Never

by shortskirtsandexplosions

XIV

Celestia's eyes were shut. A billowing wind blew at the duller shades of her mane. With a deep breath, she tilted her head back and pursed her lips. Slowly, her wings folded out, and the tips of her alabaster feathers glowed hotter and hotter.

At that very moment, the eastern horizon burned ahead of the Dawnmist. The morning sun rose over rolling, dew-laden hills as the airship finally entered the green kingdom of Equestria.

Celestia's body relaxed as she exhaled upon the completion of her task. As the glow of her horn dissipated, Luna was revealed to be standing right beside her.

“You always make it look so much more graceful when you do it.”

Celestia calmly smiled, her eyes still closed. “Please, sister. I only put on a show at each year's Celebration.”

“You may fool the common masses with that false humility, but not me,” Luna said with the barest hint of a smirk. “Every morning is a celebration when you shine light on it.” She exhaled softly. “I wished I could say the same for your every waking hour.”

Celestia's eyes opened thinly. She gazed lonesomely at the rolling green hills below the ship. “Dearest sister...”

“Yes, Celestia?”

“I did read the letters before we set course for Appleloosa,” she said.

Luna was silent for a moment. Eventually, she shuffled until she squatted directly beside her elder. “Did you, now?”

“I've never forsaken a chance to read any of those parchments,” Celestia said. “Does that surprise you?”

“As a matter of fact, no,” Luna said. “However, after all these years, I've known better than to expect you to respond to them.”

“Why is that?”

“You are asking me, sister?”

“Yes, I am.” Celestia looked directly at her. “Why, do you think, have I continued to do what I do, even after your return?”

“Do you want an honest answer?”

“Absolutely.”

“You've been afraid.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Afraid?”

“Indeed.”

“We are immortal, Luna. How can we possibly be afraid?”

“Quite easily,” Luna said, staring fearlessly into the sun's brilliant glow. “Fear, after all, is merely a different shade of loneliness.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I... have been afraid for a terribly long time.”

Celestia looked away, her face pale. “I know, sister...”

“But...” Luna reopened her eyes and gazed warmly at her again. “I fear you have been lonely much longer than I.”

“How could you possibly say that?”

“The rosy shade of banishment, Celestia, is that it at least has a name,” Luna said.

Celestia's eyes reflected the glimmer of the sun as she said, “I am starting to think that Father was afraid too, when he left us. If only he had known that we could have alleviated that fear... if only he had the faith to be with us longer.”

“Do you think he could afford to?” Luna remarked.

Celestia sighed. “I don't know, Luna.” Her jaw tightened as she suddenly stood up. “But I'm starting to learn just what I can afford.”

Luna watched curiously as Celestia marched towards the front of the ship. She got up for a better look. Soon, the elder Princess was approaching the Admiral and her helmspony.

“Admiral—” Celestia began.

“Ah! Your Highness!” The orange pegasus' armor rattled as she trotted over and bowed. “Great timing! We should be approaching Canterlot airspace soon—”

“Admiral Scootaloo,” Celestia said forcefully.

The Admiral froze in mid-speech. She gazed up at the Princess, blinking curiously. “Y-your Majesty?”

“Adjust your course. The Dawnmist is heading south.”

“S-south, your Highness?”

“Swiftly, please. Time is of the essence.”

Admiral Scootaloo jolted where she stood. The old mare saluted with a graying hoof. “Aye, Princess!” She turned around and shouted several commands to the crew on deck. Ponies and guards scuffled all around.

Luna marched up, watching the hustle and bustle as the ship veered hard to starboard. She gazed up at her sister. Celestia said nothing. She merely stood still, watching as the burning horizon spun around them.

Hours passed. The Princess' sun rose high in the sky.

The Dawnmist's shadow coasted over hills, trees, rivers, and finally a sea of golden-thatched roofs. A quaint village stretched beneath the vessel as it slowly descended into a green field beyond.

When the Dawnmist made anchorage, Celestia flew to the earth. Her hooves touched down on springy grass. As soon as she folded her wings, she gazed ahead to see an enormous crowd of ponies gathered in the center of the village's downtown. They were all holding candles as they stood about, humming an ancient hymn. When Celestia trotted past them, they each bowed in succession, but they gave no speech. She was not the spirit whom they were honoring that day, and she couldn't even think of protesting it.

She made straightway for the heart of the village. In the center, a gigantic stone tower stood. It was a fantastic sight, for at random intervals along its cylindrical height a dazzling array of leafy branches were sticking out, as if the granite structure had been magically grown out of the natural body of an ancient tree.

The crowd was thickest here, gathering in a thick circle of silent reverence as they all faced the tower. Only in one spot did the mass of ponies break up, and it was to make room for a gigantic purple dragon who stood as tall as the tower itself. Upon sight of Celestia's approach, his green eye-slits widened. He bowed with as much space as was afforded him, murmuring in a booming voice, “Your Majesty...”

“Spike...” She merely nodded her horn in his direction. Solemnly, she approached the door to the tower. Spike reached over and opened it for her. She gently touched his scaled wrist, shared a mutual glance, and disappeared into the body of the structure.

Celestia's hooves echoed as she marched up the winding stairway. All around her, shelves and stacks of books stretched along the walls of the building's interior. Several ancient artifacts, magical relics, and marvelous inventions hung from silken strings. Maps and globes and illustrations of faraway lands dotted the walls. The further Celestia ascended the steps, the walls glossed over instead with photographs of ponies, dear friends who aged gracefully one frame at a time, diminishing in number upon each progressive flight of the stairs.

Through a final door, Celestia marched, until she entered a domed chamber at the very top of the tower. A doctor was there; his face was grave. A few elder mares stood along the edges of the room. A large window stretched open, through which Spike silently peered from the outside. In the center of the luxurious dwelling was a bed of velvet cushions, beside which a frail orange farm mare stood. She turned to look at Celestia—and immediately gasped, lowering her brown hat.

“Heavens to Betsy,” she exhaled, her frail form jittering. “Yer Highness...”

“At ease, Applejack,” Celestia spoke. She smiled and placed a gentle hoof on the earth pony's shoulder. “Am I too late?”

Applejack's wrinkled face smiled dearly. Her green eyes watered as she shook her head. “No. I reckon there's still time. Not much, but just enough.”

“I'm sorry that I did not reply to the letters.”

“Don't sweat it, yer Majesty...” Applejack's voice lingered. She swallowed for composure as a tear streaked down her face. “She... She would very much like to see you...”

“She is not alone,” Celestia said. She took the bravest breath of her immortal existence and slowly brushed past Applejack. She approached the bed, her eyes searching the purple cushions, until she was pained to see a wrinkled shape in the center of them that was barely stirring. She smiled regardless, bringing a glow to the room, both warm and pale all at once. “My good and faithful student...”

“Pr-Princess Celestia...” A smile shone back, one that was laced with dust and gray wrinkles. Most of her mane was gone. Her eyes were sunken in. She shivered constantly, her hooves curled inward like that of a little foal's. “I... I had hoped that I would see you again, your Highness. But... But I thought...”

“Shhh...” Celestia squatted down on folded legs and brushed the unicorn's shivering cheek. “Eternity is full of thoughts, dear Twilight. Do not question the power of what we must feel...”

Twilight Sparkle wheezed. Her glossy eyes reflected the lengths of the room around her, laced with every manuscript and treatise she had ever gifted Equestria. “I... I wanted to see you... I wanted to thank you...”

“Thank me, Twilight?” Celestia breathed.

“You... You have given me so much,” Twilight said. “You have shown me the power of friendship, the love of one's peers, the lengths to which magic can fill lives with meaning and purpose.” She sputtered, coughed, and struggled to speak through clenched teeth. “I can understand now why you had to let me go...”

“Twilight...” Celestia stroked her cheek lovingly. “The reason I let you go was because I was afraid. I feared that you would not understand, and that you would not be thanking me like you are now.”

Twilight's moist eyes twitched and quivered. “How... How could I not thank you?” Her lips briefly spat, and she almost had to blurt out, “I love you. I always have...”

“And I always will,” Celestia cooed. “Forever and ever.”

Twilight smiled. Just then, her body started to spasm. Her eyes rolled back as she clenched her jaws tight.

Applejack flinched. Outside the window, Spike's face turned white.

“Twilight...” Celestia leaned closer and held the dying unicorn's face in her hooves. “Can you hear me...?”

“I c-can hear you...” Twilight whimpered. “But I can't see you.” She gulped hard as the spasms grew harder. “Ohhhh, after all my years of learning...” She moaned. “It's so dark. It's so dark, Princess. Where is the light? I-I can't see...”

“Shhhhh...” Celestia leaned over and nuzzled Twilight before kissing her on the forehead. She breathed into her ear. “You are the light. Go forth and sparkle, my good and faithful student.”

Twilight heaved, heaved... and smiled. Her tears trickled into Celestia's hooves, and her limp face followed them. She lay still on the bed as a gentle breeze fluttered through the room, and then settled.

Applejack sniffled. She hugged her hat to her chest while hanging her head. A gentle sob rose through the ponies in attendance as Spike covered his face with a shaking hand outside.

As for Celestia, she embraced Twilight's body with her wings and held her close. If she was crying, nopony could see through the glow her horn was giving off, announcing the passage of a sorcerer supreme to the rest of Ponyville below.

That night, as the melting sun set on a mourning Equestria, Ponyville responded with a dazzling light of its own.

Ponies with candles gathered around a field as Twilight's burning body was lifted by a burgundy balloon high up into the air. Across the fields of the kingdom that stretched beyond, several identical lights rose in the somber air. With the death of something beautiful there was born a legacy as equally glorious. The villagers of Ponyville anointed the moment with a warm hymn, filling the air with a vibrant life not unlike the electricity that had hung low at the dawn of time.

Princess Celestia and Luna watched it all from the deck of the Dawnmist. Above and around them, lights glittered as the memory of Twilight Sparkle's existence was celebrated across the face of the globe.

Celestia was calm, meditative, as resolute and regal as ever. She barely stirred, even as Luna leaned in and gently spoke.

“Spike told me how things proceeded,” she said. “I always said that you were capable of raising more than the sun, beloved sister.”

“I only wish more things in this world came back at dawn,” Celestia quietly replied.

Luna gazed at her sympathetically. “Do you feel regret, Celestia?”

“I will always regret,” Celestia said, gazing at the balloon. Twilight's ashes turned to bright embers and flew magically into the wind. “As I will always live.”

“Father would be proud of how strong you've become,” Luna said.

“He would be proud of both of us, but not for our strength, dear sister,” Celestia said, her eyes rising to meet the countless stars above. “He was right when he told us that there will always be magic. What he neglected to mention is that there will always be pain. That is something we had to learn on our own. Perhaps he knew that from the beginning.”

“Could that be why he left us?” Luna asked.

“If it is, then I might finally understand his reasoning... as well as his folly.”

“Sister...?”

Celestia swallowed gently and said, “All this time, I thought I was doing the right thing by cutting ties with my mortal apprentices. Only now, after so many millennia, I realize that the only way to maintain harmony and order among our subjects is to cut ties with ourselves. It is our burden to bear as immortals, after all. We must let our subjects experience the glory that can be gained in the brief fragility that is life. If they are to die, it is only right that we die with them, little by little, so that we can come to understand what it's like to be such precious vignettes of beauty. Maybe then, in the grand purview of so many impossible friendships, we'll finally learn where the magic is taking us at the end of all things.”

Luna bore a painful smile, gazing at the lights populating the dark skies of the endless horizon surrounding them. “I used to believe that there was another way,” she softly said. “That life could somehow be rid of both magic and pain, that all of the nightmares and darkness of uncertainty could be absorbed through a simple channel. My assumptions only caused this world even more heartache. Alas, it took me a thousand years to learn the truth you now know, dear sister.”

Celestia nodded. “And it's taken me twelve thousand,” she said somberly. She gazed over at Luna. She leaned over and nuzzled her lovingly.

Luna warmly returned the gesture, rubbing her cheek against Celestia's slender neck. With a shuddering breath, she gazed at all the lights and spoke. “I must raise the moon soon...”

“Yes,” Celestia whispered, still nuzzling her younger half. “As is your duty.”

“And what about your duty?” Luna returned.

Celestia took a deep breath. She stood up. “I know what it is, dear sister.” She trotted off, and as she did so, Luna could only smile.

Celestia approached the royal cabins of the Dawnmist. Along the way, she passed by a grave-looking pegasus.

“Your Majesty,” the Admiral turned towards Celestia and bowed. “Are... are you retiring for the night?”

“More or less. You're relieved of duty for the next three months, Admiral,” Celestia firmly said.

The old mare did a double-take. She took her helmet off and rubbed her violet eyes before blinking them crookedly. “Your Highness? I-I don't understand! Have... Have I transgressed?”

“Nothing of the sort.” Celestia paused by the door. “You are to take an extended leave. Go and be with your family.”

“But... But Princess! I have a duty to serve and protect you in all times, no matter how—”

“Go home, Scootaloo.” Celestia turned. She smiled sweetly. “Be with friends and family. Be with those who love you. I shall call upon your most esteemed services when they are desired, and I will expect you not to be tardy.”

Scootaloo's wrinkled face slowly warmed. Her eyes glistened as she tilted her head forward. “Thank you, your Majesty...” She trotted off and fluttered her wings to join the crowd honoring Twilight's presence.

Celestia entered the cabin. She found Nova Star standing at the head of the bed, peering out through the Dawnmist's windows at all of the lights and burning candles.

“Princess! Princess!” He exclaimed, trembling with excitement. “Something's happening outside! It looks like some sort of celebration!”

“Young one, what are you doing standing up?” Celestia gently chided. “I do not think you have yet properly recovered from your long ordeal in the desert.”

He immediately squatted down on the bed, reeling slightly with dizziness but trying his best to hide it. “I just... I just wanted to know what was going on outside.”

“It is only the first day of remembrance. It will last into the next two days, as it did for Starswirl the Bearded.” Celestia sat down beside the bed. Her eyes darted left and right as she thought hard, then eventually said, “Most definitely, I will show you the sights tomorrow.”

“You... You will?” Nova Star blinked wide, his tail flicking. “But... But I thought you were gonna take me to Canterlot. I thought you were gonna find me a new foster home where ponies won't make fun of me for burning stuff.”

“Mmmm... Indeed.” She took a deep breath and smiled at him. “But one thing at a time, dear student. It would be best that we got your body as well as your mind properly nourished.”

“Well, I guess so, but—” He stopped in mid-speech, his face scrunching. “Uhm... Princess?”

“Yes, Nova?”

“Did... Did you just call me 'student?'”

“Why? Would you rather I call you something else?”

His mouth hung agape as his eyes narrowed. “I... I don't understand...”

“Would you like to understand, Nova Star?” She lowered her face down to stare squarely at him. “Would you like to see the sights and colors of this world? Would you like to explore the horizons of knowledge and the limitless beauty of magic?”

“I... I...” He gulped. “Well, sure! If it means learning all about sorcery and the world and... and...” He bit his lip. “But... But how?”

She reached a hoof out and brushed his mane lovingly. Her eyes were moist, but the warmth of her smile melted any tears away. “I can show you.”

“Show me...?”

“I can help you master your magic skills. I can help you become the most powerful and majestic sorcerer this age will ever know.” She took a shuddering breath and added, “I can help you find love, friendship, and a place to call home... if you would let me...”

His lips quivered. Tears started to form in the corners of his eyes. “Your... Your Majesty...” He hiccuped back a sob and hugged himself. “I... I don't know what to say...”

“Say what you feel. Say everything you hate, everything you love, everything you're afraid of, everything you look forward to,” she said. “Share it all with me, so that as you learn about the blessings in life, I may also learn, and be blessed too.”

He smiled. It was as painful as it was relieving. He sniffled and ran a hoof across his moist cheek. “You mean... You mean you're not going to leave me? You're not going to just dr-drop me off somewhere and go away?”

“Oh Nova Star...”

She reached over and scooped his tiny, happy body into her forelimbs. Her eyes closed as she nuzzled him dearly, as if embracing a sunrise just at the tail end of another day's righteous death.

“Never.”