Three months have passed since the Awakening, and things have quieted down.
In all, the world fared well without our guidance. Equestria survived, and the ponies were quick to forgive, true to Celestia’s word. I have not the words for their kindness, but truthfully, I do not feel that I deserve them.
No amount of self-loathing could leverage the emptiness I felt. I wanted, nay, needed that catharsis, that self-flagellation of conscience. I could not simply let my failings lie.
In the end, however, it served only to leave me weary, and that I could not allow. I had a country to run, beside Sister and her wise counsel. I would be more than remiss had I wallowed in my sorrows at Equestria’s expense.
I spent every waking moment at the helm of the rebuilding, focused on righting my wrongs, and it did well to subdue my ever-quaking heart. ’Twas cathartic in its own right, but I would be a liar if I said that I hadn’t thought of you in those brief moments I lay in bed before sleep took me. You who saw past my failings, you who shouldered my burden, undeserving of the consequence. I could not do right by you, but because of your sacrifice I can do right by Equestria.
I have taken up a protégé, one to help me tend to the dreams of our ponies and to provide additional counsel when my sight is blinded by emotion, as was the case with the whispers. Her name is Nightcap, and she is most capable.
When the dreams of our little ponies are especially calm, I sometimes slink away and leave the duties to her whilst I search for you. I suspect she knows where I go, but she has never once mentioned it. I thank her for her understanding.
She, too, has learned the hardships of love lost before its time, even for one so young. But such is the nature of life. Ever onward we march into the unknown, stronger for both the summer fields and smoldering ashes we trod.
For as many thousands of years I have lived, even still can I say that because of you, Champion. I was bereft of hope in those dark eternities. I whispered words of courage and succor to Sister and the others, but I myself found no comfort in them. I maintained that ruse for their sake, but not until the two of us joined as one did I myself believe them.
’Twas you who brought hope to a mare who had none left for herself. ’Twas you who brought love to a mare whom duty and circumstance never allowed such luxuries. To have lost you in those final moments was more than my heart could bear. Even now, the days are dark without you close, that much colder without your fire beating next to mine, and I cannot help but feel that every passing night spent without you is yet colder and darker still.
But I will not let that light fade. I refuse with all my heart to accept you as gone, for it is my heart that knows you yet live, that pulls me ever onward through this infinite cosmos for your speck of starlight.
Lost as you may be, Champion, you are out there somewhere. I will find you.
I will hold you within the span of my wings, and we will again be as one.