//------------------------------//
// Entry #4 
// Story: The Desperate Journals of Starlight Glimmer 
// by Arararagi 
//------------------------------//






        I was done trying to be subtle in my information gathering. It was time to make an audience with either Princess Luna or Princess Celestia, and ask them what they knew about dark magic. I could also get them to help me with any research I needed. If I showed them my memories, they would believe me.



        I was unsurprised this time when I looped. It wasn't the first time I had experienced death, which was a terrifying thought, but somehow it was strangely comforting too. I realized that I could fail as many times as I needed. I was, however, pleased that my journal continued to keep me company. At times I feel this journal is key to my sanity, and that may well be the case.



        I grabbed some toast from the castle kitchen without saying much more than "good morning" to Spike, before heading straight to the train station. I took the early morning train to Canterlot, and I arrived before noon. 



        When I approached the castle, I was questioned by the guards. I simply told them I was here to speak to the Princesses, and they informed me that Princess Luna was expecting me. I pretended not to be surprised as I thanked them and walked inside. A guard led me straight to Princess Luna, who then told me to follow her.



        Princess Luna led me into the far side of her personal wing of the castle. I had never set foot there before. Mostly, it looked the same as the rest of the castle, except the tapestries and rugs bore a more nocturnal theme. Most of them bore Luna's cutie mark. 



        Soon we arrived in a room I could only assume was Luna's personal office. It had a desk, several bookshelves, and most of the furniture was obviously made to fit someone Luna's size. I sat in one of the chairs meant for guests, and asked the question that had been on my mind the entire walk.



        "You said you were expecting me?"



         "Yes, we were expecting you, Starlight Glimmer. We can sense the rift in harmony that emanates from you as if you were a black void." She narrowed her eyes. "I do not sense hostility from you, and I do not think you have gone evil if you have requested an audience with me in my own castle. Please, enlighten us on what is happening to you."



        "I can do better. Let me show you." I answered. I showed Luna my memories. I do not know how long we sat there, but we both experienced my memories since I began looping as if they had just happened. When I finished I waited patiently for Luna to process the information. After several agonizing minutes, she finally spoke again.



         "This is rather serious." She said in a quiet, pained voice. "Both my sister and I consider ourselves quite talented at scrying, and perceiving the near future." The Princess of the Night sighed. "Unfortunately, our visions have been clouded of late. I had been trying to be optimistic about it, but clearly that is the wrong approach



        "Starlight Glimmer, we want you to fix this. We do not know why you alone are stuck in a time loop, but we believe it is a blessing. You alone have the power to change these horrible outcomes."



        I nodded. "I thought so at first too, but I can't do anything to stop the darkness!"



         Luna looked pensive for a few more moments. "Yes, I remember seeing it in your memories. It reminded us of the magic Sombra created during his short tyranny. Unfortunately I do not know of any written records of his evil magic. In our time, we defeated him with the elements, but that is no longer an option."



        "So what do I do?" I asked, my voice cracking. I wasn't going to cry, I told myself. Crying in front of Princess Luna would accomplish nothing. I hadn't requested her presence for pity. I needed advice. I took a deep breath and held my tears.



        "We believe there is another solution. We saw how our sister was able to keep the darkness at bay. Her light magic could not defeat it, but it did seem to have an effect. Long ago, there was an artifact created by Starswirl the Bearded that could absorb, and then amplify certain types of magic. It was especially useful for amplifying light spells. The simplified versions were quite common for a time." Luna levitated a small crystal out of her desk. It glowed a bright blue in her magic.



        "Is that a magelight crystal?" I asked. Magelight crystals were expensive because they were very rare. I had only seen one before in a museum.



        "Yes, it is. The crystals are rare today, but before I was banished to the moon, they were as common as torches for light among unicorns. But Starswirl had the most pure crystal of all. It was one of his most proud accomplishments in his early days. Unfortunately, we do not know where it is today."



        "You don't know?" I asked in disbelief. "How could you lose an artifact that important?"



        "I did not lose it!" Luna protested loudly. In a quieter voice, she added, "I was banished for a thousand years. When I returned, it was missing."



        I winced. I had not thought of that possibility. "Where did you see it last?" I asked, trying to change the subject slightly.



        "In our old castle, which lies in what is now the Everfree forest."



         "Of course.." I sighed. I hated the Everfree. "I guess I’ll go there ne-" I stopped mid-sentence to gag. Suddenly I felt severely dizzy and nauseous. I immediately recognized the symptoms as meaning I might loop soon, but this only confused me further. It was still the 11th! Before I could think about it anymore, my vision went dark and I felt extremely cold. Then, I saw a vision which I have much difficulty describing.


*******



        Everything went by so fast. I saw ponies, going about their lives. At first despite how fast the scenery was changing, I had no trouble understanding that this is what was normal for them. It wasn't normal for me, though. I was looking at a town I didn't recognise at first, and time was speeding by. Days, weeks, and possibly months flew by, and ponies moved all around me in a blur of colors. My only reference for time was the rising of the Sun and Moon.



         At first, I was unable to move anything except my eyes, but eventually I was able to move at a very sluggish pace. One of the first things I did was turn around, and I gasped at what I saw. Before me was a castle that I both instantly recognized, but was also quite different from what I remembered. It was undoubtedly the Castle of Friendship, in the center of what must be Ponyville, but had I not seen the castle, I would not have recognized the latter. Ponyville was huge! Everywhere I looked, there were cobblestone streets, and large, expensive looking houses. If anything, it looked more like Canterlot than the Ponyville I knew.



        Just as I had that thought, I woke up gasping for air again. My mouth was dry. Every muscle in my body ached. I looked around. I was in a dark, dimly lit room. I lit up my horn and gasped at what I saw.



         I was in a prison cell, that much was obvious. More interesting, was the fact that the bars were made of a combination of complicated magical locks and crystal, that had been purposely shaped into barbs. Across from me I could see a few other cells. There were ponies huddled together in one, obviously trying their best to get some sleep. In another cell, there was just one blue stallion, staring at a wall. When I looked a little closer, I could see his body was covered in bruises.  Finally, in the rightmost cell, was the most surprising sight of all: a changeling queen!



         The first thought that came to mind was escape. I tried to charge up a teleport spell in my horn, but I cried out as I received a painful shock in the neck.  I felt my neck with a hoof. I was wearing some kind of metal collar with a crystal attached. 



        "It's no use." The blue stallion across from me said. "We can't use magic here." I looked at him. Why would he say that, he's not a...



        I gasped again as I saw it. He was a unicorn, with emphasis on the word 'was'. If you looked closely, you could see the stub of what was once a horn on his forehead. It had been cleanly broken off at the base. Who could do such a cruel thing? I started crying as the hopelessness of the situation finally hit me. I couldn't escape. I didn't even know how I got here. The only good news is that I still had my journal and my quill, but I quickly decided I needed to hide them so they would not get taken away. The journal fit neatly under my matress, and I hid the ink behind my chamber pot.



        With that taken care of, I crawled back into my bed and started crying again.



         "Celestia help us." I said. I heard a snort, followed by a laugh. Confused, I looked up to find Queen Chrysalis laughing at me from her cell.



        "You poor foal. Did you forget what happened to your precious Celestia?"



        I had no response. My throat was choked up, and I couldn't find any words.



        "Did that collar fry your memories? Well let me remind you. Your Princesses Celestia and Luna are dead." She said in the most venomous voice possible. 



        My memories of watching Celestia die played over and over in my head. I quietly cried as I felt an incredible amount of guilt for her death. How could I have not saved her? Why was I in a jail cell? What even really happened? I was once again in a situation where nothing made sense to me, and I was very scared.



         While I was crying, I was vaguely aware of the sound of Chrysalis, laughing at my sorrow. When she suddenly stopped a few minutes later, it was jarring. I looked back up at her. She was grasping at her throat with her hooves as if she could not breathe.



        "You will speak when spoken to, Chrysalis." A new voice said. It was a guard, dressed in what looked like royal guard armor, except the colors were all wrong. They resembled a night guard, except they bore stars instead of a moon, and the armor colors were primarily purple and pink.



        "At ease, Night Wing." Another pony said. This voice was more female, and vaguely familiar.



        "Yes, your Highness." Night Wing responded, turning and bowing to the new pony. I gasped when she walked in my field of view. It was Twilight Sparkle! Except it wasn't.



        The Twilight Sparkle I knew was a kind, humble pony, who despite being a princess and an alicorn, never pulled rank unless she absolutely had to. This pony seemed the complete opposite. She wore fancy regalia that matched her new and different, darker coat colors. She held her head high, and snubbed most of the other prisoners; they weren't worth her time.



        Instead, she directly approached my cell and sat before me.



        "Well hello, my dear student." 'Twilight' said in a mocking tone.



        "H-hi Twilight. Funny meeting you here." I said, trying to lighten the depressing mood.



        "Funny, is it?" She responded with a cocked eyebrow. "How so? Enlighten me."



        "Well, I'm obviously trapped in this cell, in what I'm guessing is the Castle of Friendship, and that's funny, because last I checked friends don't imprison friends." I answered, trying to keep my voice as even as possible. "We are friends, right?"



        She frowned. "Well, then tell me this. Do friends let their friends get away with treason?"



        "Treason? What treason? I was trying to save Celestia!"



         "Hahah, a likely story!" 'Twilight' laughed. "We have witnesses who saw you with the disguised Crysalis. They saw you escort her to the Princess and then distract the Princess while she drank the poison!"



        "That can't be true! Let me show you my memories, that isn't how it happened at all!" I protested.



        "Why would I need to see your memories? I already read them before I threw you in that cell. Stop lying, my dear student. I would hope that you go to the gallows with at least a shred of dignity."



        "You don't trust me?" I said, in disbelief. I was genuinely hurt by that more than the prospect of being executed.



         'Twilight's face remained neutral. "We will convene for court in the morning. Crysalis, you, and all the other ponies being convicted of this high treason are all being tried together. Then, in the afternoon, each of you found guilty will be hung on the spot. I had only come down here to inform you of that, since you had been unconscious for the last day or so, not listen to you beg for mercy and tell me lies." Her voice grew much louder as she spoke. It began echoing through the walls as she gave her final line: "All of you found guilty will rot in Tartarus for all eternity. You will not be even given a funeral. I shall ensure that you are all forgotten by everyone you ever knew."



        With those cruel, ominous words, she left.



*******



        I can't bring myself to write what happened in the time between then and the trial. Many sad, personal stories were shared between myself and the other prisoners. By the end, even Crysalis expressed some guilt in the outcome of her actions.



         In the morning, we were all dragged into a joint cell, just outside the throne room. It was cramped, smelly, and uncomfortable. Queen Chrysalis was curled up in a corner, staring at a wall with eyes that were completely unfocused. It was in that moment, that I sympathized with her. I poked her with a hoof and asked the one burning question I had to know the answer to.



        "Why?"



        "Why what." She replied so quietly I almost didn't hear her.



        "Why did you want to kill Celestia?"



         "It wasn't supposed to kill her." Was her answer. Names were now being called into the courtroom. There wasn't much time left, but I didn't care. This conversation with Chrysalis was the most important thing in the world to me at the moment.



        "What do you mean?" I asked. "The poison wasn't supposed to be lethal? It killed her so quickly! How could you not know?"



        "I was lied to."



        "By who?"



        "I don't know, but obviously I was a foal for trusting them."



        "Surely you must know somethi-"



         "Queen Chrysalis. Come out now." I was interrupted by the guards calling for Chrysalis. It was time for her trial. She looked at me with an expression I had never expected before walking out of the cell.



        "I am so sorry for you." Were the last words she spoke to me.



*******



        All sense of time after that lost meaning to me. Some of the other ponies asked me to comfort them, or sought to comfort me, but I could not bring myself to care. I was weeping into the coat of a mare whose name I could not remember when my name was called.



        I was brought into the throne room and shoved into a stand. My front hooves were cuffed to it, so that I could not run away. I openly wept when I saw the gallows. Queen Chrysalis, and many other ponies had already been executed, and were just hanging there.



         The trial itself was a farce. I tried to defend myself, but they had hard evidence of my involvement, and several eye witnesses. In a matter of minutes, I had been sentenced to death.



         Immediately I was brought to the gallows, and a cloth bag was thrown over my head. I was openly sobbing as they brought the noose to my neck. One last time, out of desperation, I tried to teleport away, but all I accomplished was another fresh shock from my collar. The next thing I new, the ground fell out from beneath me and I lost consciousness. My last thoughts were of Twilight and how she had betrayed me.