//------------------------------// // End of an Era... AGAIN (Season 8 Premier Spoiler) // Story: Celestial Bodies // by Davesknd //------------------------------// A portal tore through reality. Magical flames licked through the darkness. Slowly, a tall and gaunt stallion walked through, spite and anger on his face. "Foolish princesses..." he muttered "How dare- WAH!" A beam of bright light tore Chancelor Naysay out of his thoughts. Somepony had removed all the curtains within the Equestrian Educational Society. There were also several new flowerpots, ribbons and flags with rainbows. "What is going on here?" The unicorn demanded to know. "Hi uncle!" an cheery voice called out "Awwww! You copied my manestyle!" "Oh goodness, NO!" the Chancellor groaned "Autumn, what in the name of Tartarus are you doing here?" "He is here on my order!" A cold and calm voice said from behind Naysay. The Chancellor turned around, coming face to face with the princess of the night. His eyes narrowed. "And what would that order be? What exactly is my educationally impaired relative supposed to do here? And why are there useless trinkets and the like around?" "Well, Chancellor, recently the activities of this board came to our attention and to our great chagrin, we found a few complaints." Luna said calmly "First and foremost, it is rather worrying that your school board's office is more sinister and imposing than the headquarters of the Followers of Nightmare Moon has ever been. Therefore, we have decided to check and improve the working conditions of your employees." "You know, Nany, a few flowers, some light, maybe a few foal-pictures. Things that say school and not torture dungeon." Autumn said happily "Don't worry about the robes, though, those are awesome!" "Don't call me Nany, you're not a foal anymore!" Naysay said harshly and stepped up to Luna "And what gives you any right to burst into my halls and change anything?" "Well, the state off Equestria does employ you, doesn't it?" Luna asked. "Yes, so?" "So, We decided to go on an unscheduled evaluation tour and you can believe this: We are not please with the results!" The Princess stated matter-of-factly "Autumn, please!" The cultist nodded and produced a clipboard. "You see, we found several issues with the basic health and safety precautions." "What?" "First: High risk of eye-strain due to bad lighting. You might not notice, but half of your staff are using contact lenses or glasses. Those little reading lights are also much more expensive and wasteful than... you know... windows." Autumn stated neutrally "Construction will begin soon. We'll tear out a few walls, put in some good windows, maybe an additional chandelier and that's done with." "You're kidding!" Naysay hissed "Second: New seats. These high and imposing consoles and lecterns look good when you're dealing with convicts, but we found them to be very dangerous. Earth ponies and unicorns can fall off, dropped writing utensils would break, petitioners get cramped necks. We'll rip those out and give you proper desks. And ergonomic sitting balls! Yours is gonna be pink. That's your favourite colour, right?" "What? Well, yes, but-" "Third-" "STOP!" Naysay yelled "What is this supposed to be? Princess, this is obviously a vindictive action for-" "Are you suggesting that we have ulterior motives, Naysay?" Luna said coldly. "This is about Twilight Sparkle's school, is it? Well, two can play that game! I will unlist Celestia's school as well! Then I-" "Why, Chancellor Naysay, did you recently inspect the School for Gifted Unicorns and found it lacking?" The Princess of the moon asked with a hint of mocked surprise. "Well, no, but-" "Well, your staff has. And they found the school to be in top condition and rated it with the highest marks. Very recently in fact. They state that the school is teaching and functioning by the book." Luna stated and suddenly her voice became icy "Unlike your institution, which apparently thinks it is above simple health and safety regulations!" "But-" "Consider yourself officially reprimanded! Autumn will come here periodically to oversee the proceedings. The crown expects this building to become a healthy, inviting and happy office, worthy of the Equestrian ideal of Harmony!" Luna declared. "But!" "Don't worry, uncle!" Autumn said with a much too wide grin and began to pull Naysay with him. Something in his eyes seemed to scream of a thousand missing Hearth Warming Eve presents. "I've already found the most adorable set of protective covers for all your documents. You like puce, don't you? And then there are a few bunny-shaped perforators and just the perfect colour of laced curtains for your personal office! Come, I'll show you!" Luna watched quietly as her follower dragged a trembling Naysay away and a small pang of guilt hit her stomach. Evil did run in this family.