//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 // Story: Not Exactly Heroes, Are We? // by AngriestDislestia //------------------------------// "But you do not use them for anything." Tirek replied monotone, which made it unclear whether he was once again calling her ponies useless or genuinely being dense. "Tirek. I do not use them." She took a shuddery breathe of fear and frustration. "However, as I am the leader they bestow their trust upon me to keep them safe." "You do not know they're in danger." "Tirek! They have disappeared with no warning, completely vanished with no trace, do you really think they're safe?!?" Celestia cried ridiculously. "Luna may have evacuated everyone in the night." He said plainly. Celestia guffawed. "And why would she do that?" Celestia spoke at almost a level of insanity. "Well, say there was a dangerous criminal brought to a Princess for seemingly no reason. Say she seemingly disappeared - only to be in a juvenile hideout - a marecave perhaps! - with the criminal. Say, if you will, she had a new guard, or that her guards were unaware of certain living quarters. Say they couldn't find the Princess, and the criminal hadn't been taken away or seen. Say, rumour of certain empire's new filly Princess also had disappeared." Tirek smirked knowingly. He praised his own intellect and adored his quick wording - he felt proud! To have made the Princess look responsible for such terrible things and also look foolish was as hard making a cow appear to be flying.  Tirek's torso rose in sudden earned dominance as he approached the Princess. "Say..." He began to chuckle " It'd be mightily humiliating for that Princess!!! HaHAAAAA!" Fury grew as Tirek was beginning to successfully "win" against Celestia. She lowered her head and scowled up at him, she snorted a warning. "If you have done ANYTHING with my little ponies" she breathed and calmed herself as she stood straight. "You'll be sent to a worse place than Hell, I guarantee." Tirek still smiled slightly, both at the sound of anger and the sudden crying of the little foal Celestia now carried. "You doubt my theory then?" "Ooooh what can I do, what can I do?" Celestia paced. "What am I going to do?!?!" ..."Sorry, were you talking to me?" Tirek sat cosily on a plush chair wrapped in blankets, with Flurry Heart at the bottom of the bed - having scared Tirek off of it -, giving goo goo eyes to the centaur. He was a reading a book. Celestia glanced at him briefly and shook her head in dismission. He was now officially completely harmless with no unicorn to be seen. "I suggest starting by closing your balcony doors." He said with a frown, wrapping the blankets tighter and over his head. "Eurgh! I wanted to help you!" She fell to the floor in defeat, and Tirek rolled his eyes. " And now...everypony is gone....all the lives knocked out of place...disharmony...AND YOU DONT CARE!" "You're right, I do not care about ponies or harmony in the slightest. However I am old and would prefer you shut those doors." He worded expectantly, but Celestia only twinged. "YOU close them!!!" Tirek's eyes widened slightly. A very hidden, small smile popper onto his face. He almost appeared sheepish. "And how about you stay quiet if you're not going to help! Take yourself back to Tartarus, im sure its hot there!" He began to blush. He'd never seen Celestia flustered and her fight was humourously cute to him. "Awww, are you a bit angry they're gone? Well why don't you go find them. But be quiet about it, you don't want this little pink princess to start crying again!" ... "I will!" She turned to him and smiled. " And you're coming, too! It'll make a reforming experience i'm sure!" Tirek suddenly was filled with dread and regret. He should not have said that - he couldn't believe that he hadn't thought of it! She probably was used to relying on Princess Twilight. Ha. Only not ha! He found himself being lifted by a golden aura, which he beat his scrawny fists at in retaliation. "No, im too old! Let me read!" Tirek rasped. "Oooooh, Tireeeek! We're going on a journey! Just you - my new best friend and meeeeeee!" "Why are u acting so silly?!?" "Tireeeeekyyyyy! Immuna pack my bag and you will see! How much fuuuuuuun this adventure will beeeeee!" She smiled wickedly at him. "Just you and me!" "You're acting creepy." "we'll have fun, you'll see!" "Don't suggest that to me!" "You're my new buddy!" "You're my old enemy!" "And now we're freeeeneeeemiiiiieeeees, coz we will beeeeeeeeeeeeee, having fun, Whoopie!" Celestia finished her song with great triumph as she turned to Tirek with a smile. "2/10" He said plainly. The little filly began giggling and clapping her hooves. "Get your things packed, Tirek! We'll be leaving soon!" Celestia announced, using her aura to summon things from her wardrobe, ensuite and storage. Tirek huffed and sunk deeper into the chair. He wasn't going. When Celestia had finished, she looked to him. "Remember to take a toilet break!" She said vanishing into the toilet. Tirek pondered. If he did go, he would need a warmer coat. Or five. His eyes searched around the room for one. He must get ready, he thought. ...No you don't! He reminded himself that he didn't intend to spend countless days searching for ponies he didn't like. And he would not help a princess! He stared at Flurry Heart. She was staring at him. "Cen-taw (centaur)" she said pathetically enough to make Tirek smirk. Celestia then came out soon after and held the door open for him, to take his turn. "Don't bother, im not going." Tirek grunted. Celestias face remained calm and unsurprised. "You must." She said plainly. ("ooh mus!" Flurry Heart mimicked) "Well why must I?" Tirek bickered, closing his book and glaring into her eyes. "Because if you don't, Tirek, I'll be all alone." Celestia spoke softly ("Awown" Flurry Heart mimicked again). "No one can accomplish anything entirely by themselves." Though Tirek's eyes widened in acknowledgement of how relevant the preach was to him - and how clever it was of her to sneak it in -, he already knew that. "Yes, but im a nightmare. A demon from a nightmare realm. Are you sure you'd rather me tag along than to be alone?" His smirk grew surprisingly serious, as did Celestia's. "Yes, Tirek. Being alone is the worst punishment ever, I would rather spend eternity with you in Tartarus than be alone." Celestia stared him in the eye. "..." Tirek looked almost touched but blinked and growled. "Oooommmfffff-fine!" He said marching into the bathroom. "Get me a warm coat!" Celestia smiled smugly. She high-hoofed Flurry. Perhaps the centaur had a low insulation, or a fever, or perhaps he was so used to the burning heat of Tartarus that anything below kettle water heat seemed cool to him. Either way, he refused to quit complaining. "Can't we wait for summer?!" He exclaimed. Celestia looked back in disbelief. "It IS summer, Tirek." She told him. "Look at the sky; my day is beautiful." The sky was blue and clear, with the sun shining strongly onto the Earth. It was not cold in the slightest. "Beautiful things have a habit of being cold." Tirek mumbled, staring hatefully at Celestia. "Why thank you, Tirek." Celestia stated smugly. Tirek's expression became disgusted and sheepish; she understood the reference! A slight embarrassed blush appeared on his cheeks; how infuriating! "However now is hardly the time. We must search for hints as to which direction everypony left in..." She pondered. "If I check the homes from each side from middle to outskirt, I should be able to use the states of the homes to deduce which ponies where left first and last. The ones in a worst state means they had less time, which means that they left last...Yes...That should be right." Tirek decided to withhold the fact he could see the reminance of magic, which would prove helpful. He already knew which way they had went. "...but that doesn't tell me which way they went...Unless they were running from something...In which case the worst state homes will be in the general direction that they left... But if not???" They had went North East. He was curious if she would deduct it correctly. So Tirek waited with Flurry heart for hours, watching Celestia traipse around the city cluelessly. It was highly amusing, and Tirek had learnt plenty of patience in Tartarus. The time went by relatively swiftly. For him.