Dear Princess Luna,
Firstly let me apologize for the tardiness of this report. I offer no excuses, only a promise to keep you up to date with recent developments.
To begin, you may be aware of the fact a great sum of money has fallen into my, and thereby our, possession. The bulk has gone to the organization which we have decided to dub The Watchers for the sake of identity convenience. In further news our numbers has more than doubled since my last report, though I reccomend for the sake of secrecy that the knowledge of Watcher identities stay within The Watchers. Should a covert operation be required in your presence the chances of revealing ourselves will be greatly diminished this way. This also offers plausible deniability should we fail a given task.
As for current issues, we have made no headway as of yet in the search for the Manifest's host. However I expect this to change shortly for two reasons. The first being we have dispatched a small team to Canterlot to search in case the new host was merely visiting. The second reason being a character of sage wisdom should be arriving in Ponyville any day now, and I highly reccomend her for recruitment. Her experience, knowledge, and wisdom cannot be found in any other citizen of Equestria to the best of my knowledge. Furthermore I know for certain in the future an outstandingly powerful relic will be given to her, one the Watchers would do well to hide from the public.
I will send another report post-meeting to update you on our situation. May the stars watch over you!
Sincerely,
Harley
I read over the letter a few times before signing my name, thereby sending it to the princess. Sighing I lean my head back, staring up at the clear sky. "Shouldn't be long now..."
Who exactly are we waiting on?
"Zecora, a Zebra who lives in the Everfree Forest. She's a skilled alchemist, and I assume a powerful practitioner of magic."
You called her a Sage?
"I think so, why?"
Zebra Sages are indeed powerful users of the arcane. Though their methods are quite different from Unicorns, and typically they practice the discipline of not flaunting their power. Long ago they made no such effort, and creatures everywhere were threatened by their presence. Even the Royal Sisters were weary of crossing them.
Memories of what I've imagined in my head, and much fan art of Fallout Equestria resurface, and I mutter, "Yeah... I can imagine..."
You're talking to me out loud, you may wish to nip this habit in the butt before it becomes an issue.
I stiffen, and clear my throat with a blush. Then I look around to see if anyone was watching, and find... No one... Nopony anywhere. Frowning I look up, usually there's at least one or two pegasai up in the sky playing, especially here in the park.
"Okay... One of two things. Either Pinkie really has gone Cupcakes and murdered everypony... Or Zecora is in town." I adjust the gauntlets Doc made for me, and stand, tucking the correspondence book into a messenger bag Rarity made for me. I tend to keep my backpack with all my earthly possessions back home under my bed, not the most original hiding spot I know, but I want to save money on a safe for my future house.
Standing I start walking through town towards Sugarcube Corner. The town is silent, and I admit it has me a little on edge. Swallowing heavily I creep through alleyways, and poke my head around a corner in time to see Twilight dive through the door of Sugarcube Corner at the frantic request of Pinkie Pie.
Or maybe it's the Trotting Dead.
The what?
Video series, discontinued I think. Shame too... Oh, there she is!
I spot the familiar figure of Zecora pawing at the ground a little ways down the street. The gold bangles on her forlegs jingle a slight bit, the rest of her hidden under a brown cloak.
Why the cloak?
Perhaps she is cold, or expecting rain?
On a cloudless Summer day?
Well you said she abides in the Everfree Forest, perhaps it offers some other protection, or a means of camouflage. Or maybe it simply serves to keep the sun out of her eyes, the Everfree Forest is a rather dimly lit setting after all.
Maybe, you're probably right. Still, no wonder ponies are afraid to go near her. Everything from her coloring to her hair style to her choice of fashion is so exotic to these ponies.
And you're certain she can be trusted?
Absolutely, she's pretty much the Master Yoda of MLP... If Yoda talked in rhyme instead of doing that thing where he says the first half of a sentence last. Come to think of it from the way she'll end up teaching Twilight magic she might actually be a Jedi. I wonder if our eggheads can make Lightsabers.
...You do realize that me being in your head doesn't make me knowledgable in all that you say, yes?
Sorry, I'll try to get in the habit of passing you memories, and mental images to-WHAT THE?!
I'm so engrossed in my mental conversation that I hadn't heard someone sneaking up on me. Not until I hear the sound of magic then something pressed to my face with an all too familiar smell.
Not this shit again...
...
When I come to I'm back home, my head spinning. "Ugh... Fucking chloroform... Bonbon!" I sit up with a frown, and across the room Lyra jumps. Then she smiles at me relieved.
"Oh good, you're awake," she sighs. "I was starting to worry I used too much, and you weren't going to wake up."
Blinking I ask, "...It was you who knocked me out? Why?!"
"Because of Zecora," she says, fright creeping into her voice. "I-I was going to check on Daisy, and I knew Bonbon had that stuff in case we had a burglar, so I brought it with me for self defense. When I saw you I thought you were going to try to get rid of her, and even with your new powers that... It seemed risky... I didn't want to risk an argument that would attract Zecora to us, or you charging after her anyways..."
"So you drugged me until she left," I finish out loud, and sigh. "How long was I out?"
"...Six hours..."
So Zecora's already gone home by now, which means the first act of the episode is over. Tomorrow the Poison Joke shenanigans ensue.
Lyra may have done us a favor. We have no idea how Poison Joke would affect you, perhaps even botching the spell with the ring.
Nodding I lick my lips, processing that. "...Thanks Lyra... I think you really did stop me from doing something stupid, and getting myself killed..."
She offers a sheepish, slightly comforted smile. "If you say so... Still, I'm really sorry about that."
"All is forgiven. Where is Bonbon?"
"Not sure," Lyra says thoughtfully. "I think she went to Canterlot to visit our friends. Either that, or she's hiding out somewhere else in town."
"Everypony is still hiding? Why? I would have thought Zecora was long gone by now."
"She is, but most everypony wants to wait, and make sure it's safe. Give whatever vibes she left a chance to wear off."
Were ponies always this superstitious?
Actually I remember it being far worse. A mob would have formed to hunt Zecora within weeks of her arrival if this took place a thousand years ago.
Really? Huh...
Why am I sensing apprehension in you?
Well, um... I... Had a thought... That I don't feel like sharing.
You think it would offend me?
I shall plead the Fifth Amendment, and refuse to speak on the grounds that what I say can, and probably will incriminate me.
...Was that a joke?
It was an attempt.
That... Wasn't half bad actually. Even if I didn't completely understand it.
I jump when a neon green hoof waves in front of my face. Lyra tilts her head, "Are you alright? You were zoning out there..."
"Yeah," I assure her with a smile, and a chuckle. "Really, I'm fine. Just got lost in thought for a little bit. So are there any plans for the rest of the day?"
She shrugs, "Not especially no..."
"Sweet, then let's go for a few rounds on the pool table until Bonbon gets back!"
And that's how the rest of the day proceeds. Turns out Lyra is a pretty snazzy Pool player with a mean trick-shot. I'm lucky to last four turns with her, and I start to wonder how she got a harp for her Cutie Mark when her real talent is hustling Pool.
Luckily she's also not that much of a braggart, and shows me a few ways to improve my technique. I don't really have long to practice though because Bonbon returns home after about a dozen games. I let her chew Lyra a bit for untrained use of sedatives, but then we all chill out over a specialty of mine, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches! Yum...
...
The next day Nightmare Moon urges me awake at the crack of dawn, just like I asked the night before. It gives me plenty of time to get some coffee in my system, and join Bonbon on her daily running route.
"A Zebra Sage," Bonbon muses after I explain the situation. "I've never met one, but I heard stories... Are you sure you can convince her to join us?"
"Bonbon, the Watchers are full of ponies I know would go out of their way to help other ponies," I reply, and take a few panting breaths. "Zecora is no exception. She's never raised a hoof against anyone, save for when she will butt heads with Twilight today, literally. We won't have much time though, especially with the Mane 6 chomping at the bit to come get her."
"Because they think she's cursed her, but really it's the work of a magical flower?"
"Exactly," I say. "Zecora is wise, and I don't doubt she will a use any of the knowledge I plan to share with her. If anything I see her being an incredibly valuable member of our team. I just need to find a way to get to her without getting Poison Joked."
Bonbon considers my dilemma, "Well, you've been in the Everfree Forest before, surely you've never run across it before."
I shake my head, "No, but then again I was never exactly looking for her hut... But maybe I should wait here, hope that I can catch her when she comes into town for the things she needs for the cure."
"But then how will we convince her about you? Or ensure all things go according to Canon?"
I nod, "Right... Okay then, how about we go together? While Poison Joke might be lethal to me there's less risk with you."
"Gee, thanks," she deadpans.
"I'm serious Bonbon!"
"Why would it be lethal to you? I mean if this stuff wants a laugh then nothing it does should be dangerous."
"It turned Applejack into the size of a mouse, you don't call that dangerous?"
Bonbon considers that, "...Point taken... So what exactly happens this morning?"
"Um... Twilight wakes up, brushes her mane, and finds out her horn is all floppy from the-"
I break off when Bonbon snickers, "Wow, really?"
Nodding a smile a bit myself, the sound of others laughing always makes me feel happier. "So after that she goes into a freak out research session, her friends so up, scene of dialogue, and then..."
Bonbon raises an eyebrow, "What?"
"Then Applebloom slips away to visit Zecora, Applejack playing stowaway in her mane, and tail."
"Well that simplifies things," Bonbon states with a smile. "Just tail Applebloom! You can handle that on your own right? I was hoping to check in with the Doc on some of his experiments.
"I... Suppose so," I reply uncertainly. "I mean, I'll certainly do my best."
"Oh what do you have to be scared of from a filly, and magic flowers?"
I sigh heavily after we stop, and I catch my breath, "You just had to jinx it..."
And that's what brought me to the Everfree Forest... Stalking a filly... Sweet Celestia just thinking it makes me feel dirty, like this was some horrifically twisted Rule 34 story... Please excuse me as I lose my lunch. I'm once again reminded how different the perspectives are when there's a digital screen separating realities. I enjoyed a lot of twisted stuff in my world, but when it's no longer fiction... I'll just move along now.
Thankfully at the time I don't, it would give away my position. Applebloom follows the trail Zecora must have taken yesterday because the blue flowers of Poison Joke are there. I use my speed though to get us over, and around them. She looks so scared after I set her down, but thankfully she doesn't bolt back the way she came.
After which I venture ahead with my speed, and shockingly enough Zecora's tree-hut isn't too far away after a bend in the trail. A peek in the window reveals the zebra inside arranging a shelf of clay jars. So I pop inside, grab her, and carry her off through the forest until we get to a clearing by the river.
After I slip my ring on Zecora leaps into a defensive stance that has me putting up my fists in reflex. As I open my hands to gesture with calming palms Zecora starts to shout.
"What manner of creature dares abduct me?! Come closer you ape, and test that theory!"
"Whoa, Zecora, chill," I shush. "Please, I swear I'm not here to hurt you."
Raising an eyebrow she says, "How is it that you know my name? I was not aware I was credited infamy, or fame."
"It's a really, really long story so please just calm down. Look..." Slowly I sit, and cross my legs. "See, nonthreatening, just hear me out please."
My explanation is cut off by a scream in the distance, but not from the hut. I jerk upright, and take off towards it, Zecora following me quickly. She's quite agile in forest terrain, I note.
We keep running until we get to another treeline, this one by a river. I swear my lungs are trying to kill me, I'm not exactly in shape, and I make a mental reminder to get in an exercise routine with Rainbow Dash.
Harley, look!
I blink, and look across the river. Past the rapids I see five Timberwolves the size of black bears surrounding... A human girl. My eyes bulge as I stare in shock. I can only see her back at the moment, well, that and her brilliantly dyed maroon hair.
Zecora snaps something, a curse in her native language I presume. I don't care, Timberwolves will rip that girl apart if we don't act fast. I'm about to yank off my ring when Zecora steps in front of me, pressing a hoof into the water, muttering something I can't understand.
The river rolls, and rises until the ground on both sides is moderately flooded to ankle-deep. Then on the opposite bank water rushes up in geysers under the wolves, busting them apart one by one into random pieces of wood that are swiftly carried down the current.
...Whoa
I told you Zebra Sages were powerful.
Yeah, Master Yoda eat your heart out...
My attention focuses on the girl again, and I cup my hands around my mouth, "Hey you!"
She turns wide eyed, obviouly still tense from about being ripped apart. "Hey thanks! I was just gonna jump in the river drown myself! But this works too," She calls back.
"Hold on a second," I call, and slip off my ring. I've never tried running on water before, but with time slowed for me I'm more than a bit curious. The world around me slows, or I accelerate, either way it never stops being fucking cool... Getting off topic.
My perception of the world slows to one hour for me to one second to everyone, and I take off at a run towards the water... And fall in. The water goes up to my neck, but with time slowed the current does nothing. So with a sigh I just push my way through the water, and climb out the other side, a bit surprised to find I'm not even wet, perfectly dry. Must be that magical containment field Doc, and Minuet talked about when explaining my condition, either that or I'm just moving too fast for water to soak into my clothing.
Shrugging I slip my inhibitor ring back on to bring me back to the usual pace of time as I walk up beside the 5"6 girl, and jump as a loud splash sounds behind me. Turning I see the speed of my passing has momentarily split the water of the river for a few seconds.
"And like that I surpass Moses, and The Flash," I chuckle, turning to the girl... Something about her baby face, and her fern green eyes is unshakably familiar. "...Have... Have we met?"
She shrugs," Don't know...But you do like familiar..." she squints in suspicion, but it fades into a grin. "But yeah, thanks for the save dude."
"No problem," I reply. "You're lucky it was just Timberwolves. Compared to some of the creatures in this forest they're almost tame." I extend a hand for her to shake, "I'm Harley, welcome to Equestria!"
She takes my hand and shakes it firmly. "Savanna...And what...?"
"Savanna..." I blink... Then blink again. "Wait... Star Splice, from FanFiction?!" My jaw starts hanging open.
She raises a brow. "Yeah? I have an account on th-..." She trails off then brightens, "Wolfe?!"
I smile brightly, and then yank her into a hug, "I don't fucking believe it!"
You know this female?
Yeah, she's one of my first writing buddies back in my world! We skyped a few times, but the video quality was never the greatest. Plus she's always dying her hair different colors.
I wipe my eye, and squeeze her tighter, "I never thought I'd see any of my friends again! Guess now you know why I've been on hiatus a few months."
She reaches up and traps me in a headlock, and gives me a noogie. "Yeah! No kidding... But uh... Uh, mind explaining what the fuck's going on Wolfe? One minute I'm driving, the next I'm here."
I squirm out of her grip, and take a few steps back, rubbing my head. "Eh... It's a little hard to explain. Maybe I should show before I tell." Looking back over my shoulder I say, "Speaking of, I better get her home. I'm on a mission after all."
I step aside to let her see Zecora across the river who waves a hoof at us. I don't say anything, letting Savanna take in what she's seeing. I mean how often do you see a 3-foot zebra with a black/white Mohawk, gold bangles around her legs, and neck with matching earrings?
She stares...and stares. "Am...Am...Am I high right now? I knew that asian place looked sketchy..." She runs her hand over her eyes, and shakes her head.
I laugh, and pat her back, "Savanna... This is Zecora." I look around, and up-river I spot a trail of large stones we can hop across to get back to the other side. I lead the way, and within minutes the two are meeting face to face.
Zecora glances between us, and says, "Truly this experience is something new, but nonetheless a pleasure to meet you. My name is Zecora, a zebra sage, but spare your alarm for I offer no rage. If within these trees you find yourself lost then I will show you the way, free of cost."
"I have no idea why she rhymes," I shrug. "I just assumed it was how her native language translates to basic speech."
"So like Italians when you cut them off on the highway? Only ya know...Not rhyming, just cursing...Ha..." she notices our confused looks and sighs "Eh...nevermind."
Zecora, and I share a raised eyebrow, and I wave a hand, "Right, so, Zecora... That little filly who followed you into the woods yesterday? She's on her way to your hut now. Her friends think they're under a curse, but it's just Poison Joke. She feels responsible for it... Think you can help?"
Zecora nods with a soft smile, "Indeed I can brew a cure, an herbal bath works for sure. Like the back of my hoof I know these woods well, so to stay safe let's group for a spell."
"Sounds good," I respond brightly, and as Zecora takes the lead I turn my attention back to Savanna as we walk. "...Okay, to sum things up, you're not crazy, or high... We've just somehow crossed dimensions into the land of Equestria, the setting of the show My Little Pony."
She groans, "Really? Why couldn't I get sucked into like, Saw, or something? Slap some bitches for being so stupid?"
I snicker, "You might get your chance, and more. After all Equestria hasn't made an engine more advanced than the Steam Engine yet. I know a stallion in town who pioneers mechanics, and science so if you tell him what you need he could help you invent the automobile... Heck, he might even be help you build the Batmobile given enough time."
She looks horrified. "You soggy lampshade. You know how fucking long it takes to build an engine by scratch?!"
...Not the reaction I was expecting...
"Not like we're pressed for time," I inform her. "Nothing super dangerous is going to start happening around here until after the Grand Galloping Gala, and that's still months away. Want me to write to the princesses to get you a ticket?"
"Well I'm lost...The flipping fudge is the Galloping gala?"
"It's the party of the year," I explain. "A formal gathering in the castle where the elite of the nobility gather to mingle. Basically a huge banquet with music, dancing, and the princesses themselves attend. Pretty much everypony in Equestria dreams of going at least once, and since I'm pretty tight with the princesses I got my own ticket."
I hold up my hand, showing her my black ring with the dark blue crescent moon gemstone, "See, long story short they had to put a curse on me to save my life. It comes with its ups, and downs though. I take this off, and time slows down around me... Or I move faster through time... Either way, taking this ring off makes a second to you stretch into an hour for me. But according to a certain expert of arcane sciences I know, if I lose this ring then I'll die of old age within a matter of days, weeks at most."
"Oh, tranquil." She pips, "Wait...What the hell did you do to almost die?"
I gulp, "Well... I... I've been here a few months, arrived before the series premiere... I was worried my even being here would have altered events of Canon, and would be sending this timeline down a dark path. So I took precautions... I knew where to get my hands on magic to fight back, and took it... Turned out I didn't need to."
She raises a brow, "Fight back to what...?"
Me.
Not helping!
"Nightmare Moon," I reply out loud. "You see, Equestria is ruled by two princesses who work together to control the cycle of night, and day with their magic. Ponies revere them as goddesses, and about a thousand years ago the princess of the night, Luna, went mad with jealousy. She thought her older sister, Celestia, was stealing all the love, and adoration of their subjects because while ponies moved about during the day they all but ignored the night in their sleep. So... Well..."
How to put this tactfully...?
I tried to kill Celestia, simple as that.
I sigh, and wipe my forehead, "Luna... Fought her sister, and consumed with dark magic she took on the name Nightmare Moon. Celestia was forced to use powerful relics to banish Nightmare Moon to the moon for a thousand years, and when she came back she tried to plunge the world into eternal night."
"Well that's pretty metal...So is she like, still loose or something?"
"No... No, Nightmare Moon is not a threat anymore. Some friends of mine, the main cast, they used those same relics to push the darkness out of Luna, and Celestia took her younger sister younger sister back to Canterlot."
How does she not know this if you are from the same world?
Not everyone in my world watches MLP. She's pretty clueless about things here apart from what I may have mentioned, and even those she may have shrugged out of her memory because of lack of interest.
Out loud I say, "But I thought my being here might have screwed things up, so I knew where to find some powerful magic. A spell that would allow me to manifest stuff into reality. I thought it would be a good fit, that I was clever enough to use it to counter whatever Nightmare Moon could throw at me."
Well aren't you self-confident?
You think I'm wrong?
...I am uncertain. You have displayed some cleverness since we merged.
She raises both her brows and sighs heavily. "Great. Well since I'm suck in this fandom now... What can I do to help?"
"The princesses tasked me with keeping things as close to Canon as I can manage," I reply. "So I've gathered who I can who can help manage things from behind the scenes, manipulate things to stay the course for a happy future. You're multitalented Savanna, I know there's a lot you can do. My forte is writing, logic puzzles, and foresight into the events of the show. But you, you know mechanics, art, and probably a lot of stuff I know squat about. The best I could do was tell Doc that an engine is a device that uses contained small-scale explosions to propel a series of mechanics, but you can show him exactly how it works with drawings, and experience. This guy created flameless fireworks, and since I can warp time..."
I give her a wide smile, "Not just mechanics of an engine either. Let me put it this way... Catherine Halsey never had access to magic."
"Dude, thats frickin' boom AF. I'm down for this!" She says happily, "Where is this Doc?"
"Back in Ponyville," I inform her. "At the moment though I'm in the middle of an episode, and recruiting Zecora here into The Watchers. It's what the others, and I call our group, I'll introduce you later."
We finally arrive at the hut, and we see Applebloom trying to decide whether to go in, or not, her ears pinned back in fright. The filly half Zecora's size sits, the pink bow in her maroon mane drooping with her ears as she plays with some dirt, not having noticed us yet.
"Who dat?"
Applebloom jerks to her tiny hooves at the sound of Sav's voice, and spins. She gasps with a smile when she sees me, but her pupils contract a bit when she sees Zecora. Smiling I walk over, and pick up the yellow filly. "Savanna, meet Applebloom. Her family runs an apple orchard just outside town, and they put me up for a while when I first got here."
Applebloom looks up at me, then at Savanna. "Who's yer friend Harley," she drawls in her southern accent.
She smiles, " Savanna. Or Sav...or Sanana. Whatever floats your boat."
Applebloom gives her a smile, and glances down at Zecora hesitantly. I rub her back, "It's okay Applebloom, we already talked with Zecora. Your friends aren't cursed, just got into some blue flowers called Poison Joke."
Applebloom looks up at me as Zecora heads into her tree house hut. "What's that?"
"It's a magical plant," I explain to both my friends. "It does stuff to you, takes whatever you say, or do around it to play an ironic prank on you later. Remember how Applejack was going on about being your big sister?"
That brings a smile to Applebloom's face, and she giggles, "Yeah, now she's 'bout the size of a mouse! She fit in my mane!"
"Good thing the..." she whips her head to me with a smirk,"Joker isn't here."
I shudder, and wiggle my finger sporting my inhibitor ring at her. "Don't even think about it. I've been careful to avoid the stuff out of fear it nullifies this ring. Then I'm screwed."
Applebloom looks confused, glancing from one of us to the other.
Sav sighs, "I was making a pun...Batman, Joker... Poison Joke?..."
"Yeah, I know," I deadpan. "Puns are only funny if they're not so obvious. Just take a look at the names of cities in Equestria, those are at least a little funny."
She groans and stomps her feet as she tilts her head back. "No Wolf! That one was cheesy! Not obvious!"
"It was cheesy because it was obvious," I retort.
"Whatever. You say tomato, I say tato."
I rub my face with one hand, deciding this is one debate I would rather avoid altogether. Zecora comes back out with a sheet of paper in her teeth. She puts it in an upturned hoof, and offers it to Savanna since my arms are full.
"In order to make my herbal brew I have a favor that I must ask of you. Deep within our surroundings are simple ingredients in need of pounding. But take heed of the warning I offer you, trifle not with leaves of blue. And should you hear strange noises, do not stay, but quickly make haste the other way."
"Sure." Sav takes the list and folds it to shove it into her pocket, "Always love a little adventure."
"Seriously, we need to be careful," I agree. "A lot of monsters mythical in our world live here, including at least one dragon. We shouldn't wander too far from the hut." Carefully I set Applebloom on her hooves, and roll up my sleeves to reveal the metal, and leather gauntlets Doc had made for me, the blue hues of the metal guards reflecting a bit in the bits of light that dare peek through the treetops.
"We'll be fine." She says," I'm in a completely different world, I know the dangers." She says seriously and dusts off her black hoodie before she rests her hands on her hips.
I scoff quietly, but don't press the issue. "Well, at least we're moderately prepared... Zecora, how about starting up the bath so we can sort this all out as soon as they get here?"
Applebloom tilts her head, "They?"
"Twilight, and the others," I explain. "They'll have noticed your absence by now, and probably come looking for you."
"Oh, well we best get a move-on then," the little filly says brightly, and trots off, easily passing between Savanna's legs as she heads for the foliage. I follow, grinning at my friend as I hold a bush aside for her to pass through.
Sav walks though with a small smile. "Thanks... Hey uh... I'm sorry of I was kinda a bitch... This whole thing is still sinking in, and I use bitchiness to cover how fucking terrified I am right now."
"Figured," I reply, and pat her shoulder. "No worries though, we won't be here much longer. This episode ends with a spa trip so there's something to look forward to."
"Yeah..."
"What? Don't tell me you don't like the spa," I chuckle as I walk briskly to catch up with Applebloom.
"Don't know, never been to one." She trots next to me, being short always has its downsides.
I slow my stride, and call ahead, "Applebloom, don't wander!" Then I eye the list Zecora gave Savanna, and hold out my hand for it.
Over the next hour we gather everything on the list, keeping track of where Zecora's but is located. Suddenly we hear a loud crash, and shouting from the hut.
Savanna perks, and full on sprints towards the hut. "Come on!"
We get there to a rather comical scene, at least in my opinion. Zecora, and Twilight Sparkle are literally in each other's face in anger, Twilight's horn all floppy with polka-dots from the Poison Joke. On Zecora's left ear Applejack is trying to wrestle her, despite only being a few inches tall.
A look to the side shows among the wreckage of the hut's insides is Rarity with a bad mane day, debris from the forest stuck in her ragged locks that make her look like some species of dog. Pinkie Pie's tongue is hanging out with spots, too large for speech. Rainbow Dash's wings are folded against her belly where the Poison Joke had moved them, but nothing seems wrong with Fluttershy... But I know better.
"Um...Pretty sure that's bad, the heck happened?"
Everypony looks up at Sav in surprise, and Applejack gasps, "Applebloom!"
"Hey guys, throwing a party?" I chuckle as I step in. "Girls, relax."
"You don't understand," Twilight shouts. "We heard her saying she was going to make soup out of Applebloom! And she cursed us!"
I pucker my face in barely contained amusement as I turn to Savanna, and Applebloom.
Sav picks up the tiny pony carefully and holds her up, singing the lion king song. "She's fine, see?" She tickles the wittle pony's belly.
I lose it then, and there, laughing as Applebloom squirms in Savanna's grip. Zecora laughs right along with us much to the bewilderment of the other six ponies in the room.
She then sets the pony down on her hooves and grins. "God it's so weird setting...ponies...With eyebrows..."
"You'll get used to it," I reply with a minor chuckle. "And Twilight, relax. There's no curse."
Twilight looks skeptical, "You can't be serious, and tell me this isn't a curse!"
Applebloom giggles as she walks by them, "Did them silly fillies get in yer head Twilight? You know there's no such thing as a curse."
"Actually there is," I state, and tap my ring to remind them, my mind clicking ahead a few seasons to King Sombra. "But this isn't one of them. You guys just got into some Poison Joke, and we were helping Zecora put together a herbal bath cure for you."
Rainbow Dash raises an eyebrow, "Wait... Did you know this was gonna happen?!"
"I did indeed," I nod, slipping my hands behind my back. "And trust me, this needed to happen. Zecora helps you guys out quite a bit in the future, and you all help ponies realize she's not somepony to be scared of." I notice the tipped cauldron in the middle of the room, "Ah... Well then, guess we have to start again someplace?"
"And that would be...?..."
"Well, if memory serves-"
"You knew the cure resided in this tome," Zecora interrupts, tapping a green book nearby. "And knew these folk would destroy my home?"
I sigh, "...Yes Zecora, I knew. But there was an important lesson to be learned here about judging books by their cover. After all, Twilight owns a copy of the same book."
Twilight looks away sheepishly, "Well... Yes, I do... I just didn't look inside because the title was so cryptic... 'Supernaturals,' I thought it was a book about the supernatural when Spike showed it to me..."
Zecora smiles softly, "Well, maybe next time you will take a second look, and not judge the cover of the book." The ponies all look a bit guilty at that, considering they all judged Zecora on appearance up to now.
Twilight smiles apologetically at Zecora, "Zecora... Would you be willing to make another batch of that cure for us?"
Everything is in order here, I am no longer required. So I step outside, nodding for Sav to join me.
She does, hopping up next to me. "So, now what?"
"Now we leave them to it," I reply, walking the trail back towards town. "We can beat them to the spa, or we can go meet The Watchers if you want."
"Watchers. They sound cool."
I smirk, "Alright. Half our members are stationed in Canterlot, which is hours away by train. I can introduce you to our Ponyville members though. Doc lives here."
"Aw yiss."
So I slip off my ring, and carry her the rest of the way into town, stopping by the fountain in front of town hall. I'm very careful to be gentle with her as I set her on the fountain edge, and put my ring back on.
"That was so flippin' AWESOME!" She hops down off the fountain and grins wildly
"I know right?" I chuckle as I look around, the ponies stopping to stare at us, mostly at Savanna. They're used to me, but she's new. So I gesture for her to follow as I head into the streets.
"Okay, this guy we're going to is in the fandom called Doctor Whooves," I explain. "Basically the pony version of Doctor Who. But he's not like that, and he's fine just going by 'Doc.' He's a little bit out there so expect some weirdness. Just don't make fun of anything you see, no matter how bitchy you feel, alrighty?"
"I'll do my best." She asures and stretches.
We arrive at a certain house, and I reach for the doorbell. I turn my head slightly at the last second, and then put a hand on Sav's shoulder as I yank her into a squatting position. Seconds later a grey blur swoops inches over our heads, and crashes into a nearby tree, scaring birds away.
"Jesus!- second time today I've almost had my head ripped off!"
I stand up with a sigh, "Celestia dammit..." I stand, and walk to the tree, and look up. A certain wall-eyed grey Pegasus with blond hair smiles down at me, waving a hoof at me while her tail is stuck between two branches.
"Hi Harley!"
"Hey Derpy," I sigh.
Savanna grumps, "Hey, maybe next time, could you maybe...Oh I don't know, NOT try to take our heads off next time?"
Derpy pouts, "Sorry..."
"Don't be so hard on her," I say. "This is Ditzy Doo, but most everyone calls her Derpy Hooves. She's got this little issue with her eyes, so flying straight is a bit of a trouble, but she's a good mare." I hold up a hand, and flick my wrist, making the wolverine blades extend from my gauntlet, and I fire the grappling hook from my other to scale the tree up to her.
"That's some Assassin's Creed shit right there...Goddammit I'm jealous."
"Part of the inspiration," I mutter as I cut tree branches to free Ditzy. "Doc took apart my iPhone to learn how to make a charger, so he's already got access to the invention of the Microchip."
"Oh shit..." she patting herself down frantically. "Keys, wallet, knife...another knife...No pho- oh wait!" She reaches down her shirt in her bra and pulls out her Galaxy. "Think he could do it for this puppy too?"
"Oh he'd love the chance," I reply as I carry Derpy down. Derpy smiles at Savanna, and waves happily.
She waves back awkwardly. "Sorry I yelled at you. Still new to this world."
She blinks, and leans over with narrowed eyes. Then she gasps, and smiles, "You're a human too!" She smiles widely as her left eye focuses on Savanna, her right eye sort of doing its own thing.
"Uh...Yeah, I am, unfortunately."
Derpy leaps out of my arms, and tackles her to the ground in a hug. I chuckle, letting Savanna get her first experience with the exceptionally soft, and thick-furred equines of Equestria as I ring the doorbell.
Sav makes a weird duck noise as she thuds to the ground. "Wow! Down girl!"
I blink, and looks down at them as the door open. Out steps Doc, a tan earth pony with a short chestnut mane. Today he's wearing the collar of a fancy shirt complete with a green bow tie, and on his rump is an hourglass Cutie Mark.
"Oh hello Harley," he says pleasantly in his typical British accent. "Miss Doo, and..." He furrows his eyebrows at Savanna before they skyrocket. "Well! I'll be..." He pulls Derpy off of Savanna, and offers her a hoof to sit up. "Another human, and... Hm, judging from the body structure, particularly in mammary glands, and the longer mane I would hazard a guess you are female?"
"Quite a way to put it, but yes."
"Fascinating!" He smiles as he walks around her, "My word, we do have some bipedal creatures in Equestria like Minotaurs, and Dragons when they're younger, but humans... Well, I would adore the chance to study your race!"
I facepalm, "Doc..."
"Oh, right!" He stops beside her, and clears his throat. "A pleasure to meet you ma'am! I am Doctor Time Turner, but my friends simply call me Doc. Whichever works best for you. Now, how can I- Ooo!" He spots her phone on the ground, and sits as he picks it up with a hoof. "Well now! This certainly seems like another cellular phone... Hm... Is this an older model, or a newer one than Harley's?"
"Made by a different company," I explain. "Totally different phone."
"You don't say..." Doc's eyes glimmer a bit as he turns it over in his front hooves.
"Uh yeah, a newer one, S6."
He looks up at her with ears straight up, and offers it back to her. "Right, well, please do come in!" He stands, and trots back into the house. I help Savanna up as Derpy follows.
"Watch your head," I warn as I duck into the house.
She just walks into the house, not having to duck.
That must be depressing...
Doc takes us to a guest room, and disappears, returning a minute or three later with an espresso for each of us. "Now, how can I help? Begging your pardon, but whenever you pay an unannounced visit Harley you typically want something."
I just nod to Savanna as I sip my offered drink.
She takes it with a nod of thanks. "Actually Doc. We're here to help you."
"Oh?" He blinks, and tilts his head with a raised eyebrow, "Help me how?"
"Engines, tec, prints. Grade A- mechanic at your service."
Doc straightens up, "Really? Well I have been working on one thing recently. I got a design from Pinkie Pie for a helicopter capable of lifting a single pony pilot by pedaling of all things. I'm trying to make a larger version capable of housing all of us when the Gala comes around. Harley said arriving in a helicopter would have style."
"Pedaling? And all of you? How many is that exactly?"
"Well there's myself, Harley, Miss Bonbon, and her date Lyra-"
"I'm telling her you said that," I laugh, and Doc pales a bit.
"Okay, and with this pedal design how frick frack patty wack are you gonna find enough people to pedal?"
"Well I thought an electric engine would be a good idea, and the pedaling would just be a way of minimizing battery usage," Doc replies to Sav, tugging at his tie.
"Or we could simplify it, use hot air like a hot air balloon."
"Nobility has those already," I inform her. "It's lost its appeal."
She groans and huffs. "Alright then...What about a crank engine? Use it to charge a series of gears and blah blah blah..."
I smile as I watch them talk tech stuff, and sip my coffee... This is going to turn out very well.