“You were saying?” I heard Loony cockily say. I was still blinking my eyes free of cake, but could still make a vein out that twitched dangerously on Cake Butt’s forehead. A head that was erupting in a flaming inferno.
My head quickly staggered a bit back on this cake platter that I was now on. I really have to curse my luck right now.
And Murphy.
Considering I just escaped and am now at Cake Butt’s mercy after destroying another cake… Things seemed better yesterday.
Luckily enough Loony stepped in before Cake Butt could get out her hammer to crush me.
“Calm thyself sister. This is a reason to celebrate after all,” her lunatic sister stated before she sighed forlornly, “Though we wished that we would hath gotten the opportunity to get in on the hunt…”
The older of the two sighed as she calmed herself enough for her flaming mane to subside.
“Yes. You are right. His punishment has to wait. As for now we need the Elements first. And now that we are talking about where are they?” Cake Butt asked looking at the bounty hunter before them.
“What are you looking at me?” she simply stated, not getting what they were talking about, and who could blame her. I doubt they wrote that down on my bounty after all.
“The Elements. Buggy here had a sack with these valuable jewels. Where are they?”
“Listen. I have no bucking clue. He didn’t have any sack when I found him in that forest.”
Cake Butt narrowed her eyes dangerously, “Lying will be punished severely. So are you quite sure? Or do I have to help your memory?”
That threat was enough for that damned bounty hunter to cross her arms under her chest. A chest as small as it was that was still bigger than loli Cake Butt’s. Heh.
She was also despite that position still balancing me on her shoulders interestingly enough. It showed at least that despite being a coward she still had some skill. At least then it came to balancing things.
“I already told you! I mean, the bounty was only about this clown, right? And he didn’t have anything with him! Heck if I know what he did with your crown jewels.”
I snorted, causing Celestia to glare at me. A glare that was scrutinizing and calculating, trying to find the answer to find her *snort* 'crown jewels'.
“…I see,” Cake Butt frowned as she let out a rather annoyed sigh, “This complicates this situation. The Elements need to be found immediately.“
Loony only nodded, “We agree. Tis be best if we ask our dear Captain what happened to them.”
With that both of the Butt’s eyes turned to me. The Cake one hereby glaring a hole in me. Luckily a coughing sound drew their attention back to the bounty hunter who tapped her hoof on the floor impatiently.
“Yo. I’m not meaning to be impolite but what about my reward?”
“Ah, yes. Your reward,” Cake Butt said as she levitated a pouch probably filled with some nice gold bits judging by the jingling in her yellow aura and threw them straight at the bounty hunter who catched it in her hands.
She then opened the pouch to check the content, but her muzzle quickly turned into a scowl as she seemed to count the bits again and again.
“Hey! That’s only 15,000 bits! The half is missing!” she complained. And I could only agree with her on that one. Not that I had pity with her, but cheating one with bits like that was a total not-flashy dick move in my opinion. Not even I would stoop that low.
And believe me, I’m bombing houses of innocent civilians. So I’m already rather low on the morality ladder.
Cake Butt all too haughtily rejected her complained with a derisive snort.
“You didn’t relinquish the Elements, and your own negligence to secure Buggy’s head costed me my very expensive and imported cake. So that is more than the likes of you deserve.”
Of course bounty here protested.
“It was 30,000 bits! And I didn’t know about either those Element thingies, nor about his abilities!”
“Oh?” she asked with an open stare, “You were too incompetent then?”
“Incompetent?! I’m the famous Bounty Hunter Lightning Dust!” she boomed through the dining hall, though Cake Butt wasn’t impressed at all.
“It seems the standards for bounty hunters are quite low if you are the best they have to offer,” she mentioned off-handedly, not caring that she just insulted her.
That seemed to make Lighting, as I now knew her name, snap as her nostril flared in seething anger as her wings aggressively flared from her sides.
“BITCH!”
This one word made everything go silent. Guards were going pale as they stared at the bounty hunter like she just committed suicide. Which honestly she probably has. I could see Cake Butt’s vein twitching wildly and only a hand of her sister on her shoulder seemed to calm her down.
If only a little.
Her teeth were gritting as she glared Lightning down.
“I see. It seems I was not only too benevolent but also too lax with you. It shocks me again and again how you bounty hunters don’t seem to show any manners.”
Now it was Lightning’s turn to snort at her.
“Benevolent my flank! We had a deal! And you are crossing me!”
“I’m merely pointing out what you have missed. But if you react like that… we will sack in the bounty ourselves! It might help to finance your stay!”
She was about to retort angrily at the mention of sacking in her hard earned money. Well, not really hard earned, considering this coward ambushed me. But anyway she somehow seemed to notice something amiss that made the fur on her neck stand on end.
“Stay?” she asked all too accusingly.
“Oh yes. You clearly are no useful part of society. So you will be involved in THE program.”
Instantly she dropped my body making me curse in slight pain, before she spread her wings and took angrily off towards the door she had carried me.
“GUARDS! SEIZE HER!” Cake Butt yelled, and the guards saluted as they instantly chased her down.
I didn’t really have any pity with her. Though what actually scared her enough to simply take off threw me for a loop. Useful part of society? Program? What exactly did Cake Butt mean with that?
Though it practically made me remember that I was still on a plate right in front of this easily to irate goddess wannabe.
“And now to you,” I could hear her seethe with her trademark suppressed rage, “I will give you one last chance to tell me where the Elements are before I turn you to a crisp!”
I of course quickly jumped with my head from the plate and to the exit, only to be grasped by her magical aura in midair, immobilizing me, as she turned me to face her.
“The Elements?” she demanded, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t turn my head from her.
Considering my position it was good that I actually had hid them. Otherwise I would already be in stone or to Tartarus. So, with the advantage I had, I of course tried to milk it for what it was worth.
“I want the 15,000 bits you have there, as well as an airship and for you to give me at least five days headstart.”
Celestia’s face instantly crunched up some more in clear distaste and even more rage.
“YOU DARE?!” she screamed at me, as she stood up to tower over my head-only form. Her hair was again a wildly dancing inferno.
Neither of us noticed Luna scowling at the two of us before she snatched my head away in her magic and brought me to her arms. She then pressed me against her bust, giving her sister a disapproving frown.
“Tis not the way to solve this sister!” she started, “Doth thee not see? There art a much better solution for this situation.”
That actually made Celestia curious.
“A better solution you say?” she asked, inquiring to hear more.
Loony nodded as she cocked her head to the still open dining room door.
She then turned along with Cake Butt to see six very specific mares enter the room. Mares I have seen before.
“Buggy!” an all too cheerful pink pony exclaimed as she bounced over to me, before snapping my head out of the air and smothering me between her generous pillows.
I personally felt an incoming nosebleed at this as my cheeks burned. I was in a bit of a daze, and only really got out of it when I felt my lungs suddenly burn up as I realized that my oxygen was cut off.
Thumping could be heard as my bound body trashed around on the ground and orange quickly stepped forward.
“Pinkie! Yer suffocating the fella!” she chided, making Pinkie stop as she pulled me out of her chest, making me gasp from air, as I felt a few drops of blood stream down my nose.
“Oopsies!” she exclaimed sheepishly, before my head was floated out of her hands in a familiar blue aura of Loony.
“Hey!” Pinkie protested with a pout, as Loony simply shook her head.
“Tis not the best moment for this now. The Elements are missing and only our dear Captain here knows their exact location.”
Rainbow instantly beat her wings and flew forward while punching one hand into her other.
“What are we waiting for when? Let’s just give him a good old beating to get out of him where the Elements are!”
“Violence shall not be the answer to his crime,” Loony said with a disapproving scowl at rainbow horse.
That was then purple stepped forward. Her demeanor was calm. Or at least as calm as she could be, as she still shuddered a bit nervously as she looked over me.
“You mean the program?” she asked Loony timidly, who nodded curtly.
“Indeed. This shall be the best solution for solving this predicament.”
“What program?” I couldn’t help but question warily with a raised eyebrow.
Loony then levitated me in front of her face. A predatory grin adorning her feature.
I didn’t like it.
“Thou will see, our dear Captain!~”
I didn’t like it one bit.