//------------------------------// // 11 - Serpentine // Story: Sun and Hearth // by bookplayer //------------------------------// Another pony was drawn into view. Hauled, really, and it was two ponies, a mother clutching her foal for dear life. The foal must have been just a few months old, still in a diaper. Cookie was sure this would be it. He’d spent the past… however long feeling every nuanced variation of horror, defiance, helplessness, and disgust. That monster was going to top it all now, and he’d go mad. He very nearly wished for it. If he went mad, he might not mind the garish colors of the landscape that burned into his eyes or the distorted and haphazard being perched on the throne a short distance away. He might not mind that no matter what he felt he couldn’t cry, or vomit, or speak. Perhaps he’d think that he was actually the doll his body had been turned into before being cast carelessly aside. Perhaps he’d like being a doll. Perhaps he’d always really been made of cloth, with unblinking button eyes. No, he thought firmly. The mother and foal were lifted off the ground. The mother buried her face in her foal’s mane, wrapping her whole body around the child in a desperate attempt to protect it, but the child was ripped from her hooves. Her eyes went wide in terror and she let out a bloodcurdling scream as she fought with all her might to get to where the foal floated a few feet away. The monster smiled. He pulled the foal up to his shaggy muzzle full of mismatched teeth and examined it for a moment. The foal didn’t know enough to quake in terror, but its mother’s screaming and incoherent pleading made it turn its head. Upon seeing her desperately grasping body floating nearby, it burst into tears with the loud wail only a small child could make. The monster wasn’t pleased with that, and his serpentine form straightened on the throne. He frowned at the child, and the child became a bright yellow ball which floated to the monster’s talon. The sound of the mother’s screaming stopped for a moment, but only because it had reached a pitch and intensity too high for a pony to actually voice. The talon squeezed the ball, and in the silence it let out two small squeaks. This made the monster smile, and he tossed the ball in the air a few times. The mother regained her voice, once again pleading and shrieking, her face contorted in agony and terror at the nightmare in front of her. The monster caught sight of the mother and tossed the ball again, before hurling it away. Cookie couldn’t see how far it went—he couldn’t turn his head—but the mother’s eyes became huge, and her mouth dropped open. She struggled to be freed but just wound up scrambling in the air as the monster pulled her closer to him, until that muzzle was just inches away from her own. The monster smirked, his yellow eyes narrowed in mirth. “Go fetch.” She fell to the ground and righted herself more quickly than anypony Cookie had ever seen, running away in the direction the ball had flown as if running for her life. Or for the life of her foal. As the monster’s horrible laughter echoed across the world, or what might as well have been the world as far as Cookie knew, Cookie imagined that the mother found her foal. He tried not to imagine the poor mare sobbing as she clutched at the ball, stroking it tenderly, praying to the stars to make her baby right again. He tried not to wonder how long that might take to happen. He definitely tried not to wonder if it would ever happen. It didn’t work. This was never going to end. Celestia and Luna weren’t in control of the sun or moon; this monster had stolen them. That simply couldn’t have happened if Celestia could have stopped him. And if Celestia couldn’t stop this monster... Stay strong, Smart Cookie. Keep your wits about you, Hurricane’s voice ran through his head. I’m trying, but imagining the voices of my dead friends may not be the best way to maintain my sanity. What sanity you’ve ever had to maintain is up for debate, but realizing that we’re imaginary is a point in your favor. Puddinghead was right, of course. If he knew the voices weren’t real, that his friends had been dead for hundreds of years, he was probably still sane.  You are still sane. You need help, and remembering us can help you, as long as you know we’re not real. Pansy’s voice calmed him. Cookie would have taken a deep breath, had his current form been capable of it. Right. I— I need you. I need you all. It’s like I’m in the cave alone. It’s warmer here, at least. He could hear the smile in Platinum’s voice.  Yes, but this could last forever, or at least until I go mad. How many ponies are there in Equestria? How many lives can I watch torn apart before I’m broken? How many— Clover cut through his thoughts, Don’t dare think about that, Cookie! If you get in your own head now, you’re never coming out. You may not have noticed, but I’m in my own head, Cookie thought dryly. You are also in my head. It’s the only blasted place I exist right now! You know exactly what I mean. You’re the one who thought it. Yes, but I also thought the other bit. Listen to Clover, Cookie, Hurricane ordered. She’s the expert on magic. She should know if you can get out of this. She’s also imaginary. They were quiet for a moment, then Pansy asked gently, Do you want our help or not? The monster lounged on his throne, the stunted legs of a dragon and a goat dangling over one arm. With a bored frown, he surveyed his kingdom—the bizarre mismatched wasteland that had once been Equestria, now remade in his own image by his seemingly omnipotent magic. I need you, Cookie begged. Please. Listen to Clover, Pansy told him. Don’t worry about getting out, just think of something else. I haven’t slept in stars know how long, he thought. Are there even stars? How long has it been since the moon was out? He heard Clover snort a laugh. There are still stars, Cookie. You know perfectly well how the sky works. That’s why they’re the stars. They’re always there, Puddinghead said simply, as if talking to a foal. Why do we think they have any sort of a care for ponies? Cookie asked them. Or himself. He could hear Platinum rolling her eyes. For the same reason you’re talking to us now. We’re all going mad? That does explain a lot about ponies, Puddinghead chuckled. No, you daft bugger. Clover’s voice was full of sympathy. We need to think the stars have a care for us. We need to think something does so that we don’t go mad at times like this. You all have a care for me. Always, Pansy replied quickly.  You’re all long dead, Cookie thought with the sigh he would have made had he been capable of sighing. Clover answered, Doesn’t matter. *** The monster floated a pegasus stallion to his face, muzzle to muzzle. The stallion flapped his wings uselessly and struggled against the magic. “What’s your name?” the monster asked, raising his eyebrows. The pegasus moved his mouth a few times before stuttering, “Calm Wind.” “What an awful name.” The monster stared into the pony’s eyes. “From now on, you’re Lipwitz Smackybottom.” “I’m Lipwitz Smackybottom,” Calm Wind repeated blankly. The monster grinned, showing his mismatched teeth. “Much better, Lipwitz. Are you married?” “Yes. With three foals,” Calm Wind said in the same blank voice. “That’s entirely too many foals. You have one foal. I’ll let you pick your favorite.” The monster leaned on his elbow, never breaking eye contact with the pony. “So, tell me about your wife…” I can’t listen to anymore of this. By the grace of the stars let that monster have a heart so that I can drive a spear through it, rip it out, roast it, and eat it. The monster continued; Cookie was forced to watch, but instead of hearing him he heard Pansy’s voice. Cookie, you’ve never lifted a spear in your life. And ponies don’t even eat flesh, Clover added. He doesn’t care right now, Hurricane said darkly. I don’t blame him. I knew you’d be on my side. We’re all on your side, Puddinghead pointed out. We’re your own thoughts. Fine, but at this moment, I’m leaning towards my Hurricane thoughts. I knew you were a bright lad. The monster released the pegasus, and the stallion flew off with a blank stare to throw his own life into chaos. Where is Celestia? Cookie thought. She’s out there, Pansy assured him. She’s alive. You’re right, Cookie agreed. That monster would never kill her. He’d torture her. He’d break her mind, enslave her in some form, use her for his amusement. Equestria may be dead, but Celestia isn’t, though she may wish— Cookie, Clover said in a warning voice. He hasn’t got her. He’d keep her by the throne, Hurricane said plainly. Are you sure? Yes. Platinum spoke up. Equestria isn’t dead, in either case. You’re alive, and you have your mind. You hold the dream if nopony else does. I’m currently in the form of a doll and in the process of going mad. But I appreciate the thought. It’s your own thought, Clover reminded him. Equestria stands. *** Two ponies walked towards the monster. Cookie wondered if he was finally hallucinating; ponies didn’t walk towards the monster, they ran away, generally as fast as they could. When the ponies became clear, he was fairly sure he was hallucinating. It looked like Celestia and Luna. Celestia. I love you. The ponies continued moving closer, towards the back of the monster’s throne, until Cookie could see the dust and dirt on their coats and the look of angry determination on their faces. He started to consider that this might actually be happening. She’s going to end this blasted nightmare, Puddinghead said, almost in awe. What if she falls? Cookie thought, then instantly wished he hadn’t, as he realized what he might see happen to her and what might become of Equestria. She won’t, Pansy assured him. Cookie could focus only on Celestia. She was beautiful, and she seemed so real compared to the creature on the throne. But being real meant she could fall, and Cookie had seen the power that creature wielded. He begged her, No please, if you fall… if I watch it… please. She won’t fall! Hurricane shouted, trying to drown out his other thoughts. The throne spun around, and at once the creature was facing the sisters with a wicked grin on his face. “Oh, this is so much fun. How about a game of 'Pin the Tail on the Pony'?” The monster was holding Celestia’s tail. Celestia looked shocked. Cookie began to panic; she didn’t realize his powers. She wasn’t prepared. Please, stars above, no. Cookie whimpered to himself, every thought willing his unmoving head to turn away and his unblinking eyes to shut. Don’t make me watch. Don’t make me watch. Celestia’s eyes narrowed and she stepped towards the monster again, Luna moving to her sister’s side. “Playtime is over for you, Discord.” She can’t fall, Clover said plainly. Why not? Cookie thought in not much more than a whimper. Because you can’t think that, Cookie, she answered. The monster munched on a talonful of some kind of seeds, not at all concerned with the alicorns in front of him. “Oh, I doubt that.” Stay strong, Hurricane ordered. Whatever happens, stay strong. I can’t, Cookie whimpered again. “Hungry?” The monster offered them some of the seeds. Both sisters scowled at him, unmoving. “Suit yourselves,” he said with a smile, shoving another talonful of seeds in his mouth, heedless as they fell and scattered around him. Out of the saddlebags the sisters wore, something floated in their magic. Cookie stared in confusion at six gems, each a different color and one in the shape of a star. Something about them looked familiar, or maybe felt familiar, even from this distance. The monster looked surprised for a moment, then studied the stones floating in front of him. “Oh! What have you got there?” The stones! Clover’s voice rang through Cookie’s head. She has the stones from the tree! “The Elements of Harmony,” Celestia and Clover said at the same time, as the stones began to circle the sisters, spinning into a magic bubble. Luna added, “With them, we shall defeat you.” The feeling from the stones was recognizable now, strong and thick even where Cookie lay. It was the warmth of the fire, a feeling of safety and certainty and joy like he’d thought he might never experience again. The monster fell over on his throne laughing, “You should see yourselves right now. The expressions on your face. So intense. So sure of yourselves…” Destroy him. Hurricane’s voice became Cookie’s, it didn’t matter anymore, as a bright rainbow burst from the bubble, arcing into the air before shooting directly towards the monster with a high pitched whooshing sound. “Hilarious!” was the monster’s last cry as the rainbow enveloped him, then spread to cover as far as Cookie could see, including where he lay. Thank you, Clover. Thank you all. Clover’s voice seemed unreal, fading into his own as she answered, We’re always with you, you fool. A flash of white light filled his vision, and when it dispersed Cookie found he had a body he could move again. He immediately tested it by curling into a ball, his eyes squeezed shut, seeing only darkness for the first time since the monster appeared. Unused to breathing, and caught between sobbing and laughing, he found his breath coming at a quick pant he couldn’t stop, until he felt a gentle hoof on his shoulder. “Cookie!” Celestia sounded like sunlight, a joyful laugh in her voice, and her hoof, the first pony who’d touched him in far too long, felt as solid as the earth itself. “Oh, Cookie,” her beautiful voice filled with concern. “Are you alright? He swallowed, speaking slowly, “I am. I… I’m here.” He opened his eyes and saw her there, shining and gorgeous, and beyond her green grass and a clear blue sky and the righted houses of Everfree. He gave a smile, weak and uncertain, but fully earnest in love and gratitude. “Equestria is safe.” Celestia smiled gently. “Equestria is safe. You need to rest.” She leaned down and nuzzled him. “Do you think you can make your way to the castle?” Cookie tried pushing himself up with his forelegs. His body seemed in working order, not even weak, though jerky and uncertain. He gave a nod. Watching him carefully, Celestia offered a hoof to help him up. “Don’t bother with the passages, nopony cares right now. Just go to my chambers and wait for me there, I must make sure everypony else is safe and secure.” “Of course.” Cookie took a breath. “Take all the time you need, I’m well enough.” Celestia nodded and grinned. “I’m glad to hear it, because tonight we celebrate victory.” Cookie was almost startled by her joyful confidence, but it proved infectious and he grinned back. As he turned towards the castle, something caught his eye that made his back tense. There where the throne had been stood a statue of the monster, frozen in laughter. The smile fell from his face. “I thought…” “He is imprisoned,” Celestia answered. “Don’t worry, it’s safer than Tartarus. He can never escape.” Cookie eyed it suspiciously a moment more, before giving a nod. “Very well then. I suppose that will have to do.” It was a week before Nightmare Night, and the trees had yet to be run, so the woods outside of Cookie’s gate still held their fall finery. Cookie was using the crisp day to bed his gardens down for the winter, laying mulch and pulling any weeds that looked hearty enough to survive both the cover and the freezing weather ahead. He was coming around the side of the cottage when he saw the puff of smoke and flash of magic at his front gate. He froze and blinked for a moment at the two visitors. The one who drew his eyes right away and made him clench his jaw was that creature. Discord seemed smaller than he had at their previous encounter, or it might have been the perspective of a doll that made him seem to tower over the ponies he tormented, but in either case he scanned Cookie’s house and yard with an easy curiosity. Next to him Cookie was mildly surprised to see Luna, looking annoyed and watching Discord out of the corner of her eye. He considered turning around before he was spotted and hopping the fence at the back of his house to hide in the woods until they left. Had it been Discord alone, he probably would have. But whatever mischief Luna might be up to with the monster, he was sure she wouldn’t dare allow it to come to light in front of him. Cookie drew all the courage he possessed and stepped into the front yard, looking between the visitors. “A bit early for gathering candy, isn’t it?” Luna gave him flat look, then turned to Discord and gestured to Cookie with a hoof. “Discord, may I introduce Chocolate Chip.” Discord appeared directly in front of him, and it took all of his willpower not to step back. The monster floated in a circle around him as Cookie tried to follow the movement. Cookie wasn’t sure what he might be watching for, there wasn’t anything he could do against the creature, but on instinct he wasn’t about to let him out of sight. “He’s it?” Discord asked, raising an eyebrow at Luna. “I’m what?” Cookie narrowed his eyes. Discord frowned at him. “An ordinary pony. But the clearly absurd rumor is that you’re Princess Celestia’s special somepony.” Luna rolled her eyes. “I told you he was not worth investigating.” Cookie frowned at Discord. “I am Celestia’s special somepony, and I would rather not be investigated.” A light suddenly flashed in Cookie’s face, blinding him for a moment. When his vision returned he saw a camera in front of his face with Discord behind it. “Oh, come now. When you’re dating a Princess, you have to expect the paparazzi.” Cookie pushed the camera out of his face. “Which is one reason I live miles from town and Celestia is careful in her visits.” “Not careful enough,” Luna grumbled. Discord shook his head in disappointment. “Oh, Celestia. I expected so much better from you.” He shot Cookie a pouting glare and disappeared, appearing again on the front step of the house. “Well, we’re here, we might as well have tea.” Cookie blinked. “Excuse me?” “You invited Cadance and Twilight to tea. I assumed our invitations got lost in the mail.” Crossing his talon and paw in front of him, Discord raised an eyebrow at Cookie. Shaking his head, Cookie realized his way was blocked. He couldn’t get into his own house without addressing the monster in front of it. “I assure you they didn’t,” Cookie said firmly. “Then you probably didn’t put enough postage on mine.” Discord waved a dismissive talon. “Sometimes the postpony falls into the bottomless pit in my dimension, so it takes an extra stamp.” Cookie swallowed, not wanting to ask, but needing the answer all the same. “How do they get out?” Discord shrugged. “The same way they came in, I suppose.” Closing his eyes, Cookie drew a deep breath and then turned to Luna. “What is the meaning of this visit?” Luna gave an annoyed snort. “Discord felt that if you and Celestia were close enough to have tea with Cadance and Twilight, we should have been invited as well. He found where you live by following my sister and asked me to join him.” “That’s not how invitations work.” Cookie glared in Discord’s direction. Luna raised an eyebrow. “Do you wish to explain that to him?” With a sigh, Cookie considered the futility of his situation. All that he had seen of the creature told him both that he wanted to be anywhere else in Equestria, and that there was no point in attempting to keep Discord out of his home. Finally, he closed his eyes and drew a breath. “I suppose if you want tea, we’d better go inside.” “You could try to sound a little more welcoming.” Discord finally stepped away from the door far enough for Cookie to walk up to it. “No, I really couldn’t.” Cookie gritted his teeth as he passed Discord and opened the door, holding it for his guests. Discord vanished, reappearing on the couch inside. Cookie looked to Luna and stood by the door for her, at least. She offered him a wan smile. “At least he’s only attempting to overthrow tea parties.” Cookie shook his head and followed Luna inside. Doing his best to ignore Discord, he made a beeline for the kitchen. It seemed in his mind to be a paradise, free from the duties of hosting this nightmare, and he wondered how long he might use the pretense of boiling water to avoid his guests. “Allow me to assist you,” Luna’s voice came from behind him as he put a hoof on the kitchen door. “That won’t be necessary,” Cookie said over his shoulder. Luna followed him into the kitchen anyway. “I insist.” Once in the kitchen, Cookie gave a sigh and closed his eyes to steady himself. He heard the running of water and opened them to see Luna with the kettle in her magic at the sink. “Thank you for the assistance, but it really wasn’t needed.” Cookie began gathering cups and the rest of the tea service. “And… I hope you don’t take my manner as inhospitality towards you. Our past interactions aside, you know I’m perfectly willing to serve you tea if you care to visit.” “I am not here for tea, Smart Cookie.” Her magic floated the kettle to the stove. She offered a sympathetic smile. “I didn’t require an invitation for your meeting with Cadance and Twilight Sparkle.” Cookie nodded, pulling out a pumpkin loaf he had on hoof and taking it to the counter to slice. “I assumed that. Celestia made the arrangements, and I’m sure she would have kept you in mind if you cared to come. But then why are you here?” “If I hadn’t come, Discord would have come anyway.” Luna raised her eyebrows. “I guard your dreams. I know better than anypony the things you fear. While I know he won’t harm you, I will not allow you to face him alone.” A large part of the tension eased from Cookie’s back. The thought of going back out there with Discord was almost bearable. And it was far more than he would have expected from Luna, either in her royal duties or as a personal favor. Cookie glanced at her, and his expression melted into a warm smile. “Thank you, Luna. This means quite a lot to me.” Luna returned the smile, lifting the kettle in her magic. “It is my duty, and my pleasure.” Her smile shifted to a smirk as she added, “Well, except for it requiring me to endure your manners.” “A noble sacrifice, worthy of respect,” Cookie chuckled, sliding the tea tray onto his back. He paused at the door, his smile fading again as he drew strength. In the living room he found Discord leaning over and surveying the books on one of the low shelves that lined the wall. “So, Chocolate Chip, I see you have a lot of… nothing at all interesting.” Vanishing, Discord reappeared sitting on the couch. Cookie set the tray on the coffee table. “I’ve traveled a lot in my life, so I don’t keep much beyond what I need and a bit of comfort.” “Oh, were you an airship pirate?” Discord didn’t even wait for a suggestion from Cookie, a full tea cup appeared in his talon. Cookie frowned at him, then caught Luna’s eye and nodded at the teapot. Luna smiled at him with a snort, but her magic lifted the teapot and poured her tea. Settling in with his own cup of tea, Cookie looked to Discord. “No… I don’t believe I’ve ever tried piracy. I simply like meeting new ponies and seeing new places.” Discord covered his mouth with his paw, yawning as Cookie spoke. He quickly pulled it away and smiled politely. “So what do you do?” Cookie took a sip of tea. “Bake, write, garden…” “What do you write? And please tell me it’s something exciting.” Discord gave him a dry stare.  “Make something up, if you must.” “Philosophy.” Cookie returned the stare with the same lack of emotion. Discord motioned broadly to Cookie and turned to Luna. “Is this a prank?” She took a sip of her tea. “No, it is not.” “What does she see in him?” Discord said to Luna as a scroll appeared and unfurled next to her. Cookie could see that it was a list, ‘Pony? Male? Four legs? Breathing?’ and each had a checkmark next to it. He glared at Discord. Luna ignored it and raised her eyebrows. “He’s a baker. He bakes for her.” “Luna, please.” Discord rolled his eyes. “Most of the earth ponies in Equestria are bakers. Ponyville has a half a dozen bakers and one schoolteacher, which does explain a lot, now that I think about it... But the point is, if Celestia wanted a baker, she could find one more interesting than this.” Cookie cleared his throat. “I am sitting right here.” Discord suddenly appeared next to him and patted him on the head. “Yes, you are.” Cookie glared at him, but Discord was already back on the couch innocently sipping his tea. “He is the pony Celestia selected.” Luna shrugged. “And I understand he can be charming, in his way.” “I highly doubt that.” Discord gave a dismissive sweep of his head. Raising his eyebrows, Cookie took a drink. “I don’t set out to charm beings who shove their way into my house demanding tea.” “And it is not you or I who must be charmed by him,” Luna pointed out. “In all honesty, I think Celestia appreciates having a simple, informal escape from life at the palace, with good food and intelligent conversation. What you find dull is exactly what Celestia finds charming.” “Then Celestia is wrong.” Discord huffed and sat there pouting. “She really ought to consider other beings. I mean, how are we supposed to have tea with this?” He motioned to Cookie with his talon. “So, Discord.” Cookie narrowed his eyes and stared at the being. “I understand that you claim to be reformed.” Discord turned his head towards Cookie and blinked in mock confusion. “What? I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand you over the sound of pure banality. Or was that your voice?” Cookie took a sip of his tea. “That was contempt, not banality. But I understand it’s hard for narcissists to tell the difference.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Discord said as he admired himself in a small mirror. Raising an eyebrow, Cookie regarded him coolly. “Then you won’t mind telling me directly, how do you feel about the things you did to ponies before your reformation? Are you ashamed of yourself?” “Oh for goodness sake, it’s like another Celestia.” Discord rolled his eyes and a wig in Celestia’s gauzy rainbow colors appeared on his head. “Discord, remember things you did before; Discord, you have to have thoughts about the future; Discord, when you create a universe where life evolves, it’s ‘wrong’ to give all the creatures different moral codes and let them fight it out. Nag, nag, nag.” Cookie nodded. “Like Celestia, I’m concerned for the wellbeing of other ponies as a general matter, not just specific ones I like.” “You have noticed that I’m not a pony, right? I thought the handsome draconequus form gave it away.” Discord fluttered his eyelids sweetly at Cookie and was met with a dry glare. Then he shrugged and leaned back. “I don’t think like ponies, and expecting me to automatically have some kind of... morality that says ponies are equal to me isn’t really fair.” “Then you can no more be reformed than a tiger can be made a pet,” Cookie said with a frown. Discord raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never met Fluttershy, have you?” “I’ve not had the pleasure.” Cookie considered for a moment, then added, “But even if she has you under her control, she’s a mortal, and you are not.” Luna raised her eyebrows. “Perhaps that is something you should discuss with my sister.” Discord waved a dismissive paw. “Oh, Celestia already realizes that. She met with me the other day to ask what might happen when Fluttershy dies.” Cookie eyed him with suspicion. “She was the one who called the meeting?” “Yes,” Discord said with a serious expression and a solemn nod. “You see, I’m a very important being, so I’m often consulted on government matters.” “I’m sure.” Cookie said, a bit worried that one could drown in sarcasm. He took a sip of tea. “So, how did you respond?” A notebook appeared in Discord’s talon. “Well, I looked at my daily planner for the next century and…” The notebook turned into an accordion which promptly caught fire. “Oh darn, I hate when that happens.” The item vanished. “I am a being of chaos, not a being of things-happening-in-a-predictable-way.” Luna caught Cookie’s eye and shrugged. “He should be allowed points for honesty.” “I suppose…” He looked down at his tea, his brow furrowed. “When I last spoke to Celestia, she didn’t mention any concern over this.” Luna took a sip of her own tea, then hesitated a moment longer before she said, “Fluttershy is young and healthy. Who knows what may happen?” “Exactly!” Discord smiled. “I mean, you all are just assuming that Fluttershy is going to die someday.” Cookie froze as Discord’s words clicked into place. A suspicion crept into his mind, and a glance at Luna showed her trying unsuccessfully to keep from casting worried glances at him. Leaning forward, Cookie gave Discord his full attention. “I have a strange question for you. In your conversation, did Celestia ask you anything about your personal feelings for Fluttershy? If they’re deeper than friendship?” “No.” Discord’s tea cup appeared in his paw and he took a sip. “But she did ask if I’m capable of loving a pony.” Cookie raised an eyebrow. “Are you?” “I’m capable of anything except consistency.” The teacup in his paw shifted into a small pumpkin, but his expression didn’t change as he took a sip of something from it. “But you consistently care for Fluttershy?” Cookie pressed. Discord smirked as the pumpkin changed into a large pink butterfly. “Even my inconsistency isn’t consistent.” Cookie frowned, no longer looking at Discord but into the distance behind him. Luna shifted uncomfortably, the worry now plainly visible on her face. “Sma—Chocolate Chip, it may not be what you’re thinking.” “She didn’t mention this. None of it.” “Still, perhaps she didn’t want to worry you,”  Luna said gently. Cookie leveled a dark look at her. “And she asked if he can love strictly out of curiosity? I know how Celestia works, Luna.” “Trouble in the boring small town next to paradise?” Discord asked, a small, scraggly potted palm tree appearing next to him. Neither Luna nor Cookie paid him the slightest mind. Luna frowned. “She is Princess of Equestria, she must explore these matters.” “I know perfectly well she’s a blasted princess, but I trust her to be honest with me!” Cookie rose to his hooves and set his teacup on the coffee table with a clatter. He paced to the back of the room, then turned and gestured to Luna. “Do you think there are matters of state I’m not qualified to know?” “Of course not, but I think one can see by your reaction there might be matters you can’t consider objectively.” Luna raised an eyebrow and set her own cup carefully on the table. “This entire situation is one I can’t consider objectively, but I try my best, though it drives me mad!” Cookie stomped his hoof for emphasis, then returned to his pacing. “Celestia knows this, and yet since you spoke to me she’s done nothing but obfuscate the issue. Exactly how am I supposed to consider the issue objectively when she’s plying me with emotions in one direction while hiding information that may sway me against her wishes?!” “Celestia is manipulating you? I am shocked. You see? This is my shocked face.” Discord yawned, then let his face fall to an expression of sleepy boredom. Luna watched Cookie with a worried frown. “You must speak to her. Give her an opportunity to explain.” “Or at least cover her tracks,” Discord added, sweeping away a hoofprint that floated in the air. “Discord, hold your tongue,” Luna snapped. “You do not wish to meddle in these affairs.” Cookie gave a bitter laugh. “Oh, that’s rich coming from you, Luna.” Luna glared at Cookie. “Shall we explain the situation to him? I’m sure that would much improve matters for you.” He narrowed his eyes. “No, what would improve matters for me is if you all would leave me in peace. And on this matter, I include your sister.” “This concerns many beings now.” Luna shook her head. “You can not expect us to sit idle.” “Of course not.” Cookie gestured broadly. “What’s the use of having the power to pull down the stars if you’re not using it to toy with the fates of ponies?” “That’s what I’ve always thought,” Discord said with a shrug. Cookie snorted at him and shook his head, and then eyed Luna. “I’m beginning to think that’s why Celestia wanted you reformed; both of you make a fine addition to this mess.” “I am here for your well-being, but if you wish me to leave I assure you I can find far better things to do with my time.” Luna rose to her hooves, the cold, haughty expression on her face seeming all too familiar to Cookie. “Perhaps that’s best! It turns out there are far more insidious dangers to my sanity than this snake, which you’d prefer to encourage rather than defend against.” “Very well!” Luna started quickly for the door. “If you see Celestia, tell her I wish to speak with her! Urgently!” Cookie called after her, answered only by the slamming of the door. Discord rolled his eyes. “Well. Things were almost interesting there, for a moment. I’m glad that’s over.” Cookie resumed his pacing. “Oh, it isn’t over. Celestia has gone too far this time.” “Hmm?” Discord looked up from filing his talon. He disappeared and reappeared floating at Cookie’s side.  “I mean, clearly! I certainly wouldn’t stand for it, if I were you.” Cookie nodded. “This isn’t even a matter of politics. There are limits to how you can manipulate a pony you respect, and she has crossed those thoroughly.” “Have you met Celestia? You can tell she’s manipulating you when the sun is out.” Discord leaned in, whispering loudly, “I think she does it just to make ponies get out of bed.” Pausing, Cookie glared at Discord. “You are the last being I need here right now.” “Should I come back later with popcorn?” Discord said from a row of theater seats that had appeared along the front wall of the house. “No,” Cookie said crisply. “You should be imprisoned in a stone statue, and this entire situation should not be taking place. However, since my opinions seem to be increasingly irrelevant, I don’t give a blessed feather what you do.” Discord crossed his appendages. “I’m sensing some hostility.” “Your senses are finely tuned,” Cookie said, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t see why you’re mad at me.” Discord appeared in front of Cookie. “I just came over to meet you. It’s your special somepony who’s been hiding things from you. I’m not the bad guy, this time.” Cookie stared at the monster who had haunted his nightmares for so long, yet now seemed the least of his concerns. He nodded slowly. “You’re right.” Discord blinked at him. “That worked?” He shook his head and smiled. “Well, on that note, I think I’ll go before you change your mind.” In a puff of smoke Discord vanished, leaving Cookie alone with his unpleasant thoughts.