//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Call of the Casting // Story: Lights, Camera... // by Smoking Gun //------------------------------// Chapter 3: Call of the Casting “This is our chance, Crusaders!” The official clubhouse of the cutie mark Crusaders wasn’t new to schemes and plots and Applebloom’s latest proposition was no different. Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo leaned in on the promotional poster for the Super-Stallion movie that was being handed out at the casting conference the day before. The poster was a minimalist but colourful drawing of a Pegasus, in the Super-Stallion outfit, soaring through the air. On the top of the poster, the text was ‘From the director of ‘The Sisterhood Social Network’ and ‘War Pony’ comes….’ At the bottom of the poster, it simply had the Super-Stallion logo. “No chance!” Sweetie Bell knocking the poster away from her and Scootaloo. “Remember what happened the last time we tried putting on a production? We were called ‘The comedy hit of the season.’ “Sweetie Bell’s right.” Scootaloo was usually the most adventurous of the Crusaders, taking after her idol; Rainbow Dash. Unfortunately, she remembered their performance at the school talent show just as vividly as the next pony. Applebloom hoped off her chair and picked up the poster. “Ah reckon yall just need a new perspective.” Applebloom proceeded to put the poster up on the wall, next to all the photos of the Crusaders doing what they do best; try to find their cutie marks. The pictures all had one thing in common; no cutie mark as a result. Although tree sap was a recurring theme. “Ma big sis told me that somepony can still be good at something, even if they aint good at it the first time.” The other Crusaders stared at Applebloom, failing to comprehend what she just said. “There are words coming out of your mouth, but they fail to make sense.” Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell had come to believe that when a pony discovers their talent, it would be instantaneous. It just didn’t sound right; getting better at something as you go. Or maybe they were just choosing not to understand, realizing that if Applebloom is right, they would be obligated to go through all their old schemes again. “Think about it; if we find a way to join in this movie someway, we’ll have an entire town helpin’ us out.” The crew had started building set pieces earlier that day. Practically, all the carpenters in Ponyville had showed up to lend a hand. “We’ve got a director that’s been doin’ this for a while, maybe we could get him to show us how it’s done.” Sweetie Bell suddenly clicked. “Are you saying-?” “Eeeyup!” “CUTIE MARK CRUSADER FILM MAKERS!” The battle cry of the Crusaders was absent one voice. “Thanks, but no thanks.” “Aww, come on Scootaloo” Sweetie Bell pleaded. “We could be the biggest movie makers of all time. Imagine having celluloid as a cutie mark.” “Making movies is fine. But look at the poster and tell me what you see.” The other Crusaders examine the poster again. “Images?” “Super-Stallion!” Scootaloo said with a sigh. “What’s wrong with that?” Applebloom and Sweet Bell didn’t grow up with the Stallion of Steel, but it was hard not to know he was. Too bad there isn’t a cutie mark for that. “He a comic book. Blah!” Scootaloo made a rather unbecoming gesture of putting her hoof down her throat. “Comic books are for nerds. They’re like… the egg heads of egg heads!” Applebloom and Sweetie Bell just looked at each other in confusion. “Scoot, don’t you know that-?” “I don’t want to know anything about this. I’ve got better things to do then read on the internet about movies for dorks.” Scootaloo Crossed her hoofs as she looked away from the poster. “You want to know nothing about this?” Ask Applebloom. “Nnnope” Sweetie Bell just smirked. “So I guess you don’t want to know that Rainbow Dash is involved. … “What?” “Oh yeah” interjected Applebloom. “In fact, ah do recall something about her playin’ the leading mare. But you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with--- Scootaloo?” Sweetie and Applebloom looked around the clubhouse, only to realize that Scootaloo was no longer there, only the door to the clubhouse flapping in the wind. The two poked their heads out the door to find Scootaloo on her scooter. Attached to the scooter, was a wagon that the other two would often ride in. “Get your blank-flanks down here!” “I insist you reconsider darling.” Rarity pleaded to Twilight as she continued to reorganize the books around the library. “Doing it would be fun, but it would be so much more fun if you would just buck up and accept Refined Taste’s offer.” Twilight took a break from the books and turned back to Rarity, looking exasperated. “I’m sorry Rarity, but I just don’t want to do it.” “But why not?” “Because I’m a librarian, not an actress.” Twilight seemed extra agitated with that last comment. “Neither am I darling. But we’ve been given an offer. It’s not like we’ve had much else to do.” “That doesn’t mean we should just jump at the first thing that comes our way.” “I hope I’m not interrupting.” Twilight and Rarity find Refined Taste standing in the door way. “You have a habit of showing up ponies doorways, don’t you?” Refined Taste invited herself in. “I make a point on following up on ponies I leave with offers. Have you considered it?” “I can’t speak for my friend. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to dec-“ Before Twilight could finish, Rarity was quick to run up behind her and put her hoof around her mouth. “Haha, you’ll have to excuse my friend. She’s new to showbiz and doesn’t know that when someone offers you immortality, you say yes.” Rarity was sure to dictate the last part of that sentence to her purple captive. Teleporting out of Rarity’s grip, Twilight recomposed herself. “Sorry to disappoint you Miss Taste, but I just don’t really feel comfterble acting.” Refined Taste was now on her knees in front of Twilight. “Please! You must! We’ve tried other mares for the role and they were all… well…” “Okay Miss Hooves, let’s try it again.” In the Refined Taste’s trailer, a grey Pegasus, with a yellow mane and wall eyes was standing before her, examining the script. She cleared her throat with a cough before reading. “Verily I’d be-“ “Stop! This a superhero movie Miss Hooves. Who gave you a Shakespeare script?” “You’re making a movie?” “I’m sorry Refined, but that’s my final answer.” Refined Taste hung her head as she walked to the door. “Well, it’s just, the character that you’d be playing; Meekly, you’d be perfect for-“ “Yeah, I… I did my research on her. I’m sorry.” “If you do change your mind, come find me.” Refined Taste closed the door behind her. “Well, I on the other hand will gladly take the offer.” Rarity said that almost as though she was trying to inject some guilt into Twilight. “A shocking development, I’m sure.” Following in Refined’s steps, Rarity headed out the door. “Darling, ever since the wedding, we’ve barely seen you outside of this library. I’m just saying; getting outside your comfort zone every now-and-then wouldn’t hurt.” Using her magic, Rarity closed the door behind her. “Spike!” As always, Spike came quickly to her calls, with a quill and scroll in hand. “Take a letter.” Spike was ready. Dear Princess Celestia, I’ve been meaning to ask you a question; why did you bring the Super-Stallion movie to Ponyville? The people working on the movie aren’t very nice, it’s beginning to bring out the worst in my friends and now they want me to get involved. I know I can’t rely on you for advice every step in the way, but your guidance would be greatly appreciated. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle. Before Twilight could resume her duties, Spike had already coughed up her response. My faithful student, Twilight, What else do you have to do? “Stop! Just stop!” Final Cut has gotten used to yelling with his crew from all his years of experience, but there was something about this that may have cracked him. “I don’t want any more damage then you’ve already caused!” A grey and yellow Pegasus stood with complexion in front of the city set that had been constructed. The city looked like a battlefield, with buildings that had crumbled to the ground. If this was the climax they were about to shoot, that would be fine. “I’m sorry sir. I don’t know what went wrong.” “I told you to plant flowers in the garden. How did this happen?” Feeling another aneurism coming on, he knew he had to act quick. “Just… just go to the crafts services table.” “Muffins!” Derpy soared to the platter of muffins laid out before her. So many choices to choose from. “Surprise!” A pinkie pony busted through the door, knocking Final Cut a good few feet back. “Get of your back silly. You’ve got a party to get ready for!” “Not one of you freaks..” “Yep. Pinkie Pie, professional party freak at your service.” Pinkie gave a little curtsie while Final Cut tried his best to run away, only for Pinkie to reappear right in front of him. “If you’re gonna be making the biggest bestest movie ever, we need to throw the biggest, bestest bash ever! And then when the movies done, we’ll throw another one.” Just think about it, an entire evening with Ponyville’s ‘best and brightest.’ It’s enough to make you want to drown yourself in Cider. “Thanks, but no thanks. My crew is very busy and they won’t have time to-“ “Oh, they already RSVP’ed.” Final Cut shot around to find most of the crew were standing around, discussion party invitations that were draped in confetti. “Plus; it wouldn’t be much of a party with the guest of honour.” Those words made a little bit of Final’s soul die, being surrounded by the freaks show known as Ponyville, giving him all of their attention. Before he could refuse, Pinkie had already left, leaving behind his personal invitation. “This day is about to get worse in 3…2…1." “Mister Director, meet your new crew!” Final Cut looked around, to find no one standing by him. “Down here sir.” Final Cut looked down to find the crusaders standing right in front of him, looking up at him with their disgustingly cute smiles. “Girls, I don’t know how everypony seems to be getting past security, but I don’t have time to-“ “That’s exactly why we’re here.” Interjected Scootaloo. “We know how busy you are, so we came here to be your personal film making apprentices. “…What?” Applebloom stepped forward. “We are the cutie mark Crusaders! And we are here to work our flanks off so we can put something on them. We’re Ponyille’s best and brightest. You won’t be disappointed." … “Hehe.. hehehe… hahahahHAHAHAHAHAHHA!” Anypony within ear shot, could hear a faint snapping sound from Final Cut’s head. “Maybe comedy really is our bag, girls” Scootaloo was having flashbacks to the talent show again. Final Cut stopped laughing, just long enough for a mad man’s grin to extend over his face. “Oh it must be, ‘cause let me tell you something; that is the funniest thing I’ve heard since I came to this backwards plot, mud hole of a town!” The Crusaders didn’t know what ‘backwards plot’ meant thankfully. “I’m working with adults, who can barely plant a garden, a casting director who will cast anyone, except actors and I’ve got to deal with the ‘heroeins of equestria’ who so far have brought me nothing but wasted time and a dagger to put in my career! What makes you think I… what makes you think anyone would want to deal with you juvenile, talentless, worthless little punks?!” While the speech went on, the Crusaders backed away, little tears rolling down their faces all the way. Before Final Cut could personally kick them out, he looked up to find his crew awkwardly walking away, doing their best not to make eye contact. Sweetie Bell raise her hoof. “Mister Cut… you’ve got a little nose bleed.” In all his career, Final Cut had never had a nose bleed, and these little kids had broken him? He wiped his face and ran off. “I need a drink.” “How did I know this would happen?” Refined Taste had seen the whole thing from her trailer. She then saw the Crusaders slowly track away, hanging their heads in shame. When she walked away from the window, she heard a knock at the door. Opening it, she found a purple unicorn. “May I come in Miss Taste?” “Sure.” Twilight came in, closing the door behind her. “I’m sorry you had to see all that.” “Me too.” “So… what brings you to our little slice of heaven?” “I’ll do it.” Taste’s eyes beamed. “Really? Fantastic! We’ll have to get the contracts for you.” Refined ran around the room, looking for her contracts. “I appreciate this opportunity Taste, but I just don’t see why you need this… particular character.” Twilight awkwardly rubbed her hoof into the wooden floor. “She seems somewhat unnecessary with Rainbow Dash’s character around.” “That’s exactly the point Twilight. You’re the alternative love-interest.” Twilight’s research hadn’t brought much to light as she would have hoped, but the character she had been offered to play; Meekly was a love interest from the Super-Stallion comics, but only when Sweet Wings wasn’t around, her occupation; librarian. “Fillies eat up that sappy, love triangle stuff. I promise, it’ll be fun.” Refined placed the contract in front of Twilight. She couldn’t help but get the feeling she was signing away more than her free time, but that didn’t stop her. “They drive me to drink” Final Cut said as he finished the last swig of his cider. Next to Sweet Apple Acers, there was a smaller building built right next to it; a cider bar. The interior was warm and welcoming, despite that Final Cut was the only customer in it at the time. On the opposite side of the bar, was Big Mac, cleaning all the used mugs. “Eeeyup.” “When the Princess gave me this assignment, she neglected to mention that all these ponies were crazy!” He began to feel the depression coming on. “And that it makes you worse then you know you are.” “Eeeyup." “I mean… how do you deal with these nut cases? They think they’re doing the right thing. But it’s beginning to be too much. Like it’s weighing me down.” “Eeeyup.” “Wait a minute. I see what you’re getting at there. It’s like my movie, Law Abiding Pony; give into the madness. If I just go with them and suck it in without letting it get to me, I can get through all this. And who knows, maybe not all of them will make me want to run off into the Everfree forest.” “Eeeyup.” It was fairly clear to Big Mac that Final Cut was drunk. “You… I like you.” Cut heard the door open, only to find a sad looking Applebloom. She took a seat next to the director. “Enjoying the Cider sir?” “Yeah… it’s good stuff.” “Thanks, Ah helped make it.” “Huh? Well… it’s good. Be proud.” Neither of them were in the best of spirits, but neither were most people who drank alone. “Mr Cut, Ah'm sorry about-“ Cut raised his hoof before she could finish. “Don’t even think about finishing that sentence. I exploded on you and your friends. What kind of colt does that?” “An angry one?” Cut couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s… that’s true I suppose.” He rubbed her main. “Maybe you Ponyville folk aren’t quite as horrible as I thought.” Applebloom beamed. “Glad I could help!” Cut finished his drink. “There’s still no chance in Tartarous that I’m letting your sister get her apples in the movie.” “Yeah, Ah’d probably do the same if I were you.” Cut chuckled as he began to walk away. “Maybe I should have you deal with these people for me. I… I could use some help.” “Does that mean you'll take the Crusaders as your apperentices?” “I’ll… take it into consideration.” “Yes!” Applebloom proceeded to do a jig on the table. Final Cut laughed as he stepped out the door. “Wait mister! Where yall going?” Cut turned back to her with a smile on his face. “I don’t want to be late to my own party.” Next: All the Weirdos in the World...