Sweetie ran into the den, glad to see all of her friends there. Though, to be honest, she wasn't as happy with the fact that a certain headpiece-wearing filly was there, but she probably had vital information in that selfish mind of hers.
Everypony jumped in surprise when the white filly jumped up on a speaker. "Everyone! I wanted to know - who here was talked into a rap battle by somepony else?" Seeing hooves tenatively raised into the air, she nodded, a frown on her face. "I thought so..."
Spike rushed up behind her, confused. "Sweetie, what's going on? What are you talking about?"
She didn't answer, instead pointing at Trixie. "Who gave you the idea to do a rap battle? When did they do that?"
The ex-showmare blinked, processing the question for a few moments. "...Trixie was still...camping...in the Everfree forest..."
Trixie groaned, her stomach rumbling from hunger. She stared up at the tree above her, the grey fruit taunting her. "...ripen, darn you..."
A snap of a twig quickly brought her out of her...focus. Turning around, she came face-to-face with a pink pony with poofy hair. "Hiya! Why are you so down, Lulamoon?"
Trixie blinked, confused. "...how do you know my last name? Trixie never said it to anypony before!"
"Oh, that doesn't matter right now!" She giggled before stepping closer, a serious look on her face. "Have you seen the Foal Free Press lately?"
"...the what now?" Trixie was starting to get uneasy around this strange mare. She took a step back as a newspaper was flung at her feet. Glancing at the headline, her jaw dropped. "...n-no way..." She grabbed it with her hooves and began reading, her eyes slowly growing wider with every word. "H-how could anypony do this!? This is an invasion of my privacy!"
"If I were you, I'd think about revenge."
Trixie glanced up at the pink pony, shivering slightly from how serious she looked. "I-I could never do that. B-besides, I'm fairly certain that 'Gabby Gums' is a pen name."
"True, but what about the photographer?" She indicated the name, right underneath the photo. "It wasn't Gabby who took the photo - all she did was speculate. This pegasus, on the other hand..."
Trixie was starting to tear up. What? She is brave enough to admit it! "...w-who is this...F-Featherweight?"
"Then she described him to Trixie and left. Trixie didn't think much of it until...well, until she saw him." She grimaced, glancing at the tan pegasus she rapped against. "...she apologizes for that, again..."
He waved a hoof, smiling kindly at her. Applebloom wrapped her forelegs around his barrel, staring at Trixie with uncertainty.
For her part, the ex-showmare quietly engrossed herself with the pinecone she was currently eating. Old habits died hard, after all.
Sweetie, meanwhile, had moved on to the next pony. "How about you, Fluttershy? What motivated you to rap against Screwball?"
Fluttershy, who had hidden herself behind a large vase, squeaked in surprise, glancing around nervously. "...um...you see..."
Fluttershy immediately turned around to see that Screwball, a pony whom seemed to have stayed in Ponyville despite the end of Discord’s (rather short) reign, had ran into her chicken coop, again, but it was now broken down.
“...oh...my...” She shuffled her hooves nervously, unable to look at the floating earth pony.
Said pony was looking down at the damage done, a distant smile on her face. "You should really rethink where you put that!"
The shy pegasus shifted again, watching as the mare left her property. "...i-it's alright...I was planning on moving it anyways..."
"Fluttershy!"
She turned around and found herself face-to-face with Scootaloo. She blinked, staring at the filly for a few moments. "...aren't you supposed to be crusading with your friends? I mean, unless I'm mistaken..."
The orange filly waved a hoof. "Not important right now. What is important is that you need to stand up for yourself! Challenge her to a rap battle!"
Fluttershy was about to (kindly) shoot that idea down, but then she remembered what a certain minotaur said. "...if somepony treats you like a clown...use your rhymes to take them down!" She thought for a moment before sheepishly adding a couple more words. "...a peg..."
Sweetie gave a curt nod, thinking back to that day. "...Scootaloo was with us all day..." She quickly turned to the dragon behind her, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. "What about you, Spike? Surely there was a reason you wanted to rap against Silver Spoon?"
He stepped back, not really expecting the unicorn to ask him that. "...well, yeah...like I told you, you - or, I guess, someone who looked like you - said that Spoon would be a better pony, if only she could stand on her own and not need to follow Tiara like a...a..."
"Lost puppy?"
"Yeah, that." He shrugged, still confused. "Where are you going with this, Sweetie Belle?"
Alas, she had shifted her attention to the pink, crown-wearing filly, so she didn't pay his question any mind. "Tiara, normally you have some sort of hidden agenda when you pick on us. What was the reason behind your rap battle?"
Tiara sat on the stairs, eating a daisy sandwich. Wait, no, that's not right. Make that a-
You know what? It doesn't matter.
Anyways, she watched as the object of her venomous hatred was chatting with another member of their ridiculous club. Apparently, the other one said something embarrassing, because that little red-head started blushing and turned her gaze to that gangly pegasus.
"It seems that Apple Booty has a crush."
Tiara looked to her left, seeing her faithful friend there. Her presence always made her smile. "Hello, Silver Spoon!" She blinked, suddenly realizing what exactly was said. "...wait, what? Really?"
The silver filly smirked, gesturing to the pegasus. "Maybe you can use that to your advantage. Challenge her to a rap battle and have him as the prize!"
Tiara soon gained a sinister smile of her own. "Oh, that's an excellent idea, Silver Spoon."
Without missing a beat, Sweetie gave all of her attention to the only spotted colt in the room. "Pip, who talked you into it? Exactly what happened?"
Pipsqueak thought for a moment, tapping his chin. "...well..."
Silence overtook the room as everypony stared at each other. The only one who wasn't looking around was the purple dragon, but that was because he was doodling a white unicorn on a piece of paper.
"H-hey, P-Pipsqueak."
The spotted colt turned to face the ashen purple unicorn, curious as to why she was whispering. "...yes?"
"M-maybe you s-should give it a t-try. Who k-knows, it may b-be fun!"
He raised an eyebrow, thinking about it. "...sure, but...who would I do it with?"
The unicorn giggled softly, pointing to an orange pegasus nearby. "Ask S-Scootaloo. I'm s-sure she'd d-do it with you!"
Pipsqueak stared at the magenta-maned filly, tilting his head slightly. Soon enough, he came to a decision. Grinning, he stood up, raising a hoof.
"I'd like to have a rap battle, then!"
Sweetie rubbed the sides of her head, groaning. "There's something wrong with that story...but Pipsqueak isn't one to lie..." She leaned down and clopped her forehooves in front of the wisteria-colored unicorn, trying to get her attention. "Dinky, is what he said true?"
She blinked, looking up at the white Crusader in confusion. "...y-yes, it is. W-why are you a-asking me?"
Sweetie leaped off the speaker, a decisive look on her face. "It is clear to me what's going on." She got right up in the other pony's face, scowling. "You. Are. Not. Dinky. I know voices, and yours is incorrect."
The rest of the room clamored in outrage, but, this time, it was the long-legged, tan pegasus behind her who spoke up, immediately catching everypony's eyes. "Sweetie's right." He walked up to the younger pony, a sad frown on his face. "...my sister doesn't have a stutter...and she lisps."
The pony's eye twitched, a growl escaping her grit teeth. "...Discord...you should've been more specific than just 'speech impediment'..." A cruel smile formed on her lips, glaring up at them. "Congratulations, you figured it out. You can't stop us. We already know all about you." She turned to Spike, smirking. "Your loves." She faced Silver Spoon, now. "Your secrets." Featherweight. "Your family." Diamond Tiara. "And your desires."
"I challenge you."
They all stared at the small white unicorn, shocked by her words. Slowly, she stepped forward, eyes fierce. "I win, you give us back Dinky. You leave Equestria and take your Changelings with you."
The purple filly's eyebrow quirked, her snide smile still presiding on her lips. This was hiding her curiosity over how Sweetie knew about the Changelings surrounding town. "And if I win?"
Sweetie looked around, meeting her friends' gazes. She gulped silently, turning back towards the other pony with a rather worried expression. "...if you win, you can do what you want. But," she held up a hoof, narrowing her eyes, "You have to promise not to cheat in any way. Deal?"
The Dinky look-alike tilted her head, a green flame engulfed her for around ten seconds before finally fading away, revealing a large black creature, her emerald eyes glaring down at the white filly. She took the hoof with her own, speaking in a voice filled with venom. "Deal."
Now one may be thinking 'what did Vinyl have to say about this?'. The answer to that? Nothing. She was nowhere to be seen, after having gone to get some records from the now-dark basement.
"Fluttershy, are you sure this is alright?"
Currently, a familiar purple unicorn sat at the turntables, in front of a crowd of worried ponies. It seemed the whole town had returned by now, and even the sun had dimmed, showing that Discord, himself, was watching as well.
The timid mare nodded, smiling softly. "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be...nice." Her smile quickly became sheepish, quickly leaving the platform and joining the crowd down below.
The faithful student sighed, rubbing the side of her head. "...thank Celestia Vinyl gave me lessons..." Her horn lit up, transforming the stage around the two rappers.
Meanwhile, said rappers were glaring at each other so fiercely, they didn't notice the magical special effects spawning around them.
The lavender mare stood there for the longest time, trying to calm herself. Searching the crowd, a familiar pair of compassionate teal eyes caught her own violet ones. Smiling bashfully, she straightened up and put on the music, determined to do her best for her secret crush.
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
VS.
BEGIN!
I see mini-marshmallow has come out to play.
Too bad she messes up when she does things her way.
I'm amazed that you can cause mass destruction -
All beginning with just a small spool of ribbon!
You can have every word ever made, Dictionary.
It still won't be enough to stop this visionary!
You really thing you have the slightest chance of victory?
You'd have better luck bucking a zap apple tree!
Time to teach this bug a lesson, and she'd better learn.
You're the moth, I'm the flame, now let's see you burn!
Let's flip through my pages and find a synonym
For 'crushed Changeling queen' when Sweetie takes the win!
Think about what you're doing, Miss Perforated.
Would your sisters be glad that you've become so jaded?
You fail at all you do and Canterlot is proof.
I'll stomp on you and scrape the mess off my hoof!
Just how are you gonna battle against me, you foal?
I'm a fire ruby - you aren't even a lump of coal.
You shouldn't have dared to follow this course.
You see, there's a reason why I'm called Bad Horse!
I can read you as easily as one can swim in a lake.
Should I mention your feelings towards a certain drake?
I see you're trying real hard, but it's just no use.
I'll mess you up worse than your toast and your juice!
We all know you're lying just to save your ugly flank.
You want the captain all to yourself, you skank!
I'd prefer a relationship from friendship and trust.
You can keep your system of fake love and lust!
I'll take a Daedric sword and chop you into small bits,
Then kick the remains into a bottomless pit!
If I could travel through dimensions, one fact would ring true -
The saddest joke that I'll ever know will be you!
Who has rap skills with the force of Tartarus?
Is it Sweetie Derelle? Nope! Chrysalis!
Sure, you can sing, but you can't rap worth jack.
Right now, you sound just like 'Becca Black!
You see, Dumb Belle, I don't have to try anything funny
'Cause I'd give Buck Norris a run for his money!
You're supposed to be smart, but I just don't see it.
I'm beating you so hard, you're about to rage quit!
I can't burn the land or boil the sea,
But I'll clip your wings and take your sky completely!
You'll be falling down hard on the concrete, C,
Then wake up to curse both gravity and Sweetie!
I'll make you take arrows to all of your knees.
You'll have no choice but to give the win to me!
You give me lemons, but I won't make lemonade.
I'll use them to burn the sad rhymes that you made!
WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!
This chapter's rap battles are thanks to Twilightclopple! I'm so glad I finally got this out there! :D Two and a half weeks of work finally paid off!~ Also, Buck Norris = Chuck Norris. Slightly ponified name. And 'Becca Black should be fairly obvious.
"Too bad you can't focus on your studies that well."
...please be quiet, Vi...oh, and if this isn't up to your 'standards', let me point out that Chrysalis was being a stubborn, uncooperative mule, and Sweetie is just a filly. So please, judge neither me nor them.
Anyways, I'll probably be doing collegework for a while. At least until I get a healthy routine down.
But first, AnimeCon! BUCK YEAH!
"Aww, yeah! E, 'Shy and I are gonna have fun! Auron, Dr. Adorable, and Sonya Blade!"
Have a nice day!
Enigma out.~