//------------------------------// // When You Burn The Bridges And Your Castle Crumbles // Story: On The Edge // by Roxxi //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash let her gaze fall back down to the rocky terrain below her cliff. She felt a twinge of cold pass through her. It was a familiar feeling, something she had been feeling more and more through out the past months leading to this day. Loneliness… “I shouldn’t have pushed them all away… Twilight… Applejack… Rarity… Pinkie… Fluttershy… I should have let them in; I should have let them help me… Now it’s too late for anypony to help me, I have to do this…” Dash whispered quietly, tears misting her magenta eyes. She couldn’t help but cry when she remembered all the times she had sent her friends away while she locked herself away in her cloud home, she even pushed Soarin away, that had to be why… Why had he betrayed her? It must have been her… She became a lifeless pony after the baby had died at birth, and it hadn’t improved since. She had spiraled further and further into a debilitating despair, it had felt like her wings and her heart had been grounded with lead constraints. She almost vomited in disgust when she thought about the way she had acted, the worst incident she had had against her friends. “Element of Loyalty? Tch… After what I did to them… I shouldn’t even be allowed to be an Element…” Rainbow Dash And Soarin’s Cloud Home, The Skies Of Ponyville, 3 Months ago Rainbow Dash curled tighter against the pillow on her bed and sniffled, throwing away another tissue onto the growing pile of damp and dirtied tissues. She had tried going back to work, to get back into her normal routine, but the spirit of joy that flying gave her had left. In fact, she couldn’t even remember what joy and happiness felt like anymore, everyday now was a gray routine of crying and grieving. “Why… What did I do..? Was I not fit to be a mother..?” She nodded, of course she wasn’t fit to be a mother, and she wasn’t fit to be a pegasus, let alone a pony at all. “I should be a diamond dog… No, even that’s too good for a screw up like me… I should be a roach or worm…” She shambled out of bed and head to the kitchen, maybe some hard cider would do something this time. She knew it wouldn’t, it never did. It only made things worse, she couldn’t get out this. “Useless…” She sighed and pulled open the fridge, grabbing at one of Soarin’s hard cider bottles, the kind he only had after a good show when there was nothing important coming up in the next few days. She popped the top off and threw back her head, draining the bottle in seconds. She twitched and sneezed, nothing. “Buck… I can’t even get wasted right…” She took another one from the fridge and was about to pull the cap off again when a knock came from the door. Visitors? Who would-? “Rainbow Dash? It’s me, Fluttershy, and the others… Are you home? We wanted to talk to you, if that’s okay I mean…” Rainbow Dash let the fridge door swing shut and sighed, this was something she didn’t need right now, she just wanted quiet. She opened the front door and there before her were Fluttershy on her porch and the rest of her friends in Twilight’s hot air balloon. She grimaced slightly and Fluttershy offered a timid smile. “H-hello Rainbow Dash, I was wondering, I mean we were wondering… If you maybe wanted to get out of the house for a little bit and go have lunch, if that’s not asking too much I mean, I wouldn’t want to impose…” The yellow pegasus looked down at her hooves and muttered a few unheard words. “I thought I said I just wanted to be alone… I don’t want to go anywhere, it isn’t worth it… I… I’m not worth…” She whispered the last part to herself, and Fluttershy didn’t seem to hear it but persisted. “We’re your friends, we just want you to be happy, so if-” “I WANT TO BE ALONE! OK?!” Fluttershy squeaked and took a step back when Rainbow Dash snapped angrily at her. Dash turned around to head back inside. “Just go…” Fluttershy reached out a hoof a placed it gently on the cyan pegasus’s shoulder, Dash froze. “Dash…” Dash whipped around and backhoofed Fluttershy across the muzzle. “DON’T TOUCH ME!” Fluttershy stumbled and fell from the force of Dash’s strike and held a hoof to stop the bleeding that had started from the cut just below her eye. The mares in the basket of the balloon gasped in horror and shock and Rainbow Dash took a few stumbling steps backwards. “F-Fluttershy- I didn’t- I mean-” Dash’s gaze hardened and she turned around and pushed the door to her home open again. “I told you to leave…” She didn’t even glance back she heard her friends shout at her in confusion, anger, and to bring her back to them. She didn’t even hear whatever Fluttershy choked out through her tears. She didn’t care what they had said. She had told them to leave, they didn’t, consequences happened. Present Day, Cliff Edge Rainbow Dash shuddered and fell to her knees, tears starting to run from her eyes. She truly just realized how bad she had hurt her friends. Not just Fluttershy, but the others as well. “Oh Celestia… Fluttershy, what did I do..? I’m… I’m so sorry…” She beat the ground with her hooves, if she could take it back, if she could have taken a blow instead, she would have gladly done it a thousand times over. What made it worse, however, was the fact that even she had so cruelly treated her friends; they continued coming back, every week, once a week. Even though the visits and attempts to reach her became further apart, they still came, no matter how she rejected them, how she pushed them away. “How could I have done that to my friends..? Why did they come back..?” Dash dragged herself closer to the edge, it wouldn’t long soon, she was going to jump at sunrise. She had decided that firmly, so the day would start with a gift, her last gift. The gift of not having such a worthless pony taking up space anymore. Dash rummaged through the saddle bag she had brought with her and pulled a small pile of pills. Tranquilizers, she had stolen them from the hospital before coming here to make sure she wouldn’t be able to back out of this. She put the pills to her lips and swallowed, shuddering slightly at the taste. “I wonder… if Soarin’s happier now… Is he happy now that he has somepony better?” Dash wondered aloud as tears started to stream from her eyes. She vividly remembered the day her world really fell apart, when Soarin had left her for good. One Month Ago, Rainbow Dash And Soarin’s Cloud Home Rainbow Dash sat on the couch of her cloud home’s living room, still looking worse for wear, but also better than she had in a week or so. Sure, her mane was disheveled, her eyes were red from crying, and coat was a little dull, but she didn’t care. No, tonight she was going to turn things around and pick her life up again, starting with her marriage. Dash had noticed that Soarin seemed to be growing a little more distant each day, and after every show on the road when he came home, it felt like he wasn’t as interested in her. “I just have to show him I love him, that’s all. I’m sure the girls will forgive me for missing whatever they had planned tonight, they’ll understand when they find out it was to fix things with my husband, right? Of course, they’re… they’re my friends, even if I was terrible to them… to Fluttershy…” Dash tapered off into silence, looking at the offending hoof that had struck her friend. She shook her head, a small glimmer of determination in her eyes. “No, I can’t let myself get down again, I have to be strong for Soarin, and I won’t let him go.” Dash said and settled onto the couch to wait for her love to come home. A few hours later, Dash was snoring lightly on the couch. The soft breeze of air and whoosh of the front door woke her up. Rubbing at her eyes, Rainbow Dash stood up and faced the entrance to the living room to see a swaying blue pegasus stumble in. She smiled; he probably partied too hard again after the show was done like he usually did. “Welcome back Soarin; I missed you so much… I’m sorry I’ve been so down lately, forgive me?” Dash asked as she stepped towards him, expecting a kiss or words of condolence from him. A stunned look of surprise and slight panic, however, was not what she had expected at all. “R-Rainbow Dash? What the hay are you doing here? I thought you had that thing with your friends and stuff. What- Why are you here? You can’t be here!” Soarin finished with a slurred growl, as if he was mad at her for being home to greet him. Dash tilted her head in confusion and took another step closer. “Soarin, honey, what’s wrong? I just wanted to see you; I want us to be like we used to be.” Dash smiled hopefully at him. She didn’t care if he was drunk off his hooves or not, she was going to show him how much he meant to her. “Come here honey, I’ll get you a nice-” “Like, oh my Celestia Soarin! This is like, where you live and junk? Totally sweet baby! Hey, can we get hot and heavy in the kitchen, that’d be like, super awesome!” An obviously drunk pegasus mare wandered into the living room and spotted Rainbow Dash. “Whoa, is she like, your maid or a prostitute or something?” Dash looked between the stranger and her husband and she was very confused now. “S-Soarin, who is th-this? What is she talking about? Tell me she’s just a crazy fan, Soarin, please!” Dash was starting to back away now and Soarin rubbed his neck uncomfortably. “Well… This is Stardust, and she’s… Kind of…” Soarin was tackled to the ground by Stardust who grinned deliriously and bubbled happily. “I’m his lover, and we’re totally gonna smash all over the place, that’s like, totally cool, isn’t it? I’m gonna be sleeping with a celebrity!” “Y-you’re lying! He’s my husband!” Dash screamed at the drunken mare on top of Soarin. She looked pleadingly at Soarin. “T-tell her Soarin, tell her that you don’t love her and that you’re my husband!” Soarin shrugged the inebriated pegasus off of his back and reached into his saddlebag and pulled out a stack of papers. “I didn’t want you to find out like this Dash, but we’re no longer married, I had the marriage annulled while the team was in Las Pegasus last month, I just didn’t have time to tell you.” He looked down at the floor and scuffed a hoof against the cloud. “I… I just can’t be with you anymore, you’ve been sort of a total bummer lately and I don’t want to be with a pony that can’t go three minutes without crying over a baby who died months ago or crying about how she beat up somepony. Dash, you’re a wreck and I can’t deal with it anymore, I’m sorry… But we’re done…” He turned away, wrapped a wing around Stardust and walked out the house. “Come on Star, we’ll get a hotel room or something.” The door to the now unbearably empty house slammed shut and Rainbow Dash collapsed on the floor. What just happened, what did she do? “S-Soarin… P-please c-come back…” Dash called quietly, her voice staring to crack as the house answered her with cold silence. She threw back her head and wailed as tears flooded her eyes and poured down her face onto the cloud floor. “SOARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!! COME BACK SOARIN!!!” Dash fell onto her side and curled up tightly, shaking violently, her pleading screams blurring in to choked sobs and retching noises as she threw up on the floor. Present Day, Cliff Edge “I’m the reason he left, I was just too much to bear… I just wasn’t worth it… I never was…” Rainbow Dash choked back her tears, they weren’t going to help her now, the only thing that would help would be reaching the bottom of the cliff. Looking out to the horizon she saw the sky starting to lighten as the first rays of Celestia’s sun broke through the night sky. Getting shakily to her legs, Dash swallowed what ever remaining pills were still in the bag and spread her wings in a test to see if the medication had taken its hold on her yet. Her wings gave a few pitiful twitches and nothing more; there was no going back now. She stood on the very edge of the cliff and closed her eyes. “Good bye everypony… I’m sorry I ruined your lives… Forgive me…” An almost serene smile broke out on her face and she pushed off. Rainbow Dash jumped from the edge and plummeted like a stone; wind trailed through her knotted mane and ruffled her immobilized wings. As she turned and twisted through the buffeting air that roared past her, she glanced up at the rocky ledge she had just leapt from. It seemed the meds were making her hallucinate now because through her tear blurred eyes and the medicated haze she was in, Rainbow Dash could have sworn she saw a figure standing on the ledge. “RAINBOW DASH, NO!!!” Important Notice And Apology Hey everypony, I'm sure most of you are wondering why I haven't posted in about a week. You can blame my terrible drunk driver friend Xavier for driving through the telephon poles near my house and knocking out my cable and internet. I am very sorry that I haven't been able to make you all cry in so long, I hope this chapter makes up for that a little bit. You can hate me if you want, I totally deserve it... *hides under a rock* Also, I regret to inform you all that I'll be in Hawaii from the 2nd till the 21st of July visiting family, and as such, I may or may not be able to post anything till I get back, so please don't abandon me, pwease? Love Sincerely, Roxxi