//------------------------------// // Chapter 4-3: Meet the G4 ponies! // Story: Minty Image // by mintgreenconspiracy //------------------------------// Meanwhile, around the time that Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash first set hoof into the bazaar. Applejack just stood there listless. Business was horrible today, despite the fact that she almost always did well on days like today. She could only guess why. Maybe it had something to with the day's weather debacle? "Sure is slow n' stuff today. Ain't it Mac?" She asked her brother with a grin as he passed by, probably getting supplies for one of the farm's fixit chores. "Eyup." The stallion responded. "Sure 'nuff." He said, contemplatively. Just about when she was thinking of quitting for the day, her sister rushed by. "Hey sis!" Apple Bloom said, with enthusiasm. "Can I borrow some bricks an' mortar?" She said quickly, hoping her sister would just say yes. "Ah' 'spose." Applejack said, scratching her head. "But what 'cha need 'em for?" She asked, thinking her sister was up to something. "Ahh man!" Apple Bloom said, with a scowl. "Y'all won't let me do anything!" She said with a scowl, getting close enough to her sister to stare at her in the eye. "Y'all just don't want me earning my cutie mark! That's all and!" She said, starting to sniff. "Why y'all wear'in perfume?" She asked, with confusion. "You never wear perfume!" "Well maybe I'm just try'in to put mah best hoof forward for the customers!" She said, belligerently. "Or maybe you're trying to impress somepony!" Apple Bloom said, looking at her sister, who was sweating slightly, biting her lip. Apple Bloom just smiled cattily -- this was the chance to force her sister to let her get bricks and mortar so they could build a citadel and be CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS WAR LORDS YAY!!!!! "So who is it?" She asked, with a smirk. "Maybe it's..." Applejack said, her eyes darting around, trying to spit out a lie. When that didn't happen, she always had plan B. "None of your business!" She exclaimed. "Uh huh!" Apple Bloom said, getting ready to spring the trap. "Or maybe it's that brown stallion that looks kind'a like mah brother!" She said, getting real close to her sister's face. "You know, the one you always give free apple's too! What's his name? Creme Brulee, or somethin'?" Applejack started to shake violently. She wanted to lie, but neither her nature or element would permit it (the last few times she tried, the results were hilarious.) "Fine!" She said, looking defeated. "Y'all can go and get them bricks and mortar! I have to get back to work!" She shouted. "Thanks sis! You're the best sister ever!" Apple Bloom said, with a smile. Applejack simply sighed, she knew this was going to be coming up again, and she was not pleased at all about it. Truth be told, she did like the stallion, but she really didn't want her sister butting into her business -- especially after the last time Apple Bloom and her friends attempted to play match maker! Meanwhile, in the distance, somepony shouting could be heard. "Darling! Please reconsider! This is extremely important, and I simply won't abide this undashing behavior!" Applejack simply face hoofed. What was Rarity fussing about this time? It must be a doozie! Just listen to her yammer. "What do you s'pose has that mare all in a tizzy this time?" She said trotting over -- was it her something giving her mane the frizzles? Or did the stallion call her ugly or somethin'. "And darling, where do you get off saying unkind, unrainbowy things like that?" The mare said, now having to hold herself up by propping her front hooves on the stall. The more the mare talked, the worse her headache. Was everything starting to go green? And she just got more and more angry.. how dare anyone talk this way about her... All of a sudden, she was snapped out of it by a hoof tapping her shoulder. "What's the matter Rarity? You sound..." Applejack said, to the mare, holding her hoof on her shoulder. "Excuse me, darling?" Rainbow said, her headache slowly subsiding. "I think you have me confused with someone else, darling." "Great Horny Toads!" Applejack shrieked in shock. "Rainbow dash hit her head doing one her dang fool stunts, and caused her muzzle to swell in size 30 times its normal size; and it cut off the blood flow to her head, and now she thinks she's rarity!!!!" She said, in horror, trying to drag the cyan mare away from the stall. "Don't worry 'Dash ah'll get ya to the hospital right quick!" She said, with urgency. "Excuse me, darling! But I think you have me confused for someone else!" Rainbow said, with concern. "But, I do feel like I need to ask, how do you know my name darling?" Rainbow said, with surprise. "When I don't even know yours!" She said, with a sigh. "Holy smokes! It's worse than I thought!" Applejack shouted, in horror. She needed to get Rainbow Dash to the doctor now before the swelling in her head becomes fatal! "Actually she's ok..." Pinkie said, winking slightly. "And no, I'm actually fine, my muzzle is always this big!" She said, answering Applejack's question before it could be asked. "Umm... Ok... if'n you say so pinkie." Applejack said, scratching her head. "But why's pinkie talk'n like that fer?" She thought to herself, feeling completely befuddled -- did Pinkie and Rainbow Dash's counter parts somehow find their way through Starswirl's mirror from the world with that other Sambra? (She wondered if he was still evil, or if the other Princesses found a way to bring back his true nature.) "So Rainbow -- do you mind if'n I call you Rainbow? What's with all the catawallen?" Applejack asked. Wondering why Rainbow of all ponies was yelling at Crafty Crate. "Oh, darling my friend hurt herself a few days back, and that wonderful darling, zecora has been making potions to make her feel better!" Rainbow said, looking sorrowful. "But she needs me to get radishes for her potion." Rainbow said, looking into Applejack's face. Applejack simply shook her head -- swallowing a chuckle. It was distracting to hear Rainbow Dash talking like Rarity. "But your friend Twilight said everyone was out! But luckily Pinkie's squink discovered that this darling man has them." Rainbow said, starting to get angry again. "But he refuses to sell for any reason, and I simply can't comprehend why, darling!" Applejack swallowed the urge to snicker, it was like some kind of joke to her that her friend rainbow dash was talking like this (it was like the polar opposite of everything she stood for). "But anyway, darling. She asked really quite politely, darling. But all this un-darling man did was insult her -- in the least dashing way possible! And frankly, ..." Rainbow ranted, filling with anger again. "Applejack" Applejack responded, it felt weird reminding Rarity Dash of her name, after all both Rainbow Dash and Rarity knew it so well (all three of them were kind of frenemies, and rivals in their own ways.) "Applejack, darling!" Rainbow corrected herself. "I'm quite beside myself!" She said, feeling like she needed to punch the merchant. Applejack simply held her back, and began to talk. "Let me talk to old Craft Crate, Rainbow." She said, with a wink. "Now Crate, y'all know it isn't nice to call people names! S'des these are friends of mine!" She said, sternly. "Couldn't you do me a solid, and help them out lik'n I've helped you out." She said, reminding the old pegasus of some of the things she did for him when he was first starting business in the town (like his whole failed delivery service -- which ended when ten tons of junk fell on Twilight's head, though she should've respected the power of Pinkie sense!) "You know it doesn't work that way apple!" Crafty Crate shouted at the orange earth pony. "And I've said to both of them a hundred times I don't have any!" He said, lying to the element of honesty's face. "let me guess, Crafty!" Applejack scowled, sternly. "Saving them till the price goes up?" She said, shaking her head with disappointment. "Well can't force you ta' sell and all, so Rainbow, Pinkie and I'll go elsewhere!" She said, ripping the two G3 phonies away from the stall. "Sure we can find someone willin to sell theirs!" She said, starting to smirk at the pegasus, as she started to pull a shaking rainbow dash, and a very sad looking pinkie away, and started to trot off. "Though, I guess it would be right neighborly of me to mention that I won't be sellen y'all any cider this year!" She shouted, with conviction as she was starting to walk out of earshot. "Guess Rainbow dash here'll finally get a chance to get some!" She said, remembering all the times Rainbow wanted to try the cider only to realize that Pinkie, or Mr. Rich was getting most of it. "Seeing as I'll make sure ta' be out when you come to buy." She said, reminding him of the ten or twenty barrels she made available for him to sell in the late fall, and early winter. "Wait, applejack!" Crafty Crate said, apologetically. "Maybe we can work something out?" He said, on the verge of begging. "I'm listenin." Applejack said, with a smirk. It was time this jerk understood what came from picking on her friends. "Double the going rate!" Crafty Crate said, bringing out one of his hidden boxes of the vegetable. Applejack simply shook her head, beginning to show her displeasure even more openly. "Well guessen ah should mention to granny that we won't be sellin you any cider this year -- cause' y'all dishonest, and you know how she treasures honesty!" She said, with a scowl, and a frown. "one and a half times the going rate." Craft Crate said, half bartering, and half begging. "All of a sudden, I wonder if'n Mac still has a secret shinin for pinkie!" Applejack said, giving a silent apology to her brother! "Would be bad for you if'n he still did -- after y'all went and insulted her!" She said looking away scornfully, as she talked! "fine the normal rate." The old pegasus said, looking defeated. "I can make that work" Pinkie said, with a smile. "Thank you Applejack!" She said, politely. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't shown up!" She said, with a giggle. "Remember Dash!" Applejack said, with an honest smile. "You run into any more trouble, just let me know! Ya'hear!" She said, waving to Dash on her way back to her cart. "Don't be a stranger Dash!" She said, with a friendly smile. Rainbow smiled, reluctantly. "Of course, darling!" She said, as she started trotting away, sadly. "What happened there?" She thought to herself, with a sigh. She almost never got angry, and certainly never this angry! And what was with her eyes. Was she going blind? But what blindness comes with a field of green vision? Pinkie frowned. She didn't like to see Rainbow upset. And when the yesterday had started so well, she sighed. ******** "Have a good day and come again! Ya' hear!" Applejack said, with a smile as Cheerilee left, holding a nice large bag of apples in her mouth. "Ahh it's good ta make ponies happy!" She said channeling her inner Pinkie. "Ah' —" She started saying to herself, before being knocked down by a cyan blur. Getting up, and knocking off the dust, Applejack scowled at her cyan friend. Rainbow responded by smiling and blushing apologetically. Finally she launched into a question. "Hey AJ!" Rainbow said, starting to scowl. "You seen an imposter me running around?" She asked her friend, with a frown. "She's been running around besmirching my good name!" Applejack simply responded with a mighty smirk. "Color me impressed! Ya'all know the word 'besmirch'!" Rainbow blushed, with embarrassment. "Yeah! Twilight's been allowing me to borrow some books for the next Wonderbolts Reserve test, and!" She said, stopping for a second, her whole body freezing into a strange expression. "HEY!!!! We're not talking about my grammar! We're talking about that imposter me! She's all like 'I'm Rarity, darling! But I look like Rainbow Dash!' And it's making me look like a fool!" Applejack sighed. "Ah'm glad that ya'all ain't talkin' like Rarity no more! Ah really am!" She said, face hoofing. "But ah can't see like yer all getting worked up about ponies comparin' ya to Rarity when they all go an' claim all kind-a' things about the ponies y'all date?" Rainbow sighed, Applejack made a good point. "Yeah! I've heard most of those stories, and they do drive me crazy! But this is about my image! My cool!" Rainbow said, forgetting what she had just learned. "I mean what would the squirt say if she thought I'd been going around acting like Rarity? And what would the Wonderbolts think?" She asked in horror. "You have to help me Applejack! We have to stop her before it's too late. Applejack smiled, rolling her eyes. "Look ah think ya'll be just fine!" She said, with a blink. "But fer now I have apples ta' sell! So either ya' buy some apples or head out, and ah'll help ya find this 'imposter' later!" She said, with a wink. Rainbow Dash was furious. This was serious! This was not some disaster! This wasn't just some lies about her love life! This was her cool! This was her image! "RARRRRR!!!!!!!" She shrieked in absolute complete and total frustration. She'd have to find that imposter Dash on her own! Applejack simply smiled to herself. She was certainly glad that the swelling in Rainbow's muzzle went down quite a bit. She certainly hoped though that this whole incident would teach Rainbow not to do those dang fool stunts! ******** Rainbow Dash stood there, holding her head. Everything still felt off, and she didn't know what happened back there, but the mere fact it happened upset her greatly. She almost never lost her temper, at least not like she did back there. There was still some green in her range of vision, but it was slowly receding. "So Pinkie, darling, what is the next thing on Zecora's list, daring?" She asked, trying to resurrect her smile. "Umm!" Pinkie said, her voice protesting slightly. "I don't think I can. I guess, apparently, I'm going somewhere…" Pinkie said, as she was being carried away by her counterpart. "Um… I guess I'm going to see you later Rainbow Dash!" She said, with a slight frown. "Oh!… Ok!" Rainbow said, still suffering from a migraine. "Whatever you say, darling." She said, with confusion watching her pink ball of fur being carried away by another pink ball of fur. "I suppose that I wasn't invited to that party." She said to herself, with a sigh. In a blink and a flash, Pinkie found herself in the dark, spooky basement of a building somewhere. "Oh wow! It is spooky down here, and stinky too!" Pinkie lamented, holding her nose slightly. "Oh course!" The poofier Pinkie said. "Where else would we celebrate your birthday party! It's cupcakes sheik!" She said, with great enthusiasm. "It's the perfect party for a straight haired me!" "Oh… Ok!" Pinkie said, with hesitation to her manic counterpart. She was actually grateful someone was celebrating her birthday, but she wasn't sure why her birthday was being celebrated in a spooky stinky basement. And was that a slab over there? As if answering her question the pinker haired Pinkie responded. "It's my basement! And here a slab! And Rainbow Dash is on it!" she said, getting ever more enthusiastic, to the point where it was starting to get creepy. "Don't worry!" She said, talking to the fourth wall, while holding her hoof to her mouth. "She's not really on it! She's made of cake!" She said, to the fourth wall. "And the fur comes from the fur the sheds doing her dangerous and unorthodox stunts! And the feathers come from my secret stash of feathers that I've been stealing from Rainbow's bed for years!" She said, with a huge smile. "Say what!?" A pegasus Rainbow Dash said, protesting, all of a sudden finding herself standing in the room. "And why am I the one up there on the slab!?" She said, feeling distressed and agitated. "In fact, why am I here in the first place!? I have an imposter to find!" The manic Pinkie stared at her Rainbow Dash, looking none too happy. "Shhh!!!" She loudly exclaimed, motioning to her lighter manned counterpart. "I'm having a party for a psychotic, straight haired me!" She said, with enthusiasm, rushing upstairs, and zipping back quickly with a very large knife. She turned to her straight haired, G3 counterpart. "Here's your machete, now make sure to take the hooves off the cake first!" She said, with enthusiasm. "They're made from marzipan." She said to her G3 counterpart, holding one hoof to her mouth, and whispering slightly. "Sorry, I don't have the supplies to make a Pony suit today, but I have a lot of Fluttershy's knitting wool!" She said, with glee. The G3 looked at the large knife, and gulped slightly — holding the machete as if it was made of plutonium. "Ummm…." She said, frowning anxiously. "Ok! I don't think I'm old enough to be handling this!" Pinkie said, sarcastically. The poofie haired Pinkie smiled, undeterred. "Ok!" She said, manically. "Maybe something a little more kid friendly then!" She countered, her enthusiasm unceasing. Suddenly two Pinkies, and a pegasus Dash were standing in main room dining area of the Sugarcube Corner. The straight haired Pinkie barely had time to scratch her head before her poofie haired counterpart unceremoniously shoved a stick in her mouth. "Ewwww! Yuck!" She exclaimed, grabbing the stick with her hoof, and spitting loudly. "And here's your blind fold!" The poofie Pinkie volunteered, with enthusiasm. "And here's the piñata!" She said, throwing the blindfold on her calm double (it's like payback for her Ferris Wheel adventure!) "Hey!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, with displeasure, as the speedster dash looked at the piñata. "Why does the piñata look like me?! And how the hay did we all get here?" Rainbow asked with displeasure, feeling uneasy that her friend used her not just as the cake, but also the piñata. "Shh...." Rainbow's Pinkie exclaimed loudly, to her Rainbow Dash. "It's my psychotic straight haired double's party!" Pinkie said, twitching slightly. "And all her friends are here!" Pinkie said, motioning to Rainbow 'Darling' Dash, as well as all of the manic Pinkie's Ponyville friends. "What am I doing here again, darlings?" The fashionable Rainbow Dash asked, in utter surprise. "Should I be out getting supplies, or something, darlings?" And why does that piñata look like me?" She asked, in confusion, looking at the piñata version of the tomboy Dash. "Why Darling, you do look familiar!" She said to her tomboy counterpart. "Have we met before?" She asked, looking over every inch of the other Dash. But before either Rainbow Dash could continue, the calm Pinkie chimed in. "Oh, Pinkie! It's a pinkalishish party! It really is. But could I get something nice and quiet for my birthday, like a nice quiet tea party? I simply adore tea parties!" She said, putting her hoof to her mouth to think. "Or maybe I could explain to you all the proper way to inflate a balloon? (Don't ask, she actually did that one birthday.)" The wheels in the poofie Pinkie's head began to turn. "WOW!!!" She said enthusiastically, her mind beginning to move at high speeds. "We can totally have the world's largest tea party! And we can drag out a bunch of one time characters one final time! And then we can pretend that they never, ever, ever, existed at all! And some pony will suddenly change their voice permanently! I vote Rainbow Dash, because who talks that way anyway!?" Pinkie said, looking at her speedster friend, at the end. "Hey!" The Wonderbolt wannabe Dash barked. "What do you mean by that?" "Darling!" The designer Dash protested. "I take umbrage at that remark, darling!" "Shush!" The sugar rush Pinkie protested. "And then we can drag a forty minute episode out indefinitely with an endless parade of pointless musical numbers! And drink out of 2-d paper cups! And then someone can forget the tea!" Pinkie said, starting to bounce in place. "But who?" She said, stopping to think for a second (but only a second!) "I know!!!! Trixy: because she messes everything up!" Pinkie said, rushing into the kitchen to bring out sweets. Meanwhile: somewhere in Equestria a changeling drone felt strongly that someone was insulting them: "HEY!!!!! Trixy does not mess everything up!" She shouted, in utter incredulity. Meanwhile back at sugar cube corner. Pinkie was happy at the fact that her darker counterpart was going to do something nice and quiet for her birthday. "That sounds like Pinkie keen fun! Oh wait…" She said, a question coming to mind. "But then why did you do the whole gasping thing?" She asked of her dark haired duplicate. The frenzied Pinkie took a deep breath before responding. "Why: because first I thought that Rainbow dash had had another bodacious crash, and caused her muzzle to expand oh 3.1415 times pi or so times! But then I realized that you couldn't be me! And Rainbow Dash never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever dresses in style! Ever! So I added two plus the square root of a bowl of oatmeal, and then divided by the height of the Washington monument, and then added the height of the Lincoln memorial and multiplied it by the average cost of living in Canterlot! And then I added -1492 and I got cheese! And that made me realize that this couldn't be me, me, but had to be... another me." She said, pausing for a second. "One that I hadn't met yet! And it was a straight haired me! And that meant that I just had to tailor my party for a crazy me! And then we need to have a welcome to Ponyville party later tonight!" The Pinkie said, practically as one sentence, with more enthusiasm then the G3 pony had ever seen before. "Oh!… Ok…." Pinkie's G3 double said, her head spinning visibly. ******** And Ponyville's own party planner was true to her word, throwing a shindig that truly was ' birth-iversary' big for her. About halfway through, she finally got to ask a question of Twilight. "Oh Twilight!" Pinkie said, with a grand smile, in eager anticipation of the 'grand sundress' that Pinkie said her friend Rarity would make later for her. "This has been a truly Pinkie keen party!" She said with a smile. "Well I'm glad." The princess of friendship said. "I'm actually surprised. This is also probably the most toned down party Pinkie has ever frown." "Well actually." Pinkie said, with a blush. "She had a couple more out stated parties for me, but I kind of found them a little different! And this party is perfect! What would have been more perfect is if my friend was feeling better!" Twilight nodded. "Well she does know how to throw the best parties! It is her special ability after all, signified by her Cutie Mark!" "Cutie Mark?" Pinkie said, with a tilt of her head. "What's that?" Twilight was completely perplexed. "You don't know what a Cutie Mark is?" Pinkie simply shook her head. "No, not really!" Twilight was puzzled, how could she have a cutie mark and not know how to get one? "Well, what were you doing when you got yours?" Pinkie smiled, innocently. "I've always had this one, ever since I was a newborn cutie. I think Mama Pie put this design on my diapers even." Twilight sighed. What strange place did these ponies come from? "Is there anything you'd like to ask me?" Pinkie nodded. "Well, when I heard you were some kind of special horned pegasus princess. I was kind of expecting you to live in a giant crystally tree palace place instead of a book tree." Twilight smiled. "Yeah! My rule as princess has been pretty unusual." She said, with a reluctant smile. "I thought for a while we might lose the good old Golden Oaks during Tirek's attempted coup. But luckily, in the middle of our fight, he turned north and went towards the crystal empire instead." She said, with a smile. "It's a long story, but one that, I think, is worth telling." "So there I was. Stuck in a rock." Twilight said, with a blush (so much for perfectly controlled teleportation.) "The powers of four alicorn princess will do that to you, you know?" She said to the new pink pony, who simply shook her head. "Nope, sorry." Pinkie responded. "Yeah I suppose you wouldn't." She said, with a blush and a chuckle. "In any case! Tirek came by, complaining that I had 'something that belongs to him'. So, after a pethetic attempt to fly away -- that resulted in me facing him face to face -- I did the only smart thing, and teleported back to the oaks." Twilight said, with a smile. "Turns out panic is a good teacher when comes to learning magic." She said, with a blush. "In the end, I was staring face to face with him through my telescope, watching him power up a magical death beam --" Twilight said, remembering it clearly "and then, as I was preparing to teleport away with what little I could." She said, interrupting her own thought train. "He just suddenly stopped his attack, and then left, rambling something about 'not being tricked a second time by my distractions -- not after what happened in Canterlot!' apparently he found some kind of powerful magic source to the north, supposedly more powerful than the combined magic of four alicorns. And then, just like that, he just started to march north." "So he just gave up and left?" Pinkie asked. "Why would he do that?" "Well, he didn't really give up." Twilight said, with an embarrassed blush. "Instead, he just decided to use my friends as a bargaining chip in 'a trade: my friends lives for my magic!' In the end, I couldn't refuse." Twilight said, shaking her hoof slightly. "Of course, after we got our rainbow powers, we had to face him in the frozen north -- it was quite a fight!" She said, with a chuckle. Suddenly Pinkie's hyperactive alter-ego materialized, out of a book shelf. "That wasn't what happened!" Pinkie said with a smile. "Actually: there you were watching Tirek power up his death beam. And then he's all like -- " Pinkie said, rearing up to two hooves, and making a high pitched whirring sound as she motioned with her hooves from an invisible horn. "And then you were all like 'uh oh'! And you teleported out only with Owlowiscious right before the library went 'whoosh'!!" She said, waving her hooves to the word 'woosh'. "Then you were all like 'gasp'! And the library was all like a crater! And then you were all like GRRRR!!!!! And then the music was all like -- " Pinkie said, before making a hi-pitched electric guitar riff. "And then you fought! And he was all like -- " Pinkie said, rearing up, and using her front hooves for 'horns'. "Now I understand what your fellow princesses have done." She said, her voice suddenly getting very deep and dark. "And then you had a battle too epic for a kids show then he was all like 'It seems we are at an impasse' and then he totally used your friends as bargaining chips. But everything else was the same. Oh except you battled him in the middle of the forest or something -- because Tirek totally hates trees, or something!" She said, sounding like she'd been drinking too much coffee. Twilight and Pinkie just looked at each other, puzzled as to what Pinkie's alter-ego was going on and on about. ******** "Pinkie, darling, that was an absolutely Rainbowy ravishing party!" Rainbow said, with a smile. "But I simply must be going, darling; I have a few more ingredients to get before the day is done, darling. Zecora needs only a couple more things, including a costume for something called 'Nightmare Night' -- which I have never heard of before, is it anything like Halloween?" She asked with a smile, starting to turn around to leave. "Hold it!" Another Rainbow Dash barked. "You aren't going anywhere!" She barked, her back arched, her wings extended, and her fur standing on end. "So you're the one who's been making a foal of me!" "I'm sorry, darling?" Rainbow said, with a confused expression. "Whatever seems to be the matter darling?" She said, smiling innocently. "That!" The other Rainbow Dash said, belligerently. "You going around making me look like a foal talking about 'fashion' and 'Rainbows' and 'FASHION'!" She exclaimed, practically head butting the fashionable earth pony, before she stopped, starting to cry. "H...h....h....how dare you do that to me!" She sobbed. "What will the squirt say, and all the kids when they think their idle is a softy?" She said, half sobbing, and half scowling. "What will the Wonderbolts think? They...they might not think I'm tough enough!" Rainbow Dash frowned, herself crying. "I'm terribly sorry about that, darling! I really didn't mean to make you look bad!" She said, as she put her hoof on the other Rainbow Dash's shoulder. "But it isn't any easier on me! For some reason every pony treats me as if I'm some kind of frightful monster! And I don't even know why! It's like they see my beautiful muzzle and my perfectly normal hooves, and they panic! Saying something about 'me hurting myself doing dangerous stunts', and it hurts me too Darling, because I only rarely become completive let alone trying anything dangerous! Darling! I don't even enter the forest!" The other Rainbow sighed, and just started to leave, sobbing some more. "And now I sound like G!" She lamented. "Stop!!" Rainbow shrieked. "Please don't be sad, darling! I shall be leaving soon and when I see you hurt, it's like I'm hurting myself! And I don't wish to do that!" She said, with a sob. "I'll endeavor to do the best that I can, darling, to make you look good!" The other Rainbow simply fled out the door sobbing. "Just go away!" She shrieked. "Whatever do you suppose that was about, darling?" Rainbow asked Applejack, with a sigh. "Why don't you relax, an' go 'bout yer business!" Applejack said, with a frown. "I'll ask Rainbow what's crawled into her saddle." She continued, starting out the door. "Rainbow is normally the kindest pony y'all ever meet! But every once in a great while she gets some dang fool idea in her head." Applejack said, with a sigh, leaving through the door. ******** Instead of wasting your time showing Rainbow Dash and Pinkie going shopping for more stuff. How about we watch Twilight try to squink! Yes we can! "Ok Spike! Let's take it again from the top! Maybe you need to describe it like Rainbow Dash did!" Twilight said, looking slightly frazzled. "Relax Twi!" Spike said, with agitation. "what's the big deal!" Twilight snorted slightly. "The big deal is: we could be on the verge of a breakthrough in magic!" Twilight said, with enthusiasm. "Real, effective earth pony magic! Not just Earth Pony magic no better than a bag of fertilizer. Real, powerful Earth Pony magic." Spike shrugged. "And?" "And, what's more is that, it's a divination spell at least as powerful as our alicorn divine intuition, but so simple a thirteen year old Pinkie can cast it!" Twilight said, with stars in her eyes. "Think of the possibilities if I could master this spell!" Twilight said, starry-eyed -- just before she lost her confidence slightly, thinking on all her previous attempts that day. "Assuming I could only figure this out!" Spike simply shrugged. "you aren't going to be happy until I go ahead and act as narrator for your little attempt are you?" Twilight simply gave him a squee, and a huge smile. "Ok! Fine!" Spike sighed. "Let's do this!" He said, putting on his best accent. "What we need is a Twilight-a squink!" He said, deadpan, doing a really bad Mexicolt accent. "Is this part really necessary?" Twilight asked. "Well!" Spike responded. "You weren't sure why this was failing: so you wanted to do THE WHOLE BIT. So we're doing THE WHOLE BIT." "Ok!" Twilight moaned. "I'll do a think-a-squink!" She said, deadpan. "A squink?" Spike asked, for Madame le Flour, who had been kindly loaned by Twilight's Pinkie for just such an occasion. "Yeah It's Pinkie's Twilight's way of solving a problems!" He said resuming his 'Mexicolt' accent. "Here-a she goes!" "Is that my cue?" Twilight asked, looking puzzled. Spike simply repeated himself, looking very agitated. "Here-a she goes!" Twilight started bobbing back and forth, hopping between her two front hooves, her two back hooves firmly planted. Trying to wave her mane. Instead her mane ended up in her eyes, and when she tried to start turning around... well guess! "WH...WH...WHOA!!!!" She said, falling off camera. "When did we even install this basement!?" Coming back within view, she asked Spike a question. "Any stars?" Spike started to nod. "Other than the ones I'm seeing?" Twilight asked Spike shook his head. "Ok!" Twilight screamed. "Let's try again! From the top!" She said, shaking her head --her eyes slightly off kilter. "Here she goes." Spike said, in his normal voice deadpan. "With the accent!" Twilight responded, not sure what she was saying (maybe it was all the head trauma of falling down a couple of flights of stairs.) "Fine!" Spike groaned. "And here-a she goes!" He said, holding a claw to his mouth facing parallel to 'Madame le Flour'. Twilight once again did the bobbing motions, followed by a few quick spins (running around an invisible chair.) Before bending her front hooves slightly. "First-a Twilight squeeshes!" Spike said, in the faux accent, as Twilight's front hooves slipped slightly. "And then she splits!" He said, deadpan, looking at his older sister/mother figure doing a splits on her front hooves -- with her back legs extending parallel to her body, and her front legs at ninety degree angles to the plane of her body -- in a position that would be comfortable only for a biped. "Ouch!" He exclaimed quietly to himself. "Any luck?" Twilight asked, her voice much higher than normal. Spike simply shook his head! "RARRR!!!!!" Twilight shrieked, being heard all the way from outside. After a few minutes (and some ice), Twilight was ready to try again (it's good news alicorns are so durable, or that might have hurt!) "You sure you want to do this Twi?" Spike asked, with a sigh. "You're only going to be hurt again!" "No! Now it's personal!" Twilight hissed. "I'm going to do this even if it kills me!" She said, with determination. "Now start again!" Spike opened his mouth, and raised his claw. "With the accent!" Twilight hissed, before any words came out of the dragon's mouth." "Fine! Here-a she goes!" By this point Twilight had the first part memorized: the bobbing, the hair, the circles. "First-a Twilight squeeshes!" Spike said, watching Twilight take up the ludicrous position, before resuming the bobbing portion of the program. "Isn't something to supposed to happen right now?" Spike asked, with light sarcasm. "Quiet!" Twilight barked. "Fine!" Spike said deadpan. "Then-a she blinks!" Spike said, with 'the accent'. "Ahhhh!!! My eyes is stuck!!!!" Twilight said, her eye stuck in an exaggerated blinking position, and her head bent at an unnatural angle. "Ahhhh!!!! Spike help!!!" She shrieked, in mortal terror. "Ok!" Spike said, stifling a chuckle. "Ok this is going to hurt slightly!" He said, with a chuckle, grabbing her head with his claws. It's said, down in Ponyville, that the resulting scream could be heard all the way from Fluttershy's cottage. "Man!!! You stink at this!" Spike said, crying like a baby, feeling like he was on the verge of rolling on the floor with laughter. "Maybe we should --" He started, before being quickly interrupted by Twilight. "Accent!" Twilight barked. "Fine! Here-a she goes!" He said, deadpan, with a muffled sigh. The next part should be familiar by now. Twilight bobbed, and then spun. " First-a Twilight squeeshes!" Spike said, dead pan. Twilight resumed bobbing. "Then-a she blinks!" Spike said, waiting for catastrophe, when none came, Twilight resumed, bobbing, before turning to the side. "She might actually do this!" Spike thought to himself, with wonder. "And then-a she theenks!" He said, as Twilight stood, in a thinking position, her eyes closed. "Shouldn't there be sparkles or something? And like a giant pink thought bubble or something?" Spike asked himself, suspecting something. Twilight quickly shushed him. "It's happening! I can see it! The secret ingredient to Pinkie's award winning 'oh my goodness, it's extra sugar-rific fudge brownie cookies'!" Twilight said, in a state of denial. "It's vinegar! She adds it to all her recipes! And this is the part where she get's kidnapped by an anthropomorphic fox who's angry about her winning first place every year, while he only get's second!" She said, her denial becoming clear to all. "Umm Twi!" Spike said, alternating between concern, and raucous laughter. "I think you've picked up the wrong channel or something!" Somewhere in Canterlot a light roaring could be heard. "RARRRR!!!!!!!" "QUIET WE ART TRYING TO... HOW DO WE SAY THIS? SLEEEP" Luna barked, out her window. Meanwhile back in Ponyville. "I don't get it Spike!" Twilight moaned, from her bed. "I got everything perfect! I can learn spells simply by seeing them once!" She whined. "So why can't I figure out this stupid spell!" She said, burying her head in her pillow for a second. "Maybe it's like Changeling magic or something?" Spike said, speculating. "Unlikely Spike, Changeling magic is based on absorbing and redirecting emotional energy. That doesn't help with divination. And besides, if that were the case then I could still do it!" She said, feeling supremely confident. "I am after all, Mrs. Magic Pants!" She said, with pride. Spike shrugged. "Don't know then. Is it like chaos magic or something?"