//------------------------------// // Chapter 7-5: To the badlands! // Story: Minty Image // by mintgreenconspiracy //------------------------------// "All right, that should be enough!" The most senior guards, Kali, shouted, gesturing her hoof to the other three in the room. "We just want to drain out enough of the princess' love energy to break that ridiculous transformation, not rid the hive of the wayward princess," he shouted, pointing his crooked horn at the cocoon, firing off a volley of magic. "Ok!" Shouted, Carduus, the next in line to the two other guards in attendance. "On three!" He shouted, powering up his horn. "ONE!...." Carduus shouted, the other two powering up his horn. "TWO!..." Carduus shouted, the most senior guard, Kali, powered her horn up again. "THREE!...." Carduus shouted, firing off his horn, in unison with the other three guards. The pod split open, and slowly vomited out a very slimy looking green pony -- who was now covered in an extra thick layer of green slime. Yes... not just did the princess' transformation not break, but instead all it seemed to do was depress her, her normally bouncy mane lay flat against her body, her tail tangled and frayed. The least senior of the three guards, Onopordum, gave a long and protracted gulp... "The princess didn't change back..." she said, shaking slightly, her nerves utterly shot. She turned her heads to the other three. " "Well...." the last guard, Notobasis, said nervously. "Maybe... The queen made a mistake?" She asked, hesitantly. The other three turned their heads to her, their faces covered with utter terror... The queen didn't make mistakes... And even when she did nopony was stupid enough to say as such... Kali gulped as she trotted over, and carefully touched her horn to the green pony's head, and fired off a changeling detection spell, hoping that it wouldn't spark... It sparked... What followed next was a cacophony of expletives coming simultaneously from all four guards. "What are we going to do, lady Kali?" Notobasis asked, feeling a lot less emboldened. "The queen's not going to be happy?" "Well..." Onopordum responded, frequently looking over his wither towards the exit. "Maybe... She transformed back..." He said, tapping his muzzle contemplatively with his hoof. "Incompletely?" He said, combing through her mane. "Maybe she has a horn... hidden... under all that hair?..." He asked, the combing growing ever more desperate. "That tickles!" The green giggled, her attitude did a sudden one hundred and eighty degree turn. "It's not here..." Onopordum responded, turning back to the other three. "Maybe her wings are still there?" Carduus replied, desperately as he galloped across the room in a matter of seconds and started combing through the green pony's coat, searching for some traces of her wings. When the eight ball returned 'outcome unlikely', Notobasis decided to join in, desperately checking all four of her legs for the signature holes that littered a changeling's legs. "No dice..." She said, turning back to the senior of the four, Kali. "What are we going to do, my lady?" Onopordum turned to his immediate superior, and gave a prolonged gulp. "Do you want to tell the queen, or should I?" He asked, hoping that the lady would take the heat instead. "Rock... Paper.... Scissors...?" The senior praetorian guard said, nervously. What followed next was a series of games of Odd Man Out, Evens and Odds, Janken, Rock Paper Scissors, and a series of other games, ultimately culminating in a 'unanimous' agreement that the second in command, Carduus should be the one to break the news. ********** The queen snarled to herself, quietly. 'How long can it possibly take those dullards to release my daughter from that -- ' She thought to herself, her thoughts finally being interrupted by a soft tapping on her royal doors. She gave a sadistic smirk as she paused, for a moment, before answering the door, sending a message to the lazy pony that had taken their sweet time to bring her, hopefully good, news on that warped monstrosity that was her first daughter. And once she'd decided they'd waited long enough, she started to made a slow trot for the door. After another minute, they tapped again, this time more loudly. "Are you ok, my queen?" The stallion, at the other side of the door, asked anxiously, now showing, finally, proper fear and reverence for their queen. "I'm on my way, " she replied filling her voice to overflowing with sweetness and honey, as she continued her slow trot. "Very... well... my queen, " the stallion replied, his voice shaking noticeably, he was probably standing out there shaking like a leaf. Finally when she had decided that he had suffered long enough, and hopefully learned his lesson, she slowly opened the door. "Sir..." she paused, mid sentence, pulling his name from the pudding-like aether that was the hive mind. "Carduus," she said, angry that this foal could hide the news of her from her, but not his continued fear. "Do you bring good tithings on my daughter, or are you foals unable to handle even the most mundane of tasks?" The stallion stood at attention, though the queen suspected that if he could, he would be shifting his hoof around, anxiously. "Well?" She purred in a sultry voice. "Are ya gunna tell me, or not?" She purred at the stallion, building up for the kill. The stallion nodded silently. "Well?" She asked, 'playfully'. "Cat got your tongue?" "I'm sorry to inform you, my queen but, as we feared. Your first daughter, Larva, remains stuck in -- " The stallion started, getting only halfway through his speech before he was interrupted by the queen. "That ludicrous form... " the queen hissed angrily, competing her guard's sentence, her eyes beginning to glow an odd shade of neon green. "And we are unable to break her transformation, " he said, solemnly. "It's very possible that she can't be changed back to her --" he said, sweating as the queen looked ever more agitated at his words, until she finally interrupted him, sticking a hoof in his face. "Take... that... back... " she hissed, her expression turning blood thirsty. "My daughter can, and will, change back!!" She said incredulously. "You foals simply aren't trying hard enough!!" She howled, this time forgetting to shield her thoughts. "I'm surrounded by utter incompetents!!!" She said, poking her hoof harder into her guard's muzzle. "Now go back and try again!!!" "I'm sorry, my queen, " he replied solemnly, his full will turned to staying calm, and not panicking. "Our magic simply isn't able to break whatever spell, that was cast on her, that keeps her in that form, we're sorry..." "You will be!" The queen replied, with an eerily sadistic tone. "You will be!" She repeated herself. The lady had to have foreseen this, she had done something sinister to her daughter, to save herself! Carduus gave a protracted swallow. "GUARDS!!!" She shouted, summoning a legion of guards to the room. "This pony is a traitor to the hive, and is to be taken to the dungeons while I decide an appropriate punishment for his crimes against me and my family!!" "But... my queen!!!" The guard pleaded, halling on his withers. "We tried the best we could! Please --" The queen gave an angry snort followed by a sadistic smile. "And who's fault is that?" She asked, 'nonchalantly', shrugging her withers. "maybe you should have thought of that before you committed high treason by committing your feeble assassination attempt against my daughter!" She announced her unguarded thoughts travelling through the hive like lightning. "Please my queen! -- " Carduus futilely begged. But the queen was uninterested, making instead like the queen of hearts. "TAKE HIM AWAY!!!!" She shouted for all to hear, her face a dark red color, her voice booming throughout the hive. "But my queen?" Her captain of the guard announced nervously. "That was a member of the Praetorian guard, and a senior member of one of the noble families and -- " he pleaded, hoping the queen would see reason and follow the ancient laws of the hive. The queen started laughing maniacally. "I see!" She shouted, holding the bridge of her nose with her hooves. "This is how wide the treason spreads!" She said, the laughter quickly dieing. "Then off to the dungeons with you too!!!" She shouted, holding her bridge, her eyes slowly returning to normal. She turned her face to the other changelings in the room who stood around dumbfounded, their eyes wide open, and their mouths gaping wide. What's everypony standing around for?" She asked turning to the crowd of guards who quickly wheeled into action doing anything they could think of in a blur of cacophonous motion. Finally she turned her attention to one of her younger guards. "You..." she said, commandingly. "Me?" The guard asked, fiving a long gulp, afraid that she would be joining the other two in prison. "Yes you!" The queen said harshly, her patience growing thin again. "Take my beloved daughter back to her old room, if you could," she said with a smile. "Yes my queen, " the guard replied, giving a quick salute and cantering out the door, "Oh and Desert Grove," the queen said, with a smile, forcing the guard to wheel around in utter panic, " I hope you have more success the Carduus did!" She said, ominously. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to have a word with my aunt..." She announced as the guards finally cantered, and galloped their way back out the door. ********** "So... Um..." Pinkie said, softly, turning to her friend/mother. "What are we going to do now?" She asked, with a frown. "I mean Mama Minty is a heck of a lot meaner than I expected her to be..." She said, looking down. Rainbow held her head in her hooves. "I know, darling, and yet part of me isn't surprised," she said, the tears softly flowing down her cheek. "I'm truly sorry, Pinkie, darling... I never should have dragged -- " A faint squeaking could be heard as a rather large, and rusty, door somewhere, in the distance, was forced open, and footsteps could be heard, ever more loudly, descending stone steps. Eventually loud footsteps could be heard approaching as a male bug pony with scraggly blond hair could be seen approaching the cell door. The pony looked on, giving a sour expression, and bowed apologetically. "I'm terribly sorry about this, aunty, " he said, imitating those super valiant knights from the fairy tales that Pinkie liked to read. "I simply don't know what got into my sister," he said, with a frown. "I suspect she had another breakdown, though, " he said, with a sigh. "She's been having a lot of those since her first foal disappeared, and they've just got worse as her bad luck has gotten worse," he said, motioning for one of the five guards that followed him to open the cell doors. "For some reason the poor dear seems cursed when it comes to her foals," he said, with a frown. "Very unfortunate, " he reiterated, shaking his head. Rainbow stopped for a second. 'Foals? What is the darling?... Oh! Babies' She thought to herself, her confusion slowly lifting, and a frown replacing it. "Maybe I shall have to have a talk with the darling later, then," she said, her voice taking a serious tone. "I suppose, " he said, sounding displeased... with something. Maybe his sister's misbehavior? "Well, would you please step back so that my stallions, here, can let you out, my dear aunt?" Rainbow bowed, politely, and took a few steps back. "Of course, darling," she said, a graceful smile gracing her face. "Excellent, " the charming prince said, as he pointed his be-holled hoof at the steel cage door. "Give my stallion's a minute and they can take care of those pesky bars for you, " he said, with a kind smile. "And then I can show you to your room," he said, making wild motions at the guards. "Why thank you, darling," Rainbow replied, thankfully. "Chrysi seems to be in a very bad mood, today." "Yes, I suppose, " he replied, as his stallions finished unlocking the door. "She has been acting awfully erratically recently," he replied, with a frown. as the door squeaked open. "umm thanks, " Pinkie replied, her face turning an odd shade of red, as the stallion passed by. "You are... welcome," he replied, suavely, with an enigmatic smile. Though, for some reason, Rainbow could swear he was frowning. "In any case, " he said, sternly. "Do you ladies mind if I show you to your new room?" He asked, giving them an ostentatious bow, his hoof gesturing up the stairs. "Oh... Of course..." Pinkie replied, politely, her face turning an odd shade of red, again, as she waved her hoof against her face. She turned to Rainbow Dash, and whispered something, silently, in her ears. "Is it just me, Rainbow, or is something hot in here?" Rainbow replied with a frown as the stallion walked ahead. "I'll take your word for it, darling," she whispered quietly in the pink pony's ear. "So," prince Vladímir said, turning to face Rainbow Dash. "Aunty, " he said, curiously. "I've been wondering something, if you don't mind me asking?" "And what's that, darling?" Rainbow asked, turning back. "Well, I'm wondering if you're upset that your sister was made queen even though you were the older of the two?" He asked, as the slowly ascended the long winding stairway that led into the dungeons. "To be honest, darling, " Rainbow replied, facing straight forward. "I can't say that I really care anymore, I just want to know why she went and attacked my home and my friends," she said, her face turning stern. "I'm surprised," he replied, nonchalantly. "You don't care that you were passed over for somepony less qualified, simply because you weren't deemed as pure as you should have been, by the powers that be?" Rainbow shrugged her withers. "I suppose so, darling, but actually -- " He gave a stern frown. "Aunty?" He asked, coming to a dead stop, at the top of the stairs. "Are you going to let her walk all over you like that?" He asked, a fair amount of anger coming into his voice. "Did you notice how she mistreated you, her own aunt, and a hero of the hive?" Rainbow shook her head. "How she locked you in the dungeon, and threatened your life?" He continued, his displeasure becoming obvious, at this point. "But darling, " Rainbow protested. "I'm sure she didn't wish to hurt us, she only wanted -- " Vladimir shook his head, angrily. "I'm sorry aunty, but I think you've been in the dungeon too long! Your sister has treated you very poorly,... and not just you but all your friends as well, " he pointed out. "... Like Skywishes," he continued, gesturing for a couple of nearby drones, and a commoner. "Excuse me, gents." Rainbow Dash froze in place, for a moment. how did --? "Yes, your majesty?" The drones responded, mindlessly. "What is it that you require." "Excellent," the prince responded back. "Do your duty and please escort the lady out of this dismal hallway, and back to her old chambers, please." "Does not compute, majesty, " the drone responded back, mindlessly. "The queen has forbidden entry to that room as it's been purposed as a memorial for her second foal, princess -- " The prince shook his head, in disapproval. "I'm sorry, aunty, " he said, sadly. "But this is the first I've heard of this!" He continued, shaking his head. "And I fear my sister never got over the death of her second foal, " he replied to his aunt, with a frown. "I understand, darling, " the cyan earth pony replied back. "I'll speak to my sister later, " he said, turning to the drones. "Now please escort the lady back to her room!" He exclaimed, forcefully. "It was hers, after all, " he replied sternly. "But darling, I can simply use any -- " Rainbow Dash replied back, getting a hoof in front of her face. "Silence!!!" He bellowed. "How dare you turn down my compassion, it was my sister's fault that her poor foal died, so -- " he shouted, his face blushing. "I apologize, aunty, but I wouldn't feel right allowing you to receive any more abuse from my misguided sister, " he said, his valiant smile returning, and Pinkie's face turning red again. "And I'm sure she'll understand once I have a moment to speak to her, ok?" He said, winking at the two mares. "Are you sure, ... " Rainbow stopped for a second to recall the stallion's name. "Vladímir, because it sounds to me like -- ?" The stallion shushed her with his hoof. "Trust me!" He said, putting on a very sincere face. "And don't ask any more because I won't take no for an answer, and I won't allow you to bear any additional load! You are our guest, after all," he replied, giving Pinkie a special wink. "Ok!" Pinkie replied, giggling slightly. "Very well, darling, " Rainbow replied. "Since Pinkie's game, but I will do so only under protest." "Excellent!" He said, stamping his hoof against the floor. "I'm sure, once I explain things my sister, she will be more then happy to allow you and your, " he said, coughing slightly. "Sorry... The hive and it's dusty slimy floors..." He said, with a frown, his hoof against his muzzle. "Your bundle of joy, " he said, reiterating himself. "To occupy that dusty, depressing old chamber, " he said, with a smile. "Ok aunty?" ********** "Are you sure it's going to be ok if Pinkie and I stay in this room, Vladímir darling?" Rainbow asked, morosely. "It looks like my niece took a great deal of care in making this room a memorial..." Rainbow said, giving a sour expression as she touched some kind of monument in the middle of the room with her front right hoof, and discovering, to her horror that it was covered in a thick layer of dust. " and -- " As if to answer her question, a very perturbed Chrysalis came galloping, a murderous expression on her face. "Would anypony care to tell their queen why this traitor is allowed into the third most important chamber in this entire hive?" She hissed, tossing daggers at the three drones that her brother had enlisted to move the G3 phonies into their old new chambers. "Understood, our queen, " the drones repeated in unison. "But your brother -- " they said, mindlessly. "I wish he'd stop meddling," the queen said, with a frown, turning to her brother, who shrugged nonchalantly. "AND YOU!!!" The queen shouted, turning to her aunt. "What are you doing in my daughter's room?" The queen snorted, furiously. "How dare you soil my daughters room!" She shouted, getting in her aunt's face. "Do you seek to humiliate me any further, aunty, like you did to me as a foal?" "I apologize, darling, " Rainbow replied, sadly. "Your brother had assured me that -- " "Silence!" The queen shouted, stamping her hooves over and over. "How dare you mock your queen!" She demanded, sounding more like a spoiled child, then the queen of the changelings. "I'm sorry, darling, " Rainbow replied, solemnly. "I understand your frustration, and I apologize for everything, " she asked, putting out her hoof in friendship. "And I wish to make it right!" She exclaimed, raising the hoof of friendship. "Sp, do you mind if we bury the --? " "Silence! How dare you talk this way to the queen!" The queen howled, stamping her hooves. "GUARDS!!!" She shouted, partially deafening all the guards already in the room. "GUARDS!!!!" She shouted again, frustrated that the guards in attendance didn't move more quickly. "WHERE ARE YOU!!!" She shouted, again. Where were her legion of loyal guards? Where were her drones? Where were the praetorian guard? "GUARDS!!" The queen shouted again, undeterred, once again stamping her hoof. "WHY WON'T YOU FOALS MOVE!!!!" Rainbow held the bridge of her nose for a moment, her eyes shifting, and her expression growing cold. "Have you considered that you might be losing control over the hive, Chrysi?" The queen gave an unearthly shriek, her eyes glowing an odd color. "Lose control of the hive! The queen?" She asked, about ready the strangle the cyan earth with her bare hooves. Rainbow gave an exasperated sigh. "Then explain why two drones were acting so undronishly, preferring your brother's orders to release me and to give me your daughter's room?" She asked, raising a hoof in an oddly normal gesture. Chrysalis returned an odd expression. "Wha.. Wha... What do you mean? What other explanation is there?..." She said, stuttering up a storm. "It's just the nature of drone! You know, pony imperfections!..." Rainbow started laughing. "Do you really believe that Chrysi?" She asked, shaking her head. "You never have before!" She asked, her tone growing cold. "That seems to me like you're giving excuses!" "Quiet!!!" The queen shouted, stamping and snorting. "I can throw you in the dungeon right now if I wanted?" Rainbow pinched the bridge of her nose, again. "Have you heard yourself talk, Chrysi? You don't sound like yourself, " the earth pony said, with a sigh. "And, by the by, did we ever have the drones acting up before?" Chrysalis, gave a frustrated shrug, and looked away. When were these guards going to do their bucking job! "I seem to not recall such a thing in my sister's lifetime, or my mother's, for that matter!" Rainbow continued, calmly. "Well... Maybe you just didn't notice..." Chrysalis replied, not sounding terribly regal. "I suppose that makes sense, " the earth pony replied sarcastically. "Though, I don't recall hearing of a drone referring to themselves as 'great and powerful' before," she said, nonchalantly. "Though, I could have just forgotten!" "QUIET!!! Maybe you're memory's bad, you old nag!" The queen retorted. "I've had enough of this discussion." "Ladies!" A male voice squeaked, futilely. "Face it, Chrysi, " Rainbow restored back, her face growing red. "The commoners don't follow your instructions, nor do your drones!!!" She said, raising her front right hoof. "That can mean only one thing:..." "Don't you dare go there!" The queen shouted, stamping and cursing. "They don't know who their real queen it!" The cyan earth pony continued, calmly. "Ladies!" The stallion begged again, standing between the two shouting mares, a sad expression on his face, his lips upturned at the edges. "And here's another possibility aunty, and it's all so obvious in retrospect: " Chrysalis said, gnashing her fangs, her face turning a strange shade of red. "That's right, aunty!" She said, pointing an accusatory hoof at her aunt. "I've seen right through your act: you poisoned them against me!" "Is that what you really think?" The cyan earth pony replied, shaking her head, sadly. "After all, this didn't start until you came here!" The queen retorted. " -- " "And 'the great and powerful changeling?'" The earth pony responded. This time the queen didn't respond, instead continuing her rant. "And let's face it, my daughter finally shows back up after how many decades? Suddenly returning from the dead, " she said, her eyes watering slightly. "And what do we find? She's the size of a mare, with the body of a filly, and the mind of a foal!" She said, making like Pony Wright. "Just like you wanted it -- my fake changeling half drone aunt!" She shouted, accusatorially. "Sister!" A male voice said more sternly. "And isn't it all that more convenient? My drooling nutcase of a daughter who's an unfit to rule! A complete moron! How convenient!" She exclaimed, with a sarcastic smile. "How convenient for my scheming aunt who's been plotting to take over the hive since before I was born!" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Maybe, darling, maybe... I hate to agree with myself, but that seems a bit presumptuous, darling." "Oh and look, you show up just after I lost one of my best mares, and my second best stallion!" The queen said, poking her hoof into her aunt's hide. "Darling, do you honestly believe that I had something to do with it?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow. The queen nodded her head, ostentatiously. "And how then do you explain the mysterious disappearance of my third daughter, Amaryllis? Coincidence 'darling'?" The queen asked. Rainbow pointed her hoof at herself. "Me? Darling, that's absurd." "I don't think so? How else do you explain a fully grown changeling disappearing from the hive mind, and it's sight?" the queen said, plainly, her eyes turning an almost neon green. "I bet you buried the body in the frozen north where I, " she said, sobbing violently. "Where I couldn't find her to bury her properly!" "Darling!" Rainbow begged. "Listen to yourself!" The queen held her hoof against the bridge of the of hose, messaging it fully. After a few moments, she tapped the side with of her head with that, her expression turning apologetic, though her words didn't seem to follow. "I apologize that you saw me that way... I suppose you brought the worse out in me..." she lied, feebly. "Well I do!" Vladímir replied sternly. "It's obvious to us all that you lost control, my sister!" He said, getting in his sister's face. "All the pressure has finally gotten to you! Maybe it's time a more capable changeling took control! A more pure -- " "Silence Vladímir!" Rainbow, and the queen, shouted, in unison. "The adults are discussing important matters here!" "But aunty!!" The stallion whined, his veneer chipping some. He stood there stuttering for a few moments. "She... mistreated you.... and accused you of murder!" Rainbow gave an exasperated sigh. "No buts, young stallion!!" She said, like a mother talking to her young foal. "I don't care if you were born first, or how 'pure' of a changeling you are!" She said, calming down some. "How can you possibly act as queen, if you are a stallion?" "B -- " The stallion opened his mouth, the cyan mare sticking her hoof in front of it, shushing quietly. "Darling," Rainbow said, calmly. "I'm sure your darling mother had a reason, " she said, giving the stallion a smile. "But aunty!" The stallion protested. "It isn't fair!!! It's bias against males!!" He shouted, stamping his hooves. "I was passed up for a job which I was better qualified for, simply because I was male!!!" He shouted, stamping in circles. "It simply isn't fair!!!" Both princesses turned to each other, speaking in unison. "Quiet Vladímir!" "Look aunty!" The queen exclaimed, the queen's expression turned angry again. "I'm certain you had something to do with what happened to Larva, and once I prove it..." she said, wiping her neck with her hoof, and tapping her hoof on a nearby wooden table. Rainbow returned a sorrowful expression. "Chrysi, darling! Listen to yourself talk!" She said sadly. "And we haven't even yet talked about my home, darling!" The queen's eyes turned a neon green again. "Quiet! I'll fix what you did to my poor daughter yet!" She shouted, her eyes changing a bright neon color. "In fact some of my infiltrators have already found the perfect princess trainer for my daughter!" Rainbow quirked her eyebrow. 'I wonder who that darling could possibly be?' ********** Gilda sighed, holding her beak, with her paw. Why did she have to go back to Lame-estria, with all it's frauds, and phonies again? Didn't they treat her poorly enough the last two times? Especially, her so called friend, the biggest lameo and flip flop of all? The one pony, who despite being her best friend, abandoned her, like her own parents did, for a bunch of losers... Losers who had just finished subjecting her to the biggest pig party of all time! And what was even worse? Her own best friend sided, with them, against her! After they attacked her, and made a fool of her, claiming that she, Gilda's friend, had posted all those 'pranks'. No way Dash had anything to do with those lame pranks! Stinkie Pie probably set them up! So why was Dash defending her? Did Dash really care more about that pink menace, then her own friend? Gilda shook her head. She didn't need these lameos! No way! She'd simply get this delivery done, and then be back on her way to Griffonstone. The delivery she was only making because her grandfather had demanded it. And that was only because some lameo pony spent an absolute buck ton of money buying a ludicrous amount of scones. But why would anygriffon want to buy one hundred eighty four thousand, seven hundred, sixty five, and a half scones? (especially when they had a nasty habit of snapping someone's beak, instead of filling them, when chewing on them -- and that was not to mention that her grandfather's scones were the best...) Oh well! She didn't care of some lameo pony had a death wish, her grandfather's were the best, and the sooner she sold some scones, the sooner she could leave Griffonstone. Oh did you think she didn't argue with Grandpa Gruff? No! She argued back fiercely, because there was no way she was going back anywhere near these lameos! Of course, Grandpa Gruff had insisted! Because one hundred eighty four thousand, seven hundred, sixty five, and a half scones were a lot of scones, and the dope's bits would be more than enough to fund their operation for a whole year... and not just claw to beak like they normally ran the operation... no! Really fund their operation. (what a total dweeb! Why would anygriffon, or anypony for that matter, want that many scones, and why all at once? But, then again, maybe it was better not to ask too many questions... ) She shrugged now that her temper had cooled some, their taste may be questionable, but their money was definitely still good! And who knows, maybe she would have some bits left to get something nice for herself while she was in dumb-questria! Oh... and it didn't hurt that the argument had, kind of, got out of hand, and resulted in the old griffon throwing her out for a couple of days. Something about "no refunds!" It would be funny, if it weren't so aggravating! What a complete joke her grandfather could be some days! (Especially when he was having one of his rants, all of which she was forced to pay for...) Oh well! If she was to ever get out of the dump that was her home then she'd need to sell sell sell. She took another look at the map. Apparently her destination wasn't too far from home, just to the northwest of some dump called 'Manehattan'. Except... it looked like this place might even be a bigger dump... I mean, who puts their town in the middle of the mountains, in the frozen north? (heck they didn't even have snow up here) How do these lame ponies even eat? And how did their utter stupidity not lead to an early demise? Oh well... 'Remember Gilda... Give the lame ponies their lame scones and then get back to Griffonstone...' She thought to herself, making a lap from above. Maybe she should leave? These place looks like a total dump, and -- "Welcome!" Stated a pretty stupid looking dark grey pegasus with a snow white mane, an equals sign for a cutie mark, and a bizarre, mindless smile -- the smile was the absolute worst part. "Well! Thanks for sending out the welcome mat..." Stated the griffon dryly, putting a claw in front of the pony's face. "Now -- " "Welcome!" Stated a brown pegasus stallion with a dark brown mane, and an equals sign for a cutie mark. "Welcome!" Parroted Gilda, in a mocking tone. "Now -- " "Wel -- " Started stating a second pegasus stallion, with a peach coat, and a two color green and light green mane, also with an equals sign for a cutie mark -- weren't these lameo ponies supposed to all have different marks? "Whatever!" The griffon stated angrily, sticking a paw in the mind numbed pony's muzzle. "I get it! I'M WELCOME!!!" She stated angrily, on the verge of giving one of these bozos a good whack. "Welcome!" Repeated, the brown pegasus, his creepy smile unchanged. "You better stop saying that or -- " "You must be the visitor from Griffonstone, " the brown pegasus stated, plainly. "No duh Fetlock!" The griffon replied, angrily. "Now why don't you show me to the bozo that bought -- " "Please come in!" The peach pegasus stated, over the griffon. "Our founder is expecting you!" He said, speaking through his eerie smile. Ok... maybe living in exile away from her grandfather, in a cardboard box wasn't so bad? Did she really want to spend any more time with these weirdos then she absolutely had to? NO!! She couldn't allow herself to be spooked by a bunch of goofs! She just had to finish this delivery, so hopefully sometime soon she could go live somewhere that didn't suck! "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" She said already bored of these kooks. "Show me to the old bat already!" She barked, angrily. "Oh dear!" Exclaimed the dark grey pegasus mare with the snow white mane. "Somepony sounds awfully touchy!" She exclaimed, her bizarre smile still glued to her face. "In our little town --" "Right... Right..." Gilda replied, dismissively, waving with her hoof towards the biggest losers that pony kind had ever burped out before. "Now can I get rid of these scones and be on my way?" She asked, grabbing the dark grey pegasus mare's neck in her paw, and holding her up slightly -- a definitive challenge while one was flying... "She'll be very happy to see you!" The dark grey mare continued, Gilda's paw still firmly attached to her neck. "But I must warn you!" She wheezed "But nopony that has ever visited our -- " "Blah! Blah! Blah!" Gilda false talking with her claw, releasing the pegasus, whose smile didn't seem tarnished in the least. "Scones!" She exclaimed, pointing her tail at the, rather large, batch of supplies she was lugging around. "Of of course!" The brown pegasus stallion replied, eagerly. "But our founder won't be able to accept the delivery until tomorrow morning." He said, creepy smile still glued to his face (were these weirdo ponies possessed by aliens or something?) "But until then please enjoy our happy little town!" "Oh goodie!" She replied, waving her paws jazzhands style. "Why can't you lameos simply just take the stupid scones and? -- " She shrieked, roaring in the brown pegasus' face. "Oh no!" The brown pegasus replied, waving her hooves like a scolding parent. "That would require taking initiative, and that only leads to -- " "Ok! Ok!" She replied, holding the bridge of her beak. "I'll stay the night! Now JUST SHUT UP!!!" She shouted in the pony's face. "Excellent!" Replied the peach pegasus stallion. "But, of course, you'll first have to hear our song: come out everypony!" He shouted, dragging out a mob of brain dead zombponies. "Ohhh!!!!" He shouted, starting the praise of nonsense. "Life is so grand in Our Town -- " "SHUT UP!!!!" The griffon shouted, angrily. Causing all the ponies to pause. The three pegasus ponies looked at each other, a look of terror in their eyes, but only for a second. "Maybe she needs to see the light?" The grey pegasus mare said, to the other two. "Maybe she needs to lose her cutie mark, and be branded by equality, and -- " "Don't have one." Gilda said, crossing her paws, her tail pointing at her blank flank (she was a griffon, not a lame pony -- after all) "Oh..." The brown pegasus said, turning to the other two, his smile actually cracking... Maybe they should speak to their founder? But she said not to be disturbed, only that the griffon was to be escorted to her house. That night... The griffon beat her head against a wall. How long was she supposed wait in creepsville? And how many more of those goofy smiles could she handle? She meant that ponies were lame and boring, but these lameos took lame to a whole new level of lameness. And how come these dumb 'founder' could be bothered to pay her dumb bits, and accept her scones? "So why can't I drop off these stupid scones already?" She asked, angrily turning to this town's 'founder'. "Oh patience!" The 'founder' had said, finally dragging herself in, well after dark, with that same nutty smile apparently on her face. "You'll understand in due time!" She remarked, with a wave of her hoof. Did something about her smile seem almost sneaky? Gilda didn't like sneaky! "Blah! Blah! Blah!" She said, fake talking with her claw. "And if this about that cutie mark nonsense that your kookie friends keep going on about!" She said, pointing with her claw at her blank bird flank "See no cutie mark, " she exclaimed, pausing for a second. "griffon!" She said, waving her claw over her body. "Now can I Please? -- " "Oh no!" Starlight Glimmer said, her eyes going wide for a second. "We can't just let you go yet, -- " The griffon quirked her eyebrow in confusion. "And. for another thing, I thought you lameos did your own baking 'cause outside goods bring superiority and junk..." She said, parroting the nonsense these dumb ponies spouted. "Don't judge me!" Starlight Glimmer shouted, in a nervous monotone, her smile completely shattering, as drops of sweat streamed down her brow. "I mean to say -- " she grunted out, her cadance barely returning. "Whatever!" Gilda replied, rolling her eyes, as the Pink goof left. Grandpa Gruff was right -- she needed to watch that temper (especially if she was going to make sales and get out of that dump she lived in.) It wasn't like... Wait? Was there something actually vibrant passing through this grey and lifeless dump? (Heck! Even the ponies here were grey and lifeless.) Wait? Could it be? What would she be doing here? She shook her head, and rubbed her eyes. It couldn't be! Could it? The pony passed by again, conversing with somepony, the bright colors in her mane still visible -- even in the dark. It had to be! She'd recognize that traitor's rainbow mane anywhere! Wait... Wait... Wait... She had to be imagining things! Dash would never -- "And you know what's even better Pinkie?" That traitor Dash, boisterously boasted to Stinkie Pie. "We sure put one over on dumb old G!" She said, making sure to shake her flank ostentatiously when she said the word 'G', her voice taking a mocking tone. "Yeah!" Pinkie said, giddy as a schoolgirl. "Now she's stuck in equals-ville!" She said, bouncing around, eagerly. "And you know what's even better?" She asked, turning to Dash. "What's that Pinkie?" Dash asked, her eyes positively wet with tears, as she rolled around in raucous laughter. "She'll never get out of here!" She said, positively floating in laughter. "All those 'super fun', goofy cultists won't ever let her leave!" Pinkie exclaimed, her body being propelled up and down with all of her laughter. "I knew it!!!" Gilda shouted, the tears of anger and beginning to stream down her face and beak. "It was Stinkie Pie!" "It's almost as funny as that super fun pig party I came up with!" Pinkie exclaimed, to that traitor Dash, who just nodded along, so full of herself -- just like in flight school. "Yeah!" Dash said, the tears of laughter still flowing, as she gasped for breath. "You should have seen G's face when all those pranks blew up in her face!" She giggled, the tears now flowing freely. "Priceless!!!" "Oh yeah!" Pinkie exclaimed, in agreement. "She looked like a total joke!" "Yeah! I know right!" Dash said, finally standing back up. "I practically laughed my hooves off! Especially when she lost her cool and made her look like the total dweeb WE ALL KNOW SHE IS!" She exclaimed, extra loudly. "So much for my 'friend' Dash!" Gilda cried, her face turning a dark red, her face filled with outrage. "How dare she do this do me!" She hissed. "Are you looking out the window?" Starlight Glimmer asked, curiously, as she returned to the room. "You know that this seems like you are -- " "Shut up!" Gilda shouted, pushing past the pink unicorn, knocking her over. "I have to speak with Dash!" She shrieked, smashing the door off it's hinges behind her. "Hey Dash!" Gilda shouted, flying out the door, and stopping inches in front of the cyan pegasus. "I wanna have a word with you!" "Ahh Gilda!" Rainbow replied, incredulously. "You came here to finally apologize, to Pinkie here, for being such a jerk to her?" Rainbow demanded, nodding her head, seriously, her arms crossed, as she hovered in place. "How dare you!" Gilda snarled. "She made a fool of me!" She growled, getting in the pegasus face, the tears beginning to stream down her face. "You two were busy boasting just now -- " "Yeah!" Pinkie said, putting a hoof around Dash's wither. "What a meanie mean meanie!" She continued, beginning snicker. "Didn't you like my super fun party, and all my great pranks!" She exclaimed, with a wink. Both the cyan pegasus, and the pink earth pony began to simultaneously point at the 'rube' of a griffon, pointing and laughing. "THAT'S IT!!!" Gilda shouted, her temper finally completely breaking. "FRIEND OR NOT!!!" She shouted, charging Dash, at full speed, knocking her over. "IT'S TIME SOMEGRIFFON KNOCKED SENSE INTO YOU YOU DWEEB!" She shouted, going in for the pounce, her claws, both front and back, knocking the cyan pegasus out of the air, and pinning the pony down, against the ground. She raised her paw to strike. "Oh really?" Dash asked, a smirk growing on her face. "I thought you wouldn't hurt your friend 'Dash'?" She asked, her eyes beginning to glow a bizarre green color as the griffon suddenly found herself completely frozen in place, utterly drained, and barely able to talk. "W... Wh... What... Did... You... Did you... Do to me Dash?" She gagged, the words barely squeezing out of her mouth. "Not much..." 'Dash' said, with a shrug, as she began to be engulfed in green light, before finally revealing her true nature: a utterly bald (both mane and tail) changeling colt, with a slight green tint in his black chitin. "Just a very simple spell to binds a pony's magic," he said, with a smirk. "Any questions?" "But... I.. ain't... no... lameo... pony...." Gilda wheezed, finding her body doing little more then shaking. "Maybe so." 'Pinkie' purred, as the dark green magic began to spiral around her, causing her to reveal her true nature. "But my magics are still quite effective," the oddly feline changeling stated, pushing the griffon to the ground. "And without your magic, griffon, " she said, licking her lips. "Movement might be a bit difficult," she purred, leaning down to speak into the griffon's ear. "If not impossible!" She lamented, sarcastically. "Too bad Solanaceae can only cast this particular spell from a very short range," she said, shrugging her withers. "Wh... Why don't you say that to my face?" The griffon grunted, defiantly. "Oh hoh!" Solanaceae said, with a catty chuckle. "A sassy one!" He said, his cheeks actually blushing slightly. "And so many questions." He said, putting his hoof on the bottom of her beak. "You actually want my answer?" He asked, his voice getting extra kind. She spit on his hoof, being unable, still, very much, unable to move. Solanaceae frowned, slightly, as he quickly withdrew his hoof. "Shame..." He said, his nostrils flaring. "So suffice it to say: we needed to get you somewhere where nopony would miss you, so that we could test you to see if this would work, and you could be convinced to join our ranks!" He said, holding up a very girly necklace, with a blank circle for the symbol. "B... B... But... But I ain't no girly pony..." She grunted, angrily. "Doesn't matter to me," he replied, with a shrug. "Maybe your mind will change when you wear this. "B... But... I... I... Ain't wearin'... no girly..." She groaned, trying, futilely, to struggle away from the girly jewelry. "No choice, my ppprrrraaayyyyy!!!" The feline changeling, purred, stroking the griffon's head with her hoof. "Now wear the tacky jewelry like a good little birrrrrrdie!" She purred, walking back over to her boss. "It'll all be over quickly," she chuckled, grabbing the necklace from her boss, and approaching again. For once, the griffon's face distorted in mortal terror, her breathing increased, as she struggled futilely. "N... No!!! St... St... Stay away you dweebs!" She squawked, like a chicken. "Dweebs?" Solanaceae asked, in hysterical laughter, his eyes beginning to get wet. "That's a laugh!" He said, tapping his hoof on the ground. "Besides, Belladonna's associate Starlight Glimmer was more then happy to devote her resources to helping in the search for ultimate equality..." He sneered. "Why... Why.... Why you!!!" The griffon grunted, struggling to even move her head, and neck, as the feline-changeling assassin slipped the necklace around her neck, clasping the clasp. "The equality of the rule of the changeling king!" Solanaceae announced, raising his hoof to the skies. "No! No! No!" The griffon shrieked, her eyes glowing a morbid dark color. "ARRRRGH!!!!" She shouted, in utter pain, as lightning rained down from above on the griffon, blanketing the whole village in a bright light. As the light began to clear, the griffon remained. "Excellent, " Solanaceae announced, proudly. "Number four!" He said, shaking his associate's hoof (though she was more reluctant to.) "Only two more!" He said, turning to the griffon, who slowly started to stir. "So how are you feeling Gilda?" The lead assassin asked. "Hrrrummmppph....." The griffon replied, turning away. "Why don't you show me that boss of yours already..." She said, sounding bored. "Talking to you two bozos is a waste of my time..."