One Batty Family

by I Thought I Was Toast


Every Filly's Dream

My prey and I circled each other warily. Sometimes we feinted, sometimes we juked; it was simply a test of mettle. Our ears swiveled and strained for some sound of warning, but there was only the soft clop of hooves and the rustle of wings in the hall.

“You done ogling my flanks yet, or would you rather I wiggle them more?” Tempered Mettle waggled his brow, and I snorted.

Neither of us broke pace from our circling.

“I could do this all day and night, if you want.” The cocky bastard wriggled his rump, but I didn’t press the advantage. “I’m told I have the stamina of a minotaur.”

“Too bad you don’t have the size of one.” I smirked as I got our onlookers to break their silence. The clink of bits shuffling from hoof to hoof filled the air as bets were honored and more bets were made.

His ear flicked, but he otherwise gave no indication that he’d heard the telltale sign of my verbal victory. “You sure about that, sweet cheeks? You’ll never know unless you take me for a spin.”

“A spin on the dizzitron, maybe!” I gave a brief bark of laughter. “You want a shot at me? You may as well kiss my—”

He lunged, and I dodged to the left, bucking him in the side as he flew by. It was like trying to strike an anvil, and I barely managed to divert him from his course. Another flap of his great leathery wings brought him to a halt, and a third sent him careening back. I went to the right this time—right back to exactly where I started—and whipped him good with my tail as he passed by.

“You might float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, but all it takes is one slip-up and I’ll be eating you for dinner!” He and the other thestrals roared with laughter as he came at me with yet another dive.

“Is that threat or a promise?!” I sidestepped again, continuing our little dance. I knew I could outlast him. I always did.

“Scree!” The next time he lunged, we stayed locked in combat. He jabbed with a hoof as thick as a small tree trunk, but I deflected it.

Dodge. Weave. Parry. Strike. Bump rump to rump, and then leap away.

Lather, rinse, and repeat with minor variation.

A tail flick here. A fluttering of the eyes there. Anything I could think of to throw off his game. Once, I even managed to run my wing down his back—eliciting wolf whistles and laughs from the gathered guards looking on. If only I could have seen the look on his face as he tripped. It was probably priceless.

“You’re—” He sucked in a breath, face flush, eyes dilated. “You’re really fighting dirty today, you know that?”

“I’m in a good mood.” I smirked. “Some hot shot took me on a wild date last night, and he promised another tonight.”

“Any—” He still managed a cocky grin as he gasped for breath. “Anypony I know?”

“Maybe.” I let him catch his breath a little, circling him as I did so. “He’s tall, dark, and handsome, with a flank as hard and hot as metal fresh from the forge.”

His grin grew obnoxiously wide, so I decided break time was over. This time, I was the one to lunge, and I refused to let him regain momentum. I was a whirlwind—a hurricane—and I rained a flurry of blows upon him. He tried to block, but I was too fast. A few good blows to just the right spots sent him tumbling to the ground.

From there, it was just a matter of grappling and pinning the poor, tired lunk. Soon, I was victoriously straddling him, and he tapped the floor to let me know he was done. I kissed him on the forehead to let him know there were no hard feelings, and took my time walking to the showers to give him a little treat for trying so hard.

I showered quickly before running back to the barracks to spritz on some perfume. Lavender and lilies seemed appropriate for tonight, and so did my newest dress. It was a mostly simple thing—a soft blue blouse and pleated skirt—but there were a few frills here and there, fluffy white like clouds.

Then came the hard part. It took more than half an hour to get my mane in a presentable state. I would have spent more time on it, but there had been a persistent knocking on the door for the last few minutes, and I had a feeling I knew who it was.

“Hello, handsome.”

“Milady.”

Sure enough, there was Tempered Mettle, cocky grin and all. When I opened the door, he bowed with a flourish and held out a small bouquet of roses. I giggled at the sight and pulled them close, inhaling deeply before taking a bite.

“Mmm….” I smiled. “Extra sweet and prickly. Don’t tell me: you went digging in the royal gardens again?”

“Only the best for you, my love.” His eyes sparkled and reflected the stars above as he looked into my eyes.

“One of these days, you’ll get caught,” I murmured.

“And it’ll be totally worth it.” He winked.

“Idiot…” I sighed and shook my head, but my smile never left my face. “So what do you think?” I stepped outside and twirled to show off my dress.

“You’re beautiful as ever, Glory.” He licked his lips as he watched me. “Although, I do miss that slinky, little black dress from last night.”

“I’m not wearing that when I’m meeting your family.” I swatted him with a wing.

“You’ve already met my family,” Tempered chuckled. “You know they’ve seen you in worse.”

“Still, this is the first time I’m visiting as your fillyfriend. I’m not taking any chances.” I pulled a compact mirror from my pocket to take one last look before heading out. Once I was satisfied, I fluttered forward to take his hoof in mine and we started on our way.

The normally two minute flight stretched from five to ten to thirty minutes as Tempered took me through the scenic route.

A quick detour to the gardens saw us circling through the statues. Their shadows flickered and stretched on the ground in the lamplight, the wind making the flames stutter. In truth, some of them were hard to make out in the dark of night, but I didn’t mind.

It was bright enough to see Tempered’s smile, and that was all that mattered.

The Mare in the Moon looked down on us as we glided over softly glowing moon lilies, stars twinkling merrily above us as we danced through a hedge maze of nebula roses.

As we finally banked away from the castle, I swooped in little circles around my date, giggling with a few freshly picked hair ornaments. Tempered gave a rumbling chuckle as I darted inwards once or twice, and on the third go I managed to plant one of the flowers he’d nabbed into his mane.

We soared over the city streets until a familiar silhouette appeared on the horizon. The monolithic cloud house floated just over the edge of Canterlot. It stood as a black blot against the night sky. Electricity crackled in the eyes of the gargoyles perched upon the battlements, and the foundation rumbled with thunder as we landed on it. Half formed pillars ended in misty trails that faintly crackled and sparked, while ivy crept over the walls from pots placed on the windowsills.

“I see your dad still likes encouraging those creepy haunted mansion rumors.” I pulled out my compact to check that the flight hadn’t messed any of my hard work up.

“You have no idea.” Tempered pulled the flower from his mane and bit into it. “By this point, I half expect him to try and haunt the place whenever he kicks the bucket.”

He frowned as we reached the door, and pulled away a note pinned onto the clouds. As he read it, he fidgeted a little, glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, smiling that sheepish little smile that always meant trouble for me growing up. It was the smile he gave me when he found himself in way too deep and was forced to ask me for help.

“Shit….”

Yep, that confirmed it. Oh, how I both hated and loved that smile.

“What did you do?” I half frowned, half smirked.

“I didn’t do anything!” he huffed before looking at anywhere but me. “My family might have done some talking, though. This dinner might be just a little bit bigger than I was expecting.”

“Oh.” I blinked. “Okay. That doesn’t seem like much of an issue.”

“Yeah….” He rubbed the back of his head. “You say that now, but you’ve never seen the family tree. Have I ever mentioned we’re technically minor nobility?”

“You’re pulling my leg.” I grinned. “You’re a noble? Your family are some of the last ponies I’d expect that from.” I glanced at the massive house that towered above us. “Well, except for the fact that you have a giant, creepy, old mansion….”

“We, uh… don’t really talk about it much,” he chuckled halfheartedly. “We’re so far removed that it’s really only a technicality at this point, but every so often it causes a few… hiccups….”

“Hiccups such as?” I arched my brow.

“Oh, you know….” He shrugged. “The old houses just love to throw snit fits about keeping the blood pure. Mom and Dad told me not to worry, but apparently there are—” He coughed. “—extenuating circumstances.”

“If this is about me being a pegasus….” My coat crackled and stood on end as some of the lightning reacted to my quickly shifting mood.

“No! No no no no no!” Tempered rapidly shook his head, and moved in to hug and nuzzle me. “Well, yes, but the bigger problem is me. I guess I did a bit too well in training, because, well…” He bit his lip.

“Just tell me.” I leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss, nibbling on his lip as I pulled back. “Whatever it is, I’m sure I can take it.”

He sighed. “I’ve apparently done well enough to be labeled as prime stock by a few of the older houses. Several have made claims on me, and my parents apparently tried to set things straight without telling me, but… well… how familiar are you with ritual combat?”

“Am I actually going to have to kick some flank to make you mine?” I grinned.

“Kind of.” He chuckled. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Are you kidding?” I giggled. “This is great! Hilarious, even.”

“Really?” He pulled me close again and wrapped his neck around mine. “If you lose, then you lose me.”

I snorted. “It’s simple then. I just won’t lose.”

“And if you do?”

“Then they can all shove it where the sun don’t shine.” I stomped a hoof and the house thundered in approval. “I already made you mine, and I’m not letting some senile old bats tell us otherwise. What’s the worst they can do?”

“You know… I’m not actually sure they can do anything?” Tempered hummed in thought. “We could probably just make an appeal in court. Princess Celestia is nothing if not understanding. You probably don’t even need to go through with the combat.”

“And miss the opportunity of a lifetime?!” I laughed. “Fat chance. Little fillies dream of this sort of thing happening to them.”

“You have it backwards.” He grinned. “Little fillies normally dream of having knights in shining armor fight over them.”

“And just who do you think wears the horseshoes in this relationship?”

“We both do, dear.”

“Tell me that when you actually beat me in the ring.”

“I beat you once!”

“I let you beat me, you lunk!”

“It still counts!”

Laughing, I kissed him on the cheek. “I suppose it does. Now, where are we going and how many flanks do I need to whip?”

The caves of Mount Canter went deep—way deeper than I thought they did. Tempered had been leading me along for a good while, and he’d already stopped me from trying to take three wrong turns, walking into the colt’s room, and stepping in guano—twice. By this point, I was just letting him lead me around, because he clearly knew what he was doing.

“Not that way, Glory.” Tempered pulled me away from one crevice to another. “That way leads into the abandoned mines.”

Okay, maybe I still wanted to take point, but I swear to Celestia, the fifth time was going to be the charm. Probably.

Oh, sweet milk of Celestia, who am I kidding?

“It’s a bucking maze down here,” I groaned, ruffling my wings as I eyed the stalactites above us. I could barely make out their silhouettes, like jagged teeth ready to chomp down on me. Every so often, a gaggle of foals would run past or an adult would fly by—dark blurs that momentarily jumped out of the shadows surrounding me.

We rounded a corner and the distorted echoes I’d been hearing solidified into music and laughter. Sweet, Celestia-blessed light could be seen at the end of the cavern—torches from the look of it, but any light was welcome at this point.

“We’re almost there.” He squeezed my hoof, and I squeezed back. “You ready to meet the family?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

I made sure to stand tall and keep my head held high as we entered the cavern. It was massive, intimidatingly so, with the distant walls and ceiling ending far beyond sight. The torches were just enough to light the entryway, leaving the vast majority of the room in darkness. As we entered, though, the merriment in the air dimmed and the music quieted.

I caught the reflective glints of a sea of slitted eyes turning to stare at me. It was like standing in a spotlight—if they had spotlights in griffish butcher shops. My swiveling ears caught several whispers, none of which were flattering, but there wasn’t much I could do in the darkness.

“Fie, you foals! Quit gawking like you’ve never seen a day-dweller before!” Thank Celestia, Moonshine was here. I had been worried it was just me and Tempered for a second.

“Well?” she continued. “What are you waiting for?! It’s all sorts of rude to just leave her in the dark! Give our guest some light!”

There was some good-natured laughing off to the left near where I’d heard Tempered’s mother, and there were a few chuckles from the void before me. Mostly, I heard scattered grumbling, though.

“Come on, now! You’re just plain batty if you think this a proper greeting for my future daughter-in-law!” There were several hisses at that particular statement from Moonshine, but a number of candles and torches were lit nonetheless.

“Such language, Moonshine.” There was a drawl from the right. “Such presumptions. Why should we bother lighting her way when darkness shall descend soon enough? Schattenkrieg has no such mercies.”

“It’s polite, you loon under moon!”

I could make out a table with Moonshine, her husband, and several more of Tempered’s family to the left now. Liquid Courage, his brother, was nursing a tankard and winked at me as I met his gaze, while Star Fort was rocking her foal and whispering to her husband.

As more torches and candles were lit, I could make out many, many more tables in the truly expansive cavern. It had to be at least ten stories high—give or take a few—and the walls were lined with alcoves and crevices. I could just barely make out the ceiling now, and found it housed an impressive number of stalactites. The wait staff seemed to be hanging from them, waiting until needed to dive down and take an empty plate or mug for a refill.

Dinner was… interesting… to say the least. I didn’t know mole crickets reached the size of rats, and I felt my stomach turn a little at the sight. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t smell good, though. Every plate was drizzled in some sort of berry sauce, garnished with flower petals.

Wait…. Was that a roasted mandraboara on the table to the right?!

“Now look who’s gawking.” The thestral at the head of the mandraboara’s table walked up to me, sneering. “Do you have something to say to the Silver Fang clan, little bird?”

“Oh, please tell me he’s one of the ones.” I looked at Tempered and pouted.

“Wha—” The offense to equinity snarled. “How dare you ignore—”

“It’s his daughter you’ll need to deal with, but yes.”

Tempered pointed at a lithe thestral mare that was eyeing him with a predatory glint in her eye. Her ruby stare met mine, and she tossed her raven black mane back with a wink. Narrowing my eyes at her for an instant, I raised a hoof to let her know I was watching before turning to peck my coltfriend on the cheek.

“That’s all I needed to hear, dear.” Turning back to the fuming pile of fewmets—still sputtering some idiotic nonsense—I smiled my sweetest smile. “As a matter of fact, Mister…”

“Lord Bitter Bite.” His glare was poisonous.

“Okay then, cunt.” My smile grew as his mouth dropped. “I would like it on the record that Tempered Mettle is mine, and always will be mine, regardless of your stupid politics. I’ve saved his sorry ass so many times growing up that I own it. Me, not you, and certainly not your daughter.”

I took a moment to glare at the mare. She smirked back at me, and I knew I’d need to beat her extra good.

“I’m the one who whipped him into that prime piece of meat you want to deflower your virgins. I tamed him. I trained him. I turned him into a good, honest soldier, and I intend to collect on that. If you prissy nobles can’t swallow that, then—”

I horked a good one up and spat right in his eye, making him flinch.

“—then maybe you’d like to swallow my hoof.”

I turned and snapped my tail at him—the whip crack echoing in the silence of the cavern—and then pulled Tempered into a real kiss. Hot and heavy, filled with lots of tongue. I made sure everypony saw he was mine.

The cavern erupted into a mix of cheers, jeers, shouts of outrage, and wolf whistles.

“Now you see what I mean, you loons?!” Moonshine cackled like a banshee. “Morning Glory ain’t just any day-dweller! She’s got the solfire in her soul! You mess with her, and you’d best be ready to get burned!”

“Perhaps she has more than chicken blood, but I doubt that will be enough.” The whorse who wanted my stallion stretched sinuously before rising from her table. Slinking over to me, she languidly held out a hoof. “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. My pompous ass of a father over there named me Mercurial Moondust, but my friends call me Mercy.”

I squinted at my so-called competition, refraining from offering my hoof for the moment. “I don’t beg for mercy.”

“So you say.” She tittered. “I do so hope we can forgo the formalities and start off on a good hoof.” She bared her fangs in a grin. “Normally, I have to beat some sense into a pony for them to begin calling me that.”

“That include the others looking to take my stallion away from me?” I took her hoof.

“Indeed.” She smiled sweetly. “And I do believe you mean my stallion, Glory.”

Aww… what the hay…. Why not? She already scared the rest of the floozies off.

“I know what I said.” I smiled in kind, and we shook, trying to crush each others’ hooves. “Sorry, Mercy, but Tempered is mine and mine alone.”

My new nemesis’ laugh tinkled like silver bells. “Oh, you are a delight, Glory. I can just tell we’re going to be the best of friends. Why, if you play your cards right, I might even reward you with the spot of second wife—regardless of what dear old daddy says.”

Second wife? I blinked. Last time I’d heard that phrase I’d been half-snoozing in my ancient history class. That was like, ancient Pegasopolis level old. What could I possibly say to something that crazy and outdated?

“Thank you?”

“Oh, it’s no problem at all.” Mercy winked. “I just love making my father’s life Tartarus, and apparently so do you.”

Okay, then. I still had no idea if she was serious or not. It was definitely better to just move on. Treat it as a mind game. Don’t let it get to me, and beat the stuffing out of Tempered later, because I saw that little glance at her flank he just made.

Mercy must have seen it, too, because she giggled and started to saunter away.

“Enjoy the feast, you two!” she called over her shoulders. “Eat, drink, and be merry, because this might be the last time you do so!”

Should I call her a bitch? I felt like that merited calling her a bitch—a friendly bitch, but still a bitch.

“What a bitch….” Tempered beat me to the punch.

“Yeah.” I snorted. “Didn’t stop you from staring, though.”

He gave a deep, rumbling laugh. “You try having me fight some hunky stallion for the honor of marrying you and not staring at his flank.”

I thought about it.

“Okay, maybe you get a free pass this time.” I pecked him on the cheek and started to pull him towards his family’s table. “Just how serious was she about that second wife thing, though? You can’t seriously tell me those stuffy old laws are still around.”

“Oh, they definitely are.” Moonshine chuckled as she pulled me up a seat next to her. “The sun-witch keeps them around at our behest, dear. Thestrals are old-fashioned like that.”

“Mom!” Sweet Celestia, Tempered actually squeaked. “Stop! You’ll make her uncomfortable!”

“She’ll need to learn eventually!” Moonshine huffed. “For Luna’s sake, she’s marrying into the colony! I already told you I don’t care if you break tradition, but she needs to know what to be ready for! Imagine what would happen if somepony showed up at your door to ask permission to give you a promise bracelet!”

“A promise bracelet?” I looked between them.

“See!” Moonshine threw her hooves in the air. “Next thing you know, you’ll accidentally have a second wife! It’s our duty to teach her as much as we can to make sure she doesn’t end up blind as a bat!”

“Alright! Alright!” Tempered held up a hoof in surrender. “Just don’t shove everything down her throat like you did teaching her to make chicken noodle. I don’t want you scaring her away.”

I snorted, rolling my eyes. “I didn’t run away back then, and I sure as Tartarus won’t run now. Give me your worst, Moonshine.”

My future mother-in-law smiled a smile that would make a vampony proud.

“Hey, Morning, do you have a second?”

I looked up from my stretches to see the outline of Tempered fidgeting at the entrance to the cave I’d been given to prep. When I nodded to him to come in, he hesitated momentarily before shaking his head and stepping inside. Reaching up, he removed his helmet and set it to the side by my dress. His armor quickly followed, and I couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow as I looked at his silhouette.

“Now? Really?”

“What?!” He flinched, looking back over his shoulder at the exclamation. “I mean, no. No. This is way more important than that, Glory.” He gave a rumbling chuckle that sped my heart up just a little in the darkness. “I shouldn’t really be here right now, but if I don’t do this now, there’s a chance I might never get to.”

“You make it sound like I’ll lose.” I frowned.

“Oh, by the stars, no!” There was a brief booming laugh before he flinched and looked over his shoulder again. “The day you lose will be the day Nightmare Moon returns to make the night last forever, dear. I just have to do this now in case the impossible somehow happens. I was going to do it after tonight anyways, but given the circumstances.” He shook his head, fiddling with something in his hooves. “Sorry, I’m rambling, aren’t I? It’s been a long time since I’ve been this nervous. Even asking you out wasn’t so—” He stopped. I think he was biting his lip, but I couldn’t see well enough to be sure.

“Come on, Tempered. Spit it out.” I stood and blindly shuffled my way over to nuzzle him.

“Here!” His voice cracked in the most adorable little squeak as he placed something cool and metallic in my hooves. “It’s… umm… it’s a promise bracelet. No matter what happens tonight, win or lose, I promise to always stand by your side. I’ll keep seeing you, regardless of what anypony says, and maybe someday I’ll even get you an engagement token.” He rustled his wings. “I don’t exactly have feathers for the mold, but I’m sure I’ll think of something….”

He continued for a bit, but I didn’t hear. My mind was off in the clouds, and I had to fight not to break into a big, stupid, goofy grin.

“...uh, Morning? You there? I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but I’m not sure there’s anything else I can say, and I really don’t want this to end in awkward silence, but you aren’t—”

I shut him up with a kiss.

“Yes, you doofus, of course I accept. Did you think I wouldn’t? I’m literally about to fight for the right to marry you.”

Now he was the one with a big, stupid, goofy grin on his face, the big, lovable oaf. Really, where was his sense of professionalism? I was about to fight somepony to the death for him.

Okay, maybe not quite to the death, but it was fun to fantasize.

“Are you ready, Miss—” There was a pause as the thestral at the threshold looked at us both. “You’re not supposed to be here, sir.”

“Aww… fewmets…” Tempered muttered. “I almost got away with it, too.”

“Got away with what?” I quickly slipped on the bracelet and held out the leg it was on. “I don’t see anything wrong with Tempered coming to visit his promised mare.”

“Yes, well— But he— I— Ah….” The thestral rocked back and forth on his hooves, looking over his shoulder much like Tempered had. “Please just follow me to the ring. I don’t want to end up in any more trouble.”

He held out his hoof.

“I’ll take her.” Tempered rumbled like thunder, sending shivers down my spine.

“But you can’t—”

“I will take her. She’s mine.” Now that was a step up from his usual growl. There was more to it than his usual cocky assurance.

It was… primal….

I liked it. I liked it a lot. He should have given me this bracelet sooner.

Giggling, I took his hoof and let him lead me past the poor stammering servant. He hummed in happiness, spreading his wing over me, and we took our time as we walked through the caves. I leaned into him, and he leaned into me. It was just the two of us—alone and in the dark.

I tried to savour the moment forever, but I knew it had to end. Eventually, we turned and saw a light at the end of the tunnel. We passed into another cavern—a large one, given the rush of whispers echoing through it. It sounded almost like water trickling down the walls, and it wouldn’t surprise me if everypony was watching from above, dangling from the ceiling, literally hanging with suspense.

“Oh my, how bold!” The ring was the only part of the room that was lit, and Mercy was standing in it, waiting. “He gave you a promise bracelet even knowing the scandal it’d cause?” She smirked. “Now I know you’re definitely second wife material.”

“Can it, Mercy!” I barked, kissing Tempered on the cheek one last time before turning to enter the ring. “We aren’t here as friends. You want to banter? Hit me up for a drink after we finish.”

“If that’s what you want….” My nemesis heaved a long, suffering sigh. “And here I was hoping we could be pleasant about this.”

“There’s nothing pleasant about a war,” I snorted, “and you know what they say about love and war.”

“Indeed.” Her smile turned wistful. “Let us begin, then. The sooner we end this, the sooner we can be friends.” With a flap of her wings, a gust of wind snuffed out both of the torches.

“Der Schattenkrieg kommt, meine freunde!”

The crowd above us roared in approval, their screeing literally shaking the cave with its volume. A few pebbles dropped to the ground near me, and I briefly looked up as if that might somehow help me spot a falling stalactite.

“Eyes on me, hühnerblut.

That was the only warning I got to leap to the side.

“Be quiet, you motherbucking bats!” I shook a hoof at the ceiling I couldn’t see. “I’m already blind here! No need to make me deaf, too!”

The roaring became angrier.

“I mean it, you bucking rats with wings! You want me blind? Sure! That makes it fair! Just shut the bloody hay up before I shut your holes so tight that even the gates of Tartarus would open first!”

There was no sign of Mercy as the audience quieted from angry shouts to murmurs and eventually silence, and I silently thanked Celestia she had the decency to wait. I would have been so pissed if she jumped me again. Once was fine. Once was a joke. Twice would have been like kicking an invalid. Sure, I talked big about all being fair in love and war, but there was a difference between cheating when you needed to and stacking the deck so damn much that it was impossible to lose.

Luckily, we both liked a challenge.

Now that I had sweet, wonderful silence, I could focus on the matter at hoof. My ears swiveled and strained for the slightest sound, and if I really tried, I could barely make out the sound of hoofsteps circling me.

I remained perfectly still, waiting for her to strike.

Soon enough, she delivered.

Quick as a viper, she struck from the left. She was slippery, savage, and silent as a mouse, making me scramble as fast I could to block her strikes. I had only the slightest of warnings—a brief blur of shadows and the slight whoosh of displaced air—to prepare me for every blow.

She was slipping past my defenses like quicksilver, and I needed to change that fast.

I took a strategic retreat, and leapt into the air. Circling what I vaguely knew to be the ring, I flew through the void and waited for Mercy to follow. Sure enough, she leapt after me, trying to keep  her momentum.

“Hühnerblut~ Hühnerblut!~”

Quiet, bitch. Your wings aren’t as loud as your—

There! She was moving up! Now I just needed to wait for the dive, and…

Now! I looped just before she hit and entered a dive of my own, following her shadowy blur. She squeaked as she passed me, making the fatal mistake of trying to grab me anyways, and that slowed her dive down enough for me to catch her and start driving us towards the floor.

Mercy screed at the top of her lungs, biting and kicking and flailing, but I was used to worse from my more memorable scrapes with Tempered. It was far too late for her to stop me.

Tempered was mine.

Mercy’s final scree cut off violently as I slammed us both into the cavern floor, creating a crater in the ground.

“Anypony else want a piece of me?” I staggered drunkenly to my hooves, throbbing in pain. A couple pebbles fell from above to clock me on the head. They clattered to the floor, making painfully loud echoes in the silence following my victory.

Then came the roaring again.

Somepony—Tempered probably, based on the tongue in my mouth—swept me off my hooves to twirl me about. It was pure, sweet, blissful agony being crushed in those hooves.

Screeheeheehaahaahaa! I knew you would win!”

There went what little oxygen I had.

“Temp—” I blacked out for just a moment. “Tempered, I need air!”

“Oh!” He set me down, and I collapsed into his side. With a gentle nuzzle, he chuffed into my side, sending ticklish air down my neck. “Sorry! Are you hurt? That crash looked bad.”

“I’ve had worse.” I smirked. “How was the fight? Was it hot? Batfights are supposed to be hot.”

“You are awful, you know that?” He gave a deep booming laugh. “That was an insultingly terrible pun.” He squeezed me a little tighter. “Yes, though. You were very, very hot.”

“Mrgmff….” I tried to shift my weight without writhing in pain. “Good. I think I cracked a rib or two, maybe more. I’d hate for all that effort to be wasted.”

“Your captain is going to kill you for this, you know.” I could just hear his cocky grin. “That was definitely an excessive use of force.”

“I’ll show you an excessive use of force,” I mumbled. “Get me back to the barracks…. We need to celebrate….”

“I don’t think—”

“You’re right, too public.” I shushed him with a hoof. “Steal me away to your mansion so that we can do unspeakable things….” He lightly nipped my frog and I let go.

“Later,” he chuckled. “Now, try not to move. The medics are here to get you all patched.”

“Love you, dear….” I kept hold of his hoof as I was transferred to the gurney.

“I love you too, my sweet Morning Glory.”

Finally fading from consciousness, I felt his hoof holding mine long through the night.