Chapter Three: The Alpha Phase, or, Expert Espionage.
A lone pony walked through the palace, its face completely concealed by a fedora and a pair of gag glasses. Upon its back was a trenchcoat. The only things you could see beneath the coat were brief flashes of pink. And it's around here you begin to agree with Discord, when he stated that this plan was doomed for failure.
Pinkie Pie walked down the corridors towards the throne room. Now, I believe you should know what The Alpha Phase entails. Basically, Pinkie Pie, wearing a disguise, will question Celestia and her significant others about her opinion on Discord. This might be more effective if her tail wasn't hanging out the back, as no-one had a tail quite like Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie entered the throne room, keeping in the shadows. Looking around, she pulled off some admittedly awesome rolls, flips and wall-jumps before landing perfectly on a banister. Leaping across banisters with the agility of a cat, she finally flipped off and landed directly in front of Celestia, Spider-man style. And while all that was happening, Celestia had been watching her with a mixture of confusion and shock etched on her face.
Pinkie Pie straightened herself and quickly went over her game plan. "Ok Pinkimena, you gotta do this real subtle. Don't let her know your true intentions."
With this in mind, Pinkie Pie approached the subject with the stealth of a jungle cat.
"So, how do you feel about Discord?"
Or… maybe not.
Luckily for Pinkie Pie, Celestia was far too shocked to recognize her, and had decided the easiest way to get rid of this crazy pony would be to answer her questions.
"Well… He's tolerable most of the time. Occasionally, I could even call him a good friend. But his constant pranks put a bit of a strain on our relationship."
Pinkie Pie nodded, writing this down on a notepad procured from hammerspace. She proceeded to seek Celestia's confidents with the grace of a landing bird. If the bird in question happened to be an albatross.
"So, you gotta any close friends/confidents you wanna tell me about?" Pinkie Pie questioned.
Celestia, obviously disturbed by this turn of events, slowly answered. "There's… my faithful student… Twilight Sparkle… her assistant, Spike… and… my sister, Luna." Pinkie Pie nodded, showing she understood, before leaving in the reverse order in which she entered, including the flips and wall-jumps.
Pinkie Pie decided to seek out Luna first, since it was fairly obvious where she was. For those who don't find it obvious, she was in her bedroom, because it was 5am. The only reason Celestia was up was because she had to raise the sun soon. Which brings us to Pinkie Pie hammering on Luna's door. It opened, revealing a very tired Moon Princess. However, upon seeing Pinkie Pie, or rather, her get-up, Luna became just as shocked and confused as her sister, but she reacted in a much different way. Luna leapt backwards, slamming the door shut. That wouldn't be too bad normally, but Pinkie Pie was standing a bit too close to the door and got flung into a wall. Obviously, she needed an alternate method of entry. Or she could just remove the costume, but come on. This is a humor fic, what did you expect?
Pinkie Pie was floating upwards towards Luna's window using helium balloons. She was laughing, waving her arms without a care in the world. Which is how Luna found her when she reached her window. Now, if you saw a disguised pony laughing like a maniac while waving their arms outside your window, you probably would have done what Luna did. Which was opening the window, and using magic to pop every balloon, which sent Pinkie Pie back to the cold, painful ground.
Pinkie Pie finally came up with a plan that worked, albeit in a roundabout fashion. First, she clambered onto the roof. Second, she lowered herself down the chimney using 'Ye Olde Espionage Geare'. Third, she had her disguise incinerated by Luna panicking and lighting a fire underneath her. This fortunately allowed Luna to recognize her, but unfortunately allowed Luna to recognize her.
After shaking off Luna's multiple apologies, Pinkie Pie began her line of questioning. It went much in the same way as last time, with Luna stating that she herself liked Discord (as a friend, mind you. I don't really do the love triangle thing), and that Celestia seemed to tolerate him much more than she used to. Thanking her, Pinkie Pie turned to leave, only to stop and ask the most important question in this chapter. "Have you got another disguise-thingy?" Pinkie Pie asked. Wordlessly, Luna reached into her closet and took out one in Pinkie's exact size. Deciding to chalk that up to a plot hole, Pinkie quickly took her leave.
It was a great and arduous quest. Across cliffs, rivers, oceans and deserts. Though space and time, while learning valuable lessons about life and death. Through the light and the darkness, learning important lessons on the good in evil and the evil in good. Then Pinkie Pie remembered Twilight Sparkle lived in Ponyville, not across space and time, and promptly forgot everything she just learned.
Spike was humming to himself as he cleaned up the library. It was peaceful, it was quiet… it was like a Fluttershy exploded.
The tranquility was immediately shattered beyond repair, along with a couple of bookshelves, when Pinkie Pie flew in, causing a miniature avalanche of knowledge.
Spike groaned, popping his head up above the pile of books that encased him. He briefly wondered if that was how it felt to be encased in stone, but disregarded that thought in exchange for Pinkie Pie's current whereabouts.
Now, you see, Pinkie Pie may be random, but she isn't an idiot. Se had already figured out that since Twilight tells pretty much everything to Spike (be it conversation or getting him to write her letters to Celestia), so if she found Spike, there would be no need to find Twilight. Also, she didn't think Twilight would tell her anything about the Princess, for fear that she would 'Banish her, or lock her in a dungeon, or lock her in a dungeon in the place that she banished her to'. Her friends, Spike and Fluttershy especially (Fluttershy because Twilight had already tried to force that belief on her, and Spike because he has to live with that theory). Grinning to herself, Pinkie began the questioning. Unfortunately, she hadn't gotten out of the books yet, so Spike was more focused on finding the disembodied voice than answering. When Pinkie did finally show herself, she took out a good-sized portion of gems from a bag labeled 'Dragon Bribes' and started the Q&A session.