Pinkie stirred under her blanket as the alarm clock blared at her bedside. Dragging herself up, she turned it off and made her way to the bathroom to freshen up as best as she could . Last night still weighed heavy on her mind and her mane and tail refused to 'poof' no matter what she did.
As she stood before the mirror brushing her hair somewhat listlessly, she paused. She could have sworn she heard a voice. The Cakes weren't due back from Fillydelphia for another two days and nopony else should be around, since the store wouldn't open for another hour-and-a-half. Hearing nothing more, she shrugged it off and continued brushing. As she finished and lay the brush down, though, she heard it again, much more clearly. A voice she hadn't heard in years. Her eyes went wide with shock and fear.
Pinkie looked around. No longer in her bathroom, she now stood on an open plain. Bright pink cotton candy grass covered the ground. Rather than trees, various flavors of candy canes dotted the landscape. In the distance, cupcake mountains loomed. She knew the place well. It was her mind, after all.
Somepony off to her left snorted derisively. "Disgusting. All this brightness and color. It makes me nauseous."
Pinkie turned, knowing who she would see, but still desperately hoping she was wrong. Sure enough, though, she saw her. A pony just like her but with a flat, straight mane and tail. This pony's coat and hair were also much darker pink, almost a grayish color. In a circle around her, the cotton candy had withered and turned into hard, gray dirt. The pony turned and looked at her with cold eyes and an evil grin.
"Hello, Pinkie. Have you missed me?"
"No. This can't be happening. I got rid of you! You're gone!"
"Oh, you silly filly. I'm not gone. I'm always here. But you haven't come to see me in soooo long. Don't you like me anymore? Don't you like all our good friends? Good, loyal friends who never let you down." As she spoke, the dark pony slowly circled Pinkie, fouling the ground around her.
Pinkie put her hooves over her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. "No, no, no! You're not real! I can't hear you!"
"Oh you already know that won't work. You don't need ears to hear me." She leaned in closer, whispering. "My, but you look a mess, you poor dear. It must be hard, knowing your marefriend doesn't really care about you. About your feelings."
"No! I know my Dashie loves me. And I love her. She's just going through a hard time. Stop doing this! I'm not going to listen to you!"
"As if you have a choice! Tell me this, my dear, sweet Pinkie: If she cared, why would she even bring alcohol to your party, hmmm? Knowing you swore off the stuff? Knowing there were foals there? Seems mighty selfish to me. That's part of what has you so worked up, isn't it? I think it's high time you take a rest and let your old pal Pinkamena handle things."
Pinkie screamed, in equal parts anger, fear, and pain, and passed out.
Dash groaned, shielding her eyes from the harsh sunlight that poured in through the window. Slowly she got up and made her way over to the door of her room. Her head felt like dragons were stomping on it and her whole body ached. She couldn't remember how she got home from the party last night. Hell, she could barely remember anything about last night at all. She remembered everything up to her last dance with Pinkie. After that, though, the whole thing was kind of a blur. Whether that was from the alcohol, the brain damage, or both she wasn't sure. Hope I didn't do anything too stupid. Ah, well, drunk is as drunk does, I guess.
Groggily, she got to her hooves, only to be hit by a sudden wave of nausea. "Ohhhh... not good," she moaned as she rushed to the bathroom.
After the violent expulsion of the previous evening's foodstuffs (which, Dash considered, had tasted far better going down) she made her way to the kitchen. The thought of anything substantial nearly forced a repeat bout of heaving, so she ultimately settled on some dry toast and a glass of water.
After her meager breakfast, Dash began to sort through the eight-month pile of mail. The bills and other important things had been taken care of by her friends, of course, but there was still a bunch of stuff to sort through.
After nearly 40 minutes she had managed to make four piles: junk, Daring Do fan club, Playpony, and This Old Cloud. The sorting had at least managed to give her body time to restore its equilibrium.
As she gathered up the junk mail pile, there came a knocking. "Coming," she called, depositing the useless papers in the trash and moving towards the door.
Upon opening the door, Dash was surprised to find a rather nervous-looking Twilight. Twilight walking on clouds was nothing new, of course, but Dash could swear the purple unicorn seemed almost afraid of her.
Nah. That would be absurd.
Dash smiled brightly. "Hey, Twi. C'mon in. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Guess I haven't had time to tidy up yet."
"Ummm... yea." murmured Twilight as she cautiously entered. "Look, Dash. I, um... I came to talk about last night."
Now it was Dash's turn to be nervous. Oh, Celestia. What did I do? "Last night, huh? Well, um... great party?"
Twilight shot her an incredulous look. "You don't remember a thing, do you?"
Dash ran a hoof through her mane and chuckled nervously. "Well, not after my last dance with Pinkie, at least. What can I say? Rum is a hell of a drink. I didn't do anything too crazy, I hope?"
Twilight sighed. "Well..."
As Twilight recounted the details of the previous evening's delinquency, Dash could only hang her head in shame. "Geez, Twi, I guess I really fucked things up. I'm sorry."
"It's not me you need to apologize to. Pinkie worked really hard on that party. And poor Thunderlane certainly didn't deserve to be assaulted like that."
"Yea, I guess you're right." Dash got up, and started for the door.
"Dash wait," called Twilight, stopping her. "Look, Dash. I'm sorry if I came off a little harsh. It's just that, well, you really worried us. I know you're upset about your condition but you can't solve your problems on Captain Maregan's ship. Taking that voyage is just going to make things worse."
"I know, I know." Dash raised her hooves defensively. "Things just got a little out of hoof yesterday, that's all."
"I know this is a hard time for you, Dash, but just remember, we're all here for you."
"I will. I promise."
Ding-a-ling! The bell tinkled as the door to Sugarcube Corner opened. Dash stepped inside, looking around. It seemed... darker than usual. And there were no customers, which was odd for this time of day. The door suddenly slammed shut, causing Dash to jump.
"Hiiiii, Dashieee." Pinkie's voice came from the darkness, but it had a creepy, drawn-out tone.
"Pinks?" asked Dash warily, turning towards the sound of the voice. Something was definitely weird here. She finally caught sight of Pinkie sitting at a table in the corner. She was grinning oddly and there was a distant look in her eyes.
Dash rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "Umm... yea. Look. About last night. I just wanted to say, well... I'm sorry. I really made a mess of things."
"Oh? You're sorry, are you? Yes, I think you are." Pinkie's voice had taken on a harder edge now. "You're one sorry pony. But you're not through being sorry yet, not by a long shot."
Dash backed up a step. "Uhhh... Okay, Pinks, you're starting to scare me now."
"Scared? You should be. After all I did, staying with you all that time. Struggling to hope when everypony else said I should give up. Then you wreck the party I threw for you? You take a fun, happy time and destroy it with your drunken antics?"
Geez, what's with her? I apologized. Shouldn't that be good enough? What about all I've been through? I think a drunken rampage or two is excusable after I lost my whole future.
"Look, I said I was sorry..."
"Not good enough!" Pinkie slammed the table with her hoof, sending a crack along its length.
Dash was getting a bit irritated by this suddenly malicious attitude. "What do you want from me? Should I clean the place? Pay for damages? Fund a make-up party?"
"This isn't about bits, you simpleton! This is about how you treat the ponies you care about. All you ever think about is yourself. Never a thought about how I would feel, no! Her highness, Rainbow Dash wants to get soused and raise ruckus and everypony else be damned! I really shouldn't be surprised though. You've been that way the whole time I've known you."
Dash stood there, her mouth open in shock. She tried to think of a reply but the more she thought, the more she felt like maybe Pinkie was right. Before she could say anything, Pinkie continued.
"Well no more. I'm done waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass and grow up! We're through! Now get out!"
Dash felt like she had been kicked in the gut. "You... you're breaking up with me? Just like that? Over one stupid little mistake?"
"The only mistake was staying with you as long as I did. Maybe you were right. Maybe I should have let you die. I thought maybe you'd learn to value you friends more - to value me more. But you haven't learned a sundamned thing!"
"Fine!" Dash stormed over to the door, her anger raging out of control again, and turned to deliver a parting shot. "If that's what you want, I'll go. But let me tell you, I'm not the only one who has to grow up. Do you really think every problem in life can be solved with just a party? You live in some sundamned fairy-tale world where everything is rainbows and butterflies. But this is the real world, and it doesn't work that way. The real world is a cruel bitch, Pinkie. One day, you'll learn that the hard way." Dash stomped out, slamming the door as hard as she could.
Pinkamena watched the blue pegasus depart with a satisfied grin. Her triumph, however, was cut off by an anguished wail that only she could hear.
The bakery faded out, to be replaced again by the open plain of Pinkie's mind. This time, though, everything was gray, dull, faded, and dead. This time, Pinkamena was in control.
"Oh, do shut up, Pinkie. You brought this on yourself."
Pinkie sat on the ground, looking thoroughly defeated. In a very small radius around her, there was an area of life and color. "Why? Why did you do that? Now Dashie's going to hate me and she'll never be my marefriend again."
Pinkamena got right up in Pinkie's face, her features etched with a fierce rage. "Why? I'll tell you why, you backstabbing little party fiend! Because you betrayed me. You betrayed all of us! You created us, me and Rocky and LeFleur, Lintsalot, and Mr. Turnip. You said we'd always be your friends! We were there for you when you didn't have any other friends in the world! But then you started making other friends. But you never introuduced us, oh no! You were ashamed of us, weren't you, Pinkie? Then you just left us altogether. You abandoned us, your first and truest friends! Oh, you came crawling back when you thought your other friends had forgotten you. But one party later and all was good again and there we were, swept back into the corner. Well, no more! We're taking you with us, and we're going to make sure we're your only friends from now on."
The noise of bitter sobbing was the only response Pinkamena received. She turned her back on her utterly broken creator and rival and trotted off to resume her plans in the outerworld.
Thirty minutes later, a pink hot-air balloon departed from behind Sugarcube Corner. Inside were a pile of rocks, a bucket of turnips, a bag of flour, a pile of lint, and one pink earth pony with a very disturbed grin.
Rainbow stormed off, not paying much attention to where she was going. Soon she found herself wandering through a section of town she had never been in before. Her stomach grumbled, reminding her that she really hadn't had much to eat that day. As luck would have it, she found herself outside a restaurant, the smells of culinary delights wafting through the air.
As she entered the restaurant, the smells got stronger, causing her mouth to water. An orange-colored mare with a dark pink mane greeted her and led her to a table.
"Welcome to 'Soup's On!'. My name's Candymane and I'll be your server today. Can I get you a drink to start off with?"
"Yea, I'll take a cider. Plain, not hard."
While the waitress went off to get her drink, Dash contemplated the menu. There seemed to be a bit of a mushroom theme going:
Miso Soup with Shiitake Mushrooms
Oven-roasted Mushroom Soup
Wild Mushroom Stew (this had a star next to it)
Mushroom Soup with Seasonal Vegetables
Mushroom Tofu Ball Soup
Double Mushroom Bisque
Cream of Mushroom Soup (this was also marked with a star)
Mushroom and Barley Soup
After a bit, the whole thing started to run together in Dash's mind. It was just then that Candymane came back with her cider.
"You ready to order, hun, or d'ya need a few more minutes?"
"Well, I've never been here before. What would you recomend?"
"Let's see, they're all pretty good. The ones with the star there are our signature dishes. Now, the Cream of Mushroom is pretty good, but I'll tell you, if you only try one thing here, it would have to be the Wild Mushroom Stew. It's made with local wild mushrooms from the edges of the Everfree. There's just something about 'em that cultivated varieties lack, y'know? The stew is rich and flavorful but not too heavy. I'm not lyin' when I say it's my favorite dish here."
After placing her order for the Wild Mushroom Stew, Dash ruminated over the day's events while sipping a mug of cider. She couldn't figure out what had turned Pinkie so cold and vicious. Despite her angry parting words, she still loved Pinkie. I wish she still loved me. I just don't know what went wrong.
She sighed. She couldn't face Twilight or the others after what had happened. In fact, the thought of staying in Ponyville any longer, of dealing with Pinkie and the others everyday, just made her heart ache. It would hurt too much. Good thing cloudhomes are easy to move, I guess.
Her musings were cut short by the arrival of her stew. As the waitress placed her order down, Dash couldn't help but feel that she looked familiar, like they had met before. She started in on the stew - and was amazed. The flavors and the richness just exploded in her mouth. I'll have to remember this place, she thought, before remembering her situation. If I'm ever in Ponyville again, that is.
It was then that she noticed that the waitress hadn't departed and appeared to be regarding her with curiosity. Before she could say anything, the orange mare spoke.
"Say, you wouldn't be Rainbow Dash, would you?"
Oh, great. A fan. Just what I need. Dash forced a smile. "The one and only. Guess you've heard of me. Can't say I'm surprised, though. I mean, who hasn't?" Even as she said them, the words felt hollow to Dash. Her heart wasn't in it anymore.
"Oh, wow! I thought it was you! My little filly, Scootaloo, just adores you. She's always telling me about all the tricks and things she watches you doing and how she wants to be just like you when she grows up. I remember she was really worried when you had your accident. We were so relieved when you came home."
"You're Scoot's mom?" exclaimed Dash. "What a small world. Y'know it's so cool the way your daughter zips around town on that scooter of hers. She can do some pretty awesome tricks on that thing. She's got spirit, that's for sure."
"Celestia, don't I know it. Too much spirit sometimes. I can barely keep up with her. Do all you pegasi give your parents such a hard time?"
Dash forced a chuckle. "Oh, I seem to recall being quite a hooffull for my parents when I was her age." A pained look flitted briefly across her face and she hoped the lie wasn't too obvious.
After exchanging more friendly banter with Candymane, Dash paid for her meal and left. The whole conversation had opened another round of doubt and soul-searching for her. She had promised Scoot those lessons after all. Not to mention the promise she had made the kid years ago to be a 'big sister' figure - a promise she had sometimes been lax in keeping over the years. How could she keep either of those promises if she ran off? And, honestly, something had to be very wrong with Pinkie. The whole incident was just too unlike her. Yet here she was, planning to just run away.
Some Element of Loyalty you are, Rainbow Dash. What in Tartarus are you thinking, trying to abandon your friends like that?
As she half trotted, half flew back towards her house, she finally realized what Pinkie's disposition earlier had reminded her of. The psycho grin and those crazy eyes! It's just like when she thought we hated her parties all those years ago. Shit! She needs help, and I just stormed out on her . Shit, shit, shit, how could I have been so stupid! Dash changed course in mid-flight, desperately hoping she wasn't too late.
Dash hung her head. Too fucking late. When she had arrived at Sugarcube Corner, the place was dark and closed up, despite it being well after noon. It should have been bustling with activity. She had knocked, but there was no answer but a hollow echo. Her suspicions had been confirmed when she had gone around back and found Pinkie's hot-air balloon missing. She could be miles away by now.
As Dash wandered down the street, trying to ponder what she would do next, she caught sight of light coming from a nearby building. As she approached, she could hear a sprightly tune being played on a piano within, and she spotted a sign above the entrance: The Thirsty Pony. With a shrug, she entered. Maybe a little drink would help clear her mind.
Twilight made her way along the street as the sunlight faded. The meeting between her, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy regarding how to help Dash had concluded on watchful waiting for now, especially after she related her meeting with Dash earlier that day. Come to think of it, nopony had seen Dash or Pinkie all day, which was decidedly odd. Curious, she changed course to head for Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight was thoroughly flummoxed as she neared the familiar baked goods shop. There were no lights on at all and the whole place looked deserted. When repeated knocking produced no answer, she turned to go. Movement down the street caught her eye, but it was just a drunk stumbling out of a nearby bar. After about five steps, Twilight stopped and did a double-take. That drunk... that drunk was Rainbow Dash. And she was alone. "What the hell, Dash?" she muttered, stomping off determinedly to confront her. She arrived just in time to see the blue pegasus collapse into a ditch on the roadside.
Dash contemplated her situation. She supposed that she really should get up, but it was quite cozy the way the ditch cradled her body just so. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to just nap here for a bit? If only that annoying yammering would go away. Where was it coming from? She struggled to make her eyes focus, and managed to make out three purple unicorns standing above her, flapping their mouths incessantly. They all looked a bit like Twilight, in fact, which was strange. As far as she knew, there was only one Twilight. Maybe they were changelings? She had the vague feeling that she should have been more alarmed by that idea than she was. Without warning, she found herself yanked out of the ditch and being floated unceremoniously down the road while the yammering continued. While it had been annoying at first, it gradually came to form a sort of white noise in the background as Dash drifted off into unconsciousness.
Rainbow Dash squinted as she entered the darkened hovel with Twilight. After trekking halfway across Equestria, they had finally located Pinkie. From ahead of them, the sound of laughter could be heard, but it was a joyless, broken-sounding laughter. The sound of it made Dash shiver. The pair stepped forward into a circle of light. There Pinkie sat, having a tea party with an assortment of random debris.
Pinkie's laughter stopped, though a crazed grin remained plastered on her face. "Oh look. We have guests. Or maybe pests. What to do with pesky guests? I'm at a loss, I must confess." Her voice was cold, completely lacking emotion.
Twilight glanced nervously at Dash, then turned back to Pinkie. "Umm... Pinkie, why are you talking like Zecora?"
"Why? I haven't got a clue. But rhymes are fun - and riddles, too. I think that maybe you should stay - and join my friends, there's games to play."
Dash rolled her eyes. "Yea, that's quite enough. Time to take you back and get you some help. C'mon, Twi."
Twilight nodded and fired off a confinement spell. To her astonishment, though, Pinkie produced a mirror from out of nowhere. The spell bounced off it and Twilight stood frozen, unable to move.
Reacting swiftly, Dash attempted to tackle Pinkie but was stunned when the crazed pink pony shoved her hard into the wall. She heard a loud crack and felt something break inside.
Pinkie's expression changed from her frozen grin into one of furious anger. "How dare you try to interfere! Now see your end as it draws near." Pinkie snatched up a knife that had been laying on the table and turned her attention to the still immobile Twilight. "Because my fun you sought to quell, it's time for you to rot in HELL!" As she shouted the last, Pinkie swung around and sliced.
Dash flinched as Twilight's blood splattered over her. This is crazy. This can't be happening. She tried to lunge forward, only to find that she couldn't move. The impact with the wall had broken her spine. Then Pinkie was upon her.
"And as for you, my onetime love. Your death comes swiftly, from above." Pinkie reared up, holding the dripping knife dramatically high. In a blur of motion, she brought it down. Dash felt the blade penetrate her chest...
Dash sat bolt upright in the bed, her heart racing. "A nightmare. It was only a nightmare. Thank Celestia."
As she sat there trying to calm down, she pondered the dream. "Why was Twilight there? Maybe the dream was trying to tell me I should see her? That's it!" She dramatically pounded her forehooves together. "Twilight. She'll know what to do. But... how can I tell her what happened? She'll get all... lecture-y on me." Dash sighed. "Well I'll just have to face it, I guess."
As she lay back down, she began to register the fact that she wasn't laying on the cloud bed she was accustomed to. This realization prompted her to sit up again and take stock of her surroundings. By the moonlight that filtered in, she could see that the walls were made of wood and the floor had a ring pattern. She was in a tree-home. That meant either Fluttershy's or... She felt a knot form in her stomach as she glimpsed an immense bookshelf on one wall. Twilight's. Her being here could only mean one thing. Sure enough, she could feel the beginnings of a hangover coming on. I must have passed out when I left that bar. And Twi found me. Well at least it won't be hard to find her but, horseapples, am I ever in deep shit now. With this none-too-comforting thought, Dash drifted back off into a fitful sleep.
Pinkie looked out of the balloon over the barren landscape. Pinkemina had fallen asleep a couple hours before, allowing her to retake control for a time - even psychotic alter-egos needed rest, after all. She sighed. Maybe Dashie was right. Maybe she was just too naïve. The pegasus' parting words rang in her ears: "Do you really think every problem in life can be solved with just a party? The real world is a cruel bitch, Pinkie!"
With another sigh, she made a few adjustments, angling the balloon down towards the rock farm below. Pinkemina would probably be mad, but her family had helped her deal with her demented twin before.
Dash awoke to loud, shrill noise. It took her a moment to remember where she was. From the adjacent room, she could hear Twilight babbling excitedly to Spike and squealing with joy about how Cadance was with foal and how excited she was that she was going to be an aunt. Well, at least she'll be in a good mood now. Mayaswell bite the bullet and get this over with. She made her way to the door, doing her best to ignore the pounding in her skull. "Congratulations, Twi!"
Twilight looked up from the letter she was reading. "Thanks, Dash." Her joyful grin turned to a more serious expression. "I think we need to have a little chat, though."
"Yea, we do actually." Dash held up a hoof, forestalling Twilight's lecture. "Look, just let me tell you about yesterday before you start busting my chops, okay."
"Fair enough. I'm listening."
Dash sighed. "It all started when I went to apologize to Pinkie. When I got there it was all dark and there were no customers, which was odd..."
Twilight listened with growing consternation as Dash related the previous days events: The confrontation with a decidedly not normal Pinkie, the breakup, the lunch, meeting Scootaloo's mom, the epiphany about Pinkie's mental state, and the discovery that Pinkie had left town.
"... And then I figured maybe an idea would come to me over a drink." She sighed and hung her head sorrowfully. "The more I drank and the more I thought about it, though, the more I realized Pinkie was right. I really am a very selfish pony, Twi. Maybe... maybe I don't deserve somepony like Pinkie."
Twilight sighed and shook her head. "Where does this fascination with the idea that drinking is a good solution for your problems come from?" Gently, she reached out and lifted Dash's head, forcing the blue pegasus to look her in the eye. "Dash. Listen to me. Whether or not you deserve Pinkie isn't your decision to make. When someone gives you a gift, they decide you deserve it. Pinkie has chosen to give you a very special and precious gift - her love. Whether you think you deserve it or not, she does."
"Not anymore, apparently."
"Dash. If what you've told me is true, I highly doubt you were talking to Pinkie."
"Well who was it then? A changeling? Doesn't exact seem like their usual thing to be splitting up couples."
"No, not a changeling. Dash have you ever heard of a condition called 'split personality disorder'?
"Wait." Dash shot her a look of disbelief. "Are you saying you think Pinkie is mental?"
"Well, that's a crude way of putting it, but yes. What you described sounds like a textbook case. Actually, looking back, it makes perfect sense."
"Whadya mean?"
"Think about it Dash. Other than a few isolated and very brief times, have you ever known Pinkie to be sad? I don't mean full-on depressed, I mean have you ever seen her even the slightest bit down?"
Dash thought for a minute. "Well, no, but..."
"Exactly. Dash, that's not normal. Everypony hurts sometimes. Even Pinkie. But she never shows it. Or, if she does, it's not for long."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm not 100 percent sure, but I think that Pinkie's repressing of her negative emotions may have caused her mind to create another persona to deal with them. There must have been some major trigger in the past to spark something so dramatic, though. The personality switch seems to be connected with abandonment issues. I wonder..." Twilight's voice trailed off as she pondered the problem.
"Okay, so we just find a way to snap her out of it, right? Maybe a party? It worked last time."
"It may not be as simple as all that, Dash. Obviously that didn't actually get rid of her other self permanently. And the fact that you say she was unusually aggressive, even nearly breaking a table in half this time, concerns me. See, these kinds of alternate personalities are inherently unstable. And they have a way of getting worse over time. Sometimes even violent. I think our first priority has to be finding her before she hurts herself or somepony else."
"But how? She could be anywhere by now."
"I have an idea about that, too. From what I've read on psychology, in times of severe emotional trauma, most ponies fall back on the people and places that are most dear to them. I think we should start our search at the Pie Family Rock Farm. If I recall, Pinkie once said it was somewhere outside Ponyville. I'll need to make a search of the deed records at town hall."
Dash fluttered her wings anxiously. "What can I do?"
"Why don't you go get Fluttershy and Applejack - I expect they'll be together somewhere - and I'll round up Rarity on the way to town hall. We can meet back here in two hours and get ready to set out on our rescue mission.
As she made her way towards Fluttershy's, Dash thought back over the past few days. Despite what Twilight had said, Dash could still hear Pinkie's accusations. And the hard truth was, she was largely right. I do focus on myself a lot. My needs, my goals, my dreams, my feelings. Maybe that's because I didn't have any other choice for so many years.
In her musings, Dash failed to pay attention to her surroundings, until a loud cry of "LOOK OUT!" shattered the late morning quiet. She got a brief glimpse of a filly on a scooter pulling two more in a wagon and coming straight towards her at incredible speed. The next moment, she was hurtling through the air. She frantically flapped her wings, trying to right herself, only to land unceremoniously in Fluttershy's pond.
Dash waded out of the pond and surveyed the situation. The self-proclaimed 'Cutie Mark Crusaders' were extricating themselves from, variously, a chicken coop, the shrubbery, and a pig sty.
Applejack came bursting out of Fluttershy's house first. "What in tarnation?"
As Applejack stood and took in the scene, Fluttershy meekly poked her head out. "Oh, goodness! Um... is everypony okay?"
After offering profuse apologies, and receiving a small lecture about speed and watching where they were going, the Crusaders went on their way, now covered in various combinations of feathers, leaves, mud, and, inexplicably, tree sap.
Applejack turned her attention to Rainbow Dash. "Now what brings y'all out here this afternoon? Ya look mighty agitated."
"It's about Pinkie..."
As Pinkie tied off the balloon at the edges of the Pie family rock farm, she got the sense that something was amiss. At that moment, both her ears flopped forward, her back knees pinched, and her tail started twitching. Huh. That's a new one. Whatever it means, I guess I'd better be careful.
Pinkie's trepidation only grew as she neared the old farmhouse where she had grown up. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. That's when she saw him. Just outside of the house there was a gryphon in an odd, military-looking uniform. From his posture and bearing, he was obviously standing guard.
The guard spotted her at almost the same time. He poked his head in the door and shouted something in Gryphon. Two more gryphons charged out and flew straight for her. Pinkie turned and began to gallop away, but the gryphons were too quick for her. She felt herself seized in the vise-like grip of their talons. Despite her struggles, she was whisked back to the house. Her captors conversed briefly with another gryphon, who seemed to be in charge. Dash had taught Pinkie a few words and phrases in Gryphon, but the group were talking so swiftly and quietly that she really couldn't pick up anything. Then she was taken back outside, led around the house, and rather unceremoniously locked in one of the larger storage buildings.
She looked around, her eyes adjusting to the dim light coming through the slats in the wall. Movement in one corner caught her eye.
"Who's there?" whispered two voices in unison.
"Inky? Blinky? Is that you?"
"Pinkie?" came the astonished response, as two mares moved out of the corner. Before they could react, Pinkie swept them both up in a hug.
"I've missed you two. I didn't mean to stay away so long but there were the elements and Nightmare Moon, and then Discord and Chrysalis. And there were dragons and hydras and time travel, not to mention all the cakes and parties."
"We missed you too, sis," the pair said in unison. "Though you seem to have picked bad time for a family reunion."
"Yea, what's with all the frowny meaniepants gryphons around here? And where are mom and dad?"
Inky and Blinky exchanged a glance filled with sadness and pity. It was Blinky who responded. "Mom and dad are away on business. There's an important mineralogical conference in Canterlot or some such." Inky nodded. It was the same line they always used, the one they had come up with years ago, when Pinkie's problem had first become evident.
"As for the gryphons," Inky added, "They showed up about a week ago. They marched onto our land, forced us to send all the help away on leave and locked us in here. They've been using our house and land for some unknown purpose ever since. We tried to escape a couple times, but they're just too quick. Besides we're in the middle of nowhere. Even Ponyville is a good two days journey on hoof." She sighed. "But why did you come here, Pinkie? You’ve never come unannounced before. And you usually bring friends. Is something wrong?"
Pinkie looked down, then, slowly, back up. The raw fear in her eyes told her sisters all they needed to know.
"Pinkemina's back."