//------------------------------//
// Waifu Thief Flash Sentry and Private Eye Twilight Sparkle Meet for Coffee. Coffee Intensifies. 
// Story: Super Gypsy Lord Admiral Nyronus Shachza Shouldn't Write Shipfics, Volume II 
// by Shachza 
//------------------------------//

Once upon a time in the land of Equestria there was a very clever pony named Twilight Sparkle. She was so very clever, in fact she was so clever that Princess Celestia took her on as a student. But Twilight Sparkle couldn't figure out the greatest mystery of all: how was Flash Century so good at stealing waifus? It boggles the mind; he was just amazing! One day it was her heart, the next day it was Trixie's heart, and the day after that it was Fluttershy's heart. How was it possible? Nobody knew; it was just so amazing. So she resolved to go and ask Flash Sentry himself.

"Flash Century, how are you so good at first stealing my heart, in the first Equestria Girls movie, and then stealing my panties in the second one? Please come and tell me your secrets, so that I may replicate your success with Timber Spruce."

Flash Century smiled mysteriously. "Oh, young grasshopper, you have much to learn. Come, follow me, and I shall teach you the ways of waifu stealing. Or husbando stealing, depending on which way you swing."

Flash took Twilight out to a grassy hill overlooking the planes outside Canterlot. "See the little bare patch over there? I want you to visualize the waifu you want."

"OK, I am imagining Sunset Shimmer standing there, so shapely, so cute, so amazing. I want to run my fingers through her bacon hair all day.

"OK, good. Now, realize and come to terms with the fact that you will never get her. She cannot be yours, for you are a mare and she is a mare as well, and Hasbro studios will never allow you to officially be together. The closest they get is allowing background characters to be 'best friends'"

"Darn. So what's the next step?"

"Realizing that you can never attain her, date me instead. Do you want to do coffee?"

"Yeah, sure I guess. God that was a real letdown. Like this whole thing feels really let down-ish. Why are you this way, Sentry?"

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. Waifu stealing just comes naturally for me, but it's not for everyone."

"I know. But you're so charming and handsome about it, I can't stay mad for long. So hey, I guess let's get coffee."

They went and got coffee. Unfortunately it was very mediocre, just like this story.