//------------------------------// // The Hay is Cool Whip // Story: Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash Make Pistachio Salad // by Pracca //------------------------------// BANG “Eep!” A tiny purple dragon went careening off the top of his ladder as the door to the Ponyville library slammed open. The purple mare buried deep in her latest selection for reading looked up to see a disgruntled pegasus trotting in. “Hey, Rainbow Da—“ Twilight Sparkle was cut off as Rainbow shook like a dog; her body moved like a spinning fan blade as she rapidly tossed the excess water off of her coat. This went on for a few moments, until a satisfied and freshly dried Rainbow Dash stopped and grinned triumphantly. “Hey, Twi!” Of course, it was only then that Rainbow actually opened her eyes and came to the conclusion that a tidal wave had just passed through the room. Spike looked like he’d been dragged up from the depths of the ocean, and the unicorn giving a notedly unhappy stare at her friend wasn’t much better off. “So,” said Twilight, deadpan. “Any particular reason you decided to show up now, Dashie?” “Uh oh.” replied Dash, feeling a prickling on the back of her neck. “That’s not an ‘I got really wet’ frown, is it?” Twilight shook her head. “It’s a ‘You forgot something important frown’, isn’t it?” Twilight nodded. Dash smacked her head in frustration. “Horseapples. What was it?” “You said you’d help me and Spike shelve the newest encyclopedias from Canterlot.” Dash gave a low whistle. That was certainly not a little chore; the last time she’d been roped into that duty, she spent a week in the Ponyville hospital for a wrenched back. Spike was in traction for months. “Um… looks like you got it handled?” “I guess you could call it ‘handled’.” said Twilight, more than a bit irritated. “By the way, if you’re passing the emergency room today, stop in and tell Big Mac and Whooves I said thanks for the help.” Oh, Celestia. Rainbow facehooved once more, and nearly dragged her own skin off from the friction. It was bad enough feeling guilty, but did Twilight really have to pour on the hostility like this? “So then.” said Twilight, standing up and casting a quick spell. The books she’d been reading zipped off the table and through an open door to her left, off to whatever shelf they’d been removed from. “You pretty obviously forgot about what you were supposed to be coming here for. So, why are you here?” “Oh, right, that.” Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her head with a free hoof, chuckling nervously about how hypocritical this was about to get. “I was wondering… uh, if you could help me with something?” Twilight raised a skeptical eyebrow at that one. “…Right. Sure, why not?” she asked, exasperated. Rainbow chose to ignore the smarm and immediately fetched the list out of her mane. “Great! So, like, the reason I forgot was because of Pinkie Pie.” “Dashie, just stop right there. If you’re about to tell me that Pinkie ate your homework or something—actually, wait she’d probably do that… it was just an analogy anyway. My point is, you can’t use her as an excuse for everything.” Dash shook her head. “No, no! I mean, she stopped by my house this morning and—“ “How?” Dash would have looked at Twilight incredulously had she known what the word meant. “Huh?” “How in Equestria did Pinkie Pie get up to your house?” Dash opened her mouth to answer, but suddenly felt the wind taken out of her sails. “I… I don’t know…” Both ponies sat still for a moment. Though they weren’t sure why, both of them felt very, very scared. This awkward moment lasted until Rainbow Dash nervously said “Well, uh, she left me this note saying to come and help. So I did, and she stuck me with this list of junk that I need to get for something called ‘pistachio salad’.” Twilight arched an eyebrow, contemplating that name. “…What, like with nuts and lettuce?” “No!” replied, Dash earnestly. “Look at this thing, it’s weird!” Twilight’s horn glowed as she retrieved the list from her friend, carefully scanning the ingredients list. Her eyes squinted, and she leaned in closer to get a better look. She almost looked indignant. “The hay is Cool Whip?” “I don’t know!” exclaimed the pegasus. “I asked the same thing but Pinkie wouldn’t tell me!” “Well, I guess this is an interesting intellectual challenge. So, yeah, I’ll help.” Twilight turned to her little assistant, currently, still air-drying himself in the corner. “Spike, do a sweep of the library, find anything that mentions this… ‘Cool Whip’ stuff, okay?” The purple dragon saluted, and dashed off into the next room to begin his search. Twilight trotted over to Rainbow, pulling her over to a couch and sitting down beside her. “Okay,” began the unicorn. “we’ll handle this ‘Cool Whip’ stuff when we actually find some information on it. It says you need Pistachio nuts and almonds; that’s easy, you can pick that up at the market. It also wants crushed pineapple…” Dash eyed her friend with a bit of worry. Twilight looked more than a little concerned as she read that ingredient. “Uh, Twi? What’s the big deal, I’m sure Sweet Apple Acres sells pineapples, right? They have the word ‘apple’ in them!” Twilight looked at her pegasus friend like she was insane. “Are you crazy? Haven’t you heard about the Apple family’s horrible feud with—“ “Twilight! Twilight!” came the excited cries of Spike, charging back from the other side of the library. The door was magically opened for him, and he sprinted up to the ponies clutching a piece of parchment. He hunched over, gasping for breath as Twilight and Rainbow waited for him to speak up. “I—I—whoo! Twilight, I found something about Cool Whip!” “Really?” asked the librarian, quite plainly shocked. “Yeah! Really!” Spike insisted, waving the parchment around. “Right here, in one of those letters you’ve been getting from Princess Luna—“ ZZZOOP A burst of violet light faded away to reveal Spike’s freshly zipped-up mouth, and Twilight squealed in shock as she magically tore away the parchment from Spike’s claws. She pulled it close to herself, deliberately keeping it away from Rainbow Dash as she leaned over to get a look. The pegasus eyed Twilight suspiciously, and the mare doubled the suspicion by blushing furiously. “…Twi, why have you been getting letters from Princess Luna?” “I-it’s nothing!” Twilight insisted, faking a giggle as she played keep away with the parchment. “We, uh, we just, erm converse! Yeah, you know, converse about… magic and… spells… and stuff…” “Right, right sure…” Rainbow cooed, reassuringly patting Twilight on the head. The purple mare seemed to relax as the crisis was averted; just the opening Rainbow needed to bonk her over the head and disrupt her spell. The dazed unicorn leaned away, eyes going wonky as the parchment hung still in the air. Rainbow snapped out with her teeth and grabbed it, gleefully bringing it close enough to read. Dear Twilight Sparkle, I am forced to admit, this secrecy bothers me as well, but— Rainbow’s reading was interrupted as she felt a prickling on the back of her neck. She slowly turned around to see a freshly recombobulated Twilight, levitating a wooden plank. She did not look amused. “The letter, Dashie.” The pegasus gulped, and reluctantly returned her piece of blackmail. She knew when she was beaten against this mare. Twilight happily retrieved her letter, and began to read through it herself. Silently, to Dash’s dismay. After a moment like this, she folded the letter back up, casting a spell and poofing it away to Celestia-knew-where. “As it turns out, Spike was right.” Twilight informed her friend. “Princess Luna did mention this ‘Cool Whip’ stuff and, while the way she suggested using it makes me question how it relates to food, if you need it then she’s probably your best bet.” Rainbow felt a satisfied feeling building up inside of her. She was about to show Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash could accomplish ANY task, even an impossible one. Right now, she decided to just express her gratitude by hugging Twilight as swiftly and as strongly as possible. The purple mare nearly choked. “Aw, you’re the best, Twi! I’d better get going, I’ve got a Princess to grill!” Dash began cantering for the door, leaving a very flustered librarian to yell after her, “Wait! What about the other ingredients?” “I’ll come back after I get the Cool Whip!” replied Rainbow Dash, already tossing the door open. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an express flight to make, Destination: CanterloKRAKOOM Twilight and the silenced Spike winced, averting their eyes from Rainbow Dash as the storm surged back, drenching the blue mare from head to hoof. Dash sighed, and flipped a wet lock of hair out of her eyes. “On second thought, maybe I’ll take the train.”