“Okay, um…. Hi, me, in the future….ugh, I’m shit at these things.
This is… a journal of sorts. Why I deigned to indulge Twilight’s request is a debate for someone far smarter than me, so I’m just going to say that I caved in, and now I’m writing in this silly little book.
So yeah, here goes. It’s the start of my second week here, and I just realized that in spite of everything, I’m somehow not going bat-shit crazy. You’d think that crossing between some sort of dimensional barrier and being transformed into some weird amalgamation of a fairy, a dragonfly and a pony would drive one insane, but surprisingly, I haven’t been. The introduction of both magic and talking animals has also failed to drive me insane. The sudden lack of fingers has not driven me insane. The sudden quadruped status has failed to drive me insane. There is only one conclusion: I’m already nuts! Why else would all this not be driving me crazy? If this little theory of mine is right, I’m probably drooling out of the corner of my mouth in a lovely cushioned room somewhere and wearing a hug-yourself-jacket. If it isn’t, I have no idea
what’s going on. It’s just so unbelievable, right? A world ruled by colourful ponies who use magic and technology, and just so happen to be in possession of a magical mirror that leads to yet another world? If someone came up to me in the street saying any of it, I’d write them off as
having a massive drug trip or having just woken up from a fever dream.
Well, at least the company is nice so far. The ponies I’ve met all seem to be decent sort. Fluttershy’s adorable, Twilight’s a-dork-able, Rainbow is a bit of a jerk, (but I can understand why), Applejack lives up to her title of Element of Honesty, Rarity is prim, proper and very much the epitome of fashionable businesswoman… um, business mare, and Pinkie Pie….. is…. Pinkie Pie.
If this is some crazed imagining of my mind, it’s pleasant enough. While it’s all alien and strange, it’s also… safe, and vibrant. All the colours look brighter here, brighter here, and everyone is so much more inviting and welcoming than back home.
Home. As much as this place is amazing and wonderful, it just isn’t home. Home is cars, and skyscrapers, corrupt politicians and underfunded medical agencies, over-enthusiastic sports fans and people who dress up in costumes when they go to events held by their favorite shows.
Home, and all the people there, are a paradox, and it’s what I know. It’s what I am…. I don’t belong here, even if I wanted to, I just don’t.
Anyway, on a brighter note, I’m living with Fluttershy and her demon pet, Angel, (Biggest misnomer ever!), who seems determined to make my life a living hell whilst I’m living in the same house as him. Flutters is more than nice. I have to admit to accidentally knocking over a vase, yesterday, that was a housewarming gift from her mother. Twilight was able to fix it no problem, but not before I spent the better part of an hour begging Fluttershy to forgive me for being such a clumsy doof. She never even considered harsh words, just told me I had nothing to apologize for…
I’m not sure I deserved such an easy let off, but I’ll take it for now. I’ll have to remember to repay her in some way for everything she and her friends have done for me so far. I got a letter from the changeling hive yesterday. It was addressed to me from King Thorax. So….apparently, as a Changeling, I’m now the subject of the new King, at least until I can go home. I barely remember him from when I first came here, but he seemed nice enough, though I’m not sure what I think about all this “royal subject” stuff. Even for the changeling, life is crazy, so adding me into the mix isn’t helping at all. I’ve somehow wound up coming to a new world and joining a species right after they’ve just gone through a revolution, which means not one of them knows what the hell to do, not even the King, which just leaves me to flounder along as well. It could take years, according to Twilight, for the Changelings to sort themselves out and repair the damage done by their former leader, Queen Chrysalis. (If this isn’t all some cooky fantasy of my deluded brain, then she’s the reason why I’m here! That BITCH!!)
….Going back to the fantasy theory…. None of this feels like a dream. It feels real. And I’ve already gotten hurt several times…. Doesn’t that usually wake you up from a dream? Would it jolt you out of a hallucination or delusion? I don’t know. Again, another question for people that are smarter than me.
Pinkie Pie’s planned a party for me. I don’t know when she’s gonna leap out at me, covered in confetti and streamers, or where, but I know it’s coming. That won’t stop it from scaring the living crap out of me, but there you go. That’s Pinkie Pie.
On another note….My eating habits are weird. I haven’t had to… answer nature’s call at any point since I got here, and every piece of actual food I’ve eaten is still just sitting in what passes for my stomach these days. Who knows what that’s gonna do, but it’s certainly making me feel bloated. I can feel my stomach shifting every now and again, and it makes me want to throw up when it does. I’m gonna have to ask about this. Twilight’s already promised to send any questions I might have to my new King, so I’ll be writing a letter about all the questions I have so far.
I’d better get going now. Fluttershy’s taking me into town so that we can pick up some things for both me, and the animals. Applejack payed me for helping out the other day, so I’m gonna see if I can get Fluttershy something as a thank you for letting me stay with her.
This is Allan the bug-horse, signing off.”
********************
Setting the quill down, Allan picked up his blue cloak in his mouth, then spat it out upon remembering he had magic, and promptly tied it around his neck, being careful not to go too tight over the trio of crystalline ovals that protruded slightly from his neck. He turned away from the writing desk, only to realize he’d left the cover off of his ink well. After correcting that oversight, Allan smiled slightly at his writing, which was far neater than his old handwriting, and trotted out of the room. A quick trot carried him through the upstairs hall and down the stairs brought him to Fluttershy, who was waiting for him by the front door. She seemed a little irritated by something, but she kept her smile warm when she looked at him.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Almost. Just one more thing.” Allan said, before bringing up the image of the earth pony he had created for his work on the farm. A brief flash of flame and he felt the weight of his mid length mane and tail. The breeze through his coat felt amazing, as it had before. He had spent a little time practicing, and now he was fairly confident he could put on and take off the disguise at a moments notice. “Okay, ready. Let’s go.”
The walk was lovely, the sun falling through the trees that lined the path into town in a marvelous display of light and shadow. The leaves rustled in the wind, creating a melody that whispered to the two as they trotted. Birds chirped and cartwheeled about overhead, and little
woodland animals, squirrels and rabbits and other things, ran about, some scurrying around Fluttershy, who greeted them all with smiles and loving words. Ponyville practically shone in the sunshine, and Allan could see all the ponies in the streets, strolling about at their own leisurely pace, going about their days without a care in the world. Above that, was Twilight Sparkle’s huge castle, the crystal structure gleaming in the morning sun.
The pair trotted down the hill, with Allan telling Fluttershy about the pet store he’d volunteered at during the previous summer. She particularly enjoyed him telling her of a particularly troublesome puppy who had given the stores employees a good amount of exercise when it had escaped from it’s cage and run around the store, thinking it a game. Allan’s friends had arrived partway through and were laughing at the spectacle from their arrival and until the chase ended. Allan had triumphantly nabbed the puppy when it had gone running past him. For his effort, he had received a barrage of puppy licks on his face and arms, a gift for which he had no complaint.
Fluttershy laughed at his over exaggeration of the dastardly plot of the little dog to escape, and she giggled at Alan's dramatic reenactment of his victory.
By the time he finished, the pair had reached the entrance to Ponyville. It wasn’t marked, like Allan would have thought, and ponies didn’t seem to care that there was no wall or defined border.
Allan gulped, a little nervous of going into town without the protection of his cloak’s hood, which remained down, leaving his face uncovered. Fluttershy moved easily past him, giving little waves to any pony that looked their way. There were curious stares directed in Alan's direction, but none of them were hostile or judgemental… well, most weren’t. One rather uptight looking pony with a pink coat and a purple mane stared at him from across the street as they moved closer to the town center, and her stare was hard enough to cut diamonds.
Allan promptly looked away from her, feeling those horrible, glaring orbs boring pits into the back of his skull.
Fluttershy led him right to the market, allowing Allan his first hooves-on experience of pony society. Venders and shoppers chatted as old friends in front of the booths that stood in both clusters and rows. Fluttershy navigated through them, taking time to move around the oblivious or the unconcerned individuals who stood in her way. She stopped at one particular booth, one stocked full
of vegetables.
“Good morning.” She greeted the booth owner politely. “Could I get some of your lovely lettuce, tomatoes and some carrots please?”
“Why of course. That’ll be….” The sales pony, a mare, watched as Fluttershy counted out how much of each she needed, before she gave a total. “Seventeen bits.”
Allan cocked his head, looking at the various signs that were hung behind the counter. Fluttershy had picked up four tomatoes, one head of lettuce, and eight carrots. The signs said that the tomatoes were two bits per three tomatoes, the lettuce was five bits a head, and that the carrots were a bit each. That was still only fifteen and … just about two thirds. Even rounding up would leave that at sixteen. He was about to interject when Fluttershy spoke up for herself.
“Um… I don’t mean to be rude, but shouldn’t it be sixteen? I only picked up four tomatoes.”
The store clerk looked alarmed, turned her head to read her signs, then scrutinized Fluttershy’s intended purchase again, before turning an apologetic smile the yellow mares way. “I’m so sorry, my dear! I nearly made you pay too much. Here….” She put another two tomatoes onto the pile. “....have these, no extra charge.”
Allan nearly fainted. Businesses here were… mostly, honest? That was a dream come true!!
Fluttershy gave her thanks to the vendor before moving on. Allan followed after, trotting up beside her.
“How’d you do that?” He asked, mouth still hanging partially open.
“Do what?” She asked back, quickly exchanging coins and produce with another vender, putting a bundle of broccoli into her saddlebag.
“You just got a vender who was trying to swindle you to admit she was wrong, and give you free stuff! How did you do that?”
“Oh… that... “ Fluttershy rubbed the back of her left forehoof with her right one. “I was just a little assertive.”
“Assertive?”
“Yes… you can be assertive without being rude or overbearing. I learned that the hard way.”
Fluttershy moved off, leaving Allan to wonder just how different Earth could be if more people had learned that lesson themselves.
Noticing that he was about to be left behind, Allan dashed off after Fluttershy before he lost sight of her. The changeling had just about caught up with her when Fluttershy turned around a corner. He moved to follow, only for the judgemental mare that he had seen outside the market to suddenly appear in front of him, too quickly for him to stop. He collided with the mare, but he was going relatively slowly, so the collision between the two was little more than a tiny bump.
The mare turned her cold gaze on him as he stammered an apology.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” She demanded, her tone portraying her arrogance and sense of entitlement to the point of being grating.
“I-I-I’m so sorry, miss. I didn’t-”
“I don’t care about your excuses. You could have hurt me!” The mare snapped. “What have you got to say for yourself?”
Allan tried to respond, but the mare was having none of it. “Well? Have you lost your wits as well as your sense?”
Allan couldn’t get a word in because of that. She kept going on, stopping him from actually managing to say a word. She just kept demanding an answer and spitting insults at him. “But- I just- I’m sorr- I didn’t mean-” Allan repeatedly tried to answer, but the mare did nothing but constantly demean him. “Please- I just- will you- stop- stop-STOP!!”
“Who even are you anyway? I don’t recognize you. You aren’t from Ponyville. Where are you from? Don’t they teach you manners there? Do you-”
Thankfully, before she could go on, a voice interceded on his behalf. “Spoiled Rich! If I could just talk to you for a moment, I have some news from Canterlot that you just must hear!”
Allan breathed a sigh of relief as Rarity came to his rescue. As she managed to draw the mare, Spoiled Rich, away from him, Allan saw his friend look back over her shoulder, her gaze apologetic. Whether or not she knew it was him was irrelevant. Either way, he would have to thank her later. He was gonna have to pay a lot of ponies back, at this rate. Allan marched quickly around the corner, hoping to find Fluttershy waiting for him close by.
Unfortunately, Fluttershy was long gone. No matter where Allan looked, he just couldn’t see her, leaving him alone amid a curious crowd of onlookers who knew he wasn’t a local. He could hear them muttering about him, about how he seemed so shy, and how nasty Spoiled Rich was. Even though they didn’t say anything mean spirited, it still made Allan feel overcrowded, and the bitter taste of too many emotions lingered in his mouth. He was just about to turn around and head back to the exit of the market when he was stopped by a piping voice.
“Well howdy, mister Allan!”
Allan turned to the source, to see Apple Bloom standing there, her big red bow standing half-skewed on her head. One of her ears was half-cocked too, and her big eyes made her look like a puppy.
“Oh… hey Apple Bloom. What are you doing here?” He swept the crowd with his eyes, looking for Applejack’s familiar hat and ponytail combo, and for Big Mac’s shaggy mop of sandy hai- mane. “Where are your brother and sister? You aren’t here alone are you?”
“Nope. I ain’t here alone. I’m with my friends, the-” Apple Bloom broke off, as two other fillies about her age sprang up from nowhere to join her.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS! YEAH!!” The three yelled, drawing annoyed stares and making nearby eyes roll. The two other fillies were a Unicorn and a Pegasus, both with shield-like cutie marks that looked almost identical to Apple Bloom’s. The Unicorn filly had a piping voice and a carefully brushed and maintained mane style, and the Pegasus had ruffled feathers and a messy mop of purple hair that seemed to be emulating Rainbow Dash’s.
“Well then, Apple Bloom, are you going to introduce me?” Allan asked.
“Sure as the bow on mah head, I am!” She said, clopping her forehooves together. Gesturing to the little white Unicorn, whose lovely silvery-white coat made her resemble a little marshmallow with legs. She reminded Allan of Rarity a bit, though she seemed to be far more rambunctious. “This is Sweetie Belle.”
“Hello!” Sweetie Belle chirped.
“And this is Scootaloo.” Apple Bloom waved at the orange Pegasus.
“Sup!” Scootaloo had a similarly scratchy sounding voice to Rainbow Dash as well. Were they sisters?
“Sweetie Belle is Rarity’s little sister, and Scootaloo is Rainbow Dash’s biggest fan!”
Ah. That explained that.
“She might as well be Dash’s little sister!”
Welp. She said it. Allan failed to stop the smile from emerging on his face.
“So what do you guys do around here? Besides look adorable?” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle seemed to appreciate the compliment, but Scootaloo looked a little put out by being called ‘cute’.
“Before we got our Cutie Marks, we used to go crusadin’ around town, tryin’ to find our special talents.” Apple Bloom explained.
“But whenever we stopped doing that, we ended up helpin’ other ponies do things that mattered to them, and find their true talents!” Sweetie Belle chimed in.
“Yeah! And then we realized that was more important, and promised to help other ponies with their talents from then on!”
“That’s when we got our Cutie Marks! So now that’s what we do! We go and find ponies who need our help with their talents, and we help ‘em! But today, we’re just havin’ fun! Right girls?” Apple Bloom spoke again.
“Yeah, we were just passing through here on our way to the lake. We were gonna go swimming.” Sweetie Belle explained.
“Unsupervised?” Allan asked, a little worried that three young girls could just be left to their own devices like that.
“We’re never unsupervised these days.” Scootaloo huffed, blowing some of her mane out of her eyes. “All of ponyville knows to keep an eye on us wherever we go, so even if we go someplace with nopony around, we’ll still have an older pony nearby to watch us. Sometimes, we even play a game where we try to spot whoever it is following us!”
Allan chuckled, the tension of Spoiled Rich slowly leaving him. These three were perhaps the cutest things he’d ever seen. And to know what they wanted from such young ages… If he’d known what he wanted to do with his life at that age, he wouldn’t have been volunteering at the pet store, or having been living in an apartment while he was between jobs.
“Well then. If I ever need help with my special talent, I know the three little fillies I’ll go to.” That earned him some whoops of celebration from all three.
“Say, mister. What is your special talent?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I can’t see your Cutie Mark, because of this cloak you’re wearing. Did my sister make this?”
“Yes she did. But, uh, I’d appreciate you not looking under it just now.” Allan quickly turned around so that his cloak was out of reach. “I’ll show you later. Right now, I need to find Fluttershy. I was supposed to be shopping with her, but we got separated. I’ll see you later.”
Allan started to walk away, hooves softly tapping on the ground, but the thundering of twelve little hooves on the ground stopped him, the Crusaders suddenly appearing in front of him.
“We’ll help you look for her!” They exclaimed. “We can find her!!” Without another word, they sped off, all in different directions, after exchanging a glance. The speed at which they went streaking away made Allan yelp out in startled terror at the large plumes of dust the three left behind.
The Changeling looked back and forth, trying to track them all, seeing them dash in and out of different pathways in the market, each time getting further away from him. He was unsuccessful. The little figures, brightly coloured as they were, blended in too well with the other market-goers, leaving Allan to flounder behind them, once again left alone.
“Sigh….” Allan let his head hang a little lower. “This is just me. Alone, again…….. Naturally...”
Starting to walk off in the direction he’d last seen Fluttershy, hoping the gentle pegasus was still close by. He trotted up and down the rows of booths, looking now, for both Fluttershy, and the Crusaders.
Allan searched on his own, as the Crusaders charged about. He saw them frequently, but their manic pace and unpredictable turns made it impossible for him to follow them, or intercept them. He had no idea how long he and Fluttershy had been separated, but it had to be pushing half an hour, and trying to keep track of the crusaders was taking up too much effort.
Instead, he gave up trying to keep track of the fillies, instead searching for Fluttershy himself. He finally spotted the mare, leaving the market, a worried expression on her face. She was worrying about him again, which made him feel guilty, and rather like an invalid. He was so useless.
He trotted after her, the distance between them shrinking rapidly.
“Hey.” He called, as he drew up beside her, making her jump a little in fright before she recognized the disguise. “Sorry if I scared you back there, I got a little-” He never finished his sentence, as Fluttershy gasped, then whirled around and began to
smother him in a crushing embrace.
“I’m so sorry I let you get lost!” She sounded relieved. “I thought you were right behind me, but then I looked back and you weren’t there. What happened?” She pushed him back, enough to gaze into his eyes.
“I got held up in the crowd. I’m not all that agile yet, so it was harder than I thought it would be. When I tried catching up, I ran into this uptight mare.” Allan put a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder, trying to be reassuring. “Rarity interrupted her, said her name was Spoiled Rich, or something like that.”
“Oh, her….” Fluttershy trailed off. She looked away, her eyes flitting over a stall of pomegranates. “She’s only gotten worse since Diamond Tiara stopped listening to her.”
“Diamond Tiara?” Allan queried. “Who’s that?”
Fluttershy proceeded to tell him, in great detail, about Diamond Tiara, her bullying of the crusaders, her eventual reformation and how she had turned her back on her mother, Spoiled Rich.
Allan couldn’t imagine how hard that must be, to have your own daughter rebel against you like that, but having met her, Allan could see why somepony would rebel. “Sounds pretty brutal.” He said, after Fluttershy had finished her little exposition. “But I can
see why it happened. Guess the kid just had enough of being treated like a snobby bully.” He looked to Fluttershy. “I must admit to having been in a similar spot, once.”
Fluttershy’s eyes went wide. “You were a bully?”
“Oh, no. Definitely not. Nah, I was a very…. Energetic, rambunctious boy. I got into trouble for it. Drama queen, unfocused, distracted, delusional. I got called all of those by my teachers, especially when I got older.” Allan looked away, to the distant mountain that held the city of
Canterlot aloft. “Eventually, I just got tired of it. I just went along with what they said. It was better than being called all those things.” Alan's eyes refocused, and caught Fluttershy staring at him with a flinty glare. “Um…. Fluttershy? What’s wrong?”
“They did that to a foal?” She almost spat the words. “How could they be so cruel?”
“That’s not cruel.” Allan protested. “It helped me focus and learn. Behaving like that was an improvement.”
Fluttershy’s glare did not waver, and she fell silent, not responding to any more questions.
Allan followed suit, not daring to provoke her ire any further.
******************
The moon was once again high in the sky, and Allan lay in bed. He felt wretched. His stomach felt like it was doing somersaults, gurgling frequently. The urge to blow chunks grew with each convulsion of the muscular organ, an urge which Allan was finding increasingly more difficult to ignore.
He and Fluttershy hadn’t spoken much since the marketplace, which helped Allan in exactly no ways at all. The walk back to the cottage had been silent, full of tense body language and brief, sidelong glances. Why was she even mad at him? He didn’t understand. The mare was angry at him because…. He was too energetic and needed to learn control?
Either way, it just made feeling sick worse, having that on his mind. The roiling sensation of his stomach, coupled with the tumultuous thoughts in his head made vomiting seem like a nice idea. Trying, and failing to keep himself quiet, Allan sidled over to the door, opening it as silently as he could manage. He peered down to the hall, making sure that he didn’t wake up Fluttershy. Tip-toeing down the hallway, he made his way to the bathroom, feeling his rebelling stomach flip-flop around inside his chest cavity. Being part bug sometimes felt really gross, especially when you knew some insect anatomy.
He looked over to the toilet, a rather alien contraption compared to what he was used to, designed to fit ponies, not humans. The bile building in his throat reached the point of no return, forcing the changeling to nearly rip the cover off of the equine considering bowl, so that he could quite violently spew the remains of his previous week’s worth of food into the plumbing. The relief he felt at emptying his overloaded gut was so satisfying that he let out a pleasured sigh once he stopped his vomiting.
Wiping his mouth with his hoof, he opened his eyes, having had them closed the entire time. The bright, glowing goo that was now liberally smeared across the chitin of his foreleg greeted his eyes brightly, and he stared at the gunk, before taking a peek into the toilet bowl.
A mass of softly glowing, bright green, jelly-like substance, which greatly resembled what Allan had always pictured atomic waste looked like, sat in Fluttershy’s toilet, plastering the bowl’s edges and completely obscuring the lower parts of the ceramic bowl. It was filled with emotional
energy, much of it gathered in the market earlier that day.
Allan continued to stare at it, until his wits finally caught up to his confused brain and slapped it back into functionality. “Uh, Fluttershy…?”
***********************