//------------------------------//
// 07: Turning Back to the Future 
// Story: Being Juniper Montage 
// by Bookish Delight 
//------------------------------//

Twilight sat, frozen and mouth agape, as the credits rolled. Only when the feature finished completely, and the lights turned back on, did the other girls notice.

"Twilight?" Starlight said. "What's wrong? Hey, Sunset? What's going on with Twi?"

"Huh?" Sunset looked over at Twilight, then waved her hand in front of Twilight's face. "Wow, I don't know. I've never seen her like this before."

Juniper looked at Twilight, and groaned. "I was afraid the movie would do this to her. Especially when I'd learned she'd never been spoiled on it." She gestured at Twilight with both hands and a sheepish expression. "This, my friends, is the look of a broken fangirl. Been here myself, lots of times. Unfortunately, I don't quite know how to cure it outside of waiting it out."

"I've got something." Sunset left the theater, then returned minutes later with a box.

"What's that?" Juniper asked as Sunset took out a small piece of cake, unwrapped it from its cellophane, and held it under Twilight's nose.

Starlight grabbed the box and read. "'Science Snacks: Guaranteed to Keep You Curious and Experimenting.'"

"They're her secret to late lab nights," Sunset said. "Only to be used in emergencies, but I'd say this counts!"

Starlight blinked after several moments of thought, then looked at the box again."Okay, yeah, these are never going through the portal."

Twilight's nose twitched. The rest of her did so moments afterward. "Creamy filling," she murmured. "One hundred percent pure sugar..." She jolted in her seat. "Whoa! Where am I?" She looked around, then deflated. "Oh. Now, I remember." She turned to Juniper, waving a hand at the screen. "They actually did it. They actually managed to screw it up! My night's totally ruined now, nothing can fix this." She crossed her legs, pouting in her seat and munching on her cake.

Juniper chuckled, then went to the theater console, took out the disc, and put it back in its case. "Aw, come on, it wasn't that bad."

"Not that bad?" Twilight managed between gluttonous bites. "That was the worst debacle of a story I've witnessed in my entire life, and we will never speak of it again!"

Juniper walked back to Twilight, and stood over her with a teasing smile. "Was it really?"

"Yes!" Twilight threw up her hands, tossing the Science Snack across the theater in the process. "You're telling me that didn't affect you when you first saw it? How could you not tell me Unicus was going to die?" Juniper saw Twilight's lips trembling, her eyes mist over, and her shoulders hunch. "S-she had the color drained from her and everything!"

Sunset tugged one of Twilight's hands, coaxing her out of her seat, while Starlight cleaned up. Juniper then gathered everyone at the door, turned off the lights, and led them all back upstairs.

"How could you not have heard about that over the last decade plus?" Juniper said. "That's like never hearing that Mareis dies! Or that Darth Neighder is Hoof Skytrotter's dad!"

"Simple! I lived a very sheltered life—" Twilight stopped in her tracks. "Wait, she what? He's what?"

Juniper looked back at Twilight, more closely this time. She looked genuinely distraught. Levity wasn't working. Once again, as with Sunny and Photo, Juniper decided to try a different approach.

"Starlight? Sunset? Go ahead and warm my room up." She took Twilight's hand. "I want to talk to Twilight for a bit. Transdork to Transdork."

"Sure." Starlight nodded, putting the boxes from downstairs on the table. "You need us, just scream. Goes for both of you, really. Come on, Sunset." The two went upstairs.

Juniper then gently pulled Twilight's hand, leading her into the kitchen. She gestured to the open box on the counter. "Want another Science Snack?"

"Mm-mmm." Twilight shook her head, pouting at the floor.

"Hey. Hey, Twi. Come on, look at me." Juniper nudged Twilight's crestfallen face up to meet hers, and smiled. "You know it's going to be all right, right?"

Twilight hesitated before answering. "Well, of course. I mean, in the end, she's a fictional character. And yet, I let myself get so invested her, for so long. So irrational, so illogical, and yet..." Twilight shook her head and sighed. "I just feel so dumb caring about this so much, even while at the same time, I can't stop caring. I'm sorry, Juniper. I'm not usually like this."

"No, don't be sorry!" Juniper squeezed Twilight's hands. "Look, when I saw that film in theaters as a kid? I was devastated. And so was, like, every single girl in that theater! Even what few boys were there were shaken. The last thing you are is alone in this."

Juniper let go of Twilight and leaned against the kitchen counter with a sigh. "Sudden change always sucks in the moment, especially when you were a fan of the status quo." She gave Twilight a wry grin. "And no, I don't count her consciousness fusing into Hottrot as her not dying, either."

Twilight sputtered into laughter. "Heck, no!" She calmed down just as quickly. "Made for a decent character arc, though? I mean, Hot had a hard time doing anything right, but she had a good heart, and kept trying anyway, so it certainly was a little cathartic when..." She put her fingers to her chin, mulling over her words. "Wow. I guess it did make sense. I mean, massive hole in my heart aside, that was a well-told story."

Juniper smiled from ear to ear. She bounced in place, clenching excited fists. "I know, right? Like, did you see that massive thirty-person debate battle at the end? Talk about a set piece!"

"I'd never heard diplomatic arguments made so well!" Twilight said, matching Juniper's smile. "To say nothing of spoken so well! The voice acting was absolutely fantastic!"

"All proven talent, even for the time," Juniper said. "What'd you think of the soundtrack?"

"Whoa, thanks for reminding me." Twilight took out her phone, tapped its screen several times, then put it back into her skirt pocket. "And bought."

Juniper giggled. "Or heck, what about the awesome way Hottrot escaped that death trap?" She leaned over. "Using science?"

"Okay, now you're just patronizing me," Twilight said.

"Yeah?" Juniper leaned further in, her grin showing teeth. "Stop me."

Twilight looked straight back into Juniper's eyes. "No way."

Both girls giggled again.

"But yeah. I'm happy you still liked it even in the face of That One Thing." Juniper leaned back against the counter again, and stared into space. "That movie was one of those experiences that... really changed me. It opened my eyes to where films could take me, and how they could make me feel. An entirely new universe, through a window right in front of me. It made me want to make my own. But better. And, of course, by 'better', I mean that the girls who I wanted to live would actually live."

"I can get behind that," Twilight said. "I'd love to watch more movies with you, Juniper. I get the feeling I'd learn a lot. We'd have fun, too."

"R-Really?" Juniper said, flushing warmly, and doing her best not to sound too excited. "I-I mean, I'd love that too! Sure, we can set that up. Wow, and here I thought you were the type of girl who just liked doing experiments in her lab all day."

"Not all day." Twilight winked. "One has to sleep sometime."

"Hah! Same here. Though not for a while yet. Anyway, you should go upstairs. Don't want to keep our real-life Transformares waiting. I'll be up as soon as I stash these leftovers."

"Sure," Twilight said, heading out of the kitchen and towards the staircase. "Don't get sucked into another dimension through your fridge."

"Oh, I would so abuse that if it were possible." Juniper said, picking up the boxes and consolidating pizza slices.

"You're not the only one," she heard a new voice say from the kitchen entryway.

Juniper yelped, barely avoiding dropping the pizza box in her hand, then turned to see Starlight. "Oh, thank goodness," she said. "I thought you went upstairs, though."

"I did. Then Sunset and I realized that too much pizza and nothing to wash it down meant we needed water, pronto." Starlight filled two glasses from the faucet, then took a huge gulp. After a sigh of satisfaction, she tilted her head and looked at Juniper. "It's been a while since I've stricken that much fear in someone's heart, though. Everything all right?"

Juniper considered playing it off, but one look at Starlight's concerned face put the kibosh on that idea. "Starlight... have I been doing all right tonight? With this sleepover, I mean."

Starlight came closer. "In what way?"

"I mean... I keep being scared that anything I could do could make the three of you... not like me at any moment. Hate me, even. I keep hearing—"

"Voices in the back of your mind saying you're going to Tartarus if you blink at someone funny, and it's just a matter of time until you do that anyway?" Starlight finished.

"Yes!" Juniper gasped. "I-I mean, the part about the mythological, all-tormenting abyss of no escape, not so much, but..."

Starlight nodded, taking another swig from her glass. "It was for like that for me back in Equestria right after I was... thwarted. Couldn't stop it for weeks. Took a bunch of this world's pony counterparts to get me back on track—and a few unexpected outsiders."

Starlight placed the glasses on the counter, walked in front of Juniper, and nudged her chin up. "What I learned through all my fears and mistakes, is that these are girls who don't give up on you. Especially if you don't give up on yourself." She grinned. "Double especially if you keep knocking it out of the park like what I just saw you do with Twilight."

Juniper blushed. "That one just came to me. Like it did with the two girls at CHS I promised to help yesterday."

"From what I've heard and seen, I have a feeling you have a better eye for understanding people and situations than you might think. Don't sleep on it." Starlight exhaled. "Comes in handy a whole bunch, believe me."

"Think I'm starting to see that a little bit. Thanks, Starlight," Juniper said.

"Of course. Come on, let's go talk to the others. What better way to prove that your fears are just that?"





"Ahhh, there you are," Sunset said as the she saw the two enter the bedroom. She flashed a slanted grin at Juniper. "Twilight tells me she's not broken anymore. Good job."

Juniper chuckled. "Happy to help."

"Which approaches ironic," Starlight said, "given why we're all here right now." She turned to Juniper. "Twilight told me and Sunset that when you called her, you sounded... not good."

"To put it mildly," Juniper said, her heart feeling heavier already. "And I'm sorry for scaring you all, really. I just didn't know what to think, and there were so many feelings at once, and none of them were good, and I've never had any experience handling that before, and…" She trailed off.

Twilight placed her hand on Juniper's shoulder. "And you're not the first. I promise. There's nothing to be sorry about. But we would like to know what's going on, so we can better help."

"After the Friendship Games,” Sunset said, “Twilight and I became friends, and we began confiding in each other, since we had both been touched by magic in ways that we weren't proud of." Sunset and Twilight shared a nod. "It proved to be pretty good for both of us. We both learned a lot about each other, and about emotions we don’t usually share with other people. It really helped both of us out."

Juniper nodded. "That makes sense."

"And when I first visited this world, Sunset invited me over," Starlight said, "and just let me talk about how I felt about my life. All of my life, too, even the stuff I didn't want to think about too much. No judgment or anything. I learned a lot when I did, but beyond that, it just felt really nice."

"We thought about including you back then, but things were weird, and we didn't know you as well as we do now. And I guess, deep down, we maybe were still a little uneasy given what had just happened between you and us?" Twilight said, looking away.

Juniper sighed. “Yeah. That makes sense, too.”

Twilight shook her head. "But I wanted to change that! Because it didn't take any of us long to learn that the worst thing you can do is keep these things bottled up. They always fester, and then come back to you in the worst ways."

"Can also confirm," Starlight added. "In a literal sense. Long story, involves spells gone wrong. But yeah, we want to know everything. That you're comfortable with telling us right now, that is. No judgment anywhere. This is all about sharing. Getting it out there."

"Especially since," Twilight said, "as said before, the four of us are sort of an exclusive club. In a way, we're all we've got."

"I understand." Juniper took stood up, walked over to her bed, and sat. She folded her hands, took a deep breath, and began the unenviable task of putting all the feelings and memories she'd been running away from over the past couple of months into words.

Then, after a long exhale, she spoke.

"I work—well, used to work—at the movie studio on the other side of Canterlot with my uncle, Canter Zoom. I was there for years. My role there was pretty much to just go around making things easier for everyone. Whether that meant getting coffee, making sure props were in the right place, taking supply inventory, you name it, I did it. I guess you could call it an 'extended internship,' because I didn't get paid all that much for it, but really, I would have done it for free. It made the crew and my uncle happy, which made me happy, too.

"But I guess..." Juniper closed her eyes. "Having been there so long, I got it into my head that just because I technically was part of the studio staff, and because I liked movies a whole bunch, that clearly meant I could be part of a professional production on the other side of the camera." She sighed. "You know. Without any professional acting training or experience. Figured I could just cut the line."

She looked up and around for a response. The others simply nodded, still listening, their expressions still neutral. Relieved, Juniper continued.

"When the Daring Do movie deal was inked, I got to know before anybody that Uncle Canter was chosen to direct. I was beyond excited, because her books are just as much of an inspiration to me now as they were when I was little." She looked at Twilight with a small smile. "One might say I have a hard time acting my age."

Twilight smiled back.

"But I'd known for years that I wanted, more than anything, to play as Daring in a movie. Partially because, if I did, then maybe people would finally—" Juniper hesitated. "You know what, not important. Point is, I somehow thought that, given where I worked, and how long I'd been there, I actually had a chance at the role."

Juniper rolled her eyes and huffed. "In the back of my mind, I think I always knew I was being crazy. But I came up with that stupid, stupid 'trouble on the set' scheme anyway." She looked down at the floor, studying strands of carpet fabric.

"I don't know what possessed me to go through with it," Juniper continued, tensing and clenching a fist. "I just knew I wanted something so bad, and nothing else was working! And then Chestnut got picked, a-and I just..." She shuddered and sighed.

The other three girls sat on the bed with Juniper, with Twilight and Starlight gripping Juniper's hands on either side, and Sunset squeezing Juniper's shoulders from behind. The gentle, soothing gestures surprised Juniper, along with their reassuring gazes. They also encouraged her to move forward, past the part where she usually tried to stop thinking about the incident altogether.

"I lost it. I got so jealous and angry. I couldn't think straight at all. And in the end, I hurt so many people," Juniper whispered, feeling her eyes misting. "They depended on me, and I destroyed all of the trust they put in me." She looked over at the others, took off her glasses, and wiped her eyes. "I-I've never had much in the way of friends. But until then, it was fine, because I had my uncle, I had the crew, and I was in a place I loved more than anything, being around what I loved more than anything. And then I just... threw all that out."

Juniper put her glasses back on, got up, walked to her window, and looked outside. She barely noticed the others join her side as she looked out into the far distance, where a lit studio lot could be seen. For the first time in weeks, she forced herself to look at it directly, and withstand the lump that surfaced in her throat when she did.

"The day I was officially expelled from the studio was awful. Everyone who knew what had really happened, looked at me like I'd betrayed them, which I pretty much had. They made sure to avoid eye contact as I was escorted around the set one final time to gather my things. No one wanted to say anything mean, but they still all looked so heartbroken. The rest who were kept in the dark just wanted to ask why I was leaving. But I couldn't say anything.

"Finally, I was escorted out—and the moment I heard the gates slam shut behind me, I knew right then that I had absolutely nobody left in my life." She sniffled. "And no purpose to it anymore, either."

Starlight stepped close and took Juniper's hand. "That's not true," she whispered. "You know that, right?"

Juniper stayed quiet for several moments in lieu of answering Starlight's question. She then closed her eyes, and continued her story.

"Anyway, postscript to this is that I still have a few people on the inside who talk to me through e-mail. They say security's been beefed up. Everything's just that much more tense there now, and probably will be for a while, until they're sure—" Juniper choked on the words. "Until they're sure somebody like me won't happen again."

Starlight leaned over and hugged Juniper. Juniper turned and wrapped her arms around Starlight, feeling a little warmer, a little more at ease, but the lump in her throat getting bigger nonetheless. She'd given up trying to control her sniffles as well.

"I-I just want to make it all go away," Juniper said, her voice now a soft whimper. "Make it like it used to be. If it meant giving up all the time I spent on set, all the way back to when I was younger? I'd do it! This is so much worse! Punish me, sure, but not them, too!"

"Have you tried telling the people on set how you feel about this?" Starlight asked. "Or your uncle?"

Juniper shook her head. "Back then I was too angry. Now I'm too scared. It wouldn't do any good anyway. I've messed up too many peoples' lives, including my own."

"Speaking as someone who's said exactly those words," Sunset said, "I promise you, it does do good. Some people will accept an apology right away, and some won't. Both of those things are completely okay. For most people, though, apologies require time and consistent action for them to stick, but eventually, forgiveness does follow." Sunset placed her hand on Juniper's shoulder. "And trust can be rebuilt."

Juniper closed her eyes, trying to imagine the studio crew welcoming her back—the people she'd betrayed, with barely a hint of remorse at the time—with open arms.

She tried imagining having a heart-to-heart with her uncle, where they talked about things. Where he forgave her. Where life went on, as if nothing had happened.

She tried to imagine facing the girls who had made fun of her for so many years. Who had called her weird, creepy, and useless. She tried to imagine them apologizing, and herself saying that it was all okay. That in the long run, she didn't care what they thought.

She then imagined being face to face with Suri Polomare... and that was as far as she got before she had to stifle a scream. Her body tensed in Starlight's arms. She shook her head, regretful that she'd ever tried thinking back to old times, or dared thinking of better ones.

"What if I don't deserve any of what you just said?" she asked in the tiniest of voices.

Twilight gasped. "Juniper, no! Don't ever think that, please!"

But it was impossible now. Multiple trains of thought—now nightmare scenarios of what she knew would really happen, how those other people would really react, and how she knew she would react as well—careened out of control, every train hurtling towards each other at top speed on converging tracks. She felt dizzy from the sheer anger, the anguish, the screaming in her mind.

Juniper backed out of Starlight's hug, and away from the others, shaking her head to try and clear it. She was only partly successful, but spoke anyway.

"Look, facts are facts. Two of you standing here right now are magical prodigies in your own dimension. By default, you're special people! Ponies. Whatever. The point is, you'll always will be. "And you?" She looked at Twilight. "Outside of my uncle, I can't think of a single more amazing person I've ever met in my life! You're, like, super smart! You're going to win a ton of awards and make the world a better place in a thousand different ways!"

The trains accelerated. Whistles and horns blew, in a futile attempt to stop the inevitable.

"Meanwhile, what am I?" Juniper looked around her room, every poster that met her eyes now a personal condemnation. "The 'pop culture nerd'. Encyclopedia of useless knowledge, fangirl of other peoples' make-believe stuff! On any team?" She drooped. "I'm the mascot, at best. There's nothing I bring to the table. And the rest of the world always knew that, too!"

"That's not what you were telling me the other day." Twilight shook her head. "And I know two girls that you're meeting tomorrow who would say differently, too!"

Juniper tried thinking about Photo and Sunny. How would they really feel about her tomorrow? Going by her track record she knew. Failure visualized itself in her mind, and if there had been any chance of stopping a catastrophe before, it was impossible now.

"Oh, right, them," Juniper said, with a disdainful laugh as thunder rolled outside. "Ugh, I can't believe I dove into trying to be useful to people." She shook her head. "They were wrong to trust me, though. I-I can't be trusted, they should have placed their faith in someone who was worth—"

A chill rushed through Juniper, and her brain buzzed with static. The ability to continue her line of reasoning left her, not that she saw the point of trying anymore.

The trains crashed into each other, igniting a mind-deafening explosion, destroying any hope that might have been traveling within them.

At least the fireball was pretty.

"I... need some air." Whirling around, Juniper strode out of the room.

She barely heard Twilight say, "Juniper, wait!" as she made her way to the front door as fast as she could. She opened the door, and looked outside. While the rain had stopped, it was still dark and windy. She decided she didn't care, and stepped out into the storm.

This was a mistake. All of it was. 

She felt the chill again, and hugged herself. The buzzing worsened, becoming a beehive in her mind. I can't believe that for a minute there, I thought having 'friends' around me would actually help. I'm still a lost cause. I'm still useless. And I always will be.

She walked around the side of her house, towards her backyard, where nobody would be able to see her cry in peace. The storm would muffle her as well. Bonus. On the way, she passed by a window—and at the same moment lightning flashed, illuminating her reflection.

And once again, she saw it. Saw her. A long-haired young woman. A smug smile. A face which looked eerily just like Juniper herself, after the longest of studio makeup sessions.

"It is you!" Juniper gasped, and ran the rest of the way to her backyard. The thunder boomed harder. "Why are you here? What do you want with me? You're the half the reason I'm in this mess!"

She slipped on a patch of grass, yelping, and barely managing to stop her fall with her hands. She sat on her heels and screamed, putting her hands over her head, her mind swirling, her heart pulsing, trying to grasp at any semblance of thought or reason, and coming up blank with every attempt.

Why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't everyone? I'm done with this world! I'm done trying to fit in it! I'm done with everything! Just go away! 

"Finally," she heard a voice reply through the angry sky, "you're beginning to understand."

Juniper looked up.

That voice.

It was the same voice that had been harassing her this whole time, and now she knew—it belonged to the one thing she'd never wanted to see again as long as she lived, yet which she'd already seen twice in the past hour.

And, once again, there was no one around but herself.

Juniper stood back up with a start. "Seriously! Why is this happening to me?" she shouted, before blinking exactly once.

When she opened her eyes, her backyard, and her house—to say nothing of the rest of Canterlot—were nowhere to be found.