//------------------------------// // A time of changes // Story: Requiem for a Pony // by The Pony //------------------------------// Tim Tebow and Drew Brees lived a happy after rejection but a new life. tebow was renowned for vmapires but Brees was known for being better than Tebow. Twilight was marrying everypony but nothing could do. But before long there was a werewolf. “I know what to so” as Drew Brees punches fists into the werewolf who bleeds. “Damn hell” Says werewolfs as it pulls out a gun and shoots but Drew catches bullets and throws them into the wereosl. “NO” The wolf starts to death. “There are a lot” Rarity came from divinity and exasperized Tebow. “HOLY WHAT” Tebow thought carefully. Rarity wasn’t okay. “But what to die” Drew continued to put werewolves inside other werewolves. “RunnIN!” Rarity rand flee but Tebow couldn’t “The werewolves are holding me” his yelling. “Tebow!” Drew Brees found a football somewhere and threw it through time to kill the werewolf in the past to free Tebow. “THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE DREW BREES!” Ray Lewis was in this story now. Then Ray Lewis and Drew Brees punched werewolves into the present and killd them. “How” Was all Tebow. “With guns” Ray Lewis gave Brees machetes and they started shooting with them at the zombie werewolves. “Is everypony in this town a werewolf?” Trixie werewolfed so Brees had no choice. “Now Twilight will love me” Tebows “But no” Twilight left. “SHIT” as Tebow ate Angel in sorrow before bullets pierced his spine “Shit’s on fire yo” Ray Lewis is black. Bullets flew from fire like in the Office and B rees had to run so Ray Lewis but Tebow was already Tebow. “Fight” Came all the ponies who weren’t werewolves whichw as Rainbow Dashing and Pinki but they couldn’t fight bullets. “It’s the day’s end” Glummly Ray Lewis. “But we have to.” Brees flew. Drew Brees dropped a bombs over Ponyville killing werewolves and innocense too ut not many and a worthwhile die. The fire shot at Brees but failure “How are you flying” They all yelled. “Because I am Drew Brees” He dramatically as dropping himself into werewolf. “We must build an army!” Rainbow but Pinkie at Tebow were tebowing too much “stop” Said Rarity returning “tebowing doesn’t help” But then Celestia came and kicked all th wereolves asses. “Good job” Luna died. “But why were their wereolf?” Confusion came. “It’s nor our knowlEDGE” Celestia confronted home. “I need to know” investigated Twilight far away but she secrets missed Tebow. “Who are Drew Brees and Tim Tebow anyway?” Asked PInkie. “I think they’re American football players that the author wants sex with.” Rainbow guessed. “Oh. I guess that makes sense.” They continued doing nothing. “Twilight and Tebow journeyed to Mount Elway to find answers. Meanwhile, Drew Brees helped Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie fight for Ponyville. “What is Mount Elway?” Twilight wanted to know. “It’s a mountain named after a God. John Elway.” “There are Gods other than Luna and Celestia?” “There are many.” “Why didn’t I know this?” “Well, see, this part of the story’s actually being written by a different author, who decided to change and retcon a few things and take the story in a new direction.” “Wow! I suddenly remember! John Elway’s the God of sports. “Very good. He is my idle and boss.” (For those of you who don’t know Tim Tebow plays for the Chicago Bears. John Elway played for them too and owns them now.) “Is that why you’re here?” “Yes. I was sent from a far away planet to stop the evil Ben Roethlisberger.” “Oh okay.” “Look out!” Tebow tackled the shit out of Twilight so that the arrows missed her. “We triggered a trap.” They realized they were in Mount Elway. “We need to find Elway’s Sword. It’s the only chance we have to save Equestria.” “But why is this... Ben Cocklisberger attacking us.” “Because he hates everything womanly” “Let’s kick his ass.” Elsewhere, Drew Brees and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie led an army against the Black and Yellow menace that was attacking. Ponies wearing Black and Yellow charged at Ponyville. Brees’ forces managed to hold them off. “Who are these ponies?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Pure evil.” Drew Brees threw a grenade. “We need Elway’s sword! Hurry up Tebow!” Pinkie had high hopes. “How do you know about the sword?” Drew Brees needed to know. “Because, I know the author personally.” She smiled. “This whole story-arch was my idea.” Brees’ mind was blown. He then continued fighting. “There it is.” Tebow could see Elway’s sarcophagus across the room. It didn’t look guarded, but it was probably booby-trapped. “Let me magic away the traps.” Twilight had a good idea and used detect traps and found many, but was able to disarm them. They then proceeded across the room and pryed the coffin open. Their jaws both dropped in surprise at what they found. “NO!” Tebow jumped back, pulling Twilight away. A large, human figure sprang up in the coffin. He looked kinda like Will Farrel. And he held a sword. “Roethlisberger!” Tebow spited. “You were too late, Timothy.” Big Ben laughed. “Now I have the sword of Elway. No one can stop me now!” Tebow quickly lunged at Ben, pulling a knife from somewhere. Ben held up the sword and teleported away and Tebow hit the wall. “NO!” “What do we do now!?” Twilight panicked. “There’s nothing we CAN do.” Tebow tebowed in sorrow. He had all but given up. “You cannot give up now.” A mysterious voice came from behind Tebow. He turned slowly to see, standing before him, a middle-aged man in a suit. “But... That’s impossible.” Tebow couldn’t believe his mind. “You’re dead!” “That’s what I wanted people to think.” The man smiled. “W-who is that?” Twilight was confused. “This...” Tebow started. “Is John Elway.” Drew Brees and Rainbow Dash had a cannon they found and were still holding Roethlisberger off pretty well. Then, a lightning bolt struck behind Brees and Ben appeared. “YOU!” Drew Brees turned and stared him down. “This ends now!” Brees held out his hand and a sword materialized. He lunged at Big Ben, who deflected the attack easily. “You can’t stand up to me anymore.” Ben laughed. “I have the greatest power in the universe. No one man can stop me!” “... You’re right! I can’t fight you alone.” He turned to Rainbow Dash, then Pinkie Pie, then back to Ben. Then, he disappeared in a puff of Blue Flame. “STOP!” Twilight finally snapped. “What the hell is going on here? LIke for real.” “Allow me to explain. On Earth, in America, we have this sport called football. Now, on a football team, there is a position called the Quarterback. Nine times out of ten, the quarterback is the leader of the team. I was a quarterback. Timothy here is a quarterback. So are Drew Brees and Big Ben. Ray Lewis isn’t, he’s the one out of ten non-quarterback leaders. Now, when I was a Quarterback, I was messing around with a fellow quarterback named Archie Manning. We discovered a hidden temple and a magical tablet. When we read the tablet allowed, a curse was unleashed. The curse affected every leader of every NFL team. It wasn’t really a curse though, more of a blessing. It made all the team leaders Planeswalkers.” “What’s a planeswalker?” “A planeswalker is a being who’s able to travel between planes, or realities. Universes, if you wish. However, Ben Roethlisberger turned evil, and tried to use his power to gain total control of everything. So myself, Tim Tebow, Drew Brees, Ray Lewis, and one other all joined forces to stop him. However, we don’t mention the fifth man much. He left us long ago.” “This is too much! There’s no way the readers will accept this story!” “Too bad. Tim Tebow and Drew Brees came here a while ago because we thought Ben had fled here. It turns out we were right. It’s time for action.” Peyton Manning was standing on a hotel room balcony, depressed by his career-ending neck injury. The Colts would never win another game without him. And it was all because Drew Brees beat him in the Super Bowl. “Peyton.” Brees appeared behind him. “NO!” Peyton snapped, turning around. “I’m done with you!” “Peyton please, you have to understand.” “That game shamed me! Forever!” “But New Orleans was a struggling city. And they’d never won anything! They needed that victory!” Peyton was quiet. Deep down he knew that Brees was right. Peyton already won a Super Bowl, but that was the Saints’ first Super Bowl APPEARANCE even. “... Why are you here?” “We need your help. Big Ben’s threatening to destroy the entire plane of Equestria.” “WHAT!? No... Not Equestria...” “I need your help! He has Elway’s sword!” “I... I can’t. I’m not half the man I used to be.” “Peyton please, you’re our only hope.” “...” Peyton walked passed Brees and stepped inside his hotel room. He reached under his bed and pulled out a large suitcase. He opened it, and from inside he pulled out two daggers and a sword. He also grabbed a trenchcoat, and sheathed the daggers inside it, along with some kunai. He sheathed the sword on the outside, and looked like a total badass. “Let’s do this.” Ben Roethlisberger loomed over Pinkie and Rainbow, who screamed in terror, knowing they had no chance of survival. “This ends now!” Ben held up his sword and lightning struck it. It became glowy and blue, and therefore clearly more powerful. He swung the sword down on Pinkie and Rainbow, but something stopped it. Peyton Manning and Drew Brees appeared in front of Ben with swords, blocking his attack. They pushed him back and began lunging and slashing at Ben. Ben was able to block both of their relentless attacks, but not as easily as he’d blocked Brees alone. “This is not over!” Manning shouted dramatically. Roethlisberger kicked Peyton back and went on the offensive against Brees. Brees was barely able to block all the attacks, but Peyton threw a kunai at Ben. Ben turned and grabbed the kunai, then ate it. Brees took advantage of this moment to kick Ben, but Ben turned and grabbed Drew’s leg, and threw him to the ground. “He’s too strong...” Brees admitted. “We can’t give up yet.” Peyton remembered his brother Cooper who could never be a planeswalker due to his illness, and attacked Ben with a new found fury. Brees was inspired by the intensity and joined the fight as well. Ben realized they were over powering him, so he summoned the power of the sword to use the unrelenting force shout. “FOUS RO DAH!” He shouted and Brees and Peyton were thrown back. It was at this moment the sword awoke and Ben felt its full power pulse through him. Tebow Twilight and Ray Lewis and John Elway arrived. “NO!” Elway shouted in vain. “It’s too late! He’s unstoppable now.” “N... No...” Drew struggled to his knees and Peyton did the same thing. “P... Peyton. I... Don’t think... We can beat him...” “No... There’s... Always a way...” Peyton slowly and weakly reached into his trench coat and pulled out his secret weapon. “AHWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA” Ben laughed evilly. “Wait... What’s that?” Peyton’s secret weapon was a gun. He shot Ben four times before he fell to the ground, dropping the sword. The clouds parted and the glowing lightning around Ben dispersed. Ben tried to crawl away but Peyton put the gun to his head. “No Peyton!” Elway grabbed his hand. “We’re better than that.” “... You’re right.” He holstered the gun. Then Rainbow and Pinkie beat Roethlisberger relentlessly. “... I guess they’re not.” He turned to Drew. “You alright?” “Yeah... I’m fine.” He got to his feet. “Our guns and magic was all useless... In the end, who would have guessed his weakness was... Bullets.” “Shocking, I know.” Peyton turned to Elway. “He’s dead... Now what?” “The realm of Equestria isn’t safe. Ben has failed, but their are many others, like Tom Brady.” Peyton cringed at the sound of Brady’s name. Him and Brady had been in many glorious battles in the past. “And Kyle Orton.” Tebow added. “But Tebow lost his power when you stole it from him.” Elway reminded Tebow who remembered. There was a celebration at the palace where Princess Celestia met with the brave heroes and Twilight. “We are in your gratitude.” “I’m not to thank.” Elway humbly admitted. “The true heroes are Drew Brees and Peyton Manning.” “We couldn’t have done it without your gift.” Peyton humbly admitted as well. Brees agreed. Tebow felt inadequate. Don’t worry Tebow, I comforted him, you’ll get your moment someday. Tebow felt happy after my kind words. But Ray Lewis was no where to be seen. “GGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAA” His voice was heard. “RAY!” Brees shouted, charging out of the palace. He saw a crowd of ponies in the courtyard, and in the middle, Ray Lewis lie dead, a Patriots logo carved into his chest. “DAMN YOU TOM BRADY!” Tom Brady ran along the castle walls with his high-tech sniper rifle that makes bullet holes in the design of the Patriots logo. No one had noticed had noticed him. He met with his partner who I will not name right now for suspense. “Ray Lewis is dead.” “Good.” The other being said. “I’ll gain the trust of the others. I already have.” It was mysterious.