//------------------------------// // Chapter 9 - The Repressed (Unedited - If you still have eye's at the end? get another chapter free) // Story: I am Living Lava? // by Shadow of doubt //------------------------------// "That's it rose, keep the image of the spell matrix in your mind," Luna's encouragement whilst appreciated is quite distracting, after Discord was able to teach me how to access my magic safely and help to control my flames Luna decided to teach me the levitation spell, said to be a very simple spell, I beg to differ. "That's it I am sick of this," I shout out, forgetting the matrix and lesson altogether, my horn show's its protest by shooting a stream of plasma at the apple I was trying to levitate. No longer would that apple defy me, or the three walls behind it. "Sorry about that, I... I just need some time to think, I'll be in the garden," It's always been hard for me to keep calm when I was younger, It got easier as I grew older but right now, I'm almost always angry, even if I don't show it. Turning my head away from the white slag that was the wall and walked out the door, I asked a maid to direct me to the gardens, well the third maid, as the other two ran away, I managed to corner the third. It feels as if all my motivation has been drained out of me, I liked my old life, It was simple, no magic bullshit or angry people, er ponies, It was... nice, and calming. Coming to a stop I thank the maid and sit down in the grass, steam rises from the grass as I sit down, It seems as though I am still hot enough to boil water, even without my flames, closing my eyes I just think... I was so stupid that day, I just wanted to impress the team, I had to go to that damned volcano, and I paid a price, not the one I thought but one worse, at least if I had died I wouldn't have to live with the fact that my family thinks I'm dead. GRaahh, It's just so stupid, I need to break something, I'll go to my room then. As I rose from my spot, the dead grass underneath crackled as I rose, the flames of my mane and tail return with a vengeance, making my way to the castle doors, ignoring the ponies staring, I make my way to my room, on my way I find the guards training barracks, even better, changing my course I enter the guard barracks, the door's locked but I don't care in the least, I just punch the lock with my hoof, I accidentally broke a fifteen foot hole in the wall instead, eh, I'll help fix it later, guards are running around panicking as I walk into the lounge area looking to my left I find a door to the sleeping quarters, walking straight through I find myself surrounded by guards and their spears, half of them aren't even dressed right. "Stop your advance, we have you surrounded, we know not what you wished to achieve here nor do we care, you are under arrest for extensive property damage and disturbing the peace, what say you?" the pony guard rants annoy as it is I would usually listen though, in my state of mind at the moment, I just want to no NEED to break something. Giving him my best glare I announced what I came here for. "Take me to a place where I can break things, or I'll break you, I'm sick and tired of being careful of hiding, You are no threat to me at all, your weapons will melt before they even touch me, even now I'm holding my fire back as to not melt you, now tell me WHERE CAN I BREAK SOMETHING," They seem petrified of me, I hate that look, but I don't care at the moment, one nod to his fellow guards and they fall back, before he addressed me, he tapped his spear twice then turned it sideways before motioning me to follow him. "We can see when we are outmatched, you must realize though that your behavior is unacceptable I'll take you to the training grounds, please try and keep your wits about you though, Celestia informed me that you have a... undesirable history." Figures that Celestia would to her guards about me, but for now I need to let off some steam. Other guards run off somewhere else as I follow the main guard, whom I dubbed 'G1', after about a three-minute trot we arrived at the training yard, he ordered other guards of and stopped what he was doing. "feel free to 'break' the practice dummy's, try and avoid breaking actual ponies, the field is your's for all of ten minutes," G1 say's to me, an annoyed yet reserved tone to his voice as I make my way onto the training field, I hear G1 shout at me again. "This won't be forgotten Flare, remember that Celestia has provided everything you could need, don't overstrain her patience," G1 shouted out with an edge in his voice. I just block him out as I run full tilt at the practice dummy before I knew it I was right in front of the thing, I read my head back and stabbed it with my horn, flicking my head to the side tears the dummy in half. The remains of the dummy burn a bright blue, along with my actual fire. "GRahhh, Stupid FUcking Damn Bitch DIEEE, Mother FUCker DIE," I can't take it anymore I let out that damn anger I hate myself, I fucking left her all alone, she was in pain, I ignored her. Gathering up my magic, I fire it at the steel plated earth pony dummy, A blue beam of death followed shortly after, the steel pony dummy was evaporated, I managed a beam of fire so hot I turned solid metal into gas, I was amazed at this but I couldn't care less at the moment. For a good five minutes I destroyed all in my sight, now all that's left is one steel dummy, the sand pits are now glass, the dirt is scorched black. My heavy breathing is all anyone would hear if the guards had stayed around, they left after I melted the first dummy. "Why can't I just... gRahh," In my anger, I thought back to the magic lesson, It was supposed to be a simple lesson except It had taken two hours and not a damn nudge, I wonder if I could get that beam I used on the apple before, I pictured the spell matrix and surprisingly the steel dummy was coated in a pink aura with blue steaks I picked it up in my magic and then... I slammed it down as fast as I could before slamming it into the wall adjacent to it and then the wall across from that one, and so on and so on, I managed to move it so fast that I could feel wind being generated from it, cracks had formed from the impact points. When I had calmed down I had a rough sphere of metal in my telekinesis, and I actually felt better, a whole lot better. "Oh, ah Hello Celestia, lovely afternoon, nice job with that by the way." She didn't seem impressed with my smile and just sighed before sitting down next to me. "Look, I'm really sorry about the damages I can-" My excuse was cut off from Celestia's wing wrapping around my back before she leaned into me and sighed. "For what it's worth Rose, I'm sorry for treating you wrong, and as a threat. I've been unfairly judgemental to you and for that I'm sorry, you reminded me of a bad part of my past and I was unable to face it without help." Celestia had a few tears in her eyes as she looked into me our heads turned to the left and right accordingly. "Heh, it's fine, I haven't been the nicest here either, I should have tried harder to get to know you, I was kinda almost ready to leave before Luna convinced me to stay here, I assume she helped you with your past?" I asked her, she seemed a little shocked but quickly just rested next to me, he head lying on my mane of flames, who's color had returned to a gentle orange, I guess she's immune to heat or something. "I'll forgive you completely if you overlook my little tantrum here," I offered a half smile even though she couldn't see it, her words will forever ring in my head. "Of course, but you're still cleaning it up, you gave my guards quite the scare." I could feel Celestia's moving on my neck as she spoke. "Oh and I contacted my student here, she had a simular problem as you, but instead of anger and grumpyness she had panic attacks, she has made remarkable progress and I beleive she can help you." Celestia's voice seemed a little tired but at least she means well. I guess I have a psychologist now.