The background noise of the Manehatten diner echoed in the distance, sometimes sounding more far away than it actually was. Rain hit the windows, and the cityscape outside was only further blurred like the rest of the diner's interior, which was thick with magic that only one diner-goer could detect.
Sombra stared across the table, watching the other occupant bite into his lunch: a cooked carrot coated in fried batter and stuck on a stick. It was one of six still left inside the little cardboard container sitting atop the slightly greasy napkins on the otherwise clean table. Salt and pepper shakers glittered with the shimmering world around them, reflecting all the foggy colors.
"So..." the white unicorn stallion mumbled through his food, "...funny seeing you here."
Sombra grunted and lit his horn. Nothing appeared to happen and he continued to watch Shining Armor eat, occasionally pausing to brush crumbs off his purple and gold armor with a few strokes of magic. Then, the white-coated and green-eyed disguise began to fade, revealing Sombra's dark gray coat and crimson eyes. The disheveled mane he never bothered to hide or color anything but black was the only thing other than his build that remained unaltered by his magic.
Well, that and the fangs Sombra never let anypony other than Luna - and occasionally Cadance - see. He looked down at the pizza slice on the metal plate in front of him, outshining the waxy paper it rested upon.
"I suppose I could say the same thing, Prince Glitterbutt," Sombra said, shrugging slightly and levitating his coffee mug so he could take a sip. It was covered with a series of symbols that the average pony would dismiss as nonsense, but Shining Armor recognized it quickly enough - time spent around Twilight Sparkle taught him to distinguish advanced mathematics when presented with them. Not that he actually knew any...
"I'm here because Cadance is attending a charity gala with Princess Celestia, hosted by the mayor of the city."
"Sounds like it'd be fun to crash that. Oh, and ten bits says she went because she wanted to criticize the music choices."
"Don't even think about it-"
"I already have," Sombra said, smirking slightly before setting his mug down and casting a mildly disgusted glare at Shining's beverage choice.
"And, yes, she did go to comment on the gala's music choice. Hey, why are you staring at my drink like that? Do you have something against cream soda?"
"Considering I'm a vegan, yes. Yes I do."
"You're drinking coffee that you conjured out of thin air in a fast food joint, so how are you any better?"
"Do you even hear yourself speak?" Sombra said, scoffing. "At least I don't have a little brat of a sister who is spoiled by a pain-in-my-ass goddess."
"That goddess is the ruler of a nation that you live in and has branded you as decently terroristic."
"Just because I illegally show up in whatever country I please and have a habit of kidnapping three fourths of their leaders does not make me 'decently' terroristic, it makes me very terroristic."
Shining Armor looked to the ceiling for divine aid that would never come and gulped down half the soda in his glass. His eyes widened a bit when he looked at Sombra.
"Is that blood on your tie?"
"I just got off work," Sombra said simply, shooting Shining Armor a flat stare that bored through the other stallion with such an intensity that Shining almost felt his skin burn.
"...So that's why you're at a Manehatten diner? Because you've quit your shady Mafia dealings for the day?"
"That would be correct. I had a job in this city and was almost surprised to meet you here."
"In the diner?"
"No, not at all. This place suits your excuse for taste very nicely. In the city. I hadn't heard about the gala."
"Hey!" Shining protested, "I bought you that pizza!"
Sombra rolled his eyes and magically adjusted the tie he wore for his job. It was crimson, and simply his usual cloak woven into a different form. The rest of his suit was just black and white with a jacket collar he always had the compulsion to turn up. The last pony who had commented on the habit didn't live very long. "Oh no, the royal guard captain and prissy Crystal Prince is threatening me, a demon god, I'm positively terrified! You only bought me two slices anyway, you cheapskate."
"Says the crazy hobo who shuns currency."
"Money is disgusting. At least I have the decency to steal what I want. I'm a proud hobo, too. Do you really think a silly All Equestrian Colt type like you is going to diminish my hobo pride?"
"I don't think anything can..."
"Exactly!" Sombra exclaimed, slamming a forehoof onto the table's surface.
Shining nervously sipped his cream soda, nodding vigorously and silently praying to every god but Sombra that he might survive this... unusual lunch. "Yep! Your ego's practically infinite!"
"Agreed!"
He almost choked on the soda when Sombra brought his hoof down on the table again, causing it to shake. Sombra didn't care and simply ignored Shining's coughing until it ceased. Shining was silently glad that Sombra had chosen to keep his usual metal boots in the form of bands of silver around his forehooves - whether the two he wore on his hindlegs were simply concealed by his apparel or Sombra wasn't currently wearing them, Shining didn't know.
"What exactly are those things that you're eating?"
"Corndogs," Shining Armor said through a mouthful of the stuff. "It was originally a food developed by the griffons-"
"Griffonstone?"
"No, no - it wasn't that colony, but cities from their empire in the west that made them. Based them off some snack of ours or something but decided that they wanted to be able to sell this stuff to ponies. That meant they needed to change the meat interior to something ponies could eat."
"Meat eating is absolutely revolting," Sombra said, cringing and keeping no venom from his tone.
Shining Armor's response was simply to eat another corndog. "It's natural for some creatures. I mean, yeah, any pony that does it is obviously sick but not every creature is going to have the diet of a pony."
"That doesn't mean I don't find the concept of a carnivore or an omnivore revolting. Those creatures would even dare to put meat on pizza."
"You're certainly a very weird vegan," Shining Armor mused, chewing his corndog in thought.
Sombra rolled his eyes again and glared at Shining, who, after swallowing his latest bite of corndog, picked up on the meaning quickly:
Do you have anything else to say?
It was an indirect threat, a challenge, and an intimidating one at that. Slowly and carefully, Shining Armor swallowed his corndog. He gingerly placed the stick it had been on down and began to shakily levitate another from the pile. Only four corndogs remained. Sweat trickled down his brow.
Sombra continued to stare at him, the mysterious demon's glare never wavering.
"So, uh, lovely weather we're having?"
Sombra bobbed his head in a small nod. Shining Armor couldn't tell if he was joking or not. In search of any kind of distraction and sudden topic-changer, Shining Armor's blue eyes darted to any and everything he thought would make an adequate thing to discuss.
The windows were a bit dirty.
The cashier looked clinically depressed.
The waitress attending another table looked unusually happy. Had she drained all the emotions from the former?
Shining Armor settled on looking meaningfully upon what was likely a grease stain on the ceiling. "These kinds of places bring back memories."
Sombra made a small sound in the back of his throat as acknowledgement, but his focus was occupied by a stack of papers he had conjured and was browsing through.
"I always loved going out to places like this with Twily and Cady. Diners in Canterlot were always nicer, but gods I love going to them and trying to find all the differences, y'know? Twily and I used to make into a game and we'd try to steal one another's fries and... HEY!"
"Wut?" Sombra grumbled the garbled word through a mouthful of the medium hayfries that Shining Armor had ordered.
Shining almost did a double take when he looked at the contents - or near lack of - the cardboard fry container. "Y-You... just how many of those can you fit in your mouth?! Is it, like, a pocket dimension? Did Cady teach you the art of fry stealing? She's always taking my fries - even if they're cold! Who in their right mind steals cold fries? From their own husband? Oh gods, is this some weird demon spell of yours? "
Sombra's speech and assorted demon noises were largely unintelligible due to the large amount of hayfries he had crammed into his mouth, and yet, if Shining Armor had listened carefully he might have heard something like 'demon racist' through it all.
But he was too busy mourning his fries. "By the sun and moon, Cady taught Luna about hayburgers and fry stealing, and they decided to get you in on it, didn't they? Everypony - and the demon - team up on good ol' Shiny so they can steal his fries! What kind of world is this when a stallion can no longer enjoy fries without his wife, a goddess, and a demon stealing something as sacred as fries?"
"These don't even have sea salt on them, you lout." Most of what Sombra said was still a bit obscured from fries, but his message was clear. Shining Armor simply ranted on, oblivious to Sombra's superior point.
"This nation is built on friendship, lawfulness, and harmony! Fry thieves do not fit into either of those things."
Sombra busied himself by taking the rest of the distracted Shining Armor's fries and setting a few napkins on fire, watching with great interest as the ashes hit the pale surface of wax paper.
'I joined the guard in order to defend against criminal scum like you, but here I am, nice ol' Shiny buying you lunch-"
"I threatened to kill your family if you didn't. Except Pink One. She doesn't need to be threatened into buying me nice things... as often. Shows how horrid a friend you are."
"-and you repay me by stealing something as pure as my humble serving of hayfries, eh?"
"Fight me."
And as Shining Armor ranted on, Sombra busied himself with the task of eating his second pizza slice. It didn't even have any toppings. He had asked for toppings. Eight times. What did he get? No toppings.
"All my life, I've done nothing but abide by the rules, help others, and do good to my fellow pony."
"You're taking this far too seriously. If this topic was anywhere near as important as pizza toppings, me, or anything even half worthy of this kind of rant, I'd be marginally more understanding. The 'bordering on potentially tolerant and not letting you go on purely for my amusement and your pain' kind of understanding. This is just one of the many flavors of understanding that you have yet to learn in this world, Shimmerass. All are part of a larger whole, much like pizza, and yet these small differences come to describe us. ALMOST LIKE THE BLASTED TOPPINGS I KEPT ASKING YOU FOR!"
Sombra finished the last bite of pizza angrily and with a vengeance that snapped Shining Armor from his soliloquy and left him shaking in his seat, eyes wide.
When he opened his mouth to speak, Sombra growled and shoved a paper toward him. Shining's magenta magic flared up and accepted it cautiously. "Since Pink One isn't here to provide intelligible conversation and I'm stuck here with an oaf like you, you're going to be doing whatever I want you to until I decide you've tried my patience to much. Got it?"
Shining Armor hugged the paper Sombra gave him to his breastplate, unable to meet Sombra's fiery gaze and harsh tone. "...Do you just want me to buy you an ice cream cone as an apology?"
"I'M A DAMNED VEGAN!"
"Sorry!" Shining yelped, finally taking a look at the paper. "Oh... this is because I was talking about what my foalhood was like, huh? So you and Cady just talk about this weird stuff... I guess I shouldn't be to surprised, eh? She's always loved horror-"
"I'm beautiful," Sombra snapped.
Shining Armor ignored him, offering only an awkward, sheepish smile as a reply. "I'm not exactly the pony best to judge that. So-" He cleared his throat, coughing slightly in the process, "your paper here says that all demons are at least ten years of age. I don't know much about demons - not like Cady and Princess Luna - but could we just pretend I do?"
"Maybe."
"How'd you find this out?"
"Demon, god-being, and magical genius. Perhaps those had something to do with it?"
"Ah-hah. Got it, so then, does this mean you were first created with the mind and body of a ten year old?"
"I was fourteen."
"It says that all demons are-"
Sombra growled and facehoofed. "No, it says at least. Not exactly. Have you ever considered observing the details of something?"
Shining Armor was quiet, and at the moment he looked like he was going to speak again, Sombra snatched his paper back and promptly sat up. He shuffled it in with the others in the stack he still had out, shoved a few of the little plastic jelly thingies into an interior pocket of his suit and lit his horn, reconstructing the colors of his disguise in moments.
"You and your family annoy me endlessly with your idiocy, Gleaming Sprinkle."
Making sure he had the last word, Sombra teleported away and the magical barriers reminiscent of an incomplete pocket dimension or a washed out expressionist landscape painting dissolved around him the instant the demon disappeared.
"...You're welcome for the free lunch?"
When he received no reply, Shining Armor busied himself with eating corndogs once more.
Alone.