Juniper shambled into her bedroom early the next afternoon. She tossed her backpack to one side of the carpeted floor, huffed, and looked around.
Wall-to-wall posters from her favorite films captured her view, and her thoughts. Several posters were pasted to the ceiling as well. Juniper basked in their presence: fantasy worlds, action shots, psychological thriller scenes. Simply meditating on their existence never failed to relax her mind after a long day of dealing with the world.
Her eyes wandered over to her computer. Making her usual online rounds could wait, as could her own blog. Her brain still buzzed from work. Right now, she needed an outlet. Some way to relax.
She looked over to the wooden bookshelf in the corner of the room, ceiling-high and filled with high-definition movie discs. A large flat-screen television stood on a counter next to it for maximum convenience. The entire middle shelf held new arrivals she hadn't categorized yet. Tonight was definitely going to be a backlog night.
Though still undecided on her immediate next activity, Juniper couldn't help but smile. She was, at last, back in her sanctuary, filled with the fun parts of being who she was, and of enjoying what she loved.
Nothing like what she had to deal with for six hours a day, four days a week.
"Honies, I'm home," she said to the stuffed animals on her bed, before flopping down onto her mattress amidst them. She reached for her plush of Loco the Bear, star of the Grizzly Conductor children's film series. She'd loved those movies as a little girl, and they were still going even now. In her heart of hearts, she was glad that even today's children could believe that a bear could drive a train—to say nothing of saving the world while doing it.
"Work was so dumb today," she groaned to Loco, hugging him and relishing in his fuzzy softness. "I seriously should find a video store to apply to instead. Then I could make money recommending movies to people, instead of serving and picking up after their sloppy butts." She paused. "Assuming there are any video stores left in Canterlot that streaming hasn't killed."
Loco didn't answer. Which was fair, Juniper decided. He usually didn't.
She put Loco to the side and sighed. At least her shifts were over for the next three days. Which meant she could turn her mind, and energies, towards much more important things.
Juniper got out of bed, took off her striped work apron, and replaced her restrictive—not to mention gaudy—work blouse with a loose t-shirt from her closet. She took a deep breath, and stretched, enjoying the freedom of movement.
Much better. Now she really could think about those important matters. Like her first free weekend in months. The summer blockbuster season was finally winding down, and her parents were gone all weekend for their anniversary. She'd practically had to beg to have a reprieve from shifts this weekend, but it had been worth it. The best of vacations was now hers.
Times like this would normally be when she would pay a visit to Uncle Canter's set, but even if he wasn't between projects right now, that also hadn't been an appealing—or possible—option for months.
For reasons.
She forced herself to abandon that line of thought immediately, and took out her phone, sifting through her calendar. It was a formality more than anything, just to remind herself how free she was right now and hang on what was this thing at Canterlot Park at six on Saturday?
Juniper struggled to remember. Then it hit her. Her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. "Oh my gosh! I have my first ever film consultation tomorrow!"
She exhaled, and looked across her movie posters once more. Her gaze fell on Jane Blender, the ever-suited mistress of disguise who ran dangerous spy missions for princess and country, and who always got what—or who—she wanted.
"Bet you never forget stuff. Then again, nothing about your life is exactly forgettable," Juniper said to Jane, amidst fannish giggling. "Movie Seventeen, am I right?"
The next twenty minutes consisted of Juniper walking around her room, digging in drawers and closets, and grabbing all her needed supplies, all while humming to herself. Before long, her laptop, multiple spare flash cards, and miniature microphones were safe inside her bag. Meanwhile, umbrellas and a tripod lay inside a nearby box next to it, along with a rolled-up plastic surface to place her laptop on, because she did not trust a public park to have free clean tables one bit. No sense in leaving anything to chance. She wanted to this to be perfect.
"Well, that was easy." Juniper dusted her hands, took out her phone again, and set her alarm for 4:00 pm tomorrow, which would allow her to arrive far ahead of schedule. Canterlot Park was minutes away by bus. She looked more closely at her phone, idly wondering if mobile camera lenses had caught up to professional models yet—
Her palm hit her forehead.
"Duh! Camera? Seriously, how do I even function?"
She rolled her eyes and narrated to the ceiling as she walked back across the room, arms outstretched. "'Breaking news: local cinephile forgets the thing literally required to shoot a movie on the way to shooting said movie! Be sure to sign her up for all of your film-making needs!' Ugh, I'd forget my head if I hadn't been born with it."
She reached the one closet in her room whose door she hadn't opened yet, and opened it. Spare cameras lay in front of her, of all makes, models and sizes, from bottom shelf to top. "Let's see, too old, too new, I don't even know how to work that one yet—aha!" She grabbed a digital video camera from the top shelf, checking its labels. "Sweet, waterproof! Can't believe I finally get to use you." She turned it over in her hands. "Just gotta make sure you don't have any surprise breakage, and then I'll test—"
The words "Property of C. Zoom" appeared, written on the bottom of the camera in fine magic marker.
Juniper fell silent.
Her whole body felt heavier as she stepped away from the closet. She walked to and sat on her bed, staring at the camera, staring at the writing. She then looked at her nightstand. Her eyes wandered towards its drawers.
Before long, however, she was looking through them.
Juniper strode towards the director's office, fists balled, and teeth clenched. As she did so, she could only hear scattered words in raised voices, all the way until she made it to the door. Inching next to it, she listened closely.
She couldn't believe it. They were still arguing. Frustration bubbled from within her.
"I can't believe how many times I was told that being in film would be the 'greatest boon to my career'!" Juniper recognized Horson Wells's voice. "Instead I arrive, and it's amateur hour, every hour!"
"That's on you," Juniper heard her uncle say next. "If you would simply give the way we do things here a chance—"
"I could say the same of you! So much of what goes on here would never fly on stage, and for good reason!"
"And that's exactly the point! Why can't you just be reasonable about this?"
"Why can't you just admit I'm right? I don't even know why you and your studio bother with this racket!"
It had been like this for a whole week, and Juniper officially couldn't take it anymore. She turned the knob and flung open the door. Anger and passion drove her words and actions—her better judgment was excluded from the party.
"Stop it, both of you!" she yelled. "Uncle Canter, you're way better than this! Why is this still going on? Why are you taking all of this from him? I've seen you eject other people for making way less trouble than he has!"
"Juniper, now isn't the time—" Canter began, but Juniper was still on fire. If the crew wasn't going to speak up, she would.
She turned to Horson, and pointed at him. "And you! Get over yourself already! Do you realize what you're doing to the production? What you're doing to the crew by being all selfish like this? They're absolutely miserable! I've never seen them miserable before!"
"That's hardly my fault—" Horson began, but Juniper cut him off as well.
"Yes, it is! Because you're the only one on this lot who isn't happy to be part of the magic we're making here! That we always make here! So, we don't film like it's a stage play. Big whoop! But if you keep whining the way you are, we'll never film at all! Is that seriously what you want? Do you want to kill a movie?" Juniper screamed at the top of her lungs. "Because that's what you're doing!"
Juniper gasped to catch her breath—and only then did her mind catch up with the rest of her. She felt her vision sloshing, water gathering behind her irises. She looked up at Canter and Horson, who were fixing her with dumbstruck stares.
"Oh, oh, my gosh," she said, barely able to get the words out above a whisper. "I-I'm so sorry." She backed away, feeling the shivers, the fear, slowly taking over her whole body, feeling the tears coming on. She braced herself for being tossed out of the studio, being ejected from the one place in her life where she'd ever felt at peace. The only question was, how fast would it happen?
Canter shook his head. "No, Juniper," he said, his voice as soft as his expression. "Please. Stay."
"I..." Juniper bit her lip, sniffled, took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.
"It's all right," Canter insisted, stretching his hand towards her with a small smile. "I'm not mad at you. You're the only person in this room who got it right."
Juniper's fear ebbed, little by little, loosening her muscles enough for her to take her uncle's hand, and step to his side.
"This is my niece, Juniper," Canter said. "You've seen her around, getting your drinks and running your errands, but the real role she plays here is far greater." He looked at Horson. "You asked me why we bother. Well, you're looking at her. She's the one who keeps the spirit of this studio alive."
Horson furrowed his eyebrows, studying Juniper. Before long, his face softened as well. "Charmed, my dear," he said.
"Horson, all cards on the table," Canter said, "the fact of the matter is that we cast you specifically because of your skills and experience, to say nothing of your proven dedication. We would never ask you to give up anything about who you are. Because who you are is why you're here, and you're fantastic at being you.
"But just as stage has its rules, so does screen. I know this because, well, I've actually tried directing plays before." His smile widened. "And I got wrecked on those sets. I guess that's why I've been giving you so much leeway. Because I've been so scared of 'doing it wrong' in your eyes. Theater, as much as I love it, intimidates me."
"As much as this studio intimidates me, I'm sure," Horson said, with a faraway look. "To say nothing of the film industry itself. It's all just so big, so controlling. How do you not let it sweep you up and devour you whole?"
"By getting to know everyone here. By trusting in them, and in the medium we work in," Canter replied. "Things stop feeling so big and hollow after that. And we want to get to know you too. The last thing any of us want to do is force you into being someone you're not. Everyone's uniqueness, their personalities, their talents, what makes them special, are all resources for this studio to use, to make the best productions they can."
Horson sighed. "And once more, communication and translation prove to be ever-present facts of creative life. This profession really is nothing but an eternal odyssey of learning, isn't it?"
Canter nodded. "Same goes for all art, really. It's so easy to get caught up in the details that don't matter—all the shallow, surface differences between us. But when we let those distract us, we forget about the details that do matter. Shared goals. Shared passions. Minds, hearts, and skills, all coming together. That's what gets films made. Well, that and lots of money."
Horson chuckled.
Canter smiled down at Juniper, patting her shoulder. Juniper smiled back up at him. "But what really matters, at the end of the day, is that this girl loves movies more than anything, and wants to see every single one made. And she's hardly alone."
"Let us not drag our heels, then." Horson smiled as well. "Canter, Juniper, please accept my profuse apologies. I've been out of line so much since I arrived on set, and it hasn't been fair to the rest of you, or this production. Hardly an excuse, but so much of this is simply new for me. I would humbly request your guidance in the art of working with film."
"Of course." Canter nodded. "And I welcome your input, too. I always ask my crew and on-screen talent to speak up if they have any thoughts on the production, or ideas to make it better." He squeezed Juniper's hand. "And I do mean all of my crew."
Juniper giggled and shrugged. "Oh, you know. When I can."
Canter and Horson laughed. "May I talk to my niece alone for a minute?" Canter asked.
"Certainly," Horson said. "I will let the crew know that I will gladly stay on the production—and apologize to them as well. Hopefully it's not too late for a fresh start."
"I'm sure it isn't. And Horson? Thank you."
"The feeling is mutual."
The two men shook hands, and Horson left, closing the door behind him.
Juniper looked at the door. "I'm glad that ended well," she said. "But I really am sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did."
Canter shrugged. "Maybe not as forcefully as you did. These are always delicate situations." He sat in a nearby chair, which Juniper approached. "But I'm glad you stepped in. And I'm beyond happy you care so much, Juniper. So much of what I do would mean a lot less to me if I didn't know you were watching."
"Of course I care, Uncle Canter," Juniper said, her heart swelling with joy. "I don't just love movies. I'm your number one fan, too!"
That same joy was reflected in Canter's smile. "You are, are you? Well, I guess I've got someone I need to keep happy with every film I shoot."
"Guess you do," Juniper said. "But I'll always be helping you do it. You and me'll be a team forever!"
"Wow, forever? That's a long time," Canter said, stretching out his arms and letting Juniper fall into them. "You know what, though?"
"What's that?" Juniper asked, full of warmth and laughter.
"That sounds wonderful to me."
The good times had been wonderful. The good times had been everything Juniper could ever have wanted out of life. Even with the conflicts, the good times had always been worth it.
The good times had also only lasted for a few years afterwards.
As quickly as Juniper remembered her uncle's warm and smiling embrace, she remembered the day she'd seen him, frowning and arms crossed, standing behind a guard as they ejected her from the studio, possibly never to return.
Banished from her home away from home, after she'd tried, in a fit of stupid jealousy, to sabotage his latest production. Banished from the place where she belonged.
No.
Juniper bit her lip, sniffling.
I can't keep denying what's right in front of me. I banished myself, by doing all those horrible things. The sabotage, the girls, the mall—no wonder I'm stuck where I am now.
She placed the camera on the nightstand, and opened the bottom drawer. She reached inside, her whole body numb to feeling, unable to stop trembling. She took out a framed picture, holding it in front of herself with both hands.
It was a photo of the entire studio crew, on the final day of Horson's movie shoot. They numbered a few dozen men and women—some of them even holding babies that had been born during filming. Front and center, Juniper stood atop a stool, hugging her uncle from the side while smiling for the camera.
I kept thinking nobody wanted me around for so long, that I blinded myself to the people who actually did. Now they really don't want me around.
Her grip loosened. The photo fell to the carpeted floor. She didn't bother picking it up. Instead, she took off her glasses. Her eyes burned as she rubbed them. The familiar lump in her throat was the largest it had ever been.
And I completely deserve it. I deserve everything that happened to me. I deserve worse.
Drops of water fell onto her legs.
I wasn't worth forgiving!
Juniper rolled over on her bed, and fell into her pillow. The tears flowed. The sobs followed—first muted and soft, then loud, hiccupping, and miserable. Nobody was around to hear them, but she wouldn't have cared if they had. Sadness made up her entire world.
It'd been doing that a lot lately.
I'm the absolute worst. A total waste. Who else but a horrible person would hurt so many people? Or throw away everything I had going for myself?
Thick, gray clouds of despair gathered, and danced, in her mind and heart.
I'm not worth anyone's friendship.
As Juniper emptied her lonesome feelings into cotton sheets, the skies outside filled with dark clouds as well, obscuring the last of the afternoon's sunshine.
Maybe I never was.