"Five TARDIS's, a pizzeria full of animatronics trying to kill us, another pizzeria with a purple foal killer and a weird gold animatronic that bit a kid and somehow crushed his skull, several wolves, six rooms devoted entirely to cowboy hats, six pocket universes, one of which involves my fanfiction being real, a room where a pony on fire and an electric zebra were fighting to the death, a room devoted entirely to a weird beige tail-less bipedal pony singing about America, and multiple planets, and we still haven't found the bathroom?"
"It is getting a bit over-the-top..." muttered Cheerilee.
"A bit? A BIT?!" choked Rainbow Dash. "Darling, there have been six pocket universes! Six! And a pizzeria full of animatronics trying to kill us! Which idiots made this place? Hey, are you enjoying this?"
Cheerilee quickly wiped the smirk off her face. "Well, you did make me have that awkward conversation with Scootaloo after she read your fanfic-"
"You're still upset about that?"
"No, it just seems.....fitting."
"Darling, can we not talk about that fanfic?"
Cheerilee nodded, sighing. She was only doing this because Rainbow was too chicken to go on her own. Probably for the best, though, considering what they had found in the rooms, but she was starting to wish she could be sleeping. How long could this take?
They shoved the door closed and trudged back up the stairs, coming face to face with another door. Cheerilee stepped forward. Yellow ponies on their hind legs with no tails, three with the same yellow colour for their manes, and one with no mane, and one with a blue beehive. "Why you little-" the bald one yelled. She shut the door and they went back downstairs.
This time Rainbow Dash opened the door. A grey robot breaking apart to reveal another weird-looking bipedal tail-less pony, a brown one with a dark mane. She slammed it shut and galloped back upstairs. By this point she was absolutely desperate. Of course, what she saw was a beige tail-less pony in a wheelchair, with orange tail-less ponies with green manes marching around on their hind legs.
"What do you think of the one you call God? Isn't his abscence slight.....ly.....odd?"
Cheerilee rolled her eyes, trotting back downstairs and opening the next door. Another of those weird ponies. Beige with orange mane and wearing a red jacket, and another beige one with one eye and a purple mane. She shut the door, trotting back upstairs and opening the next door.
More of the weird bipedal ponies with no tails, but these ones were familiar. One of them had Rainbow's blue coat (or rather, skin, in the case of the weird pony), and even her rainbow mane and ponytail. Another one looked just like Cheerilee. They rolled their eyes and went back downstairs.
Rainbow opened the door this time. Another of the weird no-tail ponies, this one beige with blonde hair and wearing pyjamas. She looked around Scootaloo's age. She was holding a weird black thing, like a book turned on its side, except the bottom part had letters on it and the top part had a large picture of Pinkie Pie's Cutie Mark, next to the word SurprisePinkiePinkiePie.
There was a box on the screen, under that, with the title Featured Stories, and some more words saying Three and a Half Mares. Above that was a badly drawn picture of Celestia, Twilight dying, Cheerilee angry, Luna looking shocked and Scootaloo, along with some writing they couldn't read and a photo of Minty.
"Gosh," mumbled Cheerilee. "That SurprisePinkiePinkiePie person is a real loser!"
She trotted back upstairs and pulled the door open. A black room with nothing but a wooden table with some chairs around it and a lamp on the table. They were about to dissmiss it as another useless room when they felt somepony push past them.
They stared forward. To the left, the yellow figure of Puddinghead; to the right, Apple; and in the middle, cowering to the ground and stumbling, was Sweetie Belle.
"Sweetie Belle, darling!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "Are you okay?"
Sweetie Belle glanced back only for Apple to roughly push her inside. "You get set up," he muttered to Puddinghead as they went inside. "Ah think these two 'ave some 'splainin' to do."
Cheerilee gulped. "We- we were just looking for the bathroom-"
"Is that so? Then 'ow come ya'll are lurking 'round 'ere?"
"We were about to leave," muttered Rainbow Dash. "So....err.....we'll be going now! Bye!"
She started to gallop down the stairs. She was halfway down when she heard a filly screaming. She rolled her eyes and turned to Cheerilee. "I don't suppose we can find the bathroom and then rescue her, darling?"
The look on Cheerilee's face as she went back upstairs was enough, and so Rainbow Dash followed, throwing all her weight against the door. It fell onto the ground. Apple sighed. "It was unlocked. It opens the other way."
They ignored him, galloping over to Sweetie Belle. "Are you alright, darling?"
"T-T-" she stammered. "Tell them I-I don't know anything about rainbows! They think I know about them, they-"
Cheerilee glared at Puddinghead and Apple. "She doesn't know anything about rainbows, she's just a filly!"
"She has to!" protested Apple. "She was born when the two rainbows crossed! No way that 'appened bah accident, somepony was tryna make 'er!"
Rainbow gasped. "That's impossible, darling!"
"No," corrected Puddinghead. "It's not only possible, it's certain. Rainbow magic is powerful, but it couldn't create a foal out of nothing. Not without a Unicorn directing it."
"Well I don't know!" snapped Sweetie Belle. A second later she blushed fiercely. "Sorry...."
"You're sure she doesn't know?" asked Puddinghead. Rainbow Dash and Cheerilee nodded. She sighed. "Apple, take her back, then. You two....do whatever it was you were doing."
The two mares trotted out. It was about ten seconds before Rainbow Dash was painfully reminded of the reason they had left in the first place. She groaned.
"Five TARDIS's, a pizzeria full of animatronics trying to kill us, another pizzeria with a purple foal killer and a weird gold animatronic that bit a kid and somehow crushed his skull, several wolves, six rooms devoted entirely to cowboy hats, six pocket universes, one of which involves my fanfiction being real, a room where a pony on fire and an electric zebra were fighting to the death, a room devoted entirely to a weird beige tail-less bipedal pony singing about America, a room with yellow tail-less ponies, a room full of bipedal versions of us with no tails, a room full of ponies marching around somepony in a wheelchair singing, a room with some loser called SurprisePinkiePinkiePie and multiple planets, and we still haven't found the bathroom?"