Caramel took the long way around Appleoosa so he wouldn't attract too much attention arriving in the settlement that Caramelle had mysteriously vanished into not 15 minutes earlier. He casually merged into hustle and bustle of ponies getting on and off at the train station. Caramel had learned over the years that if one walked straight forward at a brisk pace, as if one were a very important pony going to a very important meeting, nopony would call one's bluff. He manages to slip onto the train and began to search for a seat.
"Hey, Caramel!" called a familiar voice from behind him.
Caramel turned around and saw the head and hoof of a gray earth pony stallion peeking out of a door. Caramel grimaced inwardly; it was just his luck that he'd run into somepony he knew. Still, he put on a smile and waved back at his neighbor. "Hey, Lucky! Fancy running into you here."
Lucky motioned for Caramel to come sit with him, and Caramel joined him. "So, what brought you to Appleoosa? I didn't catch you arriving."
Caramel smiled back. He'd had a couple flips while in Appleoosa, so it made sense that Lucky wouldn't be surprised to see him. In fact, had she not made such a dramatic exit, he could've stayed in Appleoosa as he had through his last several flips. Fortunately, Caramel didn't have to lie this time. "Yeah, I was hired to help get the town up and running. By the way, nice moves at the Wild West Dance."
Lucky chuckled. "Thanks. You were great too; it must've been good practice for the big song and dance number."
Caramel groaned. "I have to admit, Pinkie Pie can be quite infectious. I heard that the other five Bearers were there with her."
"Yeah, pretty much." nodded Lucky. "Or rather, Applejack was bringing a tree for the orchard, and since the six of them are pretty much a package deal, Pinkie ended up coming as well. Ended up provoking the whole stampede!"
"I noticed." commented Caramel wryly. "How did the whole deal turn out? I… I sorta hid in my house during the stampede."
Lucky sighed. "It turns out they'll call off the fighting if we just give them pies. Like, for them to eat, not to get hit by. You'd think we could've gotten to that point without wasting hundreds of perfectly good pies and toppling the clock tower."
"So that's what that noise was!"
"Yeah, and it was brand new too. Plus, the Sheriff almost bit the dust. The buffalo chief himself was bearing down on him, when your sister hits him from halfway across town! That girl has some aim!"
Caramel shifted his weight nervously. "And… what happened then?"
Lucky shrugged. "A herd formed around her before I could get close, and I couldn't make anything out after that point. It's a shame, too; I love a mare with a deft hoof."
Caramel shuddered at the thought.
"Oh, sorry. I guess I shouldn't talk about your sister like that in front of you. Still, you've gotta admit she pulls off the frontier hat look very well. I'd say it adds at least sixty-one millihelens ."
Caramel took off his hat and set it on the floor, smiling uncomfortably. Lucky was a nice guy and they'd been neighbors for years, but despite the rumors Caramel was no colt-cuddler. He tried to think of a way to change the subject, but settled on staring blankly out of the window at the passing landscape. After he judged that enough time had passed that he judged his next words would seem natural. Caramel yawned a yawn that was not entirely an act, and stretched out on the bench. "We should hit the hay. I'm exhausted from all the excitement back in Appleoosa."
Lucky nodded in agreement, apparently not picking up on Caramel's reason for wanting to stop the conversation. They both climbed into their bunks and went to sleep. By the time they woke up, the train had arrived at their stop. Caramel grabbed his hat and departed from the train with Lucky, taking off down the path back to Ponyville. Mostly due to Lucky's comments about 'Toffee', the two stallions kept quiet during the walk from the station to Ponyville. Navigating by the high peak of Carousel Boutique, the two found their houses near the tall purple shop, where they parted ways with a pair of friendly goodbyes.
Caramel entered his house, shutting the door behind him. He placed his hat into his closet, and pulled out his saddlebags. "Let's see…" he muttered, working out his plan of attack. He decided that the first thing he'd try would be to expose himself to Poison Joak, to see if its effects would supersede his current predicament. There was one problem he had to overcome first, however: he had no idea what it looked like.
As a foal, a colt, and a filly, his parents had never allowed him to go anywhere near the Everfree Forest, as everypony knew it was full of flora and fauna that would do a pony harm. As time passed, this lesson had stuck, and so he had never been closer to the forest than Fluttershy's cottage. He decided, therefore, that he'd need to do some research first.
Caramel craned his neck back and tightened his saddlebags, before taking a quick drink of water and using the bathroom. After washing up, he headed out the door towards the Ponyville Library. However, when he passed Sugarcube Corner and was not greeted by Pinkie Pie, a thought occurred to him. The Bearers of the Elements were probably still in Appleoosa sorting out relations with the buffalo. Sure enough, when he arrived at the library he found it to be closed. Ponyfeathers! thought Caramel. Why couldn't she have just left somepony behind to run the library for a while?
Of course, the question was rhetorical; he knew the answer already. Spike was the one who usually ran the library when she was out, and he had to come with her as a direct line to Celestia. As hard as Spike worked day and night around the library, Caramel didn't begrudge him his vacation. In fact, he wished Twilight would get another assistant to help spread the work around.
His experiments would have to wait. All he had to do was pass the time until they got back to Ponyville. He would have to think of a way to occupy himself until then. Fortunately, he didn't have to think for long, as a rumbling in his stomach gave him a sense of direction. Specifically, back towards Sugarcube Corner. He took off to the southeast, but got stopped for small talk by a yellow mare with curly orange hair.
"Hey, you're back! What's up?"
"Hey…" started Caramel, squinting at the carrots on her flank. A bundle of carrots, with a telltale golden band around them. "…Golden Harvest, right? Sorry."
The yellow pony nodded. "Oh, it's fine. Identical twins usually get that response, especially with talents as similar as harvesting carrots and growing them. Carrot Top is away in Appleoosa for the month, if that makes things easier. The question still stands, though. What's up?"
"Nothing much." Caramel lied. "I saw the library was still closed, so I was going to get a bite to eat. What about you?"
"I was just headed to the park."
Having established that they were headed in roughly the same direction, the two earth ponies opted to finish their conversation while walking.
"It is weird, though." continued Golden Harvest. "They were just supposed to be delivering a tree, so they should be back by now. Did something happen to them?"
"Oh, no, they're fine. There was a… kerfuffle, with a native buffalo tribe. A territorial dispute, if I understand correctly."
"Oh my. They sorted it all out peacefully, then?" she asked, concern in her voice.
Caramel sighed. "Well, eventually. Pinkie kinda provoked them into a stampede. Your sister jumped onto one from a window and rode it like it was a bucking bronco, and mine took out the chief just as he was about to K.O. the sheriff. Fortunately nopony was hurt, but the repairs to the town will take at least four or five months."
"Toffee… 'took out' their leader? Oh my." said Golden Harvest, concerned.
Caramel quickly shook his head as they neared Sugarcube Corner. "Oh, no. She knocked him down with a pie." After catching her incredulous look, he added "…it's an Appleoosan thing, apparently. Don't ask."
They stopped at Sugarcube Corner, and Golden Harvest breathed a sigh of relief. "So did Toffee not come back with you?"
Thinking on his feet, Caramel answered her. "I don't know. She took a different train, and said she may stop off somewhere along the way. From what I understand she may choose to move somewhere else." He wanted to make sure that if his plan worked, there wouldn't be any pony worrying about the sudden "disappearance" of his "sister".
Not wanting to continue the conversation much further, he bid her farewell and stepped into the sweets shop. The top half of the shop door lay wide open, the smells of hot cross buns buns and cinnamon rolls and other assorted goodies wafting out into the street to advertize their wares to passersby. It was a good thing that Sugarcube Corner didn't have to close whenever Pinkie left town. The bottom half stood only slightly ajar, which he nudged open with his nose as he stepped inside.
He was immediately greeted by Mr. Cake. "Well, hey there Caramel! What can I do for you?"
Caramel looked around the shop, and pointed out a small peanut butter cookie, with fork marks criss-crossing across it. "Could I have two of those to start with?"
"Of course, coming right up!" said Mr. Cake. "That'll be one bit."
Caramel pulled a coin out of his saddlebags and took the brown paper bag in his mouth. He could already smell them, obviously fresh out of the oven. He then turned and found a table to eat at. Looking around, he saw that the shop was pretty empty, likely because most ponies were still full for breakfast. Likely out of boredom, Mr. Cake took off his apron and came to sit at Caramel's table.
"So, how was Appleoosa." he asked casually.
Caramel chuckled. "It wasn't boring; I can tell you that." Responding to Carrot Cake's curious look, he continued after swallowing the last of his first cookie. "The town turned out very nice, but there was a land dispute with the natives. I guess there was a compromise, but only after they stampeded and beat up some of the buildings pretty badly. What did I miss here?"
Mr. Cake nodded thoughtfully. "That sort of thing does happen from time to time on the frontier. I hope no one was hurt. As for Ponyville, Cup Cake and I recently found out we're expecting."
Caramel quickly swallowed his second cookie before he could choke on it. After a moment of discomfort, he spoke up as he wadded the . "Wow, congratulations! Is it a—"
"We're keeping the details a secret until the big day." Carrot Cake said with a mischievous smile. "Can I get you anything else?"
Caramel nodded and pointed to a slice of cake with a cherry on top. Mr. Cake smiled and said "That'll be three bits." He took Caramel's bits to the cash register, and returned with a ceramic plate, the moist chocolate cake resting squarely atop it. After setting it in front of Caramel and tossing the bag over his shoulder into a trash can, Mr. Cake chuckled. "I'm not sure how much congratulations is in order, though. It's really just nature taking its course. Cup Cake has to do all the tough parts."
Caramel nodded his agreement as he sucked on the cherry, swallowing the whip cream before chewing and swallowing the cherry itself. "I guess you're right about that part…" He paused to take a bite of the dark chocolate cake. "…but your part was still pretty important." he added with a chuckle of his own. "And don't forget, she'll be counting on you for the next eleven months. It's really not gonna be just her that's pregnant."
Mr. Cake nodded. "Things are shaping up to be more than I expected, too." he said, clearly choosing his words carefully.
Oh, Celestia. Not more twins! thought Caramel, seeing through his code. "I'm sure it'll be fine. You always have Pinkie if you need her." he commented through a mouthful of the delicious cake.
They both chuckled at the joke, though Mr. Cake more uncomfortably.
"Anyway, this cake is great. You guys certainly won't have trouble bringing home the hay bacon strips."
Mr. Cake smiled. "Thanks, though I can't take all the credit. Pinkie Pie came up with the recipe. We just erased some of the… stranger garnishes, and obviously we baked this one."
"Mm-hmm" said Caramel through the last mouthful of cake. After swallowing it, he commented "Though when something that comes out of her head is normal enough to count as just "strange", I start to worry.
Carrot Cake smiled knowingly and asked "Will you be ord…" he trailed off as a pink blur burst into the bakery.
"OHMYCELESTIACARAMELISBACKYOUWERETHEBESTESTBACKUPDANCERSHOULDWEUSEBALLOONSORSTREAMERSATYOURWELCOMEBACKPARTYNOBALLOONSANDSTREAMERSWAITNOBALLOONSWITHSTREAMERSINSIDETHEMSOIT'SLIKECONFETTIWHENTHEYPOP!"
"No, I should probably go."
Mr. Cake nodded and got up to calm down his apprentice. While he did, Caramel took the opportunity to slip out of the door.
Well, thought Caramel, heading back northwest, at least if she's back, so is Twilight. He trotted briskly to the library, which was indeed open for business.
"Hey, Caramel. What brings you to visit?" asked Twilight excitedly.
"Actually," Caramel explained, "I'm here to check out a book. Do you have any books on Poison Joak?"
Twilight clearly had mixed emotions, disappointed that he wasn't coming over to visit, but excited that someone was actually checking out a book. "Spike!" she called out over shoulder, "Could you grab me a copy of Flower's Freaky Foliage Facts from the botanical section?"
Just faintly, Caramel heard the groggy response. "You've got a horn, Twilight! Why don't you get the book for a change?"
Twilight rolled her eyes, and her horn lit up. Several seconds later, a green hardcover book came floating out of the door. "So, what sparked the interest?"
Caramel flinched inwardly. He hadn't expected her to ask, but then again he couldn't fault her for making small talk. "Oh, a friend of mine thought he found some in his garden. I wanted to check to see if it really was so we'd know how to handle it."
"Well if it is, be careful! That stuff can really mess with somepony." warned Twilight.
"Yeah, I know." responded Caramel. Oh, if she only knew how well I know. He tossed the book into his saddlebag and headed towards his house. Once he was out of sight of the library, he took off west across the river towards the Everfree Forest. Once he had reached the border of the forest, he pulled out the book and flipped to the page on Poison Joak.
"Let's see… blue petals, leaves, and stem, five outer petals, pronounced stamen, typically grows in patches… this shouldn't be too hard." And lo and behold, even as he kept to the sparser parts of the forest, he quickly found what he was looking for: a large patch of Poison Joak, several ponies across. He took off his saddlebags and started pulling up some of the flowers with his mouth and loading them into the bags with the book. When he felt he had collected enough, he strapped his saddlebags back on and took the long way around Ponyville to his house, not wanting to run into anypony on his way. Once inside his house, he dumped the saddlebags out on the floor and wiped the sweat off of his face. At least, he thought it was his face.
Caramel made his way to his bathroom mirror, and was stunned by what he saw. Instead of the angular stallion muzzle he expected, he instead found a beak, like a griffon or a bird would have.
Hmm… he thought. If he picked the plants with his mouth and got a beak, maybe…
Figuring anything was worth a shot, he sat down in the pile and began to rub the leaves against his "most masculine areas" (such as his penis). For a long time, nothing happened. Then, he started to feel a tingling, and looked back to see that his tail had been replaced with a feathered one, and the whole upper part of his rump was covered in white feathers, like a chicken.
Okay, so it's not specifically where it touches you. Maybe to fix this it has to get inside me, to get to all my cells. He put a pot of water on the fireplace and threw in one of the plants. As the tea brewed, he was amazed by how ordinary it smelled. He wasn't sure what magic smelled like, but he was pretty sure it didn't smell like his mother's spice cabinet. Still, after he felt it had boiled for long enough, he took the pot off the fire and let it cool off, before bending down and beginning to drink from it. As he was swallowing, however, he felt his throat shift.
His swallowing rhythm thrown off, Caramel started choking. The frazzled pony choked and sputtered and eventually threw up from inhaling some of the liquid.
Breathing heavily, the blue-eyed earth pony cleaned up the mess, including dumping out the tea and throwing away the leaves. "It didn't work." she said, dejectedly. Then, though the transformation was over, she felt a strange feeling inside her body, something growing where nothing had grown in almost ten years she lowered her plot and felt something small and round sliding out of her.
She turned around, and to her horror, on the floor of her kitchen, lay a single egg, a deep purple with white speckles.
"Oh, pluck me."
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]