It's the day after Winter Wrap Up. I'd held off this long to call the Watchers because first of all everyone is exhausted from the long haul, and second I wanted to go over Nightmare Moon's suspicions. But no way to cut it, there's at least grounds for those suspicions... I just pray we're wrong.
So there I sit in the couch of my home, head in my hands... I've decided to wait until everypony arrives before telling anyone, even Savanna. It doesn't take long. By 8 the doorbell rings, and I rise to my feet to answer it.
I hear Savanna come down the stairs, and then walk over as she peeks over my shoulder. “Who dat?"
"The whole crew," I reply as I open the door. Doc, Bonbon, Zecora, and Minuet trot in with two unicorns I have yet to introduce to Savanna. Funny enough every time I see them it's like looking at a recolor of the same pony, only one is yellow with blue hair, and the other it white with bubblegum pink hair.
I gesture between them, "Savanna, this is Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine. They work in Canterlot with Minuet."
She waves awkwardly. "Uh.....Hi.....I'm Savanna." They wave back, giving each other a glance.
"Lemon Hearts works in the palace organizing big events," I inform her. "They both went to magic school with Twilight."
"Ah. Well, nice that everyone knows each other."
I look over my shoulder as Bonbon clears her throat. "I don't mean to break up the niceties, but you wouldn't call us like this on short notice for no reason. What's going on?"
I sigh through my teeth as we all go to the living room, and take our seats. "...I think I found the Manifest," I inform them bluntly.
Savanna blinks. "Well, that's good right?"
"I would say so," Doc agrees. "Something that powerful just roaming about would be disastrous."
Minuet asks, "Where is it?"
I rub my temples, "As you're all aware we turned our attention to goals in our search... The day before yesterday I saw a clear indicator of where it might be."
"Evidence," Bonbon says impatiently.
I sigh, "I was helping Sav in Carousel Boutique when Rarity's little sister Sweetie Belle came in for a beanie. And she took it with magic, green magic in a perfect levitation spell."
Zecora taps her chin, "I admit such news does make my blood grow colder. Such a feat should be beyond her until she is older."
Twinkle Shine raises an eyebrow, "Hold on Harley, just because her magic is green doesn't mean she has the Manifest. Lots of ponies have green magic. Our magical aura is usually the same color as our eyes, unless we have a personal preference otherwise."
"Well I think we should check just in case." Sav pips in.
"My thoughts exactly," I agree. "I'll update the princesses. Zecora, Minuet, any chance you two could put your heads together for some kind of sensor just to be sure?"
Minuet scratches the back of her head, "Maybe... I'd need some trace of the Manifest to be certain though."
I nod, and head up to my room, coming back down with the little book. "I originally got it out of this."
Zecora frowns, "Should traces remain in the covers of that book, I might brew something to help us look."
"Thanks," I say as I give it to Zecora. "Not sure why we didn't think of this sooner... It'd have saved us a good bit of time, and effort."
"To be fair we didn't have any such sensors when I was hunting this thing in Celestia's agency," Bonbon speaks up. "But we didn't have access to a zebra sage at the time either. Until this sensor is completed though I suggest we start a tailing detail on Sweetie Belle, just to be on the safe side."
"Uh, yeah. Good idea!" Sav says, it's pretty clear to me she has no idea what any of that is.
I sigh, and explain, "Zecora, and Minuet are going to make a potion, or device to tell us for sure if the Manifest is in Sweetie Belle. In the meantime Bonbon is saying we need to have some of our members following Sweetie Belle in case she gives off any other signs of having the Manifest inside her."
"Oh....Awesome."
"Which is gonna be our job," I continue. "With my curse I can alert everyone if something happens, plus Rarity trusts the both of us so we can just say we're going to foalsit for her."
"Sounds good."
"So what about the rest of us," Doc asks.
"There's still a chance Sweetie isn't the Manifest, and I really hope she isn't," I reply. "The rest of you keep your eyes peeled, look for any sign of the Manifest in the other foals. Today's a school day so they should be all gathered for observation. Any other questions?"
"Just one. When do we start?" Savanna cracks her knuckles all casually as she leans on my shoulder.
"Now," I reply. "If that Manifest was going to kill me then just imagine what it's doing to whatever filly, or colt it's hiding in."
"Well then let's get going."
And with that we all head out. I take a few minutes to write an update to Luna in the magic journal before headed for Carousel Boutique with Sav. News is floating around town, though in the muttered tones passing between ponies I can't quite make out what they're saying.
Nightmare, can you hear them?
Yes. A filly named Diamond Tiara has gotten her Cutie Mark within the last few days.
I stiffen a bit, and smile at that. "Oooohhhh... Episode alert!"
"Coolness....Uh, what episode?"
"Ugh, what was it called...? It was a Cutie Mark Crusader episode, those I wasn't as interested in. Same with most Spike centered episodes... But in this one the Cutie Mark Crusaders come to be. It's an Applebloom episode."
"Cool. I like her. "
I smirk, and stop outside Rarity's place. "You ready for this?"
"I suppose.....Why?...."
I open the door, the little bell signaling our arrival. Rarity calls, "Just a minute!"
A glance around the room shows she's packing up her winter clothes for storage. I'm looking over the stuff, and while my back is turned Rarity's fluffy white cat meanders between Savanna's legs.
Sav gasps, "Kitty!" She bends down to pet the cat almost immediately.
I look over, and my eyes go wide. "Uh, careful Sav, Opal can be pretty nasty..." I trail off though as Opal looks up at Savanna, then lies on her stomach sleepily. "Uh... Sometimes...?"
"You were saying?" She raises a brow as she scratches the kitty’s lower back.
Opal arches her back into the scratching, and purrs. I smile at that, and then look over as Rarity walks in.
"Oh, hello darlings!" She blinks in mild surprise at Opal, and then smiles up at me, "How can I help you?"
"Oh, I was just hoping to spend the day with Sweetie Belle," I reply. "You seem pretty busy so I figure it's a win-win to get her out of your mane."
"True, she does get a bit bothersome when she's bored," Rarity remarks, and I smile at memories of Sisterhoof Social... As well as Sweetie Bot from Friendship is Witchcraft. Rarity brings me back to the present however when she nods. "Alright then, she gets out of school in about four hours, let me write you up a note so Cheerilee knows you have my permission."
"Been there done that."Savanna shakes head in disdain. "Wonder if school here sucks as much as it does back home."
I consider the question. "...Yes, and no... But Cheerilee is a great teacher, and a wonderful pony."
Rarity gives me the note, "Now then, will that be all?"
"I believe so," Savanna nods
"Actually I wanted to see if I could place an order in advance for some outfits," I reply. "See, we don't have much in the way of formal wear for the Grand Galloping Gala, and so had an idea of what I would want to wear. If I came by with a picture or two do you think you could work your magic?"
"I'll do my best Harley, but I've quite a bit already on my plate as it is I'm afraid I won't even be able to start on them for quite some time," Rarity informs me.
"Fine by me," I say with a nod. "Then we'll leave you be." I open the front door with a wave to Rarity who waves back to us with a cheerful smile.
Savanna follows after me and folds her hands behind her back as we walk. "So what's next on the agenda?"
"Pick up Sweetie Belle in four hours... Plenty of time for an fine artist like you to get to work on those pictures for Rarity." I give her a grin, and a wink.
Saw that.
Stop.
Savanna raise a brow with a playful smirk. "What? Are you sweet talkin’ me?"
"I told Rarity I had an idea for our outfits to the Gala." Then I tip an imaginary Top Hat to her, and in my best British accent I say, "Call me Frye... Jacob Frye."
She tightens her lips and clicks her tongue. "Gotcha."
"Figured it's a classy look, and we would match," I say. "Plus we'd match. I've been thinking of trying to convince folks that Assassin's Creed clothing is the formal wear for our kind, in the upper elite. Just imagine walking into the Gala dressed as Ezio, or Edward."
"Fuck yeah dude! I'm so down for that."
I snicker, and put my thumbs in my pockets, "I thought you might be. How about I run to grab your drawing supplies, and meet you at Sugarcube Corner? I've been dying for a slice of pie lately..."
"Hit me up."
I blink, "...The way you talk still confuses me, Country Girl."
She rolls her eyes and leans on one foot. "You'll live."
While she's not looking I suddenly shoot out a hand to tickle her side, grinning. I just love messing with my friends, and making them smile.
"YE-SHNA!" Savanna yells out jumps away from me.
I snicker, and laugh, "The fuck was THAT?!"
She sticks her tongue out at me and then suddenly spins around with her back to me and falls in my direction.
On reflex I lunge to catch her, and raise an eyebrow down at her. "What the..."
She smiles sheepishly up at me. "Random trust fall."
I sigh, and push her to her feet, "I swear one time you'll do that, and I'll let you drop. Warning you now."
"It's cool. My friends back home do that too. Eh, toughens me up when I hit the ground."
That image makes me cringe inside.
You won't let her fall.
...No I suppose I wouldn't. Can't stand to see someone in pain... Save for certain occasions.
"And then proceed to sit on me when I AM on the ground.....Asssholes."
I snicker at that, and cross my arms, and start walking. "Heh... Oh I'm not laughing at you, just... A story of something similar that I kinda remember."
"Ah, care to share? They can't be as bad as Morgan?"
"Who?"
"She’s my friend that peed on my kitchen floor."
I raise my eyebrows at that, "...Fascinating... Maybe a story for another time? I really want that pie."
"You really sound like Dean Winchester right now."
"From Supernatural?" I tilt my head, "Huh, and I never saw the show... Guess I regret something about leaving Earth behind after all."
"Psh! I have the first 5 seasons on my phone."
"And that regret is quickly shot in the chest with a boomstick," I state brightly, and give her a wide smile.
"I smell a marathon! But yeah.....Pie sounds nice..."
I slip my ring off after she tells me where she keeps her sketchbook, and then take off to the house to get it. Nice to see all that running with Bonbon in the mornings has really thinned me out, and started making me pretty fast even with my ring on. It takes me several minutes, but then I'm waiting for her at Sugercube Corner, saving us a spot at a table outside.
Savanna grumbles as she begins her way there. "Stupid speed, frickin short legs."
I snicker, "Sorry, just trying to save time... Besides, I figured out a drawback to using it even in short bursts like that."
She plops down in a chair and leans on the table on her arms.
"Oh really?"
I nod, "It's not by much, but every time I slip this ring off I'm aging super fast by your terms. Think of it as someone buying smokes. A couple bucks doesn't seem like much, but look at how it stacks up over the course of a year."
"Ah.......So.....It kinda gets old fast?" She wiggles her brows.
"I do," I reply, ignoring her attempt at humor. "Imagine being... 30. But the body of a 50 year old. Or 40 with the body of an 80 year old. That's basically my future if I have to keep using it so much."
"That stinks....anyway go fix it?"
"Not really," I sigh. "Not that I can think of... Still, so long as I have a part to play in this world then I suppose when I need a retirement home then ones in Equestria can't be that bad."
"I'll make sure to visit.....So we get little Belle, and watch her. How long will we have her?"
I shrug, "We watch her until the sensor is ready, and we find out whether or not she's actually the Manifest."
"Sounds like a plan."
I pass her the art supplies as I order us some milkshakes, and ask, "What kind of pie do you like most?"
"Pecan." She responds as she flips through her sketchbook to a clean pages.
"More a fan of lemon, or Apple a la Mode myself," I comment.
"Yeah, lemon is one of my favs too."
"Ooo, and Key Lime?"
"If it's done right and has graham cracker crust."
I chuckle, and take my time with the pie after it arrives. Mostly I spend my time watching the townsfolk, and how they all act. Some cast glances at us, but none seem especially sour to see us.
"So peaceful," I mutter after a long while, and I check my phone for the time. "Hm... School's out in an hour. Wanna start walking?"
"Yeah. Sounds good." She stands and stretches with a yawn and shakes her shoulders.
I get the last of our pie packed up. Then as I stand I ask, "How are the drawings coming so far?"
"Good...I guess, except for the part where I dropped that bite of pecan on it." She flips it to the pages and hands it to me.
I take it with a raised eyebrow. "...Maybe over food was the wrong time to start this. Just think how Rarity would react."
"She'll live." She shrugs. "So, is it to your liking?"
"Good enough for me, but if you're not careful then who knows how the end result will turn out based on that picture?"
"Just tell her dripped stuff on it."
"Kinda missing my point..."
We banter, and bicker all the way to the school house, and we arrive not two minutes before the bell rings to announce the classes dismissed for the day.
"Ah, the sound of freedom." Savanna comments with a grin.
I elbow her softly as we spot Applebloom leaving with her pal Twist. I just give them a wave though before headed inside to find Cheerilee.
"Wait, what am I supposed to do?!"
"Entertain yourself," I call back. "Or come meet Cheerilee, I don't care which."
"Okay!"
You both are an odd pair.
We're not a pairing!
I didn't say that... I just meant you both are interesting to watch interact.
I simmer quietly in my head as I wait for Cheerilee to finish talking with some parents, and then handing off the note to her.
"Aayyyyy! Look who I found." Savanna walks up to me and then steps aside to show the filly that we're keeping an eye on.
Sweetie Belle smiles up at me, "Hi Harley! So I'm coming to your house to play today?"
I nod, "Yeah, sound like fun?"
"Absolutely!" The little white filly bounces on the spot, kicking her legs around with every liftoff.
Savanna squeals and picks up the pony. "Goddamnit you're adorable!"
I can't help laughing out loud as Cheerilee giggles into a hoof. Sweetie takes the affection in stride, hugging Savanna around the neck like the world's warmest, and most adorable living marshmallow.
Savanna cuddles the pony and shoots me a grin. "Come on, let’s get going."
Cheerilee waves to us, "Have fun!"
I wave back, and start headed for my house. Savanna carries Sweetie the entire time and then gets an idea. "Hey Sweetie?"
"Mm-hm?" She looks up at her with big green eyes.
Savanna blinks at that, but keeps her mouth shut. "How would you feel about me braiding your mane. That was one of my specialties back home."
Sweetie considers it, "Um... I don't know..."
"Come on, I'll be gentle!"
"It's not that," she replies. "It's just... Silver Spoon braids her hair..."
"Uh...Who?" Savanna questions the pony with a raised brow.
"She's a bully," Sweetie replies. "She's always having around with Diamond Tiara, and making fun of us blank-flanks..."
"Ah yes," I sigh. "Really Diamond Tiara is the head of that, Silver Spoon is just the henchpony. Diamond Tiara's father Filthy Rich is pretty much the wealthiest pony in town. Not a bad guy if you ask me, it's his wife Spoiled Rich I take issue with..."
Savanna blinks then smirks.
"Oh I've dealt with chicks like that. You just have to get something that they don't have. In your case, double barrel french braids."
Sweetie tilts her head, "Double what, what braids?"
I do my best to explain, "Um... I think it's a style in Trottingham, or... Prance?"
LOOK OUT!
I blink, and turn just in time to have my legs taken out hard from under me. I hit the ground hard, face down in the dirt, and I groan in pain. Then I growl in frustration as I turn over, feeling something tangled in my legs.
What stares me back in the face is a filly Pegasus, orange in the coat, and with a purple mane and tail. Like Sweetie she has no Cutie Mark, and also like Sweetie I know this filly. With a sigh I open my legs to release her, and look around for the red scooter that no doubt carried her into me.
Savanna stares wide eyed. "What the frick-frack patty wack just happened?"
"I'm sorry," the little Pegasus says as she takes off her helmet. "I just lost control... I think I need a tune-up on my scooter."
"It's alright Scootaloo," I say as I get to my feet, and pick up her four-wheeled scooter to look it over. "Meh, Sav can probably do it once we get home."
The Pegasus blinks, "Wait, how do you know my name?"
Thinking fast I reply, "Well... You're pretty well talked about among the adults. Not many of us see fillies as energetic as you."
"Really? Cool!" She flutters her itty-bitty wings like a humming bird as she hops.
Huh, she really does look like a Chibi recolor of Rainbow Dash...
"Wait, what am I doing? I'm still recovering from the fact that Harley kissed the ground." Savanna snorts a laugh and gives me a goofy grin.
I give her a frown, and offer her the scooter as I take Sweetie Belle from her. "Scootaloo is quite the little daredevil, and very handy on that thing. Think you can see why she lost control?"
"I guess. Could possibly be an alignment issue."
"Alright then." I set Sweetie on the ground, and she trots up to Scootaloo.
"You're not hurt are you?" Sweetie tilts her head.
"Just my pride," Scootaloo replies. "I'm Scootaloo, what's your name?"
"Sweetie Belle!" She smiles, and the two bump hooves.
Meanwhile my mind has crashed with the realization of what just happened, and I put a hand on Savanna's shoulder to steady myself.
She looks over and her grin slowly falls. "Hey, you okay?"
I nod as my own smile grows, "Yeah... Uh, let's get home..."
Savanna doesn't look convinced, but she lets it go. "C'mon you two, time to go home."
Scootaloo looks up at us, "Oh? Can you really fix my scooter?"
"I'll do my best kiddo." Sav asures and gives a thumbs up.
"Whoo-hoo!" She gives a jump for joy as I lead them to the house.
"There's a pool out back if you guys fancy a swim," I comment.
Scootaloo tilts her head, "How do you 'fancy a swim?' Is it that thing where a bunch of ponies are swimming all the same way, and stuff?"
"No, that's synchronized swimming," Sweetie explains. "He's just saying if we want to then we can use the pool. My big sister talks like that sometimes."
"Oh! Neat!" The two fillies head through the house to the back yard. Once they're out of sight I start energetically pumping my fist in the air, trying to keep my fangasm as silent as I can.
Savanna stares at me. "Uh......Are you dying or something?"
"Maybe," I practically squeal, and flop on the couch. "Oh man, it's like seeing... No, taking part in a deleted scene!"
Savanna shakes her head with a chuckle and throws a pillow at me, also plopping on the couch with her legs resting on the arm and with her head on my lap. "Or bloopers....Eh, depending on whatever."
I look down at her with a smile, "No, definitely deleted scene. See, in the course of the series from what I saw, we never learned how Sweetie, and Scoots met. They just crawled out from under a table at Diamond Tiara's party to stand up for Applebloom, and the CMC was born. Getting to experience what we just did was well worth the bruises."
"Ah. Guess I see your point."
I reach a hand up, and tug on a lock of hair casually, "So... We're still on a mission, and those kids need a lifeguard."
"Well better get to Hasselhoff. I got a scooter to fix." Sav says and sits up.
I nod, and as I stand I smack the side of her head with my pillow, and then jump out of range of a counterattack with a laugh before running up the stairs to get my swimming shorts on.
"Wow asshole!" She yells after me with a laugh and stands to get the flawed scooter.
The visit is pretty nice, the kids have fun in the pool for a while. Sweetie is scared to get in the deeper parts without floaties, but that's alright by me. All in all there's no signs though of Sweetie being the manifest just yet... Maybe I was wrong.
The fun only lasts a few hours though. There's not much in the way of pool toys, and other fun items. So I suggest we head to town so they can pick some out for future visits. I like kids, and hearing them having fun makes me a happy camper.
"So, scooter is fixed and greased... And I added brakes." Savanna says as we walk to town. "So your poor little head doesn't get ran over again."
"Thanks a ton!" Scootaloo hugs her around a leg.
"Mowar~"
Sweetie shrieks, and jumps onto the couch as Cubby walks through the room. "What the heck?! That cat's as big as me!" Even Scootaloo is trying to climb up Savanna to get away as Cubby comes over to sniff her.
"What? Oh calm down it's just Cubby." Savanna says and grins down at the kitty.
Scootaloo is perched on her shoulders by this point, and my 30 pound kitty stretches up to sniff her tail, putting his paws on Savanna's hips. Scootaloo quickly jerks her tail away, and whimpers a bit. Cubby's tail is flicking slightly... Suddenly I don't find the Bronies who compared the flightless filly to a chicken funny in the least.
"Alright alright.....You guys are hurt'n me." She pries Cubby’s claws off her hips and sets the two ponies on a table, rubbing her shoulders.
I chuckle as I reach down, and scratch the top of Cubby's head with a finger, to which he closes his eyes with a loud purr. "Ah he's just a big sweetheart. He used to be afraid of folks, but he won't hurt you... Provided you don't try to pick him up."
"So not a problem," Scootaloo informs me.
I decide to get Cubby's harness on him, and take him on a walk with us as we head out to town. The fillies make an effort to stay far from him, but he seems to have lost interest in them by this point.
Savanna sighs at the fillies. "You two are gonna get lost walking that far from us."
They glance at each other, and decide to walk on either side of her rather than with Cubby and I.
It doesn't take us long to reach the market part of town, and the fillies are instantly drawn to the toy store. I smile as they
rush inside, but my eyes are drawn to Doc, and Bonbon chatting just outside an alleyway.
Savanna blinks and nods her head. "I'll look after the two."
I nod, and walk over to them. "Hey, what's new?"
They look up at me before glancing around. Doc replies, "The sensor is coming along I hear. They managed to identify some kind of signature left by the Manifest. It seems that once Zecora has her potion ready to provide the raw traces, Minuet's device should lead us to it. The range is uncertain though."
"And we've been looking," Bonbon adds in. "I swiped a copy of all the foals enrolled at the school, and we're going down the list. At that rate it could take days to weeks in order to properly investigate. What about you?"
"Nothing," I reply. "Sweetie hasn't even tried to tap her magic yet so no form of evidence has been forthcoming." I cross my arms with a sigh, "I'm looking forward to getting this behind us... At least it's a dry run for profile 1 of the Black File."
They glance to each other, and nod. Then Doc spots Derpy over by Savanna, and smiles, "Well, matters to be handled over time I'm sure. For now, life as usual."
"Agreed," Bonbon nods as we head for our friends. "I still have some shopping to do. Harley I've been meaning to ask, have you found a job yet?"
"I figure I'd make a killing in construction..."
That coaxes a smile out of her, "So nothing yet?"
I shake my head, "No, but with the focus of this episode I'll get a chance to pitch some ideas for money-makers from my world to the Rich family. Maybe some board games, or script concepts, something."
Bonbon shrugs, "I suppose it's a start. I hope it works out."
"Me too," I reply as we meet up with Savanna. I notice Derpy carrying a basket, "Hm? What's that?"
"Muffins," she replies as she opens the basket. "Anypony want some?"
Savanna quickly grabs one and shoves it into her mouth. I take one too, and bit casually into it. "Mm! Blueberry, my favorite!"
"Yeah! They taste even better with my favorite sauce!"
"Sauce on a muffin?" I shrug, and chalk it up to Derpy being Derpy as I peek in the shop window for our fillies. I can hear Derpy digging around in her basket behind me, but I ignore it. I'm watching Scootaloo looking over a pool toy that resembles a frog on a lilypad with a little press to make it squirt folks. Sweetie however is looking up at a rack of pool noodles... And my heart skips a beat when she calls on her magic to levitate a pink one down to her. I'm careful to watch her eyes for any sign of the Manifest, but with the natural lime-green hue of her eyes it's too hard to tell... Especially this far away...
"Holy shit." Savanna says over my shoulder with a mouth full of muffin. "Suspicion has risen."
I nod, and sigh, pressing my lips together in concern.
"Here you go," I hear Derpy say, and in the reflection of the window I see her offering Savanna a colorful vial. I only pay it a soft glance though before turning my attention back through the window to where Sweetie is now looking over a collection of floaties, and goggles.
Savanna takes it and pours it over the muffin before she takes a large bite.
Then her eyes go wide as she swallows...
Um... Harley?
Yes?
Recall ever making a joke of "tasting the rainbow?"
...Yes... And?
"Goddamnit!" Savanna clamps a hand over her mouth and bolts around into the alley, and the sound of her throwing up harshly sounds.
I nearly jumped out of my skin at that, and turn. Doc, and Bonbon are likewise distraught, faces turning bright red. Bonbon is panting, and has dropped to the ground, resorting to stuffing dirt in her mouth. Doc grabs me, shaking me by the hips with a crazed look in his eyes. "BURN WITH ME!!!"
Oh shit, rainbows!
I look to Derpy, and shout, "Water! Now!"
She snaps a salute before popping a whole muffin covered in liquid rainbow in her mouth, and flies off. The way she acts you'd think it had been covered in honey.
Holy... Is she even Equine?!
I have no idea...
There's a loud thud thud that comes from the alley as Savanna collapses to the ground. "WHY?!"
I jump, and run to her, lifting her bridal style, "It's okay, you're gonna be alright!" I carry her back to the others, and hug her softly. "Breathe Sav, just breathe..."
"I already drank bleach as kid, this fells 5 times worse...." she groans
"It's okay," I mutter as I wipe sweat from her forehead.
The sun gets blocked out as Derpy brings a puffy white cloud over our heads. I smile, and shout, "Mouths open!" Then Derpy starts hopping on the could, literally pouring water down on the four of us.
Savanna does, drinking heavily. "Remind me never to eat skittles ever again...."
"I just knew a skittles joke would find its way in there somehow," I mutter.
By the time the cloud is empty my friends are all panting, their flaming throats quenched, and all of us soaked to the bone. Savanna wipes her mouth and sits up slowly.
"I feel like a clogged sink..." she says, her voice now deeper.
I blink, "Are... Are you alright?"
"Never again," Bonbon moans, and her hoof flies to her throat. She sounds completely different now, "What the?!" Her voice is almost a high falsetto.
"Great.....That....Whatever the hell it was probably damaged our vocal cords, or throats." Savanna says and glares at the pony who gave them all the rainbow.
Derpy smiles obliviously, and waves from the top of the cloud.
"We should probably get you to the doctor," I sigh. "All three of you."
Doc works his facial muscles a bit, and sighs. His voice has dropped a bit too, and it sounds like it hurts to use a Trottingham accent so he sounds a lot more... I guess American is the best way to describe it. "Well I doubt it's permanent. Or life threatening, so we can afford to wait a while. We all have jobs to do after all."
"Great..." Sav says and stands up to dust herself off.
I wave Derpy off, and she takes the cloud elsewhere to bust it probably. "We could use some towels..."
A yellow earth pony with a curly orange mane, and carrots for a Cutie Mark trots over with towels on her back. "Are you all alright?"
"Yeah, thanks Carrot Top," I reply as I take a towel for myself.
Savanna takes one and throws it over her shoulder before she balls up her shirt and wrings it out with a huff.
I look pointedly away as she does, and turn as Sweetie pokes her head out the door. "Harley, we're ready to pay... What happened out here?"
"Hell." Savanna says with a blank face and monotone voice.
Sweetie looks confused, and I whisper to Savanna, "Here it's called Tartarus."
"Great... Can we go home now? I need to brush my teeth... And shower." She sighs and rubs her eyes.
I nod, and pat her back. "Yeah... You go on ahead without me. I lost Cubby in the confusion so I better find him." I pull out my checkbook, and carefully write a check on the damp paper before passing it to Sweetie Belle. "That should be plenty, get the difference cashed as change."
Sweetie nods, taking the check in her magic before ducking back into the store. A fact not lost on our fellow Watchers who give me looks that say they understand the implications.
Savanna goes in with her to help carry the various pool toys.
"Okay, meet you at home then."
I wave goodbye to her as I start looking around for my kitty. "Aw Cubby... Where's my wild cat at?"
-----------
It took the better part of an hour to find Cubby hiding under a cart, and trying to coax him out. A lightning storm predated our arrival to Equestria after all, I don't think he'll be getting over that one anytime soon. But eventually I make it back to the house to see the fillies having a blast in the pool.
"Sav," I call out. "Hey Miss Thing, you here?!"
"No. I'm dead," is the sarcastic reply I get.
I roll my eyes, and release Cubby before I start looking around for her. She's on the floor by the couch, with what looks like hoof prints on her back. "They thought I'd be a good idea to try and get me to swim...."
"Uh-huh..." I blink, then slowly bring out my phone to take a picture.
"Ponies really are the devil....." she mutters into the floor and groans.
"Mm-hm," I mutter as I take the picture. "What happened anyways?"
"I was trampled......And they tried to drag me out with them."
"'Tried' being the operative word it seems," I mutter as I finish applying my new phone background, and then help her up onto the couch. "Tell you what, how about we take them to the spa? Hot tub, massage, the whole bit. Might do everyone a bit of good."
"Sounds nice...."
I step outside, and call, "Fillies! Bring it in!"
They swim out of the pool, and shake themselves off before trotting over. "Yeah?" Scootaloo tilts her head up at me.
I kneel, and low my voice a bit. "Hey, Savanna's a bit worn out right now so how about we make a trip to the spa?"
Sweetie deflates a bit, "Aw, but we just got all these neat toys..."
"I know, and they'll be here any time you come over to play, I promise," I reply. "But please? The spa has a hot tub..." I raise an eyebrow as their stomachs rumble a bit. "...And snacks."
They glance at each other, and then sigh. "Alright," Sweetie mumbles, and the three of us set about putting the toys away. Fifteen minutes later we're off to the Ponyville Spa.
" Great....More walking......God I wish I had a car...." Savanna grumps and crosses her arms.
"What's a car?" Scootaloo looks up at her curiously.
"This badass machine that can go fast, and you can customize it with mods.....illegal mods....But still, mods."
Scootaloo perks her ears, "Fast? How fast?"
And here we go...
Savanna brightens up. "Well, depends on the make and model, and if it's stock. Most stock cars that are straight from the factory aren't very fast....Well, except for suboobies and Hellcats. But those are rally and muscle cars."
Scootaloo tilts her head with a very confused look, "O...kay?"
"Sav, trust me, the last thing you want is that filly behind the wheel of a F4 racer from the Indie 500," I inform her.
Scootaloo pouts at me, "I said sorry for crashing into you."
"And that's what roll cages are for...."
"Why would you roll a cage?" Sweetie looks up at her curiously. "Wouldn't that hurt the animal inside?"
"Nah, keeps the car from crushing you if you crash..."
"Wow," Scootaloo mutters. "This stuff sounds awesome!" She jumps up, beating her tiny wings rapidly for a few seconds of lift.
"Damn right it's awesome." Savanna says
"Grease monkeys the both of you," I chuckle. "The spa's not too much farther. To be honest I'm curious, I've never been to one of these... Save for a quick trip in a tanning booth in the middle of winter."
Savanna rolls her eyes. "Who are you, Trump?"
I frown at her, "No, why? It was a one-time thing, and it actually helped me retain heat through the season... One of the few good things my biological grandmother ever did for me."
"Bio-what?" Scootaloo furrows her eyebrows.
"I think he means his mom's mom," Sweetie replies. "Why do you say that though Harley? What's she like?"
"Evil," I reply simply as we cross a bridge. "Ah, there's the spa."
"I'd make a political joke but Harley might punch me in face." Savanna quips and holds the door open for us.
Sweet's raises an eyebrow while Scoots gives me a scared look so I clarify, "She's joking. I might have had half a terrible family, but I lucked out with the best dad in history. One lesson he taught me that I just can't go against by sheer instinct is to never hit a woman."
Savanna raises a brow. "Well he's right. I was told the same with men."
"Okay then..." Sweetie looks around the lobby, "Huh, doesn't look like there's that many ponies here."
"No waiting then," I comment. "Sav, you know what you want?"
"Psh! No! I never been in one of these before."
I look around, and pick up a pamphlet which serves as a menu for their offered services. "Hm... Exploiting scrub, seaweed wrap, a sauna, mud bath, hot tub, mani/pedi, and oh a tanning booth! I wonder if it's big enough for me." I offer it to her, "They got a bunch of massages too... Take my word for it, no one order the Extra Strength Hot Stone Deep Tissue massage."
"Why?"
"You think a couple fillies trampling you was bad? Wait until you see Bulk Biceps, he works here."
"I was being dramatic at that time… And… Bulk Biceps?... Who the hell?..."
The door opens, and a pink earth pony with a sea blue mane swept back with a hair band walks in. She smiles at us, speaking in a thick accent that more puts street on words rather that pronounces them differently. For the life of me I can't place it.
"Welcome to Ponyville Spa, and Physical Therapy," she says as she walks over. "My name is Aloe, and I'll be your specialist today. Does everyone know what they want?"
"I'll be taking a trip to the Sauna, Hot Tub, and the Tanning Bed," I reply with a smile.
"I ain't no bitch, so the extra strength whatever it was called!"
I facepalm, "Oh no..."
Suddenly one of the walls is smashed in as a seriously buff Pegasus slams through the wall wearing a uniform for the workers around here. White fur, deep red eyes, yellow mane in a short mohawk, and biceps as large as either of the fillies with us. Funny contrast are his wings are so small you would barely notice them, and don't appear capable of lifting this mound of muscle off the ground.
He snorts through his nose, and shouts, "YEAH!!! LET'S DO THIS!"
Aloe sighs with a look that says her patience is being tested, and that this isn't the first time he's done this. "Bulk..."
"I immediately regret this choice....." Savanna squeaks with small pupils, before it fades. "Ah whatever! Bring it on!"
"Would you prefer to be buried, or cremated," I ask sarcastically. "Aloe, you and Lotus I trust with the fillies."
Bulk smiles widely, and leads Savanna into the back to his room.
I'm genuinely scared for her, when this happened to Spike even walking hurt for him, and he's a dragon so they can take a lot of abuse. They eat gemstones like candy for crying out loud!
From the room, I hear Savanna call, "Holy fuck! Awesome!"
I jerk, "The heck? I... I..." In my head I'm picturing. I'll stomping on her back like he did to Mr Cake once, but I figure if she's enjoying herself I won't get in the way of that.
Aloe leads us to the back where her twin takes the fillies aside for their relaxation program. Meanwhile I get a towel, and head for the sauna.
We're there enjoying ourselves for maybe an hour, or two until we're ready to leave. Scootaloo had shied away from the more feminine treatments of course, but all in all the fillies look about as refreshed as I feel.
"Holy shit tits and gravy! That was great!" Savanna bolts out of the doors with crazy energetic eyes.
I back up, putting the fillies behind me.
I know we share emotions, but just to confirm, we are both disturbed, correct?
Deeply disturbed...
"I CAN SMELL NOISE!"
And with that, Sav's eye droop, and shes falls face first into the ground.
Sweetie, and Scoots back up to the door, and the little unicorn gulps. "Well it's been very nice spending the day with you Harley, but... We shouldn't take up too much of your time."
"Yeah," Scootaloo agrees. "I, uh... I heard there was a party later. Wouldn't want to miss it!"
I blink, and smirk a bit as I pick up Savanna, "Yeah, you girls have fun. I'll go make sure Savanna is alright."
Savanna groans. "He HAVETH no FAITH LIKE HE MAN!"
"...Good luck with that," the fillies say before taking off out the door.
Once they're gone I look down at Sav, "Please tell me you're faking..."
Savanna hugs me around the neck. "Yup. Figured since those two ran me over I'd try to either creep them out, or scare them......which didn't really work."
I beg to differ.
"Yeah, I think it did just the trick," I agree, setting her on her feet. " Seriously, are you okay? I've seen two folks on the receiving end of Bulk's massages, both were in a lot of pain by the time it was over."
"Yeah! Being basically trampled by a pony is nothin’, now a horse… Well, considering my lifestyle that was fine. I handled it."
"...I had not considered that," I mutter, rubbing my chin. "Damn you're made of tough stuff. Lead maybe?"
Savanna flexes and then shrugs with a laugh, "I make pain my bitch."
I poke her a few times in the belly, "Uh-huh..."
She caves slightly with a giggle before she straightens up. "Hey! My abs are there! They just have a little padding....."
"Mm-hm," I chuckle, and give her a hug as an apology. Then I head for the door, "Come on, the party must be Diamond Tiara's Cute-Ceñera. A party to celebrate her getting her Cutie Mark. The climax of the episode is upon us... Just don't eat the cupcakes."
Savanna shivers and gags. "Never again am I eating anything related to a muffin...."
"No rainbows in these ones," I laugh. "They're just super crispy, and Pinkie didn't have the heart to throw them out I guess. Applebloom made them trying to get her Cutie Mark."
"Still...."
I reach over as we walk, and fold my thumb over my palm as I rub between her shoulders so my thumb knuckle offers a mild massage. It's an old trick my parents used to use to make me relax. "Chill, there's plenty of cake, and punch-OH!" I tilt my head back with a smile, "Berry Punch!"
Savanna blinks. "What? Is it not.....BERRY good?"
I groan, and reach up to tug a lock of hair on the back of her head. "Berry Punch is another fan-favorite pony. Honestly I'm not sure what to expect. The fandom portrays her as a drunk, but they also portrayed Lyra as a pony obsessed with humans, specifically their hands. They were off a bit about Lyra, so maybe Berry Punch too..."
"Sounds creepy so I hope so."
I snicker as Sugarcube Corner comes into view. I pick up the pace a bit with there being the promise of sweets, and good company ahead. "Pretty sure the fans were making mountains out of mole-hills. All she really did was... "
As we approach the front door a table scoots closer to us, and the earth pony Berry Punch stops by the table. She glances around, and then dips her face into the bowl to slurp up some punch before wiping her mouth with a hoof to go about her business.
"...That," I conclude, and shake my head with my hands in my coat pockets.
"Well then. That's gross...." Savanna says with a disgusted face
"Try to find Pinkie, see if she'll get more punch out here," I mutter, and step inside, headed for the dessert table.
"Yeah....Okay...." Savanna sighs and trudges through the crowd of ponies.
"Hey watch where you're stepping!"
I pause as I pick up a small plate, and look over to a certain pair of earth pony fillies... Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon themselves, all prettied up in their party dresses. Diamond is glaring up at Savanna, and growling softly as she smooths out her tail.
"Well maybe you should move the damn thing outta people's way." Savanna sasses with her own glare.
"How dare you! Do you know who I am?! This is my party, and-"
"Okay, everyone chill," I say as I walk over, a slice of cake on the plate in my hand. "It was an accident I'm sure."
Savanna ignores me and her glare at the pony gets harsher. "No, I don't! And frankly I don't care ! That doesn't give you the right to be a high horse bitch!"
Diamond gasps in shock, and on reflex I splat my cake into Savanna's face. "Shush," I hiss between my teeth as I take her by the ear, dragging her to the kitchen.
"Ow! Motherfucker! RAH!" She protest as she flicks the cake off her face as she's dragged.
Once alone I take her by the arms, and let her see how genuinely angry I am. "There is so much wrong with what you just did. First off, she's a kid! You don't talk to kids that way!"
"Well sorrrryyyy! Kinda hard to tell when she's all bedazzled like that!" She snaps and roughly shoves my hands off her.
"Are you kidding, she's so freaking tiny!" I cross my arms, and lean close to mutter, "Second, filly or not her family is extremely influential in Ponyville. Their family helped found this place hundreds of years ago, and her mother is president of the school board. Her parents aren't called Filthy Rich, and Spoiled Rich for nothing. They could be valuable assets to the Watchers so you swallow your pride around them unless you wanna explain to the princesses why we can't do our job!"
Savanna huffs heavily and looks away from me. "Fine."
"And lastly, ever heard of the Butterfly Effect? I told you coming in here we were nearing the climax of the episode, we can't afford to interfere with anything here. It could change the course of events way off from what I've seen, and we might as well be tying our own nooses. This place may look full of color, and cheer Savanna, but it's far more dangerous than Earth could ever be."
"Noted."
I sigh, and take a few breaths to calm myself. "Look... I know Diamond Tiara out there is insufferable right now, but in truth it's not her fault... She doesn't know any better way to be. Her mother has beaten it into her head that she's better than everypony not richer than her. Been told what to do, what to say, how to think... If anypony around here is the high-horse bitch it'd be Spoiled Rich."
I pat Savanna on the shoulder, "Don't worry, Diamond Tiara gets her redemption episode later down the road in Season 5, and received her comeuppance for her actions up to that point... We just watch it all unfold Sav. All will be well."
She sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Alright....Sorry for snapping."
"Hey, I know the kind of spitfire you are," I reply. "But you need to learn control, self-discipline. Otherwise this entire thing goes downhill... Can I trust you to keep a cool head through this party at least?"
She takes a deep breath and nods. "Yes."
I give her a soft hug, "Alright then, let's do this."
"You got it."
We step out to see Applebloom standing in the center of the room, the two bullies harassing her, mocking her for lack of a Cutie Mark. That is, until the two fillies we had been watching after all day crawl out from under a table, and show off their own blank flanks, standing up for Applebloom. It doesn't take long for the foals of the party to start clicking around the three blank flanks, leaving a steaming Diamond Tiara with a Silver Spoon trying in vain to cheer her up.
"See," I mutter to Savanna. "All will be well."
She just nods with a softer expression.
I watch Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon glare from a staircase at the other fillies as they start to have fun without them. The CMC have moved over to a table to discuss the foundation of the CMC, and Pinkie has brought out fresh punch. All in all it's a good day.
I'm just fetching Sav, and I some punch when a sudden movement catches my eye. Diamond Tiara has ducked out of sight behind the railing of the stairs, and from the look on Silver Spoon's face it was out of fright.
"Curious," I mutter, tapping Save with her glass, and subtly nodding my head back to the stairs as I look around for the source of DT's distress.
"Huh?" Savanna gulps down her mouth full of punch and looks over.
Then I spot it, and nudge her again. A well dressed stallion with a slicked-back mane, and moneybags for a Cutie Mark steps in. "That would be her father, Filthy Rich... Makes more sense now."
"Wow, he looks like a dick."
"Rich? Nah he's a nice guy at heart I think... I mean, he's a result of his upbringing, thinking money makes the world go around, but I always thought he was pretty decent from what I saw of him... Hey, let's go say hi!"
"Sure, whateves."
"Just... Don't call him by his first name," I warn her as we head over. "Mr Rich! Good morning!"
He looks up at me, and smiles. "Ah, Harley correct? Fancy bit of luck recently, coming into possession of a dragon hoard of all things. However did you manage?"
I shrug, and smile, "What can I say? It pays to have friends."
"Indeed," he agrees, turning a warm smile to Savanna. "And who is your lovely companion?"
"Careful Rich, you're a married stallion," I tease. He seems surprised at my statement, but we share a polite chuckle.
"I'm Savannna....Or Sav." She says respectively with a nod.
"Charmed," Mr Rich replies with a nod. "And what are your professions?"
"We're entrepreneurs," I reply. "We thought perhaps we could share bits of our world with Equestria... But we're lacking a sponsor."
"Well I would be willing to look over your contributions," Filthy Rich says as he shines a hoof on his chest. "After all, what are friends for?"
Savanna says nothing, she just let's me handle it as she leans on one foot.
Mr Rich looks around with furrowed eyebrows, "Where is my daughter? It's her party..."
"Perhaps she wasn't feeling well," I muse.
"Perhaps," Mr Rich agrees, and smiles. "Feels like only yesterday she was taking her first steps... Now it's her first step to becoming a fully grown mare."
"That's always fun," Savanna says
Rich raises an eyebrow at her, "Oh?"
Savanna blinks, "Oh what?"
"In what way do you consider growing up to be fun?"
"It's not.....l meant fun as in- know what I'm just going to shut my mouth." Savanna says and clamps a hand over her mouth.
I snicker, "Please forgive her, her mouth works faster than her brain."
Savanna lowers her eyelids at me and sighs.
Mr Rich chuckles once, "I see, well enjoy the party you two!" Then he starts walking around to find his daughter.
I raise an eyebrow at her, "See? Nice guy."
"I guess so..."
I finish my punch, and go back for more. Savanna sighs and leans against the wall as she scans the mass of ponies.
As I get our cups refilled I blink in surprise. Through a window in front of me I just saw Diamond Tiara's mother pass by. Curious I slowly ease the window up, and peek out. I see her headed between two buildings, Diamond Tiara's tail vanishing around the corner in front of her.
"...I'll be right back," I mutter to Savanna. "Hold my punch."
"Okay?" She grabs it and blinks at me with a tilted head, "What's wrong?"
"Just a hunch," I mutter, and slip off my ring. With time at a crawl I weave between the guests to get outside, and follow Spoiled Rich to the alley.
She, and Diamond Tiara are still walking, though slowly since my ring is still off. So I look around for a suitable hiding place, and opt for a bale of hay in a cart nearby.
Assassin's Creed anypony?
So I slip as carefully into the hay as I can, and coat myself under it before putting my ring back on, spying out through a hole in the side of the wagon.
"I'm sorry mother," Diamond Tiara sniffles, and wipes her eye. "Please don't be mad..."
"Mad? Mad? Dear I'm not mad..." She leans in close to her daughter with a scowl, "I'm absolutely livid." Diamond Tiara curls up on the ground with her ears folded back, and eyes pleading with her mother who looms over her. "You allowed yourself to be upstaged, and made a fool at the most important celebration of your life? What will others say decades down the road? That the heiress of the Rich family was upstaged by a bunch of blank flanks?" the way she says the last two words are as if she were trying to spit out something poisonous.
Yup, total bitch like I remember.
Harley, something else is afoot here. The way that filly shrinks away...
I blink in surprise, but she's right... The way Diamond Tiara is acting it's as if she expects to be... And then our suspicions are confirmed when Spoiled Rich practically stomps on her daughter's head, pressing the side of her face to the cobblestones under them.
"We will discuss this further when we get home," she seethes at her daughter. "And when we do-"
That's as far as I can let this go. I slip off my ring, and climb out of the wagon. My vision is tinted red from the shared rage of Nightmare Moon just as much as my own as I scoop up Spoiled Rich onto my shoulder, and put my ring back on. She's startled for half a second, and then starts to thrash as I lift her up, and slam her into the hay on her back. She opens her mouth perhaps to scream, or call for help. Whichever it is it dies in her throat as I pop out the Wolverine claws in my right gauntlet, and touch the tip of the middle one to her neck.
"Now you listen close," I snarl in my deepest growl. "You get only one warning. I'll be watching this filly very closely. She gets a cut, you get a scar. She gets a bruise, you break a bone. Police, military, and Celestia be damned, I will come for you..."
Spoiled is staring up at me in horror as I let the threat sink in, and then I back off. Diamond Tiara is look up at me in surprise, but I ignore her as I sheathe my claws, headed back for the party.
Never strike a woman, hm?
She doesn't know that.
Savanna looks up as I approach, it's pretty clear she notices my pissed off expression and lets her smile fall. "Hey, what's goin on?"
"Keep a close eye on Diamond Tiara," I reply, reigning myself in a bit to get my punch back from her. "A really close eye... Okay?"
She hands me it wearily and nods, "Alright....."
I sigh as I take a sip, and go hunting for a cupcake. Diamond Tiara rejoins the party a bit later, talking in hushed tones to Silver Spoon. They both shoot me looks of confusion, and curiosity when they think I'm not watching. But with Nightmare Moon acting like a sentient Spider Sense in my head I'm always watching.
Mind if I ask a question?
You just did, but go ahead.
Why did you not simply take evidence on your phone, and have Spoiled Rich arrested?
...Because, issues of continuity aside... I know how it feels to have a mother taken from you by the law. Even a terrible one...