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// My Life Sucks 
// Story: The Janitor of Canterlot Castle 
// by Lavaman 
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	Okay, so ya know how Canterlot has this big freakin' castle? And ya know how it's pretty and all that stuff? Well, it doesn't stay pretty by itself, oh no! It has a workforce of one pony keeping it clean 24/7. Yeah, and that pony is me, Pillows. Yeah... not the best name ever, but you can take that up with my parents in the nut house. (That's where they put crazy ponies, if you didn't know.)

Okay, now imagine this: you're in one of the many hallways of Canterlot castle. In the middle of the hallway is a brown pony with a black mane and a video game controller for a cutie mark. He is mopping the floor and is wearing headphones, looking as bored as can be. Well... that's me. Yeah, the one with the weird name.

So, my life sucks. It's like life saw me, said "Nope!" and then took the world's largest crap all over me until its stomach was completely empty. So it then ate some food and came back two days later and did it again. Yeah, that's the best way to describe it. Sadly, it's also my pickup line. Yeah, not too many dates come my way.

Even though it sounds like I have nothing good in my life, there is one thing I always look forward every Saturday. That is my video game programming lesson with somepony named "Silent Chuck". I don't know his real name; but I do know he's a wanted fugitive in five countries and has had his tongue chopped off. Now you know why he's named Silent Chuck. He's kinda shady, he always wears a fedora and a trench coat, and the only way he communicates with me is via writing-on-paper. No tongue, remember?

So, every Saturday, I take a day off from work. Yes, I work six days a week because I have to pay rent and feed myself. Anyway, every Saturday I go down a dark alley way and into this place called "The Warehouse". I have to use the secret knock, which is three taps on the door, then another tap after five seconds. Oops! Guess it isn't a secret anymore. Silent Chuck is gonna kill me... Anyway, when I enter the dark, musty warehouse, Silent Chuck is there in his usual get up with an old beat-up computer. That's when he teaches me to program video games. 

And that's pretty much the positive side of my life. I wanted to start out this story happy, but that's kinda hard. So, the apartment I live in is run down. I'm the only one living there besides this fat slob named Couch Potato. I call him Mr. Butt. Why? Because in the middle of the night, when I'm trying to sleep, all I hear is constant noise from his television. I've asked him to turn it down about fifty times but he just screams "I have rights!" and then slams the door on my face. I pray to Celestia, who is actually my boss, that he will one day get evicted and go to jail. She never answers my prayers.

On top of that, my job sucks! I only get paid two bits an hour, and my rent is one-hundred bits. Yeah, I have to put in at least fifty hours of work per month, while keeping taxes and food paid. I only hope I can get a job as a game programmer.

Oh! I almost forgot. There's this other thing in my life that makes me happy sometimes. I have a serious crush. We are pretty much opposites, but I still have a major crush on her. Octavia. I know right? Probably the only thing we have in common is that we both like classical music. I've yet to even make an impression on her.

Anyway, enough jibber jabber. Let's get this story rolling!