It's A Screwed Up Life

by Autum Breeze


Well... at least she’s out of our hair for now

Well... at least she’s out of our hair for now

___________________________________________________________

“I call my client’s wife, Spoiled to the stand,” the tan unicorn mare with a quill for a Cutie Mark and dressed in a fine blue suit and wearing wired-rimmed glasses says.

We are currently in a courtroom in Canterlot.

Three months have passed since the CMC got their Cutie Marks and Diamond and I can both stand on the same side against Spoiled, along with our father.

True to her word, Spoiled made it a court case. As you can imagine, she did not take the idea of being shut out from our lives well. Now, normally, this would be because the mother loves her child/children very much and can’t bear to be without them in her life somehow.

Well, the latter part about not wanting us, or rather Diamond, out of her life is true enough... but not out of love.

Likely I think because Discord had a claw in it, word spread pretty damn quickly about Spoiled being kicked out of our home and the bare minimum of why.

With that hanging over her head, Spoiled would need a good back-up to ensure her life still goes as smoothly and wealthy as she feels she is entitled to, which means utilizing Diamond’s special talent for making others do what she wants.

What she did not expect was that Diamond was so firmly siding with me in the matter. No lie, the look on her face when Diamond refused to help her in the case, it was like she’d just been told the sky is brown.

So, we’re now in the courtroom for the trail of both Spoiled’s actions and the custody battle of who gets Diamond.

Yeah, like you’re anymore surprised than I am that Spoiled didn’t care if Dad kept me himself.

Spoiled walks up to the podium and takes a sat with a huff, a smug look of superiority on her face.

Dad’s lawyer, Pointed Answer, looks firmly at her as she walks up. “Mrs Rich, you claim everything you did regarding your foals was for the better, is that correct?”

Spoiled sniffs. “Indeed. I only had Diamond Tiara’s best interests in mind.”

Pointed raises an eyebrow. “And your other daughter, Lilac, who now goes by the name Screwball? You had her best interests in mind as well?”

Spoiled fauns shook. “Why would I not? Regardless of how she feels about me, she is my own flesh and blood.”

“Interesting,” Pointed says, before looking away. “So, it was in Screwball’s best interests to be locked away and her identity hidden from the world until after Discord first returned?”

Spoiled remains aggravatingly calm. “Of course. Her condition was quite severe. I didn’t want her to lose her foalhood because she would be used as a test subject for treatment that might not even work.”

Pointed pushes her glasses up a little on her nose. “Strange, as just minutes ago, Doctor Stable said, under oath, I might add, that you threatened to have his discredited and fired from his job if he ever uttered a word about you’re second daughter, and expressly told him to make sure your own husband at the time didn’t know the full extent of her condition. Was that also done in your daughter’s best interest, when she was unable to make even cognitive thought at the time?”

“Objection!” Spoiled’s lawyer, a grey unicorn stallion with a black mane, wearing a black suit, with a Cutie Mark of a shredded note called, standing up.

“Overruled,” the judge says, shaking his head, before nodding for Pointed to continue.

Pointed nods her thanks before returning to look at Spoiled. “You claim to have had your daughters’ best interests at heart, yet we have testimonies from both of them stating quite a different tale. Screwball has mentioned that, on many occasions, you demanded she obey any command you give her, even if it would’ve caused harm to her social life. Diamond Tiara has said the same, but with her being less able to resist your demands, as she did not have Screwball’s way of getting out of problems with her Chaos Magic.

Furthermore, Diamond has stated that you grilled her on the idea that, not only would she not get anywhere in life if she did not follow everything you told her to do, right down to the letter, but that her father would no longer love her. You grilled this into her for everything, her accomplishments and any small failings she met along the way, including something as trivial as losing her job as head of her school’s newspaper and the election for Student Pony President.”

Pointed gives Spoiled a frown.

“You instilled a fear into your own child that, if she lost a simple class election, her father would no longer love her. Please, Mrs Rich, explain how that, in even the smallest sense, sounds like it is in the best interests of you daughter? Because, to me, that sounds like foalabuse.”

Spoiled keeps her expression calm, but I have it on good authority that she got angrier and more anxious as Pointed went on.

Let’s just say, I made sure a certain one of three ponies was put on the jury and has been having a telepathic conversation with me since the trail began.

Spoiled says nothing for several long moments, before closing her eyes. “Diamond took that the wrong way. I never meant for her to think her father would not love her if she failed. I meant for her to learn that he would be disappointed if she failed because of her actions.”

“Actions you yourself, instilled into Diamond as being how she should treat others and how to get what she wants?” Pointed interjected.

Spoiled snorted. “You do not live as high class a life as my family, Miss Answer. You cannot begin to understand how our lives work.”

“So, you say because you were part of a wealthy family, you could act differently to others?”

Spoiled gave a slight nod.

Pointed closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to head back to her seat. “No further questions for now, Your Honour.”

The judge nodded and Spoiled returned to her seat, before he looked to Spoiled’s lawyer. “Paper Shreds, do you have a witness to call.”

The grey pony got up, a smug smirk on his face. “Yes, Your Honour. I call Screwball Rich to the stand.”

I blink, glancing to Daddy and Diamond sitting next to me, who look as surprised as I do.

“Miss Rich?” the judge says, indicating to the stand. “If you please?”

I cock an eyebrow. Well, this should be interesting.

I float into the air over to the stand and take my seat, raising my right hoof and vowing to only speak the truth... which, now that I think about it, due to my nature and origins, could backfire on me if I’m not too careful.

Whoops.

Shreds walks up to me, the smuggest grin on his face. “Miss Screwball, is it not true that you loath your mother?”

I cock an eyebrow, before shrugging, folding my forelegs. “Yeah, I hate her guts. Everypony in Ponyville knows that. It’s not exactly a hidden secret or anything.”

“And you have power on par with the Lord of Chaos, able to manipulate reality itself, do you not?”

I hesitate. “Well... not exactly. See, he was born into being as Chaos. I only got my powers and status as a being of chaos because he screwed up one small thing and I’m the unintended side effect. I’ve been able to outsmart him a few times and have been able to put certain things into place he can’t undo, but I’m nowhere near as powerful as DD.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “DD?”

“Well, yeah,” I say casually. “It’s short for Daddy Discord. Since he helped me pretty much come to life after old Spoiled Bitch over there left me to rot in the hospital, he’s kinda like a second dad to me.”

“Objection,” Pointed calls out calmly. “The witness’s relationship with the Lord of Chaos is not relevant.”

“Sustained,” the judge nods, before giving Shreds a firm look. “Return to the matter at hoof.”

Shreds gives an annoyed glare towards Pointed, before continuing on. “So, despite not being as powerful as the Lord of Chaos, you do still posses many abilities similar to his own. Does this include the power to alter the memories of others?”

I blink, before wilting a bit. Ah, crap. Gotta be honest.

I look down, muttering quietly, “Yes.”

I can tell without even looking up that a spark just entered his eyes. “And yet, you say Diamond suffered under her mother’s hoof. How can we know you didn’t simply alter memories of being with your mother to convince Diamond Tiara that her mother is cold, when she is in fact, a loving being, so that she’d hate her as much as you do?”

That pulls me right out of my little funk as I burst into laughter.

After a few moments, I manage to get my words out. “L—l— loving being? Seriously?” I laugh again, before finally getting enough control to talk, if still struggling not to laugh. “Whe-when she dumped me in the hospital and told Diamond I’m evil, that I’d ruined Diamond’s life and make her unhappy? When she got angry at Diamond for wanting to spend Hearth’s Warming with me instead of going to some snobby party where everypony would just flaunt their wealth? When she chastised Diamond for joining me in the Sister Hooves Social? You call that the actions of a “loving being”? Clearly, our ideas of what counts for love is very different, Shreds.”

His right eyebrow twitches. Very passive-aggressively, he reaches up to straighten his tie. “I would rather you treat me with respect and call me Mr. Paper, Miss Rich.”

I snort, leaning back. “Yeah, and Spoiled wanted me to treat her like she was the best mother in the world for acting like I didn’t exist. Sorry, Shreds, but no rule states I gotta call you Mr anything.”

There’s small murmurs of laughter from within the room, before the judge calls for order, then instructs me to go on.

“So, I don’t have even the smallest ounce of love for that mare,” I say, tossing my hair back, looking pointedly at Shreds. “Doesn’t change the fact that she’s a horrible excuse for a mother and treated her own children like objects, rather than her own flesh and blood.”

“The nerve!” Spoiled growls, before the judge hushes her.

Shreds just smiles. “You still haven’t answered my question, Miss Rich. Did you use your powers to change your sister’s memories, or not?”

My slack attitude shifts at I glare dangers at him... oops. I’m literally glaring dangers, as several appear right before him, causing him to yelp in fright.

“Sorry! Sorry!” I call out, wiping them away with a wave of my hoof. “Yeah, one of the problems with my powers is I can subconsciously do things if they relate to a term of phrase. Glaring dangers, for example, meaning... well, you get the idea. However,” my apologetic expression returns to a glare, “I would and never have used that power, here in Equestria. In this world, I have never altered the mind of a single being, and believe me, there are several who damn well were asking for it.”

He frowns, both looking confused and curious. “So, you say you’ve never used them in Equestria? Have you ever used them on anypony?”

At once, I sag. Crap.

I look away, shame coming to my face. “Well, I can’t say I’ve never used it. Though, I’ve certainly never used it on anypony.”

Which, in my defence, is true enough. Whether they had been born human or been Sirens turned into humans when forced through the mirror, The Dazzling weren’t ponies, nor had I done it to them in this world, so I am being honest when I say I’ve never altered the memories of any pony here in this world.

The glint has returned to Shreds’ eyes. “So, you claim your mother is bad, yet you have willingly, and knowingly altered the mind or minds of others? How can you claim innocence, when you have that on your conscience?”

“I didn’t mean for her to get hurt by it!” I blurt out, feeling tears welling in my eyes. “I had no idea she existed! I didn’t know making them go after someone that looks like her would...”

I never meant for it. I never wanted to hurt an innocent life.

“Objection!” Pointed’s firm shout pulls me out of it and I look up to see her glaring daggers at Shreds. “Your Honour, this isn’t about anything the witness has done in her own past. This is just mentally attacking a child for events she likely had no intended part in.”

“Sustained,” the judge gives a stern stare to Shreds. “One more incident like that, Mr. Shreds, and you’ll be held in contempt of this court.”

“Of course, Your Honour,” Shreds nods, though I can see an evil glint in his eyes as he returns to looking at me. “So, Miss Rich, just why do you feel your mother is such a horrible being?”

After a few moments to calm myself down and push my guilt about what happened in the EQG world aside, I take a few deep breaths, before glaring coldly at the stallion.

“I don’t need to say anything. Those crystals contain filmed footage of anything and everything that I could state why that mare,” I glance briefly at Spoiled, “is a horrible pony and was a terrible mother to both myself and especially Diamond. And they’ve been checked be several unicorns and the princesses themselves. They’re real. I didn’t merely think, “Ya know, I hate my mom. I’ll created an illusion of her being horrible to both my sister and I to get her in trouble” and then set anything up. What’s on the footage in those crystals is real. I don’t need to defend myself for that in any way at all.”

He looks annoyed, before snorting and heading back to his seat. “No further questions, Your Honour.”

I sigh, moving to take my seat.

Pointed gets back up and calls Spoiled to the stands again.

The next couple minutes are spent watching the footage on the crystals.

I won’t lie, hearing from my spy in the jury about the emotions Spoiled was going through as each of the selected videos plays was glorious.

She went from anger, annoyance, fear, disgust, indignant, a whole slew of emotions. Oh, it was wonderful.

The reactions of the courtroom were something else though. Oh, there was anger, fear and disgust, but for whole different reasons, along with much else.

After they were all finished being shown, the jury was adjourned to make their decision.

Meanwhile, Diamond, Dad and I exited the courtroom along with everyone else to await being called back for the jury’s answer.

When we got out, Diamond and Dad hugged me, silently asking just what had upset me so much back there.

Finding a more private place to talk, I told them the cliff notes, without actually telling Dad about the EQG world, only that it was another world I’d visited using my powers.

Diamond knew about that world’s version of Luna’s daughter, but not my connection.

They both comforted me, until I was okay to returning to the hall with everypony else.

And, I’ll give you three guesses who had the gall to come up to us, acting like everything was fine.

“I am so looking forward to the verdict,” Spoiled chortles, looking at Diamond with what I bet she thinks is a warm smile, but looks more like a sinister sneer. “I know you think, showing those phony filmings of us, is going to win this for you, but I can assure you, once this is all over, the claims you two,” she looks from Dad to me, “keep insisting on having against me will be known as Fake News. Then Diamond and I can live a happy, wealthy life, without you two trying to taint it.”

“The only one tainted is you, Spoiled,” Dad glares at her. “How can you defend what you did to our daughters and act like everything is fine?”

Spoiled gives him a pitying look. “Because, my dear husband, I am in the right. You only believe you are in the right because she,” she points to me, “is an evil demon that has polluted your mind beyond help.”

“There were witnesses, you wench!” I snarl. “The CMC, the Element Bearers, Cheerilee, so many calling you out, yet you think you’re going to win? Seriously? Are you that blind?”

“Yes,” Spoiled says, looking away with a frown, clearly not answer my question. “That teacher needs to learn her place. Once this is over, she’ll be losing her job and I’ll get a proper teacher in that school. One who won’t let the filth have so much leverage.”

It takes everything I have to not obliterate her right here and now. She dares threaten to take Cheerilee’s job?! Is she fucking serious?! And did she just say she’d have her replaced with a teacher who’d treat non-rich ponies like garbage?!

Members of the School Board are here today and she honestly thinks they’ll just let her keep being the head after what they’ve heard and seen?!

The three of us move away from her, if only so we don’t have to bear her presence again until we return to the courtroom.



After about an hour, we’re all called back into the courtroom. We take our seats as the jury takes their place.

“Jury, have you all come to a verdict?” the judge asks.

A pale green Earth Pony stallion stands up, holding several sheets of paper in a hoof. “We find Mrs Spoiled Rich guilty of foal-neglect and abuse and that all custody rights should go to Mr. Filthy Rich.”

“WHAT?!” Spoiled stares at the stallion in shock and fury.

 “It is settled then,” the judge makes the verdict official. “I award full custody of Diamond Tiara and Screwball to Filthy Rich. Furthermore, Mrs Rich will be under a restraining order and is not allowed within twenty yards of either filly and a sum of one third of the Rich fortune will be transferred to her personal bank account for home expenses and to aid in paying for the therapy. Other matters will be discussed two weeks after Hearth Warming. Case dismissed.”

Yeah. Sadly, I couldn’t get my full wish that she be completely out of our lives permanently, but the chances she’s ever be cleared is zero. Let’s just say her doctor is someone from Ponyville who will easily be able to tell if she’s lying about being in the right state of mind.

___________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe you still have to give her all that money!” Apple Bloom says angrily, stomping a hoof.

We’re on the train headed back to Ponyville. Since Diamond is friends with the CMC now, we were all in the same cart. Princess Twilight and the other Element Bearers are in another, expect for Rarity, who will be returning to Ponyville a day or so from now. She’s visiting a certain stallion.

Silver Spoon gives Diamond a small one legged hug. “At least now she won’t be able to bother you all anymore.”

“Yes,” Miss Cheerilee says from her seat across from us, sighing. “Thankfully, she can’t fire me for speaking out unless she gets pardoned for her crimes against the school, which are the next case she’ll be in.”

I smirk. “Oh, I’d loved to see how she defends against that, especially with the footage where she insults the CMC without provocation. Seriously, she thinks evidence of her telling three fillies, right to their faces, that they’re worthless and insignificant lowlifes won’t call her right as Head of the School Board into question?”

Dad frowns. “Bad enough he was insulting Apple Bloom, but to say that about any young one, right to their faces...” he heaves a sigh. “Seriously, how did I not see what a horrible pony she truly is.”

I pop over to him and put a hoof on his shoulder. “Dad, it’s fine. You couldn’t have known. Spoiled was smart about it. Sure, I knew she was bad to the bone, but I’m a being of Chaos. It’d be weirder if I hadn’t been able to tell.”

He sighs again, before pulling Diamond, who’s sitting on his right, a little closer in a hug and reaching up to pull me into it as well. “At least we can enjoy Hearth’s Warming without her dampening the mood this year, or any year from now on.”

I nod, before looking to the CMC.

Time to lighten the mood. “So, Apple Bloom, I hear you, AJ, Granny Smith and Big Mac will be joining Pinkie Pie for Hearth’s Warming this year?”

Apple Bloom smiles, nodding. “Yeah. Cuz we’re family, we decided we’d all spend Hearth’s Warmin’ at Pinkie’s family’s rock farm.”

Silver Spoon frowns in confusion. “You know, I still don’t understand that. What’s the point of farming rocks anyway?”

I shrug. “Eh. One of life’s delightfully mundane mysteries.”

Silver gives me an odd look.

“So, looking forward to it, Apple Bloom?” I ask, returning my gaze to the farm filly.

“She should! It’s gonna be so much fun!”

We all scream, taken aback by the sudden appearance of the third pink pony on this train, who is now sitting on my other side, a foreleg around me.

“Pinkie, how did you...?” I begin, before trailing off and facehoofing. “Nope. Why should I even bother asking?”

“So, what’re you’re plans for Hearth’s Warming, Screwy?” Pinkie asks, her face coming inches from mine, with that wide grin that is still kind of unnerving, even Discord has agreed with me on that.

“Speaking of the best draconequs dad in all of Equestria,” there’s a flash of light and Discord appears between myself and Pinkie, wearing a Santa hat. “I cannot tell you how happy I am that you’re inviting me over for Hearth’s Warming.”

Dad gives him a slightly anxious look, but mixed with gratitude. “Well, if not for you, I wouldn’t have my little filly back,” he gives me a small squeeze, “and without her, Diamond would still be in that monster’s hold.” His face darkens a little at that last part, both out of anger and guilt.

Discord waves his claw. “Not a problem, my dear fellow father. I was more than happy to lend a helping paw.”

“This year’s Hearth’s Warming is sure going to be pretty interesting for you guys,” Scootaloo looks from Diamond to myself. “I mean, how many ponies can say they’re having the Lord of Chaos over as a guest?”

“Thank you, Scootaloo,” he says, smiling warmly at her. “It is nice to know I can spend such an important day with my little ball of chaos.”

I chuckle. Yep. And, if Spoiled doesn’t heed the restraining order against her, Discord will be on hand to deal some chaotic justice. She can never get enough, as far as I’m concerned.

“Still can’t believe winter came to Ponyville so fast this year,” Sweetie Belle says, looking out the window at the snow.

Yeah. That’s what happens when nopony informs Rainbow prior to her first winter with Tank that tortoises hibernate during that season and she goes cuckoo, causing a massive snowsplosion that brings winter in an instant.

Discord laughs. “Ah, yes. I must commend Rainbow Dash for the lovely little bit of chaos she caused doing that. Quite impressive, indeed.”

I giggle, before turning to watch the scenery as we move along. I know how things go for Pinkie and AJ’s families and since Shining and Cadance have yet to inform everypony that she’s expecting a foal, I’ve that to look forward to after winter’s over.

After that though, I’m clueless and I think I’m honestly happy about that. I did try to learn about the show’s future episodes, but I got blocked.

Literally, I tried to look it up online both here and in the EQG world and right away I got a big red X come up on the screens. Even tried going to alternate realities, both Equestria and normal Earths and still nothing.

Guess the Rules of Chaos are against me knowing anymore about Equestria’s future than I already did upon arrival.

Though my exploring led me to some... interesting versions of Equestria. Let’s just say I experienced a few things, both enjoyable and disturbing.

Can’t say I’m unhappy about not having a clue what comes next here in Equestria, though. Knowing how things had to play out had honestly dulled things a bit. I had to watch whatever I did carefully, fearful I could alter the timeline and screw things up big time.

Diamond’s redemption and the CMC getting their marks was the thing that had caused me the most anxiety. Now that it’s all done with, I’m free of that burden. I can actually just relax and live my life in Equestria without a care.

So, I may not know what the future holds, but I can’t wait to see what happens.