Memoir of Misery

by Silvak


Chapter X: Cake

"P-Princess C-Celestia!" Sapphire squeaked out before gulping a bit. "W-what are you doing here? And... what happened to Sunny Skies?" Sapphire asked as she nervously looked around.

'Oh for the love of...' Veritas muttered before going silent for a brief moment. The silence soon stopped as she suddenly declared, 'You know what? I’ve had enough for today. Good luck with getting yourself out of this mess.'

Looking upon Sapphire with some amazement on her face, Celestia muttered, "You think..." before shaking her head clear of her current thought pattern as she returned her attention to Sapphire. "Sapphire, I'm here cause this is Canterlot Castle, where I rule Equestria from."

"You ruled from here, but but... Sunny told me she lives here!" Sapphire exclaimed as she started to back away from Celestia, who was giving her a flat look.

"Sapphire, Sunny Skies was a disguise that I was using when I don't want to attract too much attention," Celestia explained, before a small smile graced her muzzle. She then walked over to Sapphire, placing a hoof on her shoulder as she said, "And there's no reason to be afraid. I know that our first interaction wasn't... ideal, but I do apologize for upsetting you, it wasn't my intention. I was just concerned about my student's safety, and I might have gone a bit far in regards to you."

Gazing at Celestia's larger size with fear still apparent in her eyes, Sapphire shivered a bit despite what Celestia just said as she asked, "But... then why am I here, Princess?"

Shaking her head in amusement, Celestia answered, "Relax Sapphire, for you're not in trouble. In fact, I only brought you to the castle because I wish to help you," which caused Sapphire's shiver to come to an end as she looked at Celestia with a surprised expression. "For you see, my sister Luna has been talking about her endeavors of restoring your memory. And so, upon finding you today, I thought to bring you to the castle so I can see if I could aid you, as my means of compensating you for the horrible day I caused you to have," Celestia continued with her smile fading away as she reached the end of her explanation as she took her hoof off her shoulder.

"Okay... wait, so you put on a disguise and went into a donut shop just to pick me up and bring me to the castle?" Sapphire asked as she tilted her head in confusion.

"Oh no, I was just on my weekly donut break. You just being there was a lucky coincidence," Celestia stated with a smile before placing a wing around Sapphire, spooking her for a bit. Seeing this, she briefly placed her hoof on Sapphire's shoulder again to calm her down. "Still, I promised you a meal that you will never forget, and if what you claimed about yourself to be true, I'm fairly certain that you would enjoy what I have to say. Have you ever tried a five layered, chocolate covered vanilla cake with strawberries on top?" Celestia asked, causing Sapphire's eyes to widen with wonder, prompting her to chuckle as she started to lead Sapphire down the hallway.


"Seriously... a five layered cake? What are you thinking, Aunty Tia? You know you have a daily limit on the number of pastries you can eat," Cadance muttered to herself as she walked up to the dining room doors, briefly summoning a mirror so she could look at her pink coated self for any stray hair out of place before nodding in satisfaction. Lighting up her horn, she engulfed the doors in a light blue aura before forcing them open with enough force to slam into the walls.  She then began her trek inside, rearing up as she pointed a hoof into the room, shouting, "Aunty Tia, how could you... you..." only to stop upon seeing the sight of Celestia and Sapphire looking at her with confused expressions from their seats apart from one another on the massive dining room table. Sapphire's expression held a bit of fear however, along with her cheeks being stuffed with cake. In front of Celestia was a single untouched slice of cake, while in front of Sapphire was a half-eaten cake.

"Cadance my dear, is something the matter?" Celestia asked as Sapphire swallowed down the cake in her mouth before hopping off the chair to give Cadance a bow.

"Umm... well I... I heard that you had some of the castle staff bring up one of your larger cakes from your cake stash... which led me to believe that you were going over your weekly cake quota. And, Aunty, who is this mare?" Cadance asked as she turned her attention to Sapphire while lowering her hoof down. Sapphire quickly noticed this and promptly lowered her head to the point that her muzzle was just barely above the floor. "Umm... you don't have to bow anymore... whoever you are."

As Sapphire jerked her head up, Celestia rolled her eyes as she answered, "Cadance, this is Sapphire Rain, a resident of Ponyville who happened to be a friend of Twilight's. And before you ask, I ordered this cake just for Sapphire to enjoy."

Raising an eyebrow, Cadance said, "Aunty, do you honestly expect me to believe that this entire cake, minus the slice that you have right before you, is for this one mare to consume on her own?"

Letting out a sigh, Celestia replied, "I know that you would find this hard to believe, but this cake is indeed for Sapphire to enjoy. Though... I will admit that I'm rather perturbed at just how much she can eat at one sitting. I'm starting to wonder if Sapphire is some lost wonder of the world."

"Aunty, do you honestly think I will fall for that? I mean, look at her," Cadance retorted as she lit her horn with her magic, engulfing Sapphire with its aura as she lifted her into the air. "Look at her! With what is missing from the cake, she is bound to have some kind of gut showing," Cadance stated as she pointed a hoof at Sapphire's belly.

"Umm... can you put me down now please?" Sapphire asked as she blinked in surprise at what was happening, causing Cadance to blush as she lowered the mare down.

Letting out another sigh, Celestia responded, "Cadance dear, how about you sit by my side and watch for a moment. I promise that you will see what I mean in a moment."

Frowning, Cadance walked over to Celestia's side, taking a seat on one of the open chairs as she said, "Fine Aunty, I'll humor you this one time. But mark my words, you're not going to get away from this that easily."


"Oh sweet Celestia, how is this even possible?!"

"Don't look to me for answers. I'm still trying to figure out if she's actually the god of gluttony or somehow possesses a black hole in her stomach," Celestia stated as she and Cadance stared at Sapphire while she ate the last bites of the cake that was before her. Pushing the untouched slice of cake in front of Cadance with one of her forehooves, Celestia said, "You can have this. I don't think I'll be eating any cake for the rest of the day."

Pushing the slice of cake back in front of Celestia with her magic, Cadance replied, "No thank you. I don't think I'll be having any cake for at least a week, if not a month."

"If you two aren't going to eat that slice of cake, can I have it then?" Sapphire asked as the two alicorns felt their left eye twitching in perfect sync.

"Go ahead Sapphire," Celestia simply responded as she pushed the cake in front of Sapphire, who promptly gave her a thankful smile before sinking her fork into the slice.

Blinking a bit, Cadance shook her head for a bit before rearing up onto the table, pointing a hoof at Sapphire as she said, "Wait a minute, I know you!"

Pausing as she held the entire slice on her floating fork, Sapphire blinked as she asked, "What do you mean? I don't recall ever meeting you before..."

"Well, we actually never met, but I have seen pictures of you in the latest issue of Manehatten Mares. You're that rising model that so many mares wish they could have your figure. But how are you able to do that after consuming so much cake?! What is your secret? Is it some kind of spell?" Cadance replied, leaning over the table as Sapphire leaned back, even though the table was ten feet wide.

"I... don't know? I just eat whatever I want, and I don't put on any pounds. Twilight thinks that I have a really fast metabolism," Sapphire said with a shrug before stuffing the cake into her mouth.

"But I... that doesn't make... how in the world..." Cadance said as her head tilted to her the side. It soon straightened back when Celestia tapped her shoulder with the tips of her wing.

"Excuse us for a moment Sapphire, there is something that I need to discuss with my niece for the moment," Celestia stated as she got up and started heading out of the room through the same entrance that Cadance came in. Said mare followed Celestia in confusion, closing the doors behind them once they had gotten out.

"...What is so weird about me having all that food? I already explained to them what Twilight said to me..." Sapphire muttered to herself as she pushed herself away from the table before looking down at her belly, where she prodded it with a hoof. "Is it really that hard to believe that I can eat all that food without getting a gut?"

Suddenly, the doors opposite of the ones the two alicorns had left in opened, revealing two guards that were pushing the doors open. Behind them was a white stallion with a blond mane, wearing a blue tie and some kind of collar around his neck. He then spoke up as he walked inside, "Auntie, I must speak to you about your..." before drifting off as he looked upon Sapphire, who returned the look with a confused stare. After a moment of shared staring, the stallion took on a grin that caused Sapphire to flinch as he then said, "Well well well, what do we have here?" before he started to trot over to Sapphire, stopping right before her as he then grabbed her hoof, bringing it up to his lips as he kissed it. As Sapphire's eyes widened in surprise, the stallion lowered her hoof down as he said, "My dear mare, you should count yourself fortunate that I, Prince Blueblood the Nineteenth, have graced you with my presence," as he winked at her.

Blinking in surprise, Sapphire could only stare at the stallion before her as she thought to herself, '...Why do I feel like I should jump out the nearest window?'