//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: The Jerk // by Perception Filter //------------------------------// The Jerk Chapter 2 Fawkes stared at the array of multicolored horses before him. Being a man of his...appearance, they didn't assume the best. Apparently they were intelligent as well. Who would have thought that a species that went extinct over 200 years ago was back, multicolored, and intelligent. They turned their backs and began whispering to themselves. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Luna had no idea what the strange creature was doing, or how it got here but it just stared at them. She turned around to talk to Lyra and the others. "What do you think it is Princess?" asked Lyra "I don't know, but it looks vaguely familiar." The truth was, Lyra also vaguely recognized the creature. It looked like a human, but there was something wrong with it. Aside from the height and color differences, there was just something...wrong with it. "Does it? Lyra do you know what it is?" she asked suspicion growing in her voice. "Yes, I believe it is a human, but there is something off about it. I can't put my hoof on it but there is just something wrong with it." "Lyra, humans are nothing more than pony tales. But this creature does resemble one. Perhaps it is intelligent." "I don't think so, it looks like it doesn't even know what we are." said another Pegasus. Suddenly another voice came from behind them. "Hello, have you seen my friend?" it said, and they froze in shock. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fawkes had finally recovered from the shock of seeing a species that went extinct over 200 years ago, and found his voice. "Hello, have you seen my friend?" he asked, and they visibly stiffened. They slowly rotated to face him, and he spoke again. "I don't know if you can understand me, but I need to find my friend." and this time the large purple one spoke up. "We can understand you." it said in a high pitched voice that suggested that it was a girl. "Well, do you know where my friend is?" "I don't know, but I could perchance find him." she said and her horn began glowing. Fawkes took a step back fearing that it was radioactive. So what that he was a super mutant. They didn't like radiation any more than the rest of us. She opened her eyes and began speaking again. "He is somewhere that way in the swamp." she said with a pointed hand...er hoof. "Thank you." he said and he walked out to find me. Luna turned to Lyra and spoke again. "Follow him." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I awoke in the same swamp as before when I had passed out. Shocking right? Anyways, I looked up, and there were trees everywhere. I looked on them dumbfounded. Hey don't give me that look, there were actually trees there. Honest to god trees, and a couple even had apples on them. Looking around, there was all kinds of wildlife moving about. Insects, and smaller wildlife. 'I don't know what the fuck that thing did to my brain, but this is too weird.' I thought as I looked around. I got up and I picked an apple from the tree, decided it couldn't do anymore harm and I ate it. Oh dear god it tasted so good, it was like I was eating a slice of heaven. I really couldn't describe it any other way. As I was greedily mowing down the apple the bushes rustled behind me and I dropped into a fighting position. What came out of the bushes confused the hell out of me. A small black...thing. It had Swiss cheese for legs, insect wings, and a horn. Oh yea, and insect eyes. What? No why the hell would it actually have Swiss cheese for legs, it was a comparison. Anyways, I was busy staring at the thing in shock when it started talking. "By order of Queen Chrysalis you are to be arrested and taken to the Canterlot dungeons right away." it said. "Hey, buddy until I know where the fuck I am, and what I did wrong your Queen can take that arrest warrant and shove it up her ass." "No one insults the Queen." he said, his speech dripping with rage. "Well, guess what asshole? Your Queen is the bitch of bitches, and I don't even know her." This didn't sit too well with him and he charged me. He planted his front legs on the ground did a swivel and tried to buck me. Now you thought being kicked in the chest by a Brahmin hurts, you should feel the kick on these things. I flew back a good 10 feet. I got up, ignored the pain and shook my finger at him. "Now, now. No need to get feisty. Just because your Queen is a bitch doesn't mean you have to be." He charged again, but this time I was ready. I dodged left, and brought my elbow down on his ass, and I felt a bone shattering. Looking down, I learned it wasn't a bone, but his carapace. Well he was pretty insect like. He got up, and his horn started glowing, and I saw a large rock next to him covered in the same light. Oh, and it was floating! "Really bud? I thought we were having a nice civilized fight here. You didn't have to go and use telekinesis." I said with a large suave smile on my face. This caught him off guard and he dropped the rock. I took this opportunity to charge him. As I approached him, he got into a fighting stance. I spread out my arms as if I were to give him a hug, and he dropped his guard with a confused look on his face. I swung my arms in and hit him where I assumed his temples were with iron fists. The results weren't what I expected. I though he was going to fall on the ground howling in pain, but my fists encountered little resistance, and his head exploded. I felt my fists touch in the center of where his head used to be, and I kept moving and tripped over his body in confusion. "Well, Jesus man, if you didn't want to hang out you could have said so." I said snickering. I got up and walked away from the corpse leaving it floating there in the water. I walked for about five minutes when I saw a small hut in the distance. "Hope these guys are nice." I said as I knocked on the door. There were many whispers on the inside, and the door slowly opened to a pair of eyes. They weren't quite right though. Perhaps it was the fact that they were about 200% larger than they should be. They widened in shock at me, and the door slammed quickly. I heard more furious whispering and I got tired of waiting. I reached down, and picked the lock. 'Pathetic Lock.' I thought as I opened the door. As I looked in, I saw several technicolor horses staring at me. "Next time you are going to have a secret hideout, make sure it has a good lock." I said as they stared at me in shock. I honestly couldn't be surprised at them, because the wasteland some pretty weird shit happens. I couldn't help but laugh at the looks on their faces. "Hey, assholes? What the hell are you looking at?" I asked. "Is there a goddamned super mutant behind me?" I laughed and turned around to see Fawkes standing over me. He was doing his best menacing look, and I laughed it off. "Hey asshole, get this. There are horses here, and they are complete dumbasses." I said laughing. I was cut off when a solid punch went right to my jaw and made me crack my neck. Not questioning it, I ducked into a charge and rammed my shoulder into he stomach sending him reeling. I started VATS in an instant, and targeted the weak points on his body. In the blink of an eye, several punches were sent to his stomach, sides, and other vital points and he collapsed. He hit the ground in a flash of green fire, and laying there was one of the black things that I fought a while ago. Except this one was bipedal, and had taken the form of my friend. I walked over and kicked him until he got up. I placed a foot on his neck and started questioning him. "Where is the fuck is my friend you bastard?" My tone making him wince. "It is too late, he is already captured." "WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?" I yelled putting pressure on his neck. By now it started to panic, and he wheezed out the answer. "Changling...camp...that way." he said pointing in through the swamp. I lifted up my foot and brought it down, caving in his skull. I turned around to see several dumbstruck asshole horses staring at me. "Well, assholes? You going to help me?" Other A/N Well, this guy is based off of my character. He has 10 all S.P.E.C.I.A.L skills. Not hacks, just took the almost perfect perk, and then found the Bobble heads. Full 100 unarmed skill. Kick ass.