Of Moments and Melodies

by Church

Chapter IV

I cried. I cried ‘cuz I just didn’t know what else to do.

I was lying face down in the middle of my room. My tears were flowing from my eyes like the gutter during a harsh rain. My head hurt. My bones ached. Mum had been really angry with me this time. I didn’t know where Fluttershy was, but I was too weak to raise my head to find out.

My blood mixed with the salt from my tears on the carpet; I could taste it. My nose was running, my ears were ringing, and every last ounce of happiness was drained away from me that day. Mum exited my room, irate, unconcerned, unattached, and with her foal lying on the floor. She wasn’t like the monster from my nightmares-

She was the monster from my nightmares.

So I cried... I cried, and cried, and cried.

There was a breeze floating in through the window. It was cool and gentle... like the touch of my new friend. Perhaps it was the touch of my new friend, I couldn’t tell, for I was staring at the carpet, which didn’t seem so plush anymore. I couldn’t know for sure. I did know one thing, though. My window was not open, because it was raining, and I knew how mad Mum would get if I had done something so stupid as to leave it open. I could hear the rain hit the window... and it was the same sound from three years ago.

There was a voice in my head. Faint, at first, but it gradually made its way forward. It began to replace marching boots and percussion lines. It began to replace shouts about how worthless and meek I was. It was nice, ‘cuz if I had to listen to that for the rest of my day, I would most likely just give up.

There was a voice in my head. It was soft, and sweet...

“Daisy?” Fluttershy asked, trying to attract my attention by running a hoof through my milky white mane. “Daisy? Um... are you okay? Please be okay...”

I struggled with myself to lift only my head to face her. I was shaking... everything felt so cold. I met Fluttershy’s tender blue eyes, heaven in Equestria.

“Oh, no, you poor thing!” she said in that voice of hers. “Goodness, let’s get you in bed. Let me help you.”

I groaned as Fluttershy scooped me up in her hooves and transported me to our bed. My blood and tears ran off of me and onto her, but they didn’t seem to stain her coat or anything. She must be a miracle.

But, where was my miracle but a few minutes ago?

“Oh, dear. Are you hurt anywhere else?” Fluttershy said as she used a tissue to wipe away the blood trickling from my nose. “I’m so sorry, I, um, I can’t believe that she would do that...”

I turned away from my friend, ‘cuz it hurt too much. Not ‘cuz of the pain from my nose or the bruise under my eye, but ‘cuz my friend just... just wasn’t there. Where had she gone? I know that Mum was ignoring her, probably so that she could just stay mad at me and me only. But if she would have at least made her presence known, it could have been different.

“Oh... do you not want my help? Was I not being gentle enough? Oh, um... I’m sorry,” she said as she drew her hooves back from my body. “I just can’t believe that-”

“It doesn’t matter,” I finally cut in amidst sniffles. I pulled my covers up to my shoulders in an attempt to block everything out. “I’m used to it. I can handle it.”

I could sense Fluttershy flinch from behind me. There was a moment of silence between the two of us that, to me, seemed to span a long time.

“U-used to it?” Fluttershy said, taken aback. It was apparent she had no idea. So I gave her that idea.

“This happens all the time.” I paused. “Well... used to. I had been doing better of late. But now...” I trailed off. I sniffed, and I tossed my covers over my head, ‘cuz the world was a little bit darker anyway.

Once again, Fluttershy was silent. I knew that she was there, ‘cuz I could feel her pressure on the side of the bed. But she wasn’t saying anything. Maybe she was shocked. Maybe she was in disbelief. Maybe she had gone mute. She didn’t have a very strong voice to begin with, so maybe the situation was too much for her.

“Where were you?” I asked, breaking the silence. My voice came out muffled through the bed-sheets. I didn’t feel like showing the world my face, ‘cuz it most likely didn’t want to see it anyway. I probably looked ridiculous.

“E-excuse me?” Fluttershy responded hesitantly.

“Why didn’t you say anything when I shouted?” I clarified. I needed her to answer, ‘cuz I feel as though a response was necessary. I waited for a couple of seconds, it felt like I was treading the waters of a bottomless ocean. Nothing happened.

I threw my covers off and spun around to face her. “WHY!?” I shrieked. I covered my mouth ‘cuz I was being too loud. Fluttershy raised a hoof to her chest in defense.

“Oh, um, I couldn’t, ‘cuz I, um-”

“'Cuz you were too weak to!?” I whisper-yelled.

Fluttershy studied me with her stunning blue eyes. Those stunners were hurt. They were getting all watery. They were beginning to look like mine, I assumed. Oh-oh. Suddenly, I went even colder inside. Fluttershy was my friend, and the only one I had. I didn’t know why she didn’t respond to me before... but acting like my Mum was definitely not the way to find out.

“I didn’t mean that,” I told her in a vain attempt to comfort her. I couldn’t let her cry, ‘cuz then I would be no better than Mum, and then I would truly hate myself.

“It’s just... I... ugh.” I didn’t know what to say. I covered my face with a hoof. My bruise stung me as I came down on it. “Ow.”

Fluttershy was just staring at the floor. I watched her through my hooves, ‘cuz I didn’t want to make her feel alone, but I didn’t know what else to say. I was hurting too, after all.

I looked out of my window. Rain, rain and more rain. It made me want to be happy again. It made me want us to be happy, if anything. Finally, because I could not let my friend sulk, and partly for myself, I changed the subject.

“What if we could just play in the rain? Just forever, you and me...” I said, gazing longingly out the window. I paused, just to make sure I had her attention. “Could we do it?”

I could see her look at me from the corner of my eye. She wiped away a tear that never fully formed. “Oh, yes. We would get very wet though, and in turn we would be playing with a lot more weight than we currently carry. Do you have an umbrella at all?”

I smiled, which was weird, ‘cuz it wasn’t really a smiley occasion. I turned to my friend, her features reflecting back at her in my violet eyes. I know, ‘cuz I could see them.

“Oh, was that a rhetorical question?” Fluttershy asked me, apparently confused by my appearance.

“No, no,” I told her, still smiling. “I was just wondering what you thought.”

What she thought. I was always wondering what she thought. What did go on up in that pony’s head?

Fluttershy managed a wry grin. “Well, in that case, I think it would be nice.”

I looked out the window again. I wondered how things were different out there.

“Would you miss the house?” I asked.

Fluttershy scanned our bedroom, as if the walls were foreign to her. “This house is really just a memory now,” she said.

I smiled. I smiled at the outside world, at Fluttershy’s friends, at the ever-changing scenery. I smiled at long walks, and lightning bugs, and roses, like Pop and I used to smile at together. I wondered just how different it was from the inside world.

“Good,” I said to my best friend... my only friend, “‘cuz now I think that I am just strong enough to do this.”

Song: Is There A Ghost

By: Band of Horses