//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Superhero Shape // Story: Lights, Camera... // by Smoking Gun //------------------------------// Chapter 5: Superhero Shape "Why didn't I specialize in healing spells?" It hurt to talk. It hurt to breath. It hurt to think. It hurt to not do anything at all. Twilight had to be the first pony in history to not drink anything at a party, but still wake up with a hangover. She had also discovered that walking hurt as well. The only welcoming thing about that day was the scent of peppermint emanating from the kitchen. "Spike, you are my hero." Twilight entered the kitchen, but it wasn't Spike at the counter. "Sorry to disappointing you darling. Wait a minute, you don't think I'm scaly, do you? Tell me I'm not flaking!" Rarity's frantic shaking hadn't been helping Twilight's current state. "Oh, sorry. Does that hurt dear?" "At this point, extra pain is like throwing a pebble on top of a rock slide." "Don't talk that like that. If you want to get better in time for principle photography, you're going to need a positive attitude. And what's more uplifting then a cup of peppermint tea?" "Good point. But... what's principle photography?" Rarity stood perplexed, wondering if Twilight was serious of if she had a concussion from last night. "It's how the gentlemen of the industry refer to filming, dear. Honestly, if you want to keep up with the rest of us, you need to learn the lingo." "Us? You were cast yesterday. You've never been in a movie." "Perhaps, but this is a fast moving industry. The only way to keep up for us to be faster." "Spike's been 'catching you up' hasn't he?" The two looked over at Spike, who was chilling in the main section of the library, typing away on his laptop. "Well, for all the time he's been spending on the net lately, I figured he could do something that benefited the both of us." "You gave him the eyes again, didn't you?" "I simply asked my favorite dragon for a favor. I wasn't counting how many times I batted my eye lashes." The two shared a giggle as they looked on at the purple dragon, not paying the girls any attention at all. He seemed completely enthralled in whatever he had been doing. Contempt one might say. Twilight looked back to Rarity with a somewhat less happy expression on her broken face. "He cares about you, you know?" "Twilight, please. A lady doesn't go through life without learning to pick up on something like that." "Then just promise me you won't hurt him." Rarity looked back at Spike, she smiled at him warmly. "I'd never dream of it." Knock knock! With a sigh, Spike hopped off his stool and headed to the door. Twilight began to back deeper into the kitchen. "Spike, whoever it is, send them away, I'm really not in the mood to talk to anypony else." "As opposed to the rest of the time?" Twilight's plea had come too late. Final Cut had already been escorted into the room. "Luna's flank, Sparkle! We have a good make up team, but they're not Gods." Cut chuckled as Sparkle stared blankly. "I'd re-cast you as the villain if the contracts hadn't been signed already." Spike returned to his laptop. Twilight roller her eyes at the mean director. "Is making fun of me the only reason you came by?" "Well, it's a reason..." Cut cleared his throat. "That and... I wanted to check up on my actors... make sure you're in fine shape." "How thoughtful," Rarity interject. "But we're fine. Maybe you should focus your attention on Soarin and Rainbow Dash. "Can't. They're busy. And not as easy to make fun of." "What do you mean by 'busy'?" "They're... at the gym." "The gym? Why?" "Despite their athletic occupations prior to me and my band of merry men showing up, we need them in top physical shape, they'll need to be able to preform stunts they couldn't do other wise-" "And look fit on camera?" It was hard to distinguish through the cuts and bruses, but Twilight had her eye brows raised in a questioning manner. "Don't forget posters." "Heh, so they're just working out together? Alone?" "Celestia, no! Putting those two together in a hot and sweaty environment, alone? I might as well inject teenage rabbits with red bull." Twilight looked away. She didn't know why, but thinking about Soarin and Rainbow together wasn't putting a smile on her face. "Then... who's with them?" "The best celebrity fitness trainer I could find." "With how long he's taking, you and I could have shot the whole movie by now." Soarin and Rainbow Dash looked around the gym as Soarin's words echoed through the halls. The only company the two had were dumbbells, treadmills and a vending machine full of protein shakes. The idea of making the movie with just the two of them was tempting to Rainbow, although the love scene she found in the script a week ago hadn't done much to help her nerves around the super-star. "Yeah... Hey, have you, by any chance, read the script yet?" "Nah. Cut said he wanted to do a rewrite before anypony gets a look at it." "A rewrite?" "Yeah, apparently when you hire a guy called 'insipid plot' to write your story, it comes out with more holes in it then Swiss cheese." Would Final Cut... cut the love scene? Was there a point of keeping it in? How would Soarin feel about it? These questions and more; Rainbow Dash simply didn't want to think about right now "Yeah, that's probably for the best." . Awkward silence flooded the room as they struggled to make eye contact, despite their smiles and occasional giggling. "Hey Rainbow, you remember when I asked if you wanted to grab a drink?" Rainbow had to gulp before she could respond. "Umm, yeah?" "Well-" BOOM! The slamming of the gym's front door was loud enough to levitate the two Pegasi off the ground, stopping Rainbow Dash's heart cold. She wasn't certain, but she may have just seen a monster strut into the gym. "Who are-?" "You were cast as zeroes, Iron Will is here to shape you into heroes!" "That... and there's something I wanted to ask the two of you." Final Cut approached one of the spare computers in the library with Twilight and Rarity behind him. He opened the browser and brought up 'www.SuperStallion2012.com'. Taking after the super hero, the site was predominantly red and blue with white text (sloppily designed at best). The text under the banner read 'The pony net's no.1 source for the latest news, rumors, spoilers, behind the scenes photos and forum discussion on the reboot of the Super-Stallion franchise'. "This is great, Cut, but what does this have to do with anything?" "You wouldn't happen to know who put these up, would you?" Twilight took the keyboard and mouse from Cut. She scrolled to the most recent blog post, titled: 'Pre-Filming Party. Exclusive Photos After the Jump!'. Clicking on the article, she found several photos from the party the night before. Nearly every moment had been captured. Everything from the arrival, to Rarity and Rainbow getting swarmed by the crew, to Twilight's trip into the mosh pit. "I... I would have no clue." "Besides darling, what's the problem? If somepony want to take pictures of our beautiful cast and crew-" "Beautiful in quotes" Twilight mumbled. "-I don't see what the issue is." Cut rolled his eyes. "You really need to start catching up." Rarity looked away with a slight blush as Twilight chuckled to herself. "The issue is that someone is putting out information before we can." "Is... is that a major issue?" "If you consider getting fired and blacklisted major, I suppose it is." "Why would you be blacklisted?" Twilight asked. Every step further she took into this industry, the sillier it got. "Because studios are very protective of information. Information is everything now. If the studio wants the public to know who's staring in it, they'll let you know. If they want you to know the budget, they'll let you know. If they want you to know who's catering..." "We get it." "The point is; they're very obsessive about their news cycle. If things keep coming out about the movie without their approval, it's my head." Twilight stood perplexed. "That's-" "I said it was major, I didn't say it wasn't asinine." He turned his attention back to the site itself. "I've been trying to get in touch with the admin, but he hasn't responded yet. Spike subtly, closed a tab on his browser. Twilight glanced back at him briefly. "I'll see what I can find." "Honestly, Cut, I don't see the issue. So somepony wants to take pictures of us and show them to the world. Aren't we going to let them at the red carpet anyway?" "Yes, but would you really want pictures of that party online?" "Perhaps it got a little out of hand, but I'm sure if we look in the comments, there will be plenty of ponies admiring our-" Faster then a speeding bullet, Cut ran in front of Rarity, stopping her from scrolling down to the comments. "You really don't want to go there. "Oh, I'm sure it's quite all right." "No... don't. Just don't." "Very well... Twilight, would you be a dear?" "Yeah, sure." "Sparkle! Don't!" It was too late, she had already started reading. After a brief moment of examining the comments, she had to take a few steps back. "Well... they're certainly... umm-" When did mares this ugly start getting movie roles? Look at Rarity, she's hot!!!!!!111 but she's too easy, look at her milking drinks out of those losers. Soarin is clearly mounting Dash. Shame really, he's way out of her league! Look at how beat up that Sparkle chick is. She must have forgotten to make Cut a sandwich. You figure if they weren't going to give us anypony who can act, they could at least give us one mare who was easy to look at. I used to watch it for the plot. NOT NOAWW~!!! "How dare they!" Rarity hadn't spoken so loudly and with so much movement since her audition for Sweet Wings. "Of all the- It's just- GAH!" Rarity stormed away. She reached for an unused chair, but paused mid-grab. "Twilight, my dear, would you mind if I-?" "Go ahead." Rarity grabbed the chair and threw it against a wall that luckily had nothing on it. "It's just so- Who would write something like that? Who do they think they are?" Final Cut cautiously approached Twilight. "Sparkle... I'm sorry you had to-" "They misspelled 'now'." "Come again?" "There isn't an 'A' in 'now' and only one 'W'. Also, they lifted their finger off the 'shift' key, so they typed '1' instead of an exclamation point." ... "What?" "Iron Will's dead grandmother can do better wing push ups then that!" "I bet she knows how to shut up too!" This had to be the 10,000th push up Rainbow and Soarin had been forced to do. Enough sweat had come off them for the gym to dig a second diving pool around them. "Keep up the cracks, Dash." Iron Will took the opportunity to casually sit on Rainbow's back, sipping from his water bottle. "I'm sure they'll get you into shape faster then working." "I'll have- grrr- you know that I'm one of Equestria's fastest fliers! "Oh I'm sure you are. That's why the wonderbolts haven't let you in yet. Aint that right, Soarin?" Soarin refused to answer, focusing on the push ups. Rainbow was stunned, slowing down her push up progress. "I- oommph- I'm not in the wonderbolts because I'm not ready. Soarin doesn't have to explain himself or his teams decision to you." "So, you admit you're not ready?" "I-" Before Rainbow could finish her though, her wings gave way, causing her to fall straight onto the hard floor. Thankfully, Iron Will had hopped off her just in time. "It's OK, squirt. Iron Will's my name-" "I hadn't noticed." "-and training ponies is my game! We'll have you two in superhero shape in no time." Iron will examined Soarin, who's mind was still in one place. "That should be enough for today." Soarin gave his wings a rest, letting himself hit the ground the same way Rainbow had. "Be back bright and early tomorrow morning." And with that, Iron Will crashed through the front door as loudly as he did when he arrived. Soarin helped Rainbow to her feet. "He's actually nice when you get to know him." "You know him?" "Who do you think trains us when Spitfire is too busy? He's just doing his job." "Yeah, sure he is." Rainbow walked away with a slight limp in her legs from the hours they had spent on the treadmill while Iron Will snacked on fruit. She was drained both physcally and emotionally. "Look, about the whole Wonderbolts thing. It's not that you're 'not ready' or 'not in shape'... we're just in a state of transition right now. Don't let anyone tell you that you're less then you are." Rainbow couldn't help but notice that Soarin was sounding more and more like Super-Stallion everyday. "I... appreciate it, but I said you don't have to explain anything to me." "I know. But I want you to know that you have nothing to worry about. Did you really think we'd forget about the Pegasus that saved my pie, did you?" The two shared a little laugh. They would have laughed harder, if laughing didn't hurt so much. "Thanks Soarin. I'd stay but I'm exhausted. I'll... see you tomorrow?" "Sure." Rainbow limped to the front door, wondering in the back of head how she was going to make it back to Clowdsdale with her wings in the condition they were in. "Wait, Rainbow!" "Yeah?" "About that drink..." "It's not bothering me, Cut. I'm fine." "That means it's really bothering you." Final Cut followed Twilight into the kitchen, walking past the Rarity shaped hole in the wall where she stormed out. "I told you, I'm fine." "I've lived with enough mares to know that means this is driving you crazy." "Why would you think a couple of words on a website would bother me?" "Because I know it hurts." Twilight stopped what she was doing for a moment to soak in what she just heard. "Do you?" "I've been a public figure for decades. Insults at my talent and physical appearance might as well be written on my paychecks." He was careful not to get to close to the emotionally unstable mare, who was already aching enough as it was. "They may just be words, but words can still hurt. And I know that seeing it for the first time can be hard for anypony. Especially somepony like you..." Twilight turned to Cut in confusion. "What do you mean 'like me'?" Cut knew he had to be extra cafefull with his phrasing. Good thing he's won awards for his way with words."You're somepony who clearly surrounds herself with good ponies. Ponies that would never think of saying something like that. You're lucky." A few drops of tears started to roll out of Twilight's swollen eye. It hurt to cry. "Thank you... This really shouldn't be bothering me, but-" "If it didn't bother you, that would be a problem." He whipped the tears from her face, careful not to touch her marks. "If it's any consolation..." The rest of sentence was inaudible to the unicorn. "Care to speak up?" "I said it's not true." ... "You're not that bad. Nothing a good make up team couldn't fix." He gave her a wink, just to be extra clear he was joking. "You really do have a way with words, don't you?" "I am a writer." The two laughed for a little bit before slowing down. "Besides, those comments are written by a bunch of losers with nothing better to do. All they do is post angry comments, then go to write crappy fan fiction where they type so fast they misspell every second word. Spike subtly closed the other tab on his browser. The two ponies looked at him as he kept typing away. "You know that he doesn't know any better, right?" "Yeah, yeah." Final Cut leaned in on Twilight, whispering in her ear. "But everything else he wants to post, goes through me, go that? "You're a lot nicer then you like ponies to think." "Maybe I'm just giving into the madness." The two ponies headed to the front door. Cut patted Spike on the back as they left. Twilight opened the door for Cut as he walked away. "Wait a second. If you knew that Spike was the one that put up those photos, why did you ask me if I knew? Did you just want an excuse to see me again?" Twilight's blush did not go unnoticed. Cut looked back and grinned. "Careful, Sparkle. You've seen how quickly rumors can spread." Next: Interlude: Top 5 Things we Want from the Super-Stallion Reboot! Every so-often, I plan on writing an 'interlude' where we get to see the rest of Equestria's reactions to the film as well see elements that are cool, but not crucial plot points. The rest of the main six, Refined Taste and several others will return in the next full chapter! There may even be a few surprise guests...