//------------------------------// // Way out West // Story: A self-made pony // by Paradise Oasis //------------------------------// I made the first part of my fortune out on the open plains... Fancy Pants pulled his tattered fedora down over his face, to keep the dust out of his eyes. The dry desert wind tore at his multicolored Poncho, as he looked out across the dusty plain. "Hm, looks like I won't be putting the cows out to graze this afternoon." He thought to himself. As the harsh desert winds howled in his ears, the young Stallion reflected on how he had gotten here. As soon as he had finished university, Fancy had taken what was left of his financial resources to make his way out to the west. He had taken up work as a higher hand to a cattle rancher. Out here, he had learned to respect the power of the elements, and that a Pony- who thought of themselves as the center of the world- really was a little thing in the grande scheme of existence. "Fancy Pants!" Slim, the ranch owner yelled out to him from the barn. "Get your flank in here! We got a problem!" The cowpony trotted into the barn, expecting to see some hay that needed bailed. What he did not expect to see was an empty barn, completely bereft off all his livestock. But that is exactly the sight that greeted the unicorn's eyes. "The cows... what...." "Stolen, Fancy." His earth Pony boss grumbled. "I'd spect it was the work of them no good buffalo!" "Standing Bison would never do this." Fancy thought to himself. "I'd better go talk to the tribe!" The cowpony galloped out towards the buffalo village... he had befriended these majestic creatures when he had first arrived here. They had been distrustful at first, but they gradually came to trust the only pony who treated them with any respect. "Thunderhooves, I need to talk to your father!" Fancy galloped up to his young friend, nearly out of breath. "My boss thinks the Buffalo stole our cattle!" "What? That's ridiculous!" The young buffalo snorted. The son of chief Standing Bison, Thunderhooves was the first friend Fancy had made out here. The two got along well enough, and Fancy Pants was convinced that his friend would make an excellent chief some day. "What would our tribe do with a bunch of cows? They would eat up all of our food in no time!" "Where's Standing Bison?" Fancy Pants asked impatiently. "Father's still in the medicine lodge." Thunderhooves replied."He was surprise attacked by two rough looking stallions he had just happened to come across." It didn't take long before Fancy Pants put two and two together, and he knew what had happened to his boss's head of cattle. "Thuderhooves." The cowpony narrowed his eyes. "Which way did those ornery ponies go?" ... West of the village, two pony outlaws herded their stolen cattle towards the open plains, laughing about how easy their latest theft had been. "Can you believe that dopey city unicorn, they had guarding these critters?" The brown outlaw chuckled. "It was a cinch gettin the herd away under his watch!" "Haw Haw! And the feather ah left in the barn will make 'em think the buffalo did it!" The green stallion chortled. "Shame we had ta rough up that buffalo ta get it!" It was then, that an angry young buffalo leapt in front of the two of them, and charged at the brown one, knocking the surprised outlaw over. "Why you little-" The green one charged at her, but was was his by a large rock, and sent sprawling. "Good shot, my friend!" Thunderhooves exclaimed. "That unicorn levitation magic of yours is formidable!" Fancy smiled at his friend, as he tied the two ruffians up. "Come on, lets get these two back to the ranch, and clear your people's good name!" ... Fancy's boss was well pleased with his efforts, and even gave him a large raise for his heroism. The Unicorn cowpony became very popular amongst the rancher community.At the very next hoedown, every cowfilly fought to dance with him. "Ohhh! Fancy! Over here! Dance with me!" "No no! dance with meeee!" The fillies swarmed over him causing him to duck out of the room. "Ladies, ladies, please! Control yourselves!" He galloped out of the barn, and ran to the water trough to get a drink. "Trouble with the fillys, eh?" His boss came trotting up, as Fancy finished lapping up the water. "Boy, in mah younger days, ah've been there!" "I've just had enough of silly fillies, sir." Fancy sighed. "From here on out, I'm just going to wait for the right one." "You've done such a good job since you got here, boy." The old earth pony whinnied. "Gettin up at the crow of th' rooster, milkin the cows, bailin' the hay. Ah have to admit... ah was skeptical 'bout hiring a city slicker pony, but you shore proved youself a hard worker!" "Thank you, sir... I deeply appreciate your compliments." Fancy thanked him. "Did you make the arrangements I asked you to?" "Yep, made the recommendation to the police commissioner in Manehatten, like y'all asked me to. Y'all have a job waitin' fore ya there on the force." The rancher shook his mane. "Y'all sore ya don't want ta stay out heah? Ah can make ya'll a partnuh in the ranch business, and mah daughter's takin quite a fancy to y'all." "I'm sorry, sir... but I have some bushiness to take care of back in the city." Fancy's eyes narrowed. "I have some old friends of my father's who are in the need of some payback!" "Well, with all th' bits y'all made yeah, ya should be set for life!" His boss chuckled. "Good luck to y'all son, it was an honor ta have y'all work fah me." "Thank you, sir." Fancy Pants replied, tipping his fedora. "I promise I'll stop back to visit very time I get the chance!" As the unicorn cowpony trotted away, his boss snickered. "Y'all really are a hard worker... but y'alls the only cowpony ah know who wears a fancy city fedora instead of a cowpony hat!"