Rainbow Dash, Element of Gratitude.
Thanks for Nothing.
I wasn't quite sure I felt quite right that morning.
At first I had put it down to being hungry. We had been so grateful for finding the apples that it hadn't occured to us that we couldn't garentee we would find any more and that we were meant to be saving food, so by the end of the day we had almost eaten the entire tree. I had ended up giving Toola-Roola most of mine, since she went to the effort of making that dress for me. It's only fair.
That was when I heard the voices.
"Why should you thank them?"
I had been about to say something when it spoke again.
"Don't tell them. They'll think you're insane and leave you."
Insane? Pinkie Pie's obviously mad and nopony's suggested leaving her. Why would I be different? I opened my mouth again, and heard it.
"Why should you thank them?"
What the hell- forgive my language- is it talking about?
"The name's Strife. Seriously, though- why should you thank the others?"
Why should I thank them? After everything they've done to me? Don't be silly!
He kept saying things like that for the rest of the day. I just ignored him. After a while I stopped questioning my sanity and started listening again.
"Why should you thank them? Look at them. They've treated you like dirt all morning!"
I couldn't help but agree. Most of the others have been muttering to themselves. I tried talking to Minty and she just snapped at me to get lost. I swear I heard her muttering "....not sorry......" under her breath.
Wait- What am I thinking? No. Strife is trying to brainwash me. I mustn't give in, I mustn't!
"Did Kimono thank you for making part of the bracelet for her, or one of the big charms you decorated the castle with?"
What? She thanked me! She thanked me a million times over-
"Thanking someone isn't as simple as saying the words. Yes, she said she was grateful, but did she ever pay you back?"
What? That's not how it works! She doesn't owe me anything, it was her birthday and I did it out of the goodness of my heart!
"You went to all that effort to make the big charm and the little charm, and what did you gain from it? What's the point of helping others if you don't get anything in return?"
.....I hate to say it, but he's right. What was the point of going to the effort of making the charms? It took time and effort, and I gained nothing. Why did I do it?
"Did anypony give you anything in return for hosting Christmas?"
No. No they didn't.
"You helped get Rarity back to Unicornia and she repayed you by enslaving you! What did you get for helping to save the Winter Wishes Festival?"
He's right.
Thanks for nothing.
I trotted right up to Kimono, raising a hoof and hitting her between the eyes, knocking her over.
"You're welcome!"
"Wh-what?" she stuttered, awkwardly finding her hooves.
"What did I gain from making the big rainbow charm for you, or the little one for your bracelet?"
"Wha-"
"What was the point? Why should be grateful if nopony ever thanks me?"
"But-"
I hit her again. "Turns out I did gain something: The sweet taste of REVENGE!"
"P-Please......"
I raised my hoof and hit here one more time, harder than ever. She slumped over, unconscious. I grinned. "That's what you get for not thanking me! Why should I be grateful if nopony else is?"
I saw StarSong muttering something to Sweetie Belle, the filly's face turning to one of extreme anger. She galloped towards me, her horn glowing brightly. The next thing I knew I could feel the skin on my leg below my knee tearing itself apart seemingly without reason, blood dripping down onto the grass.
After everything I've done for her, she attacked me! She just outright attacked me! Why should I be grateful if nopony else is!?
I growled at her, trotting over to where I had left the dress Toola-Roola made for me. Did she even try? The paint looks awful. It's not even rainbow, it's just yellow! And to think I gave up my food to thank her for this! I pinned it to the floor with my hooves and bit it with my teeth, pulling my head upwards until it tore. I gave them all one last glare.
"Thanks for nothing."
Sweetie Belle, Element of Kindness.
Time to be Cruel.
I woke up that morning feeling pretty awful, but I didn't bother telling anypony. It didn't seem like we would be working too hard and I didn't want to bother them. I was probably fine- or, at least I was fine until I heard the voice.
"What is the point of being kind?"
I had been about to tell the others, fearing for my sanity, when it spoke again.
"Don't tell them. They'll think you're crazy and send you away. The name's Strife. Now, tell me: Why are you kind?"
I shoved his voice out of my head for few hours in the hope that he would give up, but he didn't. After a while I started to listen.
"Why do you choose to be kind?"
Why? I.....I guess it's just the right thing to do.
"So? My brother isn't kind, and he pretty much rules the world now! What do you intend to gain from being kind?"
Well.....I don't really gain anything from it......
"Then why? You could be Queen of Unicornia if you weren't so kind!"
I suppose you're right.....No! This is crazy! What the hell do you want?
Crap, I just swore! Crap, I keep swearing! Since when do I freaking swear- oh God dammit I keep freakin' swearing!
"Nopony else is being kind at the moment. You saw Minty! When Rainbow Dash tried to talk to her, she yelled at her and said she wasn't sorry!"
She's probably just not in a good mood. Right is right, even if nopony is doing it, and wrong is wrong, even if everypony is doing it!
"Look! Rainbow Dash is hitting Kimono! And she's enjoying it! Being cruel is fun!"
What? No! I won't!
StarSong flew over to me, hovering a few inches to my right. "Psst," she whispered. "Remember how Rainbow Dash was muttering to herself?"
"Yeah?" I asked.
"I heard her. She said that you were a stupid narwhal, and you'll never really be her friend, and the reason Scootaloo likes you is because she's too young to see that all narwhals are snobs and not because you're the same age!"
WHAT?
What the hell is wrong with her?
I'm going to freaking kill her, the racist moron! I freaking charged the hell at her, growling. I used my magic to slice her leg. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.
Being cruel is freaking fun.
"YOU'RE ALL FREAKING LOSERS AND YOU CAN ALL GO TO HELL! I'M GOING TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU WITH MY MAGIC, STUPID FREAKING MUDPONIES! GOD DAMN YOU ALL! I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!"
I've been freaking kind for far too freaking long, dammit. I grinned.
"Time to be cruel."
StarSong SkyHigh, Element of Honesty.
Lies Can Be Fun.
I wasn't feeling all that well that morning. I didn't think anything of it, assumed it was just because I had spent so long in prison. I never want to go there again. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. All I know is that after a while I heard a voice.
"Why not just lie?"
I had been about to tell the others when he spoke again.
"If you tell them about me, they'll think you're mad and send you away."
Who is he?
"My name is Strife. Now, answer me!"
I didn't. I just ignored him, praying he would go away on his own. But for a few hours, I kept hearing him. After a while I got bored. What the hell? Mind my language. What harm could come of playing with him?
"Why do you tell the truth? Why not just lie?"
Well, why lie? I lie sometimes if it's better than telling the truth, but why should I lie all the time?
"Because it can be fun."
What do you mean?
"Other ponies' problems can be interesting."
What? That's crazy! Only baddies think that!
"Think of it like this: You know how you like books?"
Yeah?
"Well, the reason you like books is because bad things happen to the characters and you want to know if they'll be okay at the end."
But-
"It's like that, except you cause the problems. It'll all turn out okay in the end, so why not?"
Well, I guess- this is crazy! Are you tryna brainwash me or something?
"Try giving some 'characters' some much-needed karma. See, Rainbow Dash just hit Kimono! That wasn't very nice, was it? Why not even it out by telling Sweetie Belle that Rainbow Dash called her a narwhal?"
But that would be wrong!
"And hitting Kimono wasn't? Besides, Sweetie Belle wouldn't do anything that bad!"
I nodded, flying over to Sweetie Belle. "Psst," I whispered. "Remember how Rainbow Dash was muttering to herself?"
"Yeah?" she asked.
"I heard her. She said that you were a stupid narwhal, and you'll never really be her friend, and the reason Scootaloo likes you is because she's too young to see that all narwhals are snobs and not because you're the same age!"
She growled, charging at Rainbow Dash with her horn glowing. The next thing I knew I saw the blue mare's leg being cut open. Wow, this is actually entertaining! I wonder what Rainbow Dash will do next? It'll all turn out okay in the end, though, books always do! I giggled.
"Lies can be fun."
Scootaloo Joyride, Element of Laughter.
What's the Point?
I gotta admit, I didn't feel all that well that morning. Not sick enough for it to be worth it to tell Cheerilee, but not quite right. I had just continued trying to find games to play- until I heard the voice.
"What is the point of fun?"
I had started to go over to Cheerilee when I heard him.
"Don't even think about telling her. It won't end well. Now, tell me: What's the point of playing games?"
Duh, it's fun!
"And what is 'fun'?"
Err...........it makes me happy!
"And what is the point of happiness?"
Err.......I dunno.
"What's the point of living? Why not just sit down, forever?"
What? This is nuts! This isn't cool beans at all! Why would I sit down forever?
"Why would you do anything, ever? There's no point for the Earth to exist. Since you have to live, just sit there."
He's right.
I might just sit here. Nothing else to do. Nothing has any meaning. Why do anything else?
"What's the point?"
Cheerilee Joyride, Element of Loyalty.
Trust Is Too Fragile.
I didn't feel great that morning. I didn't say anything because Scootaloo didn't seem any better, and I didn't want to worry her. I thought I would be fine- until I heard the voice.
Why do you hang out with the others?
I looked up. I was about to tell somepony when I heard it again.
If you tell them, they'll think you're mad. Then they'll send you away, because you're the only pony here who knows what loyalty is.
I glared at myself. Who in Ponyland is this guy?
You can call me Strife. So, tell me........Why are you still playing with them? Don't you know you can't be the second one to stab them all in the back?
What is he talking about? I forced myself not to listen to him. I hoped Scootaloo could distract me with a game, but she just stared blankly at me and said, "What's the point?"
I gave up on talking to other ponies after that. In time I grew bored and started to listen to the voice.
"Why do you hang out with the others?"
Duh. They're nice to me.
"At the moment, they are. Who know how long that'll last?"
Don't be silly! They would never betray me!
"You've read The Hunger Games. If you're in a team, then your survival depends entirely on whether the others decide they want to keep you around. You can't afford to be the second person on your team to stab them in the back. You should attack them and leave before they get the chance to do you in."
What? That's nuts! Why would they betray me?
"Why wouldn't they? No offense, but......You're not terribly strong, or brainy, or agile, and you don't know how to find food. Why shouldn't they leave you? I'm just looking out for your best interests."
Err.....thanks. If it looks like somepony's going to stab us all in the back, which I doubt, then I'll take Scootaloo and gallop.
"Take Scootaloo? No way, she's just as likely to betray you as anypony else, and even if she doesn't she'll slow you down!"
So? This is all hypothetical. It's not like they're going to betray me.
"Oh, you silly little pony! Look around you!"
I stared around me. Nothing happening. I was about to think-say something to Strife when Rainbow Dash stood up. I watched her stomp over to Kimono, shouting something and hitting her. She yelled something again- I should have known what she was saying but I wasn't paying attention- and hit her again. Some more screaming, and she hit her one more time. Kimono just fell, unconscious.
"See? And now Sweetie Belle looks pretty angry. Get out."
...
I'm sorry, Scootaloo. And Pinkie Pie. And Toola-Roola, Sweetie Belle, Minty, StarSong, Rainbow Dash. And Celestia, Luna, Kimono, Twilight, Sunset.
I've no right to leave. But what else can I do? Rainbow Dash has already almost turned on us. Sweetie Belle looks furious and Scootaloo is an empty shell. I have to be first. I can't be the second pony to stab everypony else in the back, because then I'll already have been stabbed.
I wish I didn't have to do this. But I can't let you break my trust. If my trust in all of you was greatly misplaced, then I'm dead meat. I can't risk it. I'm sorry. Life's not fair. This is horrible. I turned back for a second before I ran, staring tearfully at my friends.
"Trust is too fragile."
Toola-Roola 'Bhruis-Pheantaidh Gaileiridh-Ceàird, Element of Generosity.
Let's See You Do Better.
That wasn't the best of mornings. Something just hadn't felt right. At first I assumed it was just guilt over Rainbow Dash giving me her apples- until I heard the voice.
"Why do you do things for them?"
I had been about to tell the others when I heard it again.
"Don't tell them. They won't believe you."
I glared at nothing in particular. Who is this guy?
"You can call me Strife. So, tell me, why do you continue to make things for your friends?"
I ignored him, but he kept saying it. I forced myself not to listen. For a while, anyway. After a few hours of the others muttering to themselves and ignoring me I got bored and decided to listen, just to see what he was about.
"Why do you go to the effort of making things for your friends?"
Well, why not? It's a nice thing to do.
"They don't care either way. They say they love your paintings, but I bet they probably throw them away when you're not looking."
Why would they do that?
"They think you're worthless. You should leave them, find someone who appreciates your talents."
Yeah, right. I rolled my eyes, sarcastically thinking I would keep it in mind. I got back to staring into nothing (trust me, it's more fun than it sounds). It was a while before something happened that made me look up.
Rainbow Dash stood up, storming over to Kimono. There was shouting, I know that, but I could barely hear her over Strife.
"They don't need you. You're nothing to them. They wouldn't care if you never did a thing for them again."
I heard hoofsteps and turned to see Cheerilee galloping away. I instinctively turned to Scootaloo only to see her staring blankly into nothing. The next thing I knew I could something tearing. I turned to see Rainbow Dash standing on one part of her dress and using her teeth to tear it apart.
Her dress.
The dress I made.
I stayed up ALL NIGHT to make that thing, and look at all the damns she gives?
I give up.
"You're all idiots," I yelled. "and I hope you all die in a pit! Go screw yourselves!"
Hmph. I'm not good enough? I glared at them.
"Let's see you do better."
Minty Bubblegum, Element of Apology.
Not Sorry.
I hadn't felt right that morning. I couldn't quite put my hoof on it, but something was unusual. I had assumed it was nothing important and continued with my day- until I heard the voice.
"Why are you sorry?"
I had been about to tell the others when I heard it again.
"Don't even think about telling the others."
Eh? Who is this dude?
"You can call me Strife. Now, tell me.......why do you ever apologise?"
I shrugged to myself. It never really occured to me. I guess......I guess it's because I'm pretty unlucky, and clumsy, and I've learned apologising is easier than pointing out that it's not my fault, even when it isn't.
"Nopony else ever apologises, why should you? Is it your fault that you're unlucky?"
Well, no, but it's not like I can blame everything on luck. Remember that time I almost ruined Christmas? It was unlucky that I broke the Here Comes Christmas Candy Cane, yeah, but if I hadn't flown up to adjust it it wouldn't have happened.
"Yeah, you're right- hey, isn't that the time Pinkie Pie told you to fly to the North Pole, knowing you didn't know how to fly a hot air balloon, and made it out to be your fault when you almost died?"
What? She didn't say that, I just misinterpreted it! If I had let her finish-
"She should have worded it properly! And the Here Comes Christmas Candy Cane would have fallen down anyway, it was so crooked! What's next, apologising for being green? For existing?"
What? No! That's-
I noticed Rainbow Dash trotting towards me. Good. Somepony to distract me from Strife.
"That brat! Can't she see we're busy?"
"Minty, darling! How are you doing-"
"Tell her to leave. "
"Are you okay, dar-"
"Shut up!"
I didn't know if I was talking to her or Strife. At the time, probably Strife. But in the seconds afterwards I realised the one who really needed to hear it was Rainbow Dash.
Why should I have to apologise so much? Nopony else does. I went through HELL to save Christmas because Pinkie Pie wasn't clear enough, and I was meant to apologise! Nopony else ever says sorry to me, ever! Even when they do, it's not just 'sorry, Minty', it's 'sorry, somepony pushed me' or 'sorry, I couldn't see you because I don't have my glasses'!
I glared back at Rainbow Dash.
"Not sorry."
Pinkie Pie, Element of Magic/Friendship.
I thought we were friends.
W-What'th happening?
I thtared around. Toola-Roola was glaring at everypony. Rainbow Dash wath tearing up her dreth. Sssscootaloo wath jutht thitting there, thtaring at nothing. SsstarSssong wath flying above it all, thmiling. Ssssweetie Belle was throwing rocks. Minty wath glaring at the ground. I thtill haven't theen Cheerilee thince she galloped off. Kimono only jutht woke up and she lookth ath confuthed ath I feel.
But that'th not even the wortht part. They're grey. All grey. Rainbow Dash'th beautiful rainbow mane, SsstarSssong'th sparkly wings, Sssscootaloo'th dirty coat, Minty'th pink locks, Toola-Roola'th shiny fur, Sssweetie Belle'th sharp horn............all grey. Why? What'th happening? When will it thtop? When will I get my friendth back?
I thtared up at the thky, beginning to thing quiety to mythelf.
"All of the wayth it can fall apart,
thomething you thay, a thimple mithtake,
Mithunderthtandingth taking away yearth worth of love,
What on Earth happened?
I thought we were friendth!
"How I adored playing with them,
and I knew they loved playing with me,
You'd alwayth find uth thide by thide, wherever we were....
What the hell happened?
I thought we were friendth!"
I thtared longingly at them for a while. Maybe there wath thtill hope? I galloped over to Toola-Roola, hoping for the betht. Fingerth crothed. Well, you croth your fingerth. I'll jutht croth my hooveth.
"Remember? Once you told me, you're a li'l thcared of the dark,
I told you, I can be afraid of it too!
We shared our feelingth, good friendth always do!"
I expected her to thnap out of it and regain her colour, but she jutht raithed a hoof and thlapped me acroth the fathe, thinging back at me, with anger in her voice.
"Minty's right there!
Scoots and Sweetie too!
They'll hear you saying I'm scared of the dark!
Now scram!"
I thighed, trotting off, thtaring at the ground.
"Being a pal, having a pal who'd come when I called.....
Tell me what happened?!
I thought we were friendth?!
Being a pal,
having a pal who'd come when I called.....
Tell me what happened.....
I thought we were frieeeeeeendth...."