The next week passed like wildfire for Fluttershy as she hurried to make the preparations for the impending new addition to her family. She had asked the Princess how old the foal would be when it was… well, “born”; Princess Celestia had told her that because the Mirror was a powerful magical object, it was all but impossible to determine how old the filly or colt would be, and that in all her years dealing with the Foal Mirror she had seen anywhere from newborns to a filly at least two years of age. This, of course, did nothing to help Fluttershy prepare her cottage for the young pony- if anything, it only made her mind spin faster.
Will I need to lock the cupboards? Or will the foal be old enough to understand what I mean when I say no? Oh, do I need to put pillows on all the corners of the tables, or will the foal be old enough to walk without stumbling? Oooh, this is so confusing!
But in every ounce of stress and worry, there was a pound of anticipation and love- because everything she was going through would be worth it, she knew. She and Rarity were going to have a foal, a beautiful filly or handsome colt to raise as their own! That one, singular thought propelled her through all of her preparations, every purchase and every renovation that she had to make. And Rarity was always there with her; every day after the Boutique closed Rarity made her way to the cottage to help Fluttershy work by straightening and cleaning and folding where she could. The yellow Pegasus felt her heart swell with love whenever the unicorn entered her home, even if by the time Fluttershy was finished for the night she was too tired to do much else with Rarity than curl up on the couch and fall asleep in her embrace; that was more than enough for Fluttershy. And while Rarity never really said too much during her visits, Fluttershy just knew that inside, her marefriend was bubbling with the same excitement that she was; after all, Rarity was going to move in with her once the foal was born, and then they could truly be their own little family. The prospect of Rarity living with her brought a splash of color to Fluttershy’s cheeks every time she thought of it, but it was something that she wanted almost as much as the foal… to share a home, share a bed with the mare she loved… It was almost too much for the timid Pegasus to handle, but it was something she thought about constantly as she worked. Slowly everything came together, and deep down in her heart Fluttershy knew that once this foal had arrived, everything would be absolutely, indisputably, unequivocally perfect.
But just as fog can blind our eyes, so can excitement and anticipation blind our hearts, and make us miss tell-tale signs that we should be able to see in the one we love most…
~*~*~*~*~
The halls of Canterlot Castle were surprisingly quiet; especially for what Fluttershy would have thought would be one of the busiest times of the day. The sun was only a few of its own lengths above the horizon now, and early enough in the day that Fluttershy was certain there would have been maids and grooms bustling about, Day and Night Guards changing positions… something other than the silent hallways and empty rooms that she saw now. She and Rarity slowly made their way through the winding network of hallways in the upper parts of the castle, gradually climbing towards the chamber that housed the artifact they sought… but the number of ponies that they had seen since their arrival had been in the single digits, and now the absence of other ponies was beginning to unnerve Fluttershy. These hallways were smaller than the ones below, simply decorated with a plush red carpet on the floor and polished white marble walls around them. The silence seemed to close in around her, and something about the idea that these chambers should be humming with activity but mysteriously were not made the hair at the base of her mane stand on end; instinctively she stepped closer to Rarity, brushing against her marefriend’s side as they walked.
“I-is it always this quiet?” she whispered to Rarity. “I mean… where are all the ponies?”
To her surprise, it was the pony leading the two mares down the hallway who answered, first with a good-natured chuckle, then with gentle words.
“The Castle always runs very efficiently, Fluttershy. Any changes to the Guard, any switching of day and night staff are all accomplished within minutes, as soon as the sun rises and the moon sets. And believe me, both Luna and I prefer it to be quiet in these halls- these are very much our home, where the rest of the Castle is the capital.” Princess Celestia turned a violet eye to her and smiled warmly. “I hope that makes sense.”
Fluttershy nodded and blushed at her own silliness. “O-oh, of course it does, Your Highness… I guess… I guess I was just confused.”
Princess Celestia giggled lightly, a beautiful sound that seemed to draw all of the tension from Fluttershy like a salve. “Please, don’t apologize. Today is not a day for apologies, after all!” The alicorn Princess turned to face forward again, her sparkling multi-hued mane shimmering in the sunlight filtering in through the windows. “And please, do not hesitate to ask questions; I assure you I won’t throw you in the dungeon for being curious!”
The Pegasus nodded, and as if on cue the feelings of excitement that had been quelled by the curiosity and fear surged to the forefront of her mind again. They were actually here; the day that Fluttershy had dreamed about for the past two months was finally here! Today was the day! She cast a glance at Rarity as her cheeks heated with excitement.
“Can you believe it, Rarity?” she whispered. “We’re here, it’s today! We’re going to get our foal today!” Fluttershy couldn’t keep a small giggle of excitement from bubbling up and out of her, and the tinkling, mirthful sound echoed around the silent halls in an ethereal manner. She reached out and nuzzled Rarity’s cheek with her snout. “Oh Rarity… I can’t wait…”
The unicorn gave her a small smile. “Oh Fluttershy… I’m very excited too, darling… if a bit… nervous.” Rarity’s blue eyes found hers, and Fluttershy smiled broadly… but the unicorn only held her gaze for a second before turning away and focusing back on the hallway around them.
The Pegasus frowned ever so slightly. It really wasn’t like Rarity to be so… distant. Something tickled the back of Fluttershy’s mind- something that told her to look deeper, ask Rarity if something was wrong… but before she could even begin, Princess Celestia spoke again.
“How did Twilight and your other friends take the news that the two of you would be having a foal?” she asked over her shoulder as she led them around yet another turn. “She told me in her letters that she and Pinkie Pie were very excited for you, but I’m curious to know if that was whole-hearted or not.”
“Oh heavens yes,” Rarity replied, tossing her mane over her shoulder. “She and Pinkie were most excited for us… in fact, I daresay that if the train had taken any longer on the platform we would have had two couples here instead of just one.” She sighed. “Pinkie Pie looked about to leap onto the caboose with poor Twilight. I would keep the Foal Mirror warmed up for them, Your Highness- I think that they both may be writing you letters quite soon.”
Celestia laughed again. “Oh my word… well, I suppose it’s a good thing that the train departed on time! I try not to do more than one foal per day out of the Mirror, and with a pony like Pinkie Pie, who knows what could have happened!”
“Indeed, Your Highness,” Rarity agreed.
“And what of your other friends, Rainbow Dash and Applejack; what do they think?”
Fluttershy looked to Rarity, but the white unicorn’s eyes were again focused ahead of her, staring unblinking into her thoughts, so after a moment’s hesitation, Fluttershy answered.
“Well, Rainbow is happy for us, even though she said she doesn’t want to have a foal ever… b-but I don’t think she means that, Your Highness, I think she wants to have one eventually.” Fluttershy sighed. “And Applejack…”
“She cried,” Rarity said matter-of-factly, her eyes still staring ahead as if she were trying to see straight through the walls of the Castle to the mysteries beyond. “She took off her silly hat, hugged us both, and sobbed like a schoolfilly with her first broken heart.”
Fluttershy’s wings drooped slightly. Applejack had cried a lot at the station… all the while holding her hat to her chest; the hat that held the picture of Soarin’ inside. It was really hard for Fluttershy to watch Applejack hurt like she was… especially because of another pony, be it directly or indirectly, and especially when there was nothing to be done for her.
Princess Celestia’s frown was easily heard in her words. “My goodness… I hope that it was not because of the two of you having a foal. It’s never easy if one of your closest friends does not support you.”
Rarity sighed. “No, Your Highness, it was not because she does not support us… rather, I think it is because she envies us.” The unicorn sighed and muttered something under her breath that Fluttershy couldn’t catch, and the alicorn ahead of them simply nodded in response. The trio continued on in silence, and in that silence Fluttershy’s excitement began to build again. It was almost as if she could feel the Mirror coming closer; feel the incredible innate magic of it flowing around them, building up on her coat and feathers like dewdrops from a cloud. Her wings lifted slightly off her back as Princess Celestia led them around two more turns, the time between each shorter than the last; her smile, which had slipped away during the discussion of Applejack, returned in full force, and by the time Princess Celestia stopped before one particularly large doorway on her right side, Fluttershy’s cheeks were beginning to ache from it.
The Princess turned to them and smiled fondly. “My dear little ponies,” she said quietly. “I welcome you to the Chamber of the Foal Mirror.” Her horn glowed with soft golden light and the door behind her swung open noiselessly.
Fluttershy’s chest felt like it would explode as she, Rarity and the Princess entered the Chamber; golden sunlight poured into the room from three massive windows, one along each of the three adjacent walls that gave them an incredible view of Canterlot beyond… but the Pegasus’ teal eyes had latched onto the one feature in the white room that was not the gold gilding along the walls. The Foal Mirror, standing alone in the center of the room, was easily as tall as Princess Celestia and perhaps half as wide as it was tall, the glass of it so crystal clear that it felt to Fluttershy that she was looking through a doorway into another room instead of a reflection. The frame around the edges of it was deceptively thin mahogany, chased and gilt with interweaving strands of silver and gold vines that wound up the sides and around the top, culminating in a single large diamond nestled at the center, wrapped in gold and silver leaves. All along the vines were the most intricate carvings that Fluttershy had ever seen- carvings of ponies running up and down the vines, leaping, flying, playing amongst the leaves as if they had not a care in the world, all so incredibly life-like that as her eyes wandered the frame Fluttershy could have sworn that she saw them move.
Her heart beat faster in her chest as the Princess walked before the Mirror and bowed reverently… but to her surprise, there was no reflection of the alicorn in the glass. In fact, the only thing that the Mirror was reflecting right at that moment was the doorway behind her, and the details of the hallway beyond. Fluttershy frowned, but it was a frown that she didn’t really feel- the excitement in her seemed to be taking over her whole body, almost making her shake with anticipation.
“Princess..? Um, why are there no reflections in the Mirror?” she asked quietly. The Princess rose from her bow and smiled at her.
“This is not your ordinary mirror, Fluttershy. Nothing will happen with it until I touch it with my magic- and only alicorn magic can activate it.” She walked to the right side of the Mirror; her horn glowed gently and she touched the corner of it, where all of the vines crossed- immediately the golden vines lit up brightly, the magic that the Princess put into it flowing gently around that side of the frame. “The Mirror does not work for just anypony, either. There has to be enough love in their hearts, enough love for each other, to give this foal life.” She walked around the back of the Mirror to the left side and touched her horn to the same place she had on the right; immediately the golden vines lit up along the frame, glowing like liquid sunlight around silver vines and diamond at the top. The Princess stood off to one side of the Mirror and gazed evenly at Fluttershy and Rarity. “Do you both understand this? That this foal is not a construct, this foal is not a toy; this foal is a child, a real, flesh-and-blood filly or colt that will be yours.”
Fluttershy nodded eagerly. “Yes, Your Highness, we understand.” To her left, Rarity nodded as well, and perhaps it was a trick of her eyes from watching the frames of the Mirror for too long… but for half a moment, she could have sworn she saw doubt flickered across Princess Celestia’s face. But as quickly as it had appeared it vanished, and the alicorn smiled at them again.
“Then Fluttershy and Rarity of Ponyville, I present you to the Foal Mirror.” Princess Celestia stepped before the Mirror and touched her horn to the diamond at the center; and as she withdrew to the side, it immediately began to glow with a brilliant white light that grew brighter and brighter- as it did, the silver vines dimmed, and the gold ones flared all the brighter, enough that Fluttershy had to squint to see the surface of the Mirror.
At first, nothing happened; the surface of the Mirror still reflected nothing but the room around them and the door behind them for several long seconds. Then the glow from the vines cooled slightly, and the crystalline Mirror changed; the reflections in it wavered, as if the glass had suddenly become liquid. Slowly, the lines from the room shifted and rippled… then as suddenly as they had changed, they snapped back straight, and the Mirror once again became solid. Several more moments passed as Rarity and Fluttershy watched… and still nothing happened.
Fluttershy started to get a horrible feeling in her stomach as she watched the blank Mirror. The Princess said that as long as we had enough love… we… we have enough love, don’t we..? She glanced at Celestia, hoping that she wouldn’t see remorse or sorrow… and thankfully, what she saw there was a small smile that said only one thing: Wait.
The Pegasus swallowed slightly and turned back to the Mirror… and ever so slowly before her eyes, something began to change.
Ever so subtly, a shape began to form opposite Fluttershy; at first it was nothing more than a vague shadow, but as the seconds passed it solidified, and within a minute, a perfect mirror copy of the yellow Pegasus rose to her hooves and shook out her wings and mane before smiling out at the real Fluttershy, who could only blink and gape, her mouth slightly open in surprise.
“Wh-what..?” She glanced at Rarity, who had her blue eyes locked fervently on her side of the Mirror, as if her entire life rode on what happened next.
And after several more seconds, a shape began to form on the unicorn’s side in the same fashion that the reflection of Fluttershy had, slowly but surely forming the shape of her marefriend in every last, perfect detail. The mirror-Rarity tossed her mane and turned to the mirror-Fluttershy, giving her a small smile before turning back to her real counterpart… who made a small noise in the back of her throat that was impossible to read.
Fluttershy stared at the Mirror, and was about to ask the Princess what happened now, when to her surprise and amazement… the reflections spoke.
“For the incredible gift of bringing a life into this world, and all the joys therein,” the Rarity-reflection said, her voice calm and serene.
“For the simple beauty of a family, no matter the size or form,” Fluttershy’s reflection said, her words strong and confident as she gazed at the real Pegasus, a small smile on her lips. Fluttershy blinked, her heart pounding wildly. What… is going on..?
Then, as one, the two reflections turned to one another, smiled lovingly, and touched their noses together; as they touched, the surface of the Mirror ignited in a blaze of light that put the glow of the vines to shame- a light that forced Fluttershy to close her eyes against its blinding power. Around her, a wind began to blow, steadily growing stronger and stronger as if she were flying through a windstorm, tossing her long mane around her face and buffeting her wings against her as she spread them slightly to maintain her footing…
… and then, as quickly as it had come, the wind died away, and the intense light faded.
Fluttershy’s heart pounded in her ears, her breath coming in short, rapid draws as she held her eyes close long after the light had vanished. Silence filled the room around her, all noise drowned out by her own racing thoughts… and as much as she wanted to open her eyes, she found herself unable to do so. What happened…? Who… where…
Suddenly, she heard Rarity gasp next to her, and before she could even think, the Pegasus opened her eyes… and looked at the foot of the Mirror.
There, huddled on the floor before the huge Mirror, was a very small pony.
Fluttershy felt her chest squeeze tight and unbidden tears rose in her eyes as she gazed at the filly- because it was most definitely a filly. Her mane was a perfect blend of her two mothers; it was just long enough to fall around her shoulders as she lay on the white marble floor- smooth and flowing like Fluttershy, but delicately curled at the ends, drawing a definite parallel to Rarity. She was a perfect, flawless shade of the lightest lavender that Fluttershy had ever seen, and her mane took the beautiful blue-violet tones from Rarity and blended it seamlessly with a tone of pink that could only come from Fluttershy. Her tail was ever so slightly curled, just enough that it looked tousled… and as Fluttershy watched her the filly shivered against the marble, extended a pair of beautiful wings and gave them a flutter before wrapping them tightly around herself as she slumbered.
A sob found its way out of her throat, and she put a hoof to her mouth to try and stop it… but she knew she couldn’t. A surge of the most incredible feeling Fluttershy had ever experience started low in her chest and began to rise up, expanding through her until it felt like her entire body was bathed in the purest sunlight, warming her from hoof to mane. Her tears surged, and she looked at Rarity, who was staring at the filly with tears in her own eyes, a hoof to her pristine white chest.
“R-Rarity…” Fluttershy managed to choke. “Th-that…”
The unicorn turned to her, and every trace of doubt, every ounce of uncertainty that had ever been on her marefriend’s face was gone, replaced by shimmering tears and a smile that seemed to light up the entire room all over again.
“Y-yes, Fluttershy,” she said, her voice quavering. Rarity shifted, bringing herself close enough to Fluttershy that she could lean her head against the Pegasus; Fluttershy sobbed again and pulled her close with a wing and hoof, squeezing her as tight as she felt she could. The unicorn drew a deep, shuddering breath. “This is our foal…”
Princess Celestia smiled at them broadly before stepping over to the filly; she sat down next to her, reached out with a hoof and stroked her mane ever so gently. Somewhere in Fluttershy’s mind, she realized that their filly was much larger than a newborn, and was easily two years of age. So much for cupboard locks…
The filly stirred beneath Celestia’s hoof, and after several moments her eyes fluttered open- eyes that were the most amazing shade of pink that Fluttershy had ever seen; something that was completely her own, that she had not gotten from either mother. The filly blinked up at the alicorn for a moment; then, ever so slowly, she stretched first one front leg, then the other before rising to a sitting position. She arched her shoulders and stretched, giving her small, gorgeous wings a few tentative flaps before smiling hesitantly up at Celestia, who laughed lightly and touched the filly’s mane with a hoof again.
“Welcome to Equestria, little one,” she said softly. The Princess extended one snow-white wing and wrapped it around the foal, who stared up at her with wide eyes as she spoke. “This world is wide, and its perils many; but you come to us with a family, strong and firm, to keep you safe and happy.” The Princess’s eyes danced to Fluttershy for the barest instant before returning to the foal. She smiled down at the tiny pony before bending her neck and placing a single kiss on the foal’s forehead. “Be strong, daughter of Fluttershy and Rarity, for you go into the world with the blessings of the Princess of the Sun.”
She turned her violet eyes to Fluttershy and Rarity, giving them both a caring smile. “Take your daughter, my dear friends, and know that you carry with you the blessings of Celestia.”
The filly smiled up at the Princess for another moment before she rose to all four hooves and turned to the two mares; Fluttershy felt her heart stop as her daughter’s beautiful pink eyes met hers for the very first time. The filly stood and walked over to the pair, her eyes darting from one mare to the other as she approached; for her part, Fluttershy didn’t think she could move even if she wanted to, for fear of tackling the poor foal and never letting go. She sniffled mightily as the filly came to stand directly before them, her delicate little hooves placed close together, uncertainly, just as Fluttershy knew she used to do as a filly… and still did to this day. There was a very tentative silence between the three ponies as Fluttershy fought to keep herself from devolving into sobs again…
And then the little filly took the last step separating her from the two mares; she reached a hoof out, and gently touched Fluttershy’s leg. The yellow Pegasus let out a muffled sob as the filly met her gaze… and smiled the most beautiful smile that Fluttershy had ever seen.
“…Hi, Momma,” the filly said quietly, tenderly stroking Fluttershy’s hoof with her own. Her voice was as soft and delicate as she was, with just the barest hint of the clipped way that Rarity spoke… and it rendered Fluttershy completely speechless.
Next to her, Rarity gasped aloud. “Oh for Celestia’s sake…” she muttered brokenly. “C-come over here so we can hug you..!” The white unicorn held out her hooves to the filly, and the tiny Pegasus broke into a huge smile before leaping into her embrace. Rarity’s whole body tensed as she hugged their daughter for all she was worth, burying her muzzle into the filly’s mane and sobbing loudly as she held her close. Fluttershy’s vision blurred yet again as tears surged in her eyes… but that didn’t matter. Her entire world was here, now; this unicorn whom she loved so much, and now this tiny Pegasus, this brand new life that had been brought about by the two mare’s love… they were her world, and as she threw her legs around the two of them and cried for all she was worth, she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that as long as they were all together, she could never be anything but happy.
…and as involved as she and Rarity were, neither of them saw the knowing glance of the alicorn Princess… and the sadness she held deep in her eyes as she gazed at them. Because if there was one thing the Princess of the Sun knew more than anything, it was how to see bitterness and uncertainty… and she had seen both this day. The white alicorn gave a small shake of her head, and prayed to the Ancient Alicorns that she had not just made everything worse.
~*~*~*~*~
The trip back to Ponyville on the train was a time that Fluttershy would always look at as one of the happiest moments in her life. She had Rarity with her, sitting as close as she could sit, with their foal between them smiling happily as she watched out the window with wide, curious eyes. Fluttershy’s heart had soared that day, and it had felt as if she might faint from sheer pride when she exited the train at the station in Ponyville with her new family. All of her friends had been there, and they had one and all fawned over her daughter like they had never seen anything so precious and beautiful in all their lives; even Applejack’s tears had been happy ones as she had introduced herself to the shy filly, who had stayed hidden behind Fluttershy’s legs almost the whole time. Everything that day felt like a whirlwind of complete and utter bliss, and had ended with her putting her beautiful daughter in bed before joining Rarity in her own.
It was a beautiful day and an amazing night for Fluttershy… and as she fell asleep in Rarity’s embrace, she honestly didn’t know how her life could get any better.
Upon reflection later, she would often wonder how she could have been so blind…
~*~*~*~*~*~
“All right, my little darling, it’s time to get ready for supper,” Fluttershy said, smiling lovingly at her daughter. The filly had decided that she was going to figure out where Angel Bunny spent most of his time and had pursued him around the house for most of the day, much to the white rabbit’s dismay. The light lavender filly pulled her head out of the small house on the floor with a subtle pop and smiled up at her mother, her mane in slight disarray.
“Okay Momma!” she said happily, bouncing to her hooves and hurrying over to the dinner table. Fluttershy giggled lightly and touched her daughter’s mane with a hoof.
“Oh, look at you- best go run a comb through your mane before Mother gets home; you know how she likes to have you presentable.”
The filly just smiled up at her with nothing but absolute trust. “Okay!” She paused only long enough to nuzzle against Fluttershy’s chest before hurrying off to her room upstairs. The yellow Pegasus watched her daughter ascend the stairs, again feeling that amazing squeeze of pride and love in her chest. She’s everything I could have hoped for, and more, she thought as the door closed behind her filly, leaving Fluttershy alone with her thoughts as she set the table for dinner.
She glanced at the clock, trying to gauge how much time she had left before Rarity came home, and frowned slightly; it was already forty minutes after five o’clock, and there was no sign of the white unicorn. Well, maybe she got caught up with a customer, Fluttershy reasoned, turning back to the table and adjusting one of the forks that was out of place. She moved from the table to her small kitchen, checking on the contents of one of the boiling pots before shifting it to another burner to let it cool… then she glanced at the clock again, a small knot of worry gathering in her stomach.
Rarity had been coming home later and later in the past week, ever since the day after they’d come home from Canterlot. That first day back, everything had seemed so perfect, so surreal… and then Rarity had gone back to work. That night, she hadn’t even come home at all; Sweetie Belle had shown up at Fluttershy’s doorstep with a hastily written note, telling her that Rarity was going to stay at the Boutique all night to work on a special order. She had asked Sweetie Belle what kind of order she was working on… but the young unicorn had simply shrugged and asked to see her daughter before she left.
The next day, Fluttershy had asked Rarity about it, but the unicorn had been very evasive, telling her that it was nothing she needed to worry about… but she had stayed at the Boutique the next night, as well, with no note whatsoever… and Fluttershy had been almost beside herself with worry. Only caring for her daughter had made that day bearable.
She sighed as she moved the next pot to a cool burner, removing the lid so the delicate sauce inside could thicken. She hasn’t even bothered to talk to me about a name for her… Before their trip to Canterlot, Fluttershy had been completely clueless about picking a name for a foal- she didn’t know if she was supposed to pick a name before it was born, or wait until afterwards, or… or sometime in between, she just had no idea. When she’d brought it up to Rarity, the unicorn had simply rolled her eyes and said, “Do I look like I’ve had foals before, Fluttershy?” Meaning, of course, that she had no idea herself… so Fluttershy had asked the one pony she knew that seemed to have all the answers: Princess Celestia.
You’ll know the name when it comes to you, the Princess had replied with a small smile. And not a moment before; you’ll know it when you say it.
Fluttershy, of course, had wanted to start trying to find a name for their daughter at once, but when she’d brought it up to Rarity…
“I… I have something that needs tending, darling. W-we’ll talk about it later, I promise.”
Fluttershy was still waiting on that “later”… but she couldn’t pressure Rarity. She knew that this whole situation was going to take some getting used to for the normally independent unicorn; having a marefriend that she was living with, having a daughter who wanted and needed her attention- these were big changes in Rarity’s life, and Fluttershy was more than willing to help her adapt. Or at least try to give her the space she needed to adapt on her own. A name would be found, she was sure- and if it took a little longer than normal, well, that was just what happened.
The door to the room upstairs closed, and Fluttershy turned just in time to see her daughter bounce down the stairs, her mane now beautifully brushed, the curls at the end as pristine as if Rarity herself had detailed them.
“All done, Momma!” she declared happily, fluttering her wings as she leaped from the bottom step towards the table. “Can I help with dinner?” she asked, her pink eyes darting around the table.
“Not right this moment, my dear, but when Mother gets home I’ll let you dish out the soup, all right?”
The filly’s eyes lit up as if that were the most incredible offer she’d ever had, and she nodded vigorously; Fluttershy giggled at her daughter and leaned down to give her a quick nuzzle on the cheek.
“I love you, little one,” she said softly.
“I love you too, Momma!” the filly chirped, her mane falling over one pink eye as she smiled up at her mother. Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle at her silly daughter before brushing the wayward mane out of her face.
Suddenly, she heard the door of the cottage open, and her heart leaped in her chest as she spun around to gaze upon the one pony she loved as much as her daughter- her brilliant white marefriend.
“Oh, welcome home, Rarity!” she gushed, hurrying away from the table to meet the other mare at the door. Unbidden her wings fluttered out from her sides, lifting her into the air as she covered the last few feet. “I was starting to get worried- I know you close the shop at five o’clock, and I was starting to wonder…”
The white unicorn sighed and accepted the nuzzle that Fluttershy gave her cheek. “Yes, well, I do apologize, darling, but things… er… came up.”
“Well, that’s all right, I understand,” Fluttershy said with a happy smile. “What’s important is that you’re home now and I that I have dinner all ready to-,”
But to her surprise, Rarity raised a hoof and brought it to Fluttershy’s mouth, cutting her sentence off mid-word; and when Fluttershy turned her eyes back to the unicorn… she could tell that something wasn’t right; in fact, something was very, very wrong.
“Fluttershy, darling…” Rarity said, her voice heavy with apprehension and… something else. “…We need to talk.”
The Pegasus felt the hair at the base of her mane stand on end at the tone of her voice… but all that Fluttershy could do was nod. Rarity sighed heavily before withdrawing her hoof from Fluttershy’s lips.
“Darling… this is… not going to be easy for me to say…” The unicorn took a deep, shuddering breath, and Fluttershy was horrified to see tears in her azure eyes. What is going on…? “I… I have something to tell you… s-something very… very important…” Rarity’s jaw clenched, and Fluttershy could see the muscles beneath her white coat bunching and relaxing as she ground her teeth together… and when Rarity spoke again, her voice quavered on the verge of shattering like a delicate piece of glass.
“Fluttershy… I… I’m not moving in with you… I-I’m staying at the Boutique… at my home.”
The Pegasus blinked, and felt her heart sink into her hooves. She… she doesn’t want to move in with me..? She… she’d thought that Rarity wanted to live with her and their daughter… to be together always, to be a family. To think that she was still going to live at her own home... it just didn’t seem right to Fluttershy.
But… well, that could be all right, she reasoned. She’ll still be here a lot, a-and I’m sure she’ll come by for dinner every night. I’m sure she just needs more time…
“And…” Rarity’s voice drew her from her reverie, drew her eyes back to the sapphire orbs that held her heart. The unicorn’s lip quivered, barely able to form the next words out of her mouth… words that would change Fluttershy’s world forever:
“And… w-we can’t be together… anymore.”
It felt as though Rarity had smacked her between the eyes with a rock. Fluttershy stood, completely and utterly stunned, as the tears in her marefriend’s eyes began to flow down her cheeks… and as she continued, Fluttershy felt everything in her world begin to unravel.
“I’m so sorry, Fluttershy… b-but this isn’t… this isn’t what I want, anymore… e-everything is moving too fast… I-I don’t even know where my heart is at, anymore! When things started, everything was so simple… it was just you and me and our hearts and feelings… but now…” Rarity choked, and shook her head so violently it sent her mane flying around her face in disarray. “I’m so… so sorry, Fluttershy…” she sobbed, her tears falling like a sorrowful rain.
The yellow Pegasus stood completely still, rooted to the spot as she watched Rarity shake and cry. Fluttershy knew she should be crying, too… she felt like crying… but she couldn’t. It was like those first few words had numbed her soul as sure as midwinter wind numbed the flesh; she was aware of feeling… but she didn’t feel. She watched as Rarity spoke some more… but the other mare’s words faded away, and all that was left was the tone… the one thing that she could always believe about Rarity.
What Fluttershy heard shook her to her core; she heard anger, bitterness, regret… and sorrow deeper than she could ever have imagined. Anger… sorrow… from Rarity…
Slowly, Rarity’s words flowed back to her ears… and as she listened, Fluttershy felt the numb void inside her begin to fill.
“…I… I never meant to hurt you, darling… oh by Celestia, please understand I didn’t… I… I only wanted you to be happy…” The unicorn sobbed again, and this time she stamped a hoof firmly against the floor and shook her head again. “THE MOON TAKE YOU, FLUTTERSHY, SAY SOMETHING!!” she shouted, her voice trailing off into a pitiful hiccup.
Ever so slowly, Fluttershy brought her eyes back into focus on Rarity’s… and as soon as she locked her teal eyes with Rarity’s blue… everything flooded into her, as if the dam had broken. She felt herself fill with the most profound sorrow she could ever conceive- so deep that she felt as though she were drowning, her chest squeezing as if she were being buried beneath an avalanche of cold, horrifying despair.
“You…” she whispered harshly. “You only wanted me to be happy…?!” She honestly felt as if she may throw up. “How is this making me happy, Rarity?!” she said. Her eyes began to burn as she shook her own head in anger, despair and agony. “How… how is losing you going to make me happy?! How is going back to being… to being alone and pathetic going to make me happy, Rarity?!”
Rarity’s chest heaved as the unicorn turned her gaze from her. “…I said… wanted. Past tense… These last few days… these days away from you have made me realize, Fluttershy… made me realize that I’m not happy… that I don’t want this… I… I’m not ready for this… to be with anypony so seriously, to be…” She glanced over Fluttershy’s shoulder; it was a glance so rapid that in a normal situation it might even have been overlooked… but right now, Rarity might as well have put a spotlight on the poor filly behind Fluttershy.
It felt as though the very core of Fluttershy’s being had been fractured. “To… to be a mother?” she whispered harshly. “You aren’t ready to be a mother, Rarity?!” Unconsciously, Fluttershy took a step towards the white unicorn, her legs shaking so badly that she almost sent herself to the floor. “Then… why… why didn’t you say something before-,” Now Fluttershy glanced over her shoulder at the foal… the poor thing… huddled at the base of the stairs, her eyes full of the biggest tears that Fluttershy had ever seen in her life… one wing lifted slightly between herself and her mothers, as if to shield herself from their words…
Rarity took a deep breath. “I… thought that having her… would make things better, Fluttershy… that having her would make me want this more, would make me… more ready for it…”
“But a week ago, th-there in the Castle,” Fluttershy insisted. “Y-you hugged her, you loved her!”
“I never said that I didn’t love her, Fluttershy!” Rarity snapped, her eyes blazing. “I never said that!!” The unicorn took a step towards her, and for the barest moment, Fluttershy thought she may strike her… but instead, after a moment, Rarity seemed to shrink; her shoulders slumped, and she bowed her head slightly. “I thought that it would make me… want to be with you more… to save what we had…”
“But…” Fluttershy said, her mind churning almost as violently as her heart and stomach. “But the Foal Mirror… i-it wouldn’t have given us her if we didn’t-!”
“-Didn’t love each other, I know, Fluttershy,” Rarity interjected, tears in her eyes again. “I-it’s not that… I love you, Fluttershy… I do… just…” She sighed and turned away as she started to cry again. “…just not in the way you need me to… that she needs me to.”
Fluttershy’s stomach clenched, and if there had been anything in it, she knew that it would have emptied itself. She didn’t… didn’t love her? That… that was impossible. Fluttershy knew that Rarity loved her, knew exactly what she meant to the unicorn…
…but the tone was there. The sincerity, the unbelievable, heart-rending honesty of it all… that below the words… Rarity was telling her the truth.
“If you… if you didn’t want this, Rarity… then why… Why didn’t you SAY anything?!” she choked.
The unicorn’s eyes suddenly filled with an emotion that surprised Fluttershy- a horrible, undeniable guilt. “I… I should have, Fluttershy… I know I should have,” Rarity said softly. “But I thought… I thought that if you were happy, then I would be happy, too… and… and by Celestia, I’m not, darling, I’m NOT happy!” She took a shuddering breath. “And… I know that if I t-tried to keep going like this… I would end up hating you… and I would destroy everything…” Her words caught in her throat, and she croaked, “…and I don’t want that, Fluttershy… I want you to be happy, and I want me to be happy… a-at least this way… there’s a chance for us both…”
The Pegasus felt her head spin as a sick, prickling feeling started at the back of her throat. Her hooves suddenly felt as if they wouldn’t hold her up any longer, and she staggered to the side, thumping loudly against the small table near the door. Rarity winced as she hit… but her expression didn’t change. Fluttershy just stared at her, her chest heaving, her breath coming faster and faster as the blue-eyed unicorn stood there…
…and then it was over.
Rarity squeezed her eyes shut, and she managed to sob, “…Goodbye, Fluttershy… I hope you can forgive me…”
And then she was gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Fluttershy didn’t remember much of the next several hours, and never really would. She remembered images, snippets of things that had happened.
She remembered seeing the dinner table she’d set, so pristine and perfect; and then it wasn’t, the table was on its side, the china was smashed.
She remembered seeing the pictures she’d had up of Rarity and herself together; then seeing the pictures on the floor, smashed and tattered.
She remembered hating everything, kicking and screaming and slamming doors and everything she could get her hooves on…
…and then she remembered her bedroom… the slamming of that door, closing that last barrier between herself and the rest of the world…
…and then nothing but silence, tears, and darkness.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Ever so slowly, Fluttershy felt herself coming back to the waking world. She shifted in her bed amidst the twisted sheets and rumpled pillows, trying to untangle herself enough to sit up as she grudgingly returned to wakefulness. She finally managed, after unwrapping one of the blankets from around her right front hoof more than five times, to right herself; she sat up in bed and blinked, trying to relieve her eyes of that horrible gritty feeling that one gets only when one has cried more tears than one should ever have to cry. She felt… hollow… empty and dry, like the skin of an orange left out in the sun all day.
She glanced at the left side of her bed… a side that for one beautiful night had been filled by the pony she loved… and felt her eyes begin to water yet again. Oh Rarity… why… why didn’t you just say something before…?
The Pegasus sniffled and winced; her nose and eyes felt so swollen and red that even touching them with a hoof hurt… but it was nothing compared to the empty, jagged pain in her chest.
Rarity was gone… her one, true love… gone. It was almost more than Fluttershy could bear; she felt her eyes hurting again, and she felt the sobs once again begin to slowly make their way up her raw throat…
…but then a small sound caught her attention; a sound so soft and delicate that she probably should have missed it… almost as if she were hearing it with her heart instead of her ears. She paused, her curiosity driving the sadness back just far enough, for now. She blinked into the dark room, and with a glance out the window realized that it was still night outside. I… wonder what time it is… She had no idea how long she’d been in her room…
There was the sound again, so soft and low that it barely tickled the edges of her hearing. The Pegasus strained her ears, but it was gone again as quickly as it had come. With one last gentle sniffle, Fluttershy pushed first one leg out of bed, then another… then a third… until she was standing next to her bed. She sighed shakily and threw a longing glance back to her rumpled, tear-soaked pillow… longing only to fade away again, to disappear into the dark abyss of sleep, where perhaps her dreams would give her solace…
But she was up now, and that small noise tickled her ears again, drawing her out as surely as a blaring trumpet. With a deep sigh, Fluttershy made her way to her bedroom door; the door that was keeping all her troubles out, the door that was her one barrier between herself and all the pain outside… and with a sigh, she pushed it open.
She stepped out into a home that she barely recognized, into a mess that made her bloodshot eyes widen painfully. Everything in her home… her beautiful cottage… was wrecked… and by her own hooves. Her table was on its side… her beautiful china, smashed…
Fluttershy felt a wave of hopelessness hit her again, that horrible feeling that had almost drown her in her own sorrow. Everything… everything was destroyed. Her home… her life… her love… all of it, gone in one night of anger and heartache…
…and then she heard the noise again… clearer this time:
A tiny, shaking sob.
The sound stabbed Fluttershy through the heart, and she whipped around towards the stairs… and that was when her eyes found her daughter.
The tiny Pegasus was huddled in a moonbeam between the staircase and a chair, her wings wrapped around herself, hiding her from the world. Her whole body was shaking like a leaf in autumn, and from behind her wings there came tiny gasps and the most plaintive crying that Fluttershy had ever heard… a sound that seemed to slap the Pegasus in the face as her eyes widened yet again.
In the name of Celestia and Luna… She hurried over to the chair.
“D-darling..?” she said softly, her voice harsh and raw from her own sorrow. “A-are you… okay?” She put a hoof on the chair and scooted it away from the little filly gently.
Ever so slowly, her daughter lowered her wing from between them… and the look of anguish and fear on the filly’s face felt like a punch to Fluttershy’s chest. The absolute horror in those beautiful eyes… eyes that should only be full of happiness…
“Oh… my darling…” Fluttershy said, her voice catching in her throat. “P-please… don’t cry…”
The filly stared up at her, her cheeks stained with hours of tears. “Do…” she began, her voice barely above a whisper. “Do… you hate me, Momma..?” she begged. “Do you..? D-does… does Mother hate me…? What did I do wrong..?” She took a shaking breath, and raised a hoof slightly towards her chest. “Please… t-tell me what I did wrong… a-and I promise… I-I’ll fix it… Please… don’t hate me…”
A sob wrenched itself free from Fluttershy’s chest again, and she threw herself down onto the floor next to her daughter, wrapping the filly up in her forelegs and wings and pulling her close to her chest.
“NO, my darling, darling girl…” she whispered into that beautiful pink-violet mane that she loved so much. “No… I don’t hate you… I could never, and neither does Rarity… she loves you too…”
The filly hesitated for a long moment… then she wrapped her hooves around Fluttershy’s chest and buried her face against the Pegasus’ coat as her tears returned tenfold, her tiny frame shaking as she sobbed into her mother’s embrace, crying for all she was worth, letting every last ounce of fear, uncertainty and pain flow out of her…
And as she cried, Fluttershy’s world suddenly shifted. She felt it in her heart as surely as she felt her daughter in her arms; as if everything she had lost was suddenly meaningless, completely and utterly worthless… all of her belongings, all of her pictures and china… even Rarity… none of that meant anything next to making sure this little filly never, ever cried this way ever again.
As she held her daughter close, the words that she had heard out of the Mirror just over one week ago, out of the mouth of her own reflection, floated out of the darkness to her:
For the simple beauty of a family, no matter the size or form.
Fluttershy squeezed her eyes shut, and unbidden a smile rose to her lips… a small, sad smile… but a smile nonetheless. She felt strength return to her, a strength different than any she’d ever felt in her life. It wasn’t much… but it was enough. She knew that it would be enough… because it had to be.
In her embrace, the little filly sniffled and looked up at her, her eyes still brimming with tears. “I-I’m so sorry, Momma…” she repeated, her voice so hoarse that it squeaked gently.
Fluttershy shook her head minutely and pulled her daughter close, running a hoof tenderly over her disheveled mane. “Hush now, my dear. No more apologies out of you,” she said gently.
“B-but… Mother left because of me… you… you must hate me…”
“Never,” Fluttershy said firmly, drawing her daughter’s eyes to her own in surprise. “Don’t you ever think that again, understand? I love you very much; you are the absolute most important pony in my entire life…” She leaned down and nuzzled her daughter’s cheek before hugging her as tightly as she could, her eyes squeezed shut tight.
“…and I promise I’ll be strong for you… my beautiful daughter…”
Her smile widened, and she felt tears spring to her eyes anew.
“…my little Silver Lining.”