Chapter 6: Principle Photography
"And... Action!"
"Thou hast-"
"Cut!" Final Cut's shout echoed throughout the set. "You're supposed to ask Soarin for his name. Who gave you Shakespeare lines?"
"Who's Shakespeare?"
The other sound that echoed through the set was the sound of Final Cut face-hoofing. "Pinkie, I'm still wondering how Sparkle convinced me to give you a part in the movie." Truth be told, Final Cut had a rough idea of why he would listen to Sparkle. "Don't tempt me to booting you off the set."
"Come on chief." Final Cut, Pinkie and the rest of the crew turned their heads to find Soarin, dressed in civilian clothes, complete with a button up shirt, blue tie and huge-plot glasses. "We're all a little nervous. I'm sure she just needs a minute." Even in his costume, it was still clear that his and Rainbow's month long training session with Iron Will had paid off.
The scene they were shooting took place in the 'Daily Daylight', the workplace of Super-Stallion's alter ego; Mild Mannered. Pinkie was the receptionist for the Daylight, who was also dressed in civilian gear, consisting of; a work dress, glasses and her curly pink mane done up. She leaned towards the star, "Thanks handsome. So... come here often."
"Heh, thank you Miss Pie."
Final Cut wasn't exactly amused by the banter. "A true thespian, this one..."
"You say something Mr Director?"
"I said reset, Pinkie. Now, you wait until Soarin comes in, then you ask him for his name. That's it! Don't go all 'royal theater' on us."
Pinkie hung her head. "Yes, sir."
"Good. 3... 2... 1... Action!"
The scene had begun. Pinkie's character was sorting paper work as Mild Mannered walked up to her.
"Umm... excuse me m- miss. I'm Mild Mannered. New Re- New recruit and-"
"Pinkie! Stop looking into the damn camera!"
"She's late." Refined Taste paced the field on the opposite side of the studio lot, back and forth. "She's always late."
"You've known her for over a month and you're only just picking up on that?" Thanks to the unicorns at the Ponyville hospital, Twilight's bruises had vanished, despite still being sore underneath.
With a 'whoosh', Rainbow Dash touched down in front of Twilight and Refined, carrying a saddle bag. "Let me guess; late?"
"We had to shoot other scenes we weren't ready for, waiting for you."
"Maybe you'll chill when you see I've come bearing gifts." Rainbow removed a brief case from her saddle bag. The case was labeled with a 'Top Secret' stamp on the front with a number lock that kept it from being open.
Refined's eyes shot open. "Is that what I think it is?"
"Not sure. The studio just told me to drop it off to you guys."
Without warning, Refined swiped the case from Rainbow. "I'll show you once we get our little 'news hound' out of sight.
The girls turned to find Spike, hiding in the bushes, unaware that his tail was sticking out the side. Twilight looked at Refined with a motherly smile on her face. "Just let him have his fun."
Not being a mother figure to anypony (thankfully), Refined just sighed and rolled her eyes. "You're lucky you're mounting Final Cut-"
Rainbow's ears perked up. "What?"
"-Otherwise, your little pet would be getting thrown into a trash compactor by security."
"Okay, first; he's not my pet. He's my assisstant. Second, I'm not mounting Final Cut!"
"Really?"
"Yes."
"You don't start shooting for another two weeks. So, why are you here?"
...
"I'm here to cheer on-"
"Whatever. I've got to take this case to Cut. Just make sure you're 'assistant' doesn't see something he shouldn't." Picking the case up with her mouth, Refined ran off, muttering somthing through her full mouth. "I'll tell Cut you said 'hi'!"
"Wha... I'm not... grr!" Twilight turned to find Rainbow staring at her, with one cocked eye brow and a wise-plot grin on her face. "Don't. You. Dare-"
"So when did it happen?" Twilight groaned as she walked away. Rainbow just trotted up to her side. "I didn't peg you to go for the artsy... self-absorbed, arrogant, jackass type." Rainbow quickly turned to donkey who was working the cables. "No offense."
"None taken."
"Anyway... I didn't expect you to start mou-"
"I am not dating Final Cut!" Rainbow had seen Twilight's crazy eyes twice in her life. Once when she failed to deliver a letter to the Princess. The second time being that moment.
"Twilight, please. I wasn't saying that."
"You... weren't?"
"You don't have to date someone to mount them."
"And on that note, I'm out."
Rainbow cracked into laughing as Twilight started to walk away. "Wait... wait. I'm sorry. I'm just having some fun."
"If you want fun, why don't you just talk to Soarin?"
Rainbow wasn't laughing any more. "How dare you insinuate I would date a Wonderbolt to get in the team! I, ma'am, am offended!" Rainbow crossed her hoofs and looked away, hoping her blush wouldn't catch on.
"Hehe, calm down, Rainbow. First, I never insinuated that you would date Soarin to get in the Wonderbolts."
"You didn't?"
"Yes. And second; you don't have to date someone to mount them." Twilight started laughing herself. Rainbow forced a chuckle as best as she could. Twilight wasn't laughing anymore. "... oh Celestia, you didn't!"
"We didn't!" Rainbow paused as she searched for the words to gt her out of her quick. "We grabbed a cup of cider, that's it."
"Sure, Rainbow." Twilight replicated the wise-plot look the pegasus had given her earlier. "Let's just call it even. Deal?"
"Yeah..." The two awkwardly hoof-shaked on it. "So..." Having decided that she couldn't be bothered finishing the sentence, Rainbow took off, flying to the other side of the set.
Spike, now dressed in a press hat and a trench coat, walks over to Twilight, looking at the Rainbow colored after image left by the pegasus. "Twilight?"
"Yeah?"
"What's 'mounting'?"
"Get yer Apples! Can't reboot an icon without apples in yer belly!" Applejack was standing on top of a cart being pulled by Big Mac. The cart was moving through one of the sets that was still under construction. "Aint that right, Big Mac?"
"Eeeyup!" The two of them rolled the cart over to the center of an unfinished city set. All of the construction ponies stopped what they were doing to check out the display of apples that the cart had to offer.
"I can see all you boys are just dyin' for a taste. So how's this? What if I told yall you could have all these fine apples for nothin?"
"I have dealt with prima donna's." Applejack, Big Mac and the rest of the crew turned to find Final Cut approaching them. One of his pupils was much smaller then the other. "I have dealt with internet trolls. I have dealt with idiot interns who though 'cinematography' was something you had to go to the doctor for, every 6 months after they turned 40. And yet, it is you that is making me want to have our pyrotechnics expert strap the bulk of his load to my plot and hit the switch!"
"Sounds to me like Sweet Apple Acers is having quite an impact you and yall crew!" Being in the apple business for as long as she had, Applejack new how to dance around an angry customer.
"That... is certainly one way to put it, you-" Final Cut was struggling to find an appropriate insult for the country pony, considering that her sister was working on the set. It was like for everypony he could half stand to be around, there was a planet's worth of nutjobs and idiot waiting for him around the corner.
"Don't even think about finishing that sentence mister. I know exactly how it's gonna end."
"Do... Do you, now?"
"Eeeyup! You were gonna swallow that pride of yours and accept the help that Sweet Apple Acers is offerin' you and your fine crew." The crew members cheered at the prospect of free lunches, instead of having to bring their own.
Final Cut swallowed his rage, at the cost of a drop of blood running down his nose. "As much as I would love to shut you up by signing that deal, the answer is no."
"But we could-"
"The answer is no you stubborn... worker. So how about you pack up and get off my set. And on your way out, tell my bouncer's to shove their cool looking sunglasses straight up their plots!"
"Nnnope."
"Mac, you're in my good books. Don't ruin it now!"
"Nnnope."
"Now, I know you and your sister are trying to make a living, but you don't really think I can just squeeze you in now, do you?"
"Eeeyup."
...
"Well, maybe if we... NO! You're a smooth talker, I'll give you that, but I want you off my set, now!"
From behind Final Cut, a yellow hoof emerged and tapped him on the shoulder. "Umm... Mr Cut...."
Cut turned around to find Fluttershy, whimpering behind him. "Normally I'd ask how you got in, but at this point, I'm just going to assume there's a stargate that sends ponies to the most inconvenient space they could possible be at that given moment. What do you want Fluttershy?"
"Oh, it's nothing. I can come back... never if that's what you like."
"If there's even a remote possibility of dealing with you now, I'll take it." Cut wanted to avoid another melt down. It was bad enough having one before filming had started, but now everything seemed to be pouring on him at once.
"Well, it's just. I have a group of dancing squirrels that I taught myself that said they would just love to be in the movie."
Final Cut looked over at the fence behind Fluttershy, to find on the other side; several squirrels dressed up 50's era candy-man costumes, complete with striped hats, matching vests and canes. He could have sworn he saw two traveling salesmen wearing similar outfits while he was on the road. He stood dumbfounded by the image in front of him. "I... don't even-"
"Yo, Cut!"
"What fresh hell is this?"
Before he could fully turn around, Refined Taste threw the brief case at his face, giving an 'oomph' on impact. "We got the 'package'. Dash just dropped it off."
"Does anypony...?"
"Nope. After the party leaks, we've taken every precaution to make sure nopony knows-"
"That it's the new super-suits?" Cut and Taste's eyes shot open in shock in horror. They slowly turned their heads to Fluttershy, who was still cowering in the grass. "I... I mean, that's just what I read on a blog. I didn't mean to get anypony angry. Please don't hate me!" Fluttershy covered her face as though she was about to get a hoof upside the head.
Taste rolled her eyes. "Well that's just great. Another piece of the news cycle.... Cut? Are you crying?"
"Come one, Twilight! You've got to tell me!" Spike and Twilight had stopped for a coffee break in the green room (which , ironically, was more brown then green, by nature of how hastily it was built). Twilight was using her magic to pour a cup of coffee from the machine.
"I told you Spike, let's wait until we get back to the library. I've got a book we can read together."
"Oh no, I'm not falling that one again!"
"It has pictures."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Whether you like them or not, we'll just have to find out." Twilight took a long sip of her hot coffee.
"Ha! Figures that you would drink lesser coffee from a machine, Sparkle!" Twilight opened her eyes. In shock, she spit out the coffee she had in her mouth, all over spike and the floor around him. Before Spike could respond, he noticed something blue and gaudy reflected in Twilight's eye. He turned around.
"Wha-?"
"Be careful were you spit, Sparkle! You'll ruin The Great and Powerful Trixie's new cape!"
"T... Trixie? Wh-?"
"I took you for a simpleton, Sparkle, but I thought you at least had the ability to compose a coherent sentence." Trixie's smug smile was the exact same as Twilight remembered it. Her eyes were even arched the same way.
"Trixie-"
"You forgot 'Great and Powerful'."
"What are you doing here?"
"Hmm. Unlike you, some of us ponies are here to work."
Twilight almost couldn't believe it, half convinced this was just another one of her tricks. "You're working on the movie?"
"Off course! What other pony in all of Equestria could fill the role of 'practical effects artist' better then The Great and Powerful Trixie?" Translation: Trixie's job was the create the illusion of explosions, sparks, crumbling buildings, whatever the script called for.
"So, it's your job to make a bunch of cheap 'smoke and mirror' tricks happen? That sounds about right." Twilight didn't normally throw insults back at those that came at her, but come one, that one was begging to be used.
"Some of us know how to contribute our talents to the creative arts. But that's not the reason you're on this set, is it?"
Twilight saw where that was going. "Anything you've heard about me and Final Cut is false. You're a lot of things Trixie, but I didn't take you for a gossip."
Trixie didn't even bat an eye. "I didn't mention the director."
"Oh..."
"But now that you've brought him up, I have seen you around the set more often then then the production designers and Final Cut is always on the set at the same time."
"He's the director!"
"A likely excuse! Is that why he cast you as Meekly, as well?"
"He cast me because he said I fit the role. I bet you probably just wanted the job yourself. Knowing you, you probably wanted to play 'Super-Stallion' himself." Twilight didn't know why, but she just seemed extra snippy. Not exactly something she was used to. She left the quips to Rainbow Dash or Rarity.
"Funny. But now that you mention it, you're right! You do fit the role."
"Is that so?"
"Just think about it for a second. Meekly is the ugly, nerdy, insecure, weak, pathetic unicorn that Super-Stallion only pays mind to when his much hotter, pegasus isn't around." Trixie leaned in so she was right up to Twilight's ear. "Sound familiar?"
Spike wasn't certain, but he thought that he may have seen a golden shimmer in Twilight's eyes. She pushed Trixie out of her personal space bubble. "Back off, you hack!"
The little dragon looked shocked that Twilight would ever say something like that.
"Or what? You'll call daddy Cut on me?"
"Or else I'll-"
"Sparkle!" The two ponies and dragon turned to Final Cut, who was standing in the doorway. "My trailer! Now!"
He slammed the door behind him. The irony of the situation was not lost on anyone in the room.
"Trix-"
"Oh, don't let me hold you two love birds up. With all the time he spends on the movie, you need whatever alone time you can get."
"You have no idea how bad your timing was in there." Twilight entered Cut's trailer. It was a total mess. Storyboard pages, empty cans of Red Bull, messages from the studio and prop boxes were strung all over the room. All over the wall, were script pages that had notes written on them. Some of the worst written pages had diagrams of Cut hanging himself.
"I couldn't care less. I just need somepony to yell at."
"Why me?"
"Cause I need somepony who doesn't have an excuse to yell back."
"What?"
"Ever since I came here, I've been surrounded by wackos. I've done my best to just go with it and let things happen. But everywhere I go, there's an apple cart, there's a cupcake, there's an information leak. It never ends."
"So you called me in here because you're angry at us?"
"It's not that I'm angry. It's that I can't get angry."
...
"You're going to have explain."
"You've seen the kind of ponies I work with. The Canterlot film crowd is full of self absorbed, arrogant jackasses." Twilight could practically hear Rainbow from the other side of the set yell 'told ya!'. "With those ponies, all you have to do is be a bigger jackass then them, tell them to stop or get off the set. Usually that solves all your problems. That won't work here."
Twilight smiled when she realized what he was getting at. "You know they're not like that."
"No. They're... too good for me."
"Come again?"
"They may be crazy or straight-up idiots, but at least they're good ponies. They're doing everything for the right reasons. They're being honest and welcoming and here I am-"
"Acting like an arrogant, self-"
"Shut up." The two shared a small chuckle. "I can't hate them. No matter how hard I try to."
"Well... there's always Trixie."
"HA! Yeah... you bring up a good point. Even the Canterlot ponies are looking at her, going 'damn bitch!'" Twilight and Cut cracked up laughing.
"If you don't like her, why do you keep her on?"
"Well, that was before I got this..." Cut went over to the briefcase from earlier, opened it and pulled out a letter. "Here's one little detail your snoop didn't find. We got a letter from the studio. We're going to be receiving a guest soon. And she'll be bearing gifts. Gifts that shall, unfortunately, render Trixie's position void."
"What time is this 'guest' coming?"
"What time is it now?"
"3:25."
"We've got about 5 minutes. Let's go outside and get ready to greet her."
"One quick thing."
"What?"
"Why are you so against Applejack sponsoring the movie? It wouldn't be that bad."
Cut shuddered with a sigh. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"I could say the same for half the things I've done in my life. Just say it."
Cut took a deep breath and exhaled. "When I was still in film school, I needed a sponsor to finance my film that I wanted to get into the Canterlot film festival. I kept failing and failing, but then, I found one. A local nut shop."
"That doesn't sound too bad-"
"The name of the store was 'Deez Nuts'."
"How is that... Oh." Twilight started to giggle.
"Don't laugh yet. It was the owners actual name." Twilight just laughed harder. "You haven't heard the best part yet. The trade-off to them paying for the movie was that their name had to be at the begginning of the title. Do you have any idea what it's like to walk up to a film festival commity and give them a film reel, where the title starts off with 'Deez Nuts Present...'?"
Twilight exploded with laughter, having to lie on her back. As Cut looked on, he started to laugh as well. "You see? Ponyville is putting a smile on your face already."
Cut helped her back on her feet, he had a smirk across his face. "Careful, Sparkle. It's bad enough that ponies think we're mounting, last thing I need is you turning me into a sentimental."
Twilight playfully gasped. "And what would be so bad about the two of us?"
"Come on, Sparkle. The director of 'Deez Nuts Presents; Ponyback Mountain' is obviously out of your league." With that, Cut opened the door and the two left.
"She's late, isn't she?" Twilight looked at Final Cut with a smile. Cut was too busy looking off into the distance to notice the smile.
"She's allowed to be late." The rest of the cast and crew all came out, looking off into the distance with Final Cut. They all stood in confusion, wondering what the hoof they were supposed to be looking at.
"Mr Cut!" Cut turned away from his gaze to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were tangled up in a big ball of celluloid. "We were trying to load the camera, but things didn't work like we hoped."
Cut smiled as he pulled the celluloid apart with his teeth. "Girls, when we win the Oscar for this, I want the three of you on stage with me."
The girls beamed with excitement. "You mean it?" Asked Scootaloo.
Cut leaned down to the girls level. "Let's face it kids, you're the most confident crew members we've got. Were would we be without you three?"
Twilight grew a snarky smile. "What was all that about not wanting to be 'sentimental' before?"
Before Cut could use his witty retort, a flash of light blinded everypony in the field. Shielding their eyes, they didn't realize who the guest was until Cut spoke up.
"Welcome to the set, Princess!"
Next: What's so Funny About Love, Tolerance and the Equestrian Way?!