//------------------------------//
// Leonard McLeish 
// Story: Colgate's Rants:  Hasbro Franchise Edition 
// by StormLuna 
//------------------------------//

Another weekend had passed, a much shorter one than I would have liked thanks to the Biskit Bitches.  I looked over my schedule and noticed that I didn't have anypony scheduled until right after lunch.  Good, that way I can sit back, relax and blare my Judas Priest and other metal as loud as I want to.  Yes noise complaints were filed but you know what?  I don't care!  I'm the top pony in the land so if I want to blare my music so loud everypony in town can hear it, I will.  Besides, these ponies need to know what good music sounds like.  All they listen to is Sapphire Shores and Countess Coloratura.  

Ok, enough about my bitching over the music these ponies listen to.  Apparently my music must have been heard by somepony because a somewhat tall stallion who wore glasses came in.  He had somewhat of a whiny voice but he seemed nice enough.  Now I have never seen this pony around before but he seemed rather familiar.  I tapped my hoof on my sign regarding payment and he said something about Ralph having chewed up his insurance card.  Ralph, Ralph?  I began to laugh, "So Leonard, your lab chewed up your card?  Well we'll see what we can do anyway."

He seemed shocked that I would know what he was talking about and what shocked me is that Downtown City isn't the only place that there are portals to in this land.  Given that I am not only the top princess but the top pony overall in this country, I demanded to know where it was.  He told me that he came to Ponyville from a portal to the west of here.  

Ok, I'm starting to get concerned about all these portals but enough about that, I have a patient to take care of.  I asked him what was wrong and the answer he gave me was all too familiar.  He said that his upper molar in the right side of his mouth was hurting.  Just like G3.5 Rainbow Dash and Blythe.  Oh well, I'm sure I can follow him through his portal and take something.  Yeah he ain't rich but I'll find something. 

Now surprisingly when I asked him to open his mouth he did so with absolutely no problems!  I'm guessing he has been through this before so I was quite relieved.  Now his teeth had very little plaque on them but he had one hell of a deep cavity and you know what that means.  A pony that came through a portal MUST BE PUNISHED!  Like I love to do with so many bad patients, I smacked him a few times but hey, that's just part of the appointment, right?  It wouldn't be a true appointment with me if the patient didn't get smacked over a cavity!

Given that I did not have any appointments scheduled until the afternoon, I decided I would just fill the cavity as well.  Naturally like every other little pussy would, he shied back when he saw me taking that needle to his mouth to numb it.  Oh well, at least he wasn't like that idiot guard who insisted I just rub a numbing agent on the tooth I was working on. 

After I finished working on him I demanded that he take me to Happy Valley so I could collect my payment.  He gave me a nervous look realizing that I was likely going to want something very valuable.  Once we went through the portal, just like it was in Downtown City, he returned to being a human yet I remained a pony.  When he led me into his house we were greeted by a woman that I do not like, his mother Agatha....ok everypony, before you go asking how I know about her, I watch Pound Puppies too.

Now this is sad, she began to belittle him for bringing a weird horse into HER house!  Weird horse?  Oh now that bitch is going to pay!  Want to know what I did?  I smacked the bitch right in front of her son and knocked her pearl necklace off.  Ok, pearls aren't exactly worth that much and certainly aren't worthy of being put in my treasury but hey, I had appointments that afternoon so I just took those and flew off.  

As I was flying away she was running after me thinking she could catch me!  That is proof that she obviously isn't the brightest bulb in the box but oh well.  I received a payment for my services.  Maybe I can get twenty bits for the necklace but one thing is for sure, since Pound Puppies has been cancelled, if he comes by again I may just allow him to move to Equestria.  I'm quite sure he'd be more than happy to get away from that overbearing bitch of a mother.