//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: Exit Interview // Story: The Invisible Alicorn // by McPoodle //------------------------------// Chapter 6: Exit Interview Teri was still watching pony episodes on her tablet when she heard the sounds of Luna’s hooves slowly descending the staircase behind her. She looked up to make sure that the windows were all covered, before turning to face Luna as she entered the kitchen. “Well?” the mother asked in a hushed voice. “You were in there for four hours. Did she tell you anything?” “Where’s your husband?” Luna asked, walking around the table before wearily lowering herself down into the same sitting position from earlier that night. “He tried to keep me company, so I drugged his soda when he wasn’t looking. He’s asleep on the couch.” Luna shook her head. “You head a bizarre family, Mrs. Randall.” “So, about Sara’s dream…?” Teri prompted. “I thought of another spell I can teach you. Would you like to learn it?” Teri sighed deeply. “Sure, why not?” “Alright,” Luna instructed her, crafting shadowy blue shapes around her. “Now raise your arms like this, like you’re conducting an invisible orchestra, and just imagine moving them like that. Yes, including those parts that would probably break two or three bones if you actually performed them. Now at the same time you are thinking of those motions, actually move them like this!” When Teri did what was asked of her, the whole room started lightly vibrating, causing a faint rumbling sound to fill the room, resolving into a building rattle. “What did you make me do?” she asked nervously. “Listen,” Luna instructed her. “That’s your own personal theme song.” Glasses, doors, the table, even Teri’s own teeth vibrated, all at different speeds, creating the illusion that a full orchestra was lurking in the kitchen just out of sight. And what this orchestra was playing was a march, somewhat rambling at first but then pushed forward inexorably by percussion, with upward flourishes in woodwinds and brass, ultimately recognizable as… “The Trade Federation March from The Phantom Menace,” Teri said with a groan. “Really? The theme song of the most pathetic villains ever?” “I don’t know, it sounds somewhat catchy out of context,” Luna said sympathetically. A quick flash of her horn and the musical rattling ceased, bringing an eerie quiet to the room. “Is there any way I can change it?” Teri asked. “Like how about a heroic theme?” “Hmm…possible, but hard.” She pointed at Teri’s tablet. “I changed mine once, but well…you saw what was required for that to happen.” Teri shook her head once more. “You changed the subject again. Can you tell me anything that happened in Sara’s dream?” Luna looked around her. “It’s very quiet this time of night. Have you no neighbors?” Teri sighed once again in defeat before addressing the question. “Yes, we do, but they are each several hundred feet away. The McKimson’s dogs used to keep me up at night, but that was before the Plague.” “‘The Plague’?” asked Luna with a raised brow. Teri looked down at her cold cup of coffee. “Look, how much do you actually know about the War on Terror?” Luna looked away for a moment. “There were a few days, right after Twilight opened the portal, when we stayed with a couple of humans and tried to habituate ourselves to your culture, mostly by watching their movie collection. In between, we asked them about all of the unusual things we saw in those films. The War was certainly discussed, especially after watching United 93. We didn’t speak long about it, and I do not recall any diseases coming up…although there was something about a lost pet that made them too emotional to speak.” Teri took the time while Luna answered to get up and microwave her tepid coffee back to life. “It’s kind of an emotional subject. Once I start, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to control my words. And you told me that your magic has limits as to how much is blocked from government eyes and ears.” “What if I told you that you were dreaming?” Luna asked, idly scraping a section of reality off of the wall next to her like it was frosting on a cake and sucking it into her mouth. Through the gap she created could be seen an infinite expanse of stars. As Teri gaped in disbelief, Luna raised her hoof back up and smoothed the dream world back into its former resemblance. Teri sighed in defeat. “Very well, the Plague—the short version, anyway.” She took a moment to compose herself. “So this was around the time of the Second Attack—the one that targeted the ‘heroes’ of Abu Ghraib during their ticker tape victory parade.” She looked up at Luna with a pained expression. “I hope you already know what happened there—I…I don’t really want to discuss that topic.” She looked deep into her coffee before continuing. “So, even though the bomb that went off killed dozens of people who had nothing to do with those crimes, there were those in this country who declared that this time the terrorists were in the right. There were protests, and counter-protests. There were flag burnings…and then the people who burned those flags were caught by the public and burned to death themselves.” She stopped for a while to collect herself while Luna fidgeted nervously. Steeling herself, Teri looked into Luna’s eyes as she continued. “The biological attacks came after that. Plague after plague after plague, each designed to wipe out the majority of the human race. You see, Al-Qaeda hated Western Civilization with a passion, so much so that they were willing to topple that civilization, to reduce us back to the Stone Age, because they were that confident that God would be on their side, that they would be the lone survivors, and then they could rebuild things back to how they were during the days of the caliphs. We scientists fought against every one of those plagues, found cures for them all, and most importantly, covered up every trace that they ever happened. Because we didn’t want to see Americans becoming as fanatical about exterminating them, as they were about exterminating us. “But there was one plague we missed, because it wasn’t aimed at us. Instead, it targeted the order Carnivora. Before we were able to catch it, every dog, cat and bear in the world was dead.” Teri’s eyes lost focus as she glanced towards the living room. “Also raccoons,” she added absently, “but I don’t think anybody really missed them. “There was no way to cover that up, and it really struck a nerve. It was during the election season, and the public’s passion for blood pushed the most irrational of candidates into the White House. Oh who am I kidding? My own Boo-Boo died in my arms with blood leaking from his eyes instead of tears, and I voted for the bastard just like everybody else. We wanted them to pay.” She took a sudden and long drink of her coffee then. “We refused to fight the war on their terms before,” she said in a dull voice, all emotion forced out of it. “They wanted a total war, a war to destroy the world. Well, under our new president, we gave it to them. His predecessors had used the end of the Cold War to replace every weather and communication satellite in orbit, secretly arming all of them with the latest weapons of mass destruction that only they could control. This was done just in case the Soviet Union ever came back from the dead. None of those ex-presidents thought that those weapons would ever end up in the hands of anybody crazy enough to use them. But he did. He won the War on Terror, by using his microwave cannons and army of surgical drones to commit unspeakable atrocities. And all without ever deploying a single American troop overseas. That was his campaign promise: he’d win the war, and nobody who voted for him would ever be forced to kill an enemy if he didn’t want to.” “May I interrupt with a question?” Luna asked in a shell-shocked voice. Teri shrugged and drank some more coffee. “What’s the minimum voting age in your country?” “Eighteen. Why do you ask?” “I wanted to be sure. I guess he did keep his promise. So what about your armed forces? The ones he wasn’t using to fight this war?” “I think soldiers made the President nervous—he never allowed himself to be photographed or filmed next to one. Maybe because of the respect we give them—if a soldier, or even an ex-soldier came out and denounced what he was doing, maybe more people would have opposed him. As it is, the active duty armed forces in this country have been steadily reduced, until they practically don’t exist anymore. All under the rationale that the drones and satellites have such advanced A.I. that they never make mistakes, and will never be guilty of sparing an enemy out of mercy. As a matter of fact,” she added, rubbing her chin, “I don’t think I can remember the last time I’ve even seen a veteran on the street. I suppose that’s a bad sign. Any other questions?” “Just one: what about the other nations? The ones who were neutral in this war. Did they do nothing to stop your president?” “When they protested, he turned the same kind of barbarism towards them as well. The United Nations was dissolved—literally, he melted the building into slag. I’ll leave it to you to imagine the collateral damage to New York City, where the U.N. was hosted. Like many of his worst crimes, there was little to no protest in this country. Those who believed that the U.N. sought to enslave the world, and who thought that New York City was far too high and mighty for its own good rejoiced; the rest of us remained silent. “Assassination attempts over the years—all unsuccessful of course—have led to many of the world’s most-beloved monuments being destroyed in retaliation. At this point, the world is basically waiting for him to drop dead, and the rest of America to come to its senses.” Luna shook her head slowly in despair. “So what happened after the War ended?” “Then the protests finally started again. He picked a little town called Santa Clarita on the Mexican border, and turned America’s full weaponry against it, on live television.” Teri was a little surprised that this latest revelation had no effect on the mare. “Your daughter saw that broadcast.” It was now Teri’s turn to gasp. “But she’s so young!” “She’s older than you think,” Luna said. “I think I can figure out most of the rest of how this country came to its current state. And why your leader still retains his office after all that he has done.” “Oh, I think we could have overthrown him if we really wanted to,” Teri said. “What you need to understand is why so many of us remained loyal to him, even after it became obvious that he was completely insane. 9/11, and especially the Plague, struck an old nerve. The one that has us believing that we’re better than everybody else, that God helped give birth to America against the might of the greatest empire in history, and that we and we alone are God’s chosen people. Also, and I’m pretty sure this is a character flaw that ponies don’t share, but we have a bad habit of doubling down when the beliefs we secretly feel the most guilty about are challenged by outsiders, like with the South in the Civil War. It was only when he started turning against Americans who didn’t happen to live in New York City that most of us finally woke up to realize we had voted our freedom away. So most people responded with denial, by retreating into reality television, gamer culture, internet snarking…whatever was necessary to get out of this world and into one where we didn’t have to face our responsibility for making this mess we’re stuck in now.” Teri shrugged helplessly. “So yes, it’s my fault too, because I voted for him.” She squeezed her eyelids shut. “But damnit, that doesn’t mean that my daughter has to suffer for my sins!” she yelled, finally letting her emotions bubble to the surface. “Can’t you do something for her? Take her to Equestria, let her live in a world without this madness.” Luna hung her head and shook it sadly. “No, Teri.” “Look, I won’t tell anybody. You don’t have to bring anyone else in. If I can at least accomplish this, then my life…our lives…humanity, won’t turn out to be a total failure. When this world finally blows itself to Kingdom Come, at least one human will survive!” “No, Teri.” In a sudden move, Teri stood up and flipped the table to the side, then sunk down on her knees before the Princess and pleaded. “Why? Why can’t you save just one child?” “Because she’d never survive there,” Luna said sadly. “What, because of the vegetarianism? Is the magic fatal to humans?” “No, there’s nothing physical to stop her from living there. But Equestria is not a fit place for humans.” Teri pointed at the toppled table, and the corner of her tablet that peaked out from the wreckage. “But you said the series was true. And that this world is an alternate reality to Equestria. That means we are essentially the same, right? That humans and ponies are counterparts of each other.” Luna frowned. “Not on this world. Teri, you said the Plague took away all the cats and dogs. Surely humanity found replacements for them?” “Well…sure,” Teri said, not sure where this line of questioning was going. “We developed genetic manipulations to increase the intelligence and friendliness of any mammal we wanted. “Now you might think that chimps and gorillas would be the natural first choice for experimentation, since they are so intelligent already. Luckily, some of us remembered the first Planet of the Apes series, so we neatly avoided that little genocidal trap. No, we settled on a much safer pair of animals: pot-bellied pigs and Shetland po…” “Yes?” Luna asked with a predatory glint in her eye. “Shit,” Teri exclaimed under her breath. “You know,” Luna said, getting up to stretch her legs, “maybe my sister is right. Maybe we shouldn’t waste our time on a time period that clearly is too busy self-destructing itself to want to have anything to do with us. It’s possible for us to visit the same world more than once you know—it just has to be later than when we left. Maybe we should come back in five hundred years, when I’m sure a more amiable species will be in charge of the planet.” “Look, you can’t be so heartless,” Teri pleaded. “You’ve seen my daughter’s dream; you know how much she is suffering. Even if she won’t tell me the details, I can see that much. Just take her to Equestria. According to the cartoon, that place is a paradise.” “Perhaps a paradise for ponies,” Luna said with a half-smile, “but certainly not for humans. “Ponies are herd animals, Teri. Humans, at least the ones I have met, are fiercely individualistic. And I understand that—spending a thousand years with only a genocidal maniac for company gives one an intense appreciation for individuality. And that is not how Equestria works. “In Equestria, everypony has their own cutie mark, which gifts them with the precise skills which make them most useful to the collective. And that is the end of individuality allowed to them. A unicorn that acts too different from other unicorns, a pegasus that is too un-pegasus, or an earth pony that attempts a profession scorned by other earth ponies, will be punished by her or his peers. And that punishment will never let up until the pony changes or dies. The needs of the herd will always override the needs of the individual pony. And if you’re not a pony, then you are a second-class citizen. Not to mention that your penchant for casual violence is completely unacceptable in pony society.” Teri got up and rolled her eyes. “I think you’re perhaps describing more the pony society you left a thousand years ago than the one shown in the series,” she countered. “Humans face plenty of ostracism for being different as well, you know, and we manage to survive, even if it takes a few scars to get through it.” Luna bit on the edge of a hoof as she thought. “How can I make this clear to you…?” she muttered. Noticing the hoof for the first time, she quickly brought it back to the ground. “Alright,” she finally said. “You saw United 93. Imagine the scenario at the end of that movie. The plane hijacked by terrorists is on target for some morally-devastating target in your nation’s capital, perhaps the White House or Capitol Building. Imagine you’re one of those passengers that have realized that, and have jointly decided to attack the cockpit of that plane, regardless of consequences. “Now imagine that some human analog of me is there as well. I have magic, but not that much of it. I make a counter-proposal, the only thing my magic can do that can possibly improve our odds. What I propose is that I take over the minds of everyone who is going to make the assault. With this control I can coordinate the attack, guaranteeing that the terrorists will be incapacitated and that you will be able to regain control of the plane. The terrorists can then be tried for what they did and what they tried to do and every one of you will survive to tell the tale. Do you take up my offer? Oh, and I have to mention an unavoidable side-effect of the spell is that I will absorb and retain all of your memories, no matter how embarrassing. All of your secrets will become mine, but I promise not to tell a soul a single one of them for the rest of my immortal life. Do you take me up on your offer, or do you continue with what you know in your hearts is a certain suicide attack to protect America’s dignity?” Teri shook her head incredulously. “I…I can’t possibly take that offer. My private thoughts are the only part of me that I truly own, the only place were even the President cannot invade. And then to throw mind control on top of it. What kind of monster would engage in something like that?” “Me, Teri Randall,” Luna said, getting into the mother’s face. “If the events of that movie occurred with pony protagonists, that is exactly what I would do, and I would be celebrated for it when the plane safely landed. I am a Princess, and a pony princess protects her herd, uses her herd as necessary to guarantee their happiness. It is a right explicitly delegated to every pony princess, and one that all of us have used before, even if the events were perhaps a bit too squeamish to document in an episode meant for children. Even in the episode where Twilight was punished by Celestia for using mind control on the ponies of Ponyville, the crime held against her was not what she did, but the pettiness of her motives in using it. “And I’ll tell you another thing. If the events had gone in Equestria the way they did in the movie and reality…well first, the pegasai and myself at the very least would have survived. So let’s say that the passengers survived, but the plane crashed and the terrorists died. Do you know what would have happened? There would be a public uproar, not about the intended attack, but the fact that I failed to save the terrorists.” “Seriously?” asked Teri. “But of course,” replied Luna. “In Equestria, there is no such thing as absolute evil. Everyone can be reformed. If they don’t feel like reforming right now, then we’ll turn them to stone or send them to Tartarus for a few centuries, and then we’ll bring them back and try again. And again. Until they are reformed. It doesn’t matter what the scale of the crime is, it will be forgiven.” “Well, what about the justice system?” “There is no justice system in Equestria, not as you define the term. If a crime rises to the level that a princess must be involved, then the princess decides on a path of reform or imprisonment followed by reform. Otherwise, it’s up to the pony in question to punish themselves. And they always punish themselves. To do otherwise, to believe that you are above punishment, results in the only fatal punishment known to Equestria: total rejection by the herd. Most ponies die within a year once that happens. Again, something that separates ponies from humans. “There is one other thing. I said that magic was not fatal to humans. But that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have an effect. “The primary form of magic practiced in Equestria is harmony magic. The use of harmony magic engenders in the user and those around her feelings of harmony and good will. Furthermore, harmony magic is powered by friendship, among other factors.” “So magic is mind control as well?” Teri asked incredulously. “It’s not as strong as the kind of magic a princess can wield. But it is pervasive and insidious, at least to anybody who has a problem with having their mind manipulated. It can be resisted, but it’s hard, and you basically have to become a hermit. “As for dark magic, well the show has made it very clear that that type of magic has its own effect on the caster, leading to paranoia and megalomania.” “So basically you’re saying that Sara can either live here, where her only freedom is inside her own mind, or in Equestria, where the only freedom she will never have is the ability to trust her own thoughts.” “Basically.” “I still think you’re underestimating us,” Teri insisted. “Even under all of those pressures, I’m confident that I would never betray my core values.” Teri suddenly woke up to the sound of dragonfly wings buzzing in her ear. “It was her!” Teri screamed in panic, pointing at Luna, who was seated exactly where she was in her dream. “She’s the one who forced me to speak those words! Punish her instead of me!” And then she realized that the buzzing was coming from an actual dragonfly hovering right outside the open kitchen window. “The Trade Federation March,” Luna said in disgust. “Your perfect theme song.” Teri groaned, and sunk her head into her arms. “Fine. You’ve definitively proven that I don’t deserve to go to Equestria. Now can you offer me any hope whatsoever?” Luna smiled. “Ah, you have finally asked the right question. Pay attention to the morning news—around nine or ten am. Take the day off, both of you.” “And Sara?” “Let her go to school. It will be her chance to teach everyone else for once.”