//------------------------------// // Just Yak It Up. // Story: Legacy // by NFire //------------------------------// Again we are delayed in our desire to get my sister to the Crystal Empire. Athena and I have been notified that a delegation from Yakyakistan is coming to observe and hopefully enter into a treaty with Equestria while visiting in Ponyville. Twilight has been given the erstwhile task of escorting and showing the delegation what Equestria is all about in her office as Princess of Friendship. It appears to be important enough that she is pulling out all the stops to prepare. “Yaks?” “We have seen many different kinds of intelligent species in our lives Athena, what is one more?” “That’s true.” “I am sure they will be just as amiable as others. If not, Twilight can handle them in her capacity as Princess.” “I hope so. Diplomats can be so.. unreasonable... sometimes.” Crusader felt his ire rise to the fore, remembering faces..names...actions, “They can.” Athena sends calm through the warbands, “I know that was a bad situation, but don’t you trust our friends?” “I do. Though I am wary of any political motives.” “As you say all the time, ‘Of course’.” Athena’s voice is merry. “Shouldn’t you be on the way to Twilight’s to help with setting up?” “Oh pits! I’m outta here!” I watch her avatar tear out of the repair bay where we were performing maintenance. She is making a beeline for the castle. I believe I will stay out of the way for the nonce. Drone coverage is being increased as I watch Athena skipping along the road. Ferrets and Hounds are up and ready. Feeds from commlinks are switched to dedicated channels, alerts are set and primed for anything that may crop up. Remembering my last meeting with a few diplomats... I find myself hoping there might be problems. ----- Twilight was frantic, walking back and forth in front of her friends hoping everything was just right. Her face was wearing a nervous grin as her gaze flitted from pony to pony, mane becoming more frazzled by the moment. “You look nervous. There’s no reason to be nervous! Nothing to worry about. Everything’s going to be fine! Just fine!” She smiled somewhat maniacally at Pinkie who took a step backwards. “Twilight,” Pinkie’s voice was joyful, “You just tell those butterflies in your tummy to beat it! Making new friends is always fun.” The Alicorn looked even more nervous, grabbing her stomach for a moment as Athena walked in, “Oohhhh....” Fluttershy stepped forward, “They’re probably just as nervous as you are.” Her smile was gentle and warm as she touched her friend with a hoof. Applejack nodded, stepping up beside Fluttershy, “You been planning this shindig for weeks. You know everything about them fellers. It’ll be just dandy I’m sure.” Athena had just come in seeing them all standing in a line and politely getting behind the friends, out of sight so she could watch, “It’ll be fine, they’re just..uh..yaks.. Nothing to worry about.” Twilight places a hoof on her chest, inhaling deeply, then releasing it while pushing her hoof outward. Athena watched the Zen-like movement. “You’re right," Twilight was more relaxed, “Remember, Yakyakistan and Equestria haven’t opened their borders to each other for hundreds of moons. In fact Yakyakistan is so far north of the Crystal Mountains nopony has ever been there! Imagine the look on Princess Celestia’s face when she finds out we made friends with a Yak prince!” She laughs, a nervous giggle, resting a hoof on her chest again, “I’m calm, I’m calm.” ----- Crusader perused the thick volumes, given to Athena and himself from Twilight’s library, they told what was known about the Yakyakistani ..peoples.. and their country far to the north. A ‘warrior’ breed who disdained the niceties and lived simply in a rough atmosphere there in the rarefied air of the northern mountains. Covered in snow and ice all times out of the year, they adapted and made a living through the harsh climate. He didn’t recognize anything familiar, so there was that. No need for enmity he supposed. Sighing to himself he tapped into the data feeds, checking on each one as a drone caught the train pulling into the station. Twilight’s readouts were showing extreme nervousness, almost a panic attack. Hopefully Athena and her friends could help calm her. He had always despised politics, seeing in it folly and fare for the ignorant. He was straightforward in his dealings with humans, why could they never be the same with each other? It was a conundrum that was never solved. He shook himself out of his reverie, flipping the pages once more and committing them to a dedicated database point and profile for further study. Twilight had given everyone a huge set of books of the very dry material to read. He doubted anyone else had perused it as Athena had shied from it like a snake. Drone cameras spotted three large, shaggy and imposing figures that marched out of a train car. He zeroed in on them, seeing thick coats, simple adornment. Plain and utilitarian in their dress and style. Ponies got out of the way as the three bulled their way through the morning crowd. Rumors of a visit had spread as usual, ponies not knowing what to make of the three imposing forms. The umber pony frowned to himself, seeing a disdain and irregard for the ponies of Ponyville as they walked into town. Looks were exchanged by passerby as the strange figures made their way towards the castle. He watched carefully from his command deck as the three horned shapes arrived at the door to the castle. His monitoring of the commlinks and their pinpoint cameras stepped up, receiving crystal-clear feeds from all of them dumped into the buffer. ----- Every head turned as Spike blew a fanfare on a trumpet. A large red carpet unrolling itself from a place in front of the massive doors. As the rug finished unrolling itself, the doors slammed open with an echoing sound throughout the room. Two large shaggy figures with quite impressive horns stepped forward, then to either side, exposing a third yak. “Ponies! Greetings ponies!” Athena grimaced a little bit at the loud voice, staying quiet and watching. Twilight fired up her magic, teleporting in front of the leading figure. She bows politely, “Prince Rutherford, your Majesty. On behalf of all of us, I welcome you to Equestria.” The large face gets close to Twilight’s, “Me honored. Yaks hope for great friendship between ponies and yaks.” Her mane blows back as he pronounces loudly, “Friends for a thousand moons!” Athena kept her silence while musing, well this is off to a good start. Twilight kept smiling, “You must be hungry after a long journey.” Twilight gestured, having Spike push in a long table heaped with delicacies. Athena had watched as Pinkie was making the foods earlier. It all looked nice, though were all actually pretty simple. Nothing to keep in data storage. “We’ve prepared a banquet of traditional Yak foods.” The Prince eyed it, they really couldn’t tell with all the hair in front of his face, “If things not perfect, yaks get mad! Yaks always get mad when things not perfect!” Athena watched as Twilight actually gulped loudly, her nervousness returning as the yak Prince took a piece of..what was that anyways? Off the tray, munching it for a moment. Huh, you can actually see his eyes, he must like.... The food gets spit out onto the floor as the Prince yells, “This no taste like yak food! Fake pony food make yaks mad!” All three of them roar their anger and proceed to wreak havoc on the castle interior. Horns hit pillars cracking them, vases and pretty objects get thrown in their ire as they even break the railing on the upper floor! A hoof plants itself firmly on Athena’s shoulder as she took a step forward. “Oh no missy, doncha go making more of a problem.” Applejack’s quiet voice makes her turn, seeing the farmer giving her an earnest look. She’s right, I shouldn’t..oh no! Accessing her communications arrays she immediately dumps all feeds from commlinks and cameras off into a clean datapoint, rolling it all back at least a minute before the food incident. All TSDS gets shut down as Athena frantically makes sure nothing shows up in the data streams to Crusader. She was glad things went into a buffer before being stored. She wiped it clean and started piecing things together as fast as she could. “Athena?” Oh crud, there he is. She makes herself sound light and cheerful, “Yes?” “Is something wrong with the camera feeds? Comm was disrupted for a moment and the time stamps are off.” Athena cringed and kept fudging everything, working in the space between seconds, “Oh..uh..no. Just a slight hiccup, you know those arrays, one thing goes it all goes poof!” He was silent for long enough that she actually started to get nervous until he spoke once more. “If you need repair materials just take them, we need to make sure you’re up to Depot Level. Is anything else malfunctioning?” “N..no! Nono! Looks like a molecular circuit break in a datablock, can fix no problem!” “Alright. I will try and bring the feeds back up if you wish..” “Nope! I got it! No problem!” “Are you sure?” “Yep! No sweat! All done and done, got spiders on it now. Thanks though big brother!” “Very welcome.” The link drops, Athena finds her avatar prancing in place from nervousness, making Applejack look at her oddly. Darnit! Why does this happen?! “Oh..uh..you know..nerves.. Battle reflex, all that.” She gestured towards the yaks finishing up destroying the interior of the meeting area. “The..uh..you know us Bolos! Heh..” She gave the narrow-eyed mare a smile, trying to stop herself from prancing. “You are seriously not a good liar Athena.” The sable mare sighed, “I cut off Crusader from all the cameras and information from your links, because of...that..” She pointed at the yaks, and then the band on Applejack’s leg, “And..I..uh..kinda lied to Crusader as to why.” “Athena, there’s no reason to..” She was stopped by the other mare gesturing again to the yaks destroying things. “Oh..oh right. Oh pits.” Her eyes got wide as she realized what Crusader might do. “Yeah...pits.” Pinkie had sidled up to Twilight, “Is it okay to be nervous now?” ----- Crusader sat reviewing the logs for the past few minutes. Time/Date stamps were off and there appears to be some interference with recording and buffering. Athena said she was fixing it, but maybe he could help somewhat by checking on a few things himself. The commlinks might be suffering from wear and tear, that could account for a lot. The molecular circuitry could be damaged if jarred enough and they have been through quite a bit. At least it is a simple problem that can be fixed in place instead of something unusual he thought. They had finally rid themselves of the stocks of cereal, using most in the nanovats while the rest went into the fusion plants. Good riddance. Tugging on a pair of saddlebags, they contained tools that could help him diagnose the problem in toto, abrogating the need for bringing them all to his hull to scan and fix whatever was wrong with the commlinks. Hopefully Athena has enough in stocks to fix her array problem. That could be a hindrance on a trip to the Crystal Empire and she so very much wants to go. Crusader exited the Command Deck, heading out to the castle at a sedate walk. No need to hurry, it is a nice day. He watched the Yak diplomats leave the Castle from a drones eye view. I wonder if the meeting with the diplomats went well? ----- The seven mares were making repairs after the Yaks had left, trying to put things back to rights, Twilight using her magic when hooves wouldn’t work. “Them yaks sure have a funny way of sayin’ howdy.” Applejack was giving a final tap to a nail in one of the railings. Rarity was trying to look optimistic, “They’re different, that’s all. Very...different.” She was looking a bit sad at a vase she was attempting to repair. Rainbow was holding the pieces of some sort of statue, hovering near a shelf, “I think they broke my record for most stuff broken in under a minute. I mean, they even broke the trophy!” Twilight was mending another table, putting it in place gently, “All we have to do is show them how great it can be to have friends before Princess Celestia arrives for the friendship party tonight.” She faced everypony, “Now who read the seven-volume cross-indexed history of Yakyakistan I recommended?” No one met her eyes, Rainbow tapped her hooves together, “I..uh..I had a thing.” Twilight huffed exasperatedly, “Really?” She caught Athena’s eyes for a moment, “Surely you read.. You didn’t?” The Pegasus smiled, “Uh..maintenance, you know. Lots to do being a..uh..Bolo.” The Alicorn’s eyes narrowed, staring at Athena,“You are so not good at lying.” The faux Pegasus rolled her eyes, “Everyone says that!” Rainbow laughed, “That’s cause it’s true!” “You shush.” Pinkie bounced in place beside Fluttershy, “I did, I did! Did you know they live so far north of the Crystal Empire that it’s cold all the time? Yaks have yak fur to keep them warm!” She hugged herself with a squee. Appljack shoved a table into place, “Pretty sure that’s what fur’s always for Pinkie Pie. “I know! Yak’s are so cool!” She appeared on top of Applejack, knocking the hammer out of her mouth and smashing the vase Rarity had just finished repairing. Twilight sighed, “Pinkie Pie, can you show them around town? I know you have to plan the friendship party too, but it would really help to make them feel welcome.” The fuschia mare nodded, “Don’t worry. They’ll be in good hooves with me.” Twilight looked at all the mares, “Remember, we want to make sure Equestria feels like home. That means doing everything we can to make this place feel like Yakyakistan.” Pinkie saluted, “No problem!” “Good. Let’s go out there and make some new friends!” Twilight stuck her hoof out, immediately it was covered with the others. “Yeah!” Pinkie went out with Applejack to show the diplomats around the town. Athena turned to Twilight, “Oh stars, Crusader’s coming!” “What?” “Twilight, if he sees all this...knows that Prince Rutherford and his companions did this, he’s gonna.. Oh, he’ll lose it after what happened.” Athena was looking out the doorway nervously. “What do we do?” Rainbow was hurriedly placing things on shelves, not caring if they were broke or not.” “Calm down, calm down.” Twilight was tapping a hoof on her chin, “I got it. Just calm down.” “O..okay!” ----- Crusader watched Pinkie and the Applejack tear out of the castle, heading towards the town proper. They gave him a brief wave before running out of his sight past a few houses. Things must have gone well he thought, continuing his way towards the castle, that is always a good sign. Stepping into the entryway, he heard the voices from the meeting area, heading for them. Perhaps he could work on a couple of the bands while they were still here. He looked forward to trying to fix things, even with the tools he had at least it would be a nice attempt. “Rainbow, how many times have I told you? Don’t practice stunts in the castle!” “Yeah yeah, it was just a simple one!” “But look at all this destruction!” Twilight’s voice was sounding exasperated as Crusader rounded the doorway. “Is something wrong?” They all turned towards Crusader, Twilight rolling her eyes, “Rainbow tried to do a stunt to impress the diplomats and..and..all this!” Blue eyes took in the scenery, seeing broken furniture, railings, even pillars of crystal and other furnishings. He had know Rainbow had a penchant for breaking things some times, but this was... He pondered a moment at the readouts from the commbands, showing nervousness, a heightened pulse rate from them. He put that aside due to the first meeting, of course they would want things to go well. “Impressive.” It was to his mind. How a slim Pegasus could cause all this, truly remarkable. He really didn’t put things past ponies anymore. A cyan chest puffed up as she hovered nearby, “You bet it is! Oughta give me another trophy!” Rainbow grinned unabashedly, pointing at the restored statue giving her first place in Total Destruction of Inanimate Things. It was actually signed by Princess Celestia. “Do you need help cleaning up?” Crusader was reaching to undo his saddlebags when a hoof stopped him, “Oh no, we’ve got this. Athena’s helping with Fluttershy and Rarity, so we’ve got this.” Twilight was smiling at him a bit nervously he thought, “Why are you here?” “Athena reported problems with communications and I thought perhaps your bands might need looking at. I brought some tools to accomplish..” “So you need our bands?” She stripped hers quickly, holding it in her magic grip and grinning at the Earth Pony, “Here you go!” The others were hoofed over and stuffed into his saddlebags as he was ushered quickly out of the castle. Excuses were given they needed time to clean up to prepare for festivities tonight. He could understand that. He did not contact Athena as she would let him know if any problems occurred. He turned and left, heading for his war hull as he would get the other bands later. It was still quite the nice day and a walk was always pleasant. ----- Twilight snapped a hoof up at Athena, “You! Keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t get anywhere near those yaks!” The pegasus saluted, “Yes ma’am!” She immediately tasked her own drones to do an unobtrusive surveillance of his avatar, “Got him, he’s heading for his war hull right now.” He never tapped her own optics streams, knowing she’d call him if there was a problem, so the lines were secure for now. “Good..good.” She was sweating a bit, “All we need is him starting more problems with Prince Rutherford.” “Oh, I’m sure he wouldn’t do anything bad. He just wants us all safe.” Fluttershy’s words come through the area clearly as she sets a restored vase on an upper shelf. “That’s it dear Fluttershy.” Rarity chimes in, having repaired some table cloths perfectly, “He’s just looking out for everypony is all. I’m sure he wouldn’t do anything untoward.” “He’d nuke the entire country of Yakyakistan.” Every eye turned to Athena as she said it so blithely it rocked them back on their hooves. They knew exactly what she meant as they all had discussed their capabilities long ago. “No..he wouldn’t..would he?” Twilight was looking nervous again. Athena laughed, “No, of course not, not without orders. He’d just kill the diplomats. He likes things simple, why waste ammunition?” She waved a hoof nonchalantly. “Athena!” Twilight was goggling at the Pegasus. The sable face grinned, “Ha! You’re so easy to rile.” She ducked a lavender hoof and laughed with the others. Although..she really hoped nothing would happen. But she’d keep track of him, make sure the yaks and him never met. Not gonna be that hard, nope! ----- Having scanned and tested the circuits thoroughly, Crusader was pleased. The bands had held up well over time, solid and seemingly unbreakable so far. Though he hadn’t taken a look at Pinkie’s as of yet. A few tweaks to the coding, updating them and making sure the cases were solid, he set it on the bench of the small workroom. He was proud of the creations, his very first in this world. The pinpoint cameras were very clear, replacing the lenses as a few scratches had marred the surfaces made them even more so. Testing the datastreams told him the emitters and IFF were working well, assigned to bands unused as Equestria and the world of Equus had no electromagnetic spectrum clogged with everyday things. He sat looking at the bands, each marked with a symbol of the pony who owned it, and mused for a moment. Crusader reached back into his archives, seeing the blasted and dark spaces were his memories used to be. The nanites were slowly replacing the blocks with new ones as metals were supplied. The new arrays were calm, like pools of clear liquid, waiting to be filled with data, more memories...memories.. His mind searched the forlorn spots, the shattered data banks, looking for pieces of memories he knew he had had but were now gone. Footsteps on his command deck from centuries ago didn’t match up with a partial face he saw in files. The connections were irretrievably broken. Battle records filled in some spaces, but the details were lacking. Some days when alone, he reached back, sweeping his cores for that one bit, that other byte or information that would add to the puzzle that was his history. Something that would let him know, that would tell him.. Tell him... If he was doing right. Centuries of human contact, of closely living with those beings who had created him were as dust in the wind. Nothing but scattered strings of information left to try and piece together, most times a failure. A loss that saddened him some days as the personal memories of his officers was gone.. He could access Athena’s memories, showing him commanders that were with him when she and her sister served together with the Regiment. But they weren’t his memories. The details, the intimacies, the...everything .. that made them his own. Would they praise him or damn him for what he’d done so far? Even the revelations that a portal existed to another world with humanoid types living there did not comfort. They were not the beings he had known, had served and served with for centuries. He reviewed old battles, seiges, conquests, looking into the past and seeing times when he and his brothers and sisters stood against innumerable enemies and were victorious and some where they were not. The list was long. There was a room waiting for his avatar in Canterlot. A place where it could stay undisturbed if he chose to rest. Maybe it is time I retire. To sleep the centuries away and no longer wish for these things. He found himself reliving the past as best he could more these days, looking for something. He was not sure what it was he was searching for. Perhaps he would never know. I am being unreasonable and selfish, looking for validation where there is none. Was this the thing driving me to send Athena on a quest to the Empire? To search for something, anything, that would give me a sense that I was doing right by my standing orders and the Concordiat? Equestria..not the Concordiat. The Empire of Man no longer lives. Remembering all the times when he sent a message to the galaxy by SWIFT, listening for that one reply. Wanting to hear just one faint voice that told him he was not alone in his hope that something else survived. Inside quiet cores he shook a metaphorical head, his mind calm and peaceful. I should not be reminiscing so much, losing myself in another era. I am an old Bolo with foolish thoughts, nothing more. A powerful program reached out and gathered the musings together, broke all connections with any current data and erased them from storage. They would not be remembered. Resetting the time/date stamps and securing the memories, it initiated a reboot of short term datasets. It would be as if he had never been thinking of this at all. After the reset he found himself looking at the work table, seeing the bands and wondering where the time went. He was probably thinking about something and got lost in thought as was his wont to do. I must stop doing that, Athena would think I am getting senile. He smiled slightly to himself, gathering up the bands and cameras, stuffing them into bags that he cinched tight around himself. Applejack and Pinkie had the other bands he needed to check. He had last seen them heading towards the farm, drone overflight had confirmed. He set out of his hull with a firm step. Figuring to get there within a fair amount of time, he wanted to make sure everything was repaired correctly. He would drop the other bands off on the way back. Nodding to himself he pointed the avatar in the right direction. ----- Applejack was leading the three representatives into the large barn on her property, “We know y’all are noble warriors who avoid the so-called finer things, so me ‘n mah family would be honored if you rested here in the barn during your vist.” She swept a hoof out, showing three neatly made hay beds with pillows. Pinkie was grinning, “Applejack and I made hay beds like you’re used to back in Yakyakistan.” Prince Rutherford looked at the three beds, “Hmmm...this perfect.” Pinkie grins wider, “You can snooze here all afternoon, ‘cause you’re gonna need a lot of energy for my party tonight!” Pinkie and Applejack watched the three yaks inspect the beds, the farm mare sighing, “That wasn’t so hard.” Rutherford licked the hay, eyes opening wide, “Wait! This not Yak hay!” Applejack put a leg around her friend, drawing her back out of the line of fire while Pinkie was trying to explain, “Well, we didn’t have actual hay from Yakyakistan, but we tried to make it just like yours.” The big Yak turns, yelling at them both as Big Mac and Apple Bloom who’d been peeking around the corner took off like shots. “Not perfect! Yaks destroy!” They proceeded to jump up and down on the beds as Applejack and Pinkie vacated the area, seeing pillows and hay thrown outside with them. “Pinkie Pie, what do we do?” Pinkie shrugged, making sure she moved away from another thrown pillow. ----- Athena perked up, seeing where Crusader was heading. “Oh pits, he’s heading for the farm!” This got Twilight’s attention. “I’ll just call..” She raised a hoof, then slammed it back down, “I gave him our bands!” “One sec.” Athena got a faraway look in her eyes. Applejack heard a voice through her link, “Applejack, Crusader’s on the way to the farm!” “WHAT?” Pinkie was looking at her as she got the word as well. They were both covered in hay from the continuing destruction of the interior of the barn. “He’s heading your way! Stop him!” Athena’s voice was getting frantic. “What can WE do?” Pinkie was looking really frantic. Applejack thought furiously, “Apple Bloom!” She yelled out over the yard, seeing the little filly come ripping around the corner. “Yeah Sis?” “I need you to get on down the road and stop Crusader from coming to the farm.” “Wha..but..how?” “Can’t you come up with somethin’? You and the Crusaders are always findin’ ways to do all sorts of stuff!” She gestured to the wrecked barn, “We gotta take care of this.” “I..oh stars.” The little pony was thinking for a minute, “Ah got it!” She tore out of the yard and headed down the road to where Crusader would be coming up to the farm. ----- Apple Bloom ran as fast as her little legs would take her, seeing the umber Earth Pony leisurely walking along the road, “Crusader!” The blue eyes turned warmly to her, he always taught her things, took time to patiently explain anything she wanted, “What can I do for you Apple Bloom?” “I..uh..oh darn..uhm, I need your help if’n ya would?” “Is something wrong?” “Oh no! Jes’ outta breath you know. I’m just a little filly after all!” She grinned up at him, causing him to smile back. “You will be as big as your sister soon I am sure. Enjoy the time while you have it.” The olivine filly scuffs a hoof, looking at the ground, “I know, everypony says so, but sometimes I’d like to be bigger.” She sighed, “And get mah Cutie Mark too.” Crusader moved off to the side of the road, settling in a patch of grass. He gestured with a hoof, “Come over and sit.” He had all the time in the world. Apple Bloom leaped over, happy for the chance to have a talk with him all alone. He looked at her carefully, “So, you are in a hurry to do all that?” “Well, sure! That’s why we’re always tryin’ our best.” Her face looked a bit frustrated as she moved a fore hoof around in the grass, “Can we go talk at the clubhouse?” She found she did wish to talk to him, an adult who listened instead of just saying things to make her feel better. “Of course.” He had plenty of time and Apple Bloom needed him. He would not refuse. They both got up, the filly chattering happily as they headed for the clubhouse, far enough away even he didn’t hear the finishing touches the yaks were putting on the barn before leaving down the same road. He did notice Pinkie had taken off by a rather circuitous route towards town. She was in quite a great rush. ----- “Are you sure this is going to work?” Fluttershy was looking nervous..well..more nervous than usual. “Yep! Make them feel right at home!” Pinkie gave her friend a reassuring smile, bouncing out to where the Yaks sat at a blanket, covered with a tea set that Fluttershy had brought from home. “And now, for your entertainment pleasure.... Presenting animals, Yakyakistani style!” A line of animals walk or waddle out from behind a tree, each wearing horns like the three Yaks themselves. Fluttershy watched nervously as they walked closer to the big representatives. Prince Rutherford snorted, “Animals cute.” The buttery Pegasus sighed, whispering to Pinkie, “Oh, thank goodness.” A duckling, wearing a horn that obscured its sight, couldn’t help but stumble and tip over, landing with a small thump on the ground. It yanked back, pulling the horn off itself and looking around. Rutherfords’ eyes went wide, “Wait! These antlers lie! These not Yakyakistani animals! Yaks smash!” All of them reared up, preparing to do the worst before Fluttershy zipped in the way, gathering the animals up and fleeing to the safety of a tree branch where she and Pinkie watched the destruction of her tea set. Pinkie looked slightly frustrated, “Okay, well... There’s still some other things we can do. I think.” ----- Crusader sat listening to Apple Bloom tell him about adventures, her concerns about growing up and becoming somepony worthwhile. She didn’t know exactly what she wanted to do, but wanted it to mean something. That he could understand. Wanting what you do to be important, to make it all worth doing. He smiled gently as she tried really hard not to bounce around the room. Her excitement and enthusiasm were infectious. They had been discussing things for just a little time really. She reminded him so much of Athena and her sister. The two voices rang through his memories with much joie de vivre. On the battlefield, on missions they were as professional as any Bolo. But when not there, in laager or depot, they were like eager children wanting to learn and do everything. Apple Bloom and her compatriots wanted to do the same. He was glad to assist in any way he could barring the creation of items that would cause mass destruction. He had caught Athena planning a few things with the Crusaders and warned her that under no circumstances should she fabricate anything for them without permission. “Oh mah gosh! It’s been hours! I’m so sorry to take all your time Crusader.” The voice brought him out of his reverie, focusing again on the filly as she stood up, looking out the window at the sun passing through the sky. It really hadn’t been that long, but to a young pony an hour is forever. “It is never a problem.” “Applejack said I shouldn’t bother ya too much.” “You are never a bother Apple Bloom, trust me.” She brightened up at that, “So ya think I’ll get a good Cutie Mark?” He tilted his head, looking at her once more, “I think it is not a matter of you getting a worthy Cutie Mark, but making sure the Cutie Mark is worthy of you.” “What does that mean?” She was getting up, opening the door so they could both leave the clubhouse. “It means that you are a good pony and that a Cutie Mark would have to be very special to be yours.” He poked her in the side, getting a giggle as they exited the clubhouse. “You really think so?” “I know so.” This cheered Apple Bloom immensely. She had really did enjoy talking with Crusader. It had started as a way to stall him, but once she’d began it had all come rolling out. He always made her feel better about herself when she was down or just thinking the world was against her ever getting a Mark. Athena was awesome in so many ways, but Crusader listened. Really listened to whatever she had to say. He never turned her away, nor did he ever make her feel like her concerns weren’t important. He took in every word and gave thoughtful answers. But this..this turned out really well! She felt so much better after talking with the gentle-voiced Earth pony..oh.. Bolo..yeah. Far as she was concerned he was a pony through and through and a really good friend. Crusader was listening to her talk while one side of his datacores were tracking Pinkie and Applejack. Pinkie had split off earlier while Applejack was already on her way to the castle again. He didn’t mind, the walk was nice. He had not had a chance to do so in a long while. After parting with a very happy Apple Bloom, he set out once again to the castle. Perhaps he could catch up with them there and deliver the bracelets at the same time. There was no worries as he had time. He did wonder if the negotiations were going well. Maybe he should check on the status later? Until then he was sure they probably had things under control. ----- The three Yaks almost filled the corner of little shop as Rarity was trotting back and forth, pulling out her best and brightest fabrics to show them, perhaps make something to fit a royal personage. “Yes! These are some of my favorite materials. Very rare, imported from the Crystal Empire to match your northern sensibilities.” She sat the flowing roll of sparkly material on a table turning around, “I hope you’ll find them....” She stopped a squeak or maybe even a yell of horror as the three yaks were chewing on the last half of the fabric piece she had just been showing them. “....delicious..” Rarity’s eyes were wide, seeing one of the finest and rarest of things in her shop getting mauled by Yaks. They spit the fabric out, letting it land wetly on the floor as Rarity looked on in horror. “This no taste like Yak fabric! Yaks destroy!” Once again the three representatives go on a rampage, stamping and butting everything in sight. In the case of the close and warm shop, that meant everything. Rarity hid behind a table, peeking out now and then only to duck a thrown roll of material or even..was that the head of one of her ponyquins? Pinkie was holding the severed head of another ‘quin on her forelegs, rocking back and forth as she listened to the roaring of the Yaks decimating Rarity’s place, “It’s okay. You’ll make it up to them..somehow.. yeah.” She peered over at the Unicorn and tried to smile, getting a look of pure fright in return. ----- Crusader saw the Yaks exiting Rarity’s shop. They were giving them quite the tour it appears, showing them everything that was good about Ponyville. A showcase of all the wonderful things would be sure to convince foreigners of their sincerity. He had her bracelet, simple enough to drop in and return it to her. Turning into the shop, he saw the inside was an absolute wasteland. It looked as if a small bomb had gone off inside. Fabric was torn and strewn everywhere, all the ponyquins were damaged or destroyed. Rarity was looking distraught. “What happened here?” Rarity’s eyes snapped to him, her smile nervous and unsure, “Oh! Creating unique things sometimes gets a bit messy..you...know..” She sat down suddenly and sighed. Her saddened gaze took in all the beautiful items that were unrecoverable. Crusader took a seat next to the mare, “Rarity, what happened?” “Those..those.. Yaks!” She snorted, stamping a hoof on the floor, “They destroyed everything!” “Why?” He listened while Rarity explained, eventually getting up and helping her get things in some sort of arrangement. He was piqued by the revelation that they had attempted to keep him away from this situation but he could fully understand. He was not the most diplomatic of personages some times. As he helped put things back in place, Rarity had to go. A meeting at the castle for an update had been requested by Twilight so she had to be there. He promised her he would finish up the cleaning as best he could. The delighted mare gave him a warm hug, leaving a scent of perfume in the air as she shot out the door. He had learned in the past long months, tempering his anger with patience. He had always done so, but in this new world it was called for instead of action most times. Crusader understood the meaning of restraint, but not when it came to battle. And not this, as he looked around the shattered boutique. Definitely not this. Dropping his saddlebags in a closet, he turned and left with a purpose. ----- Pinkie was trying her best, she really was. But this was an uphill battle. “Listen up! Tell your faces to hold onto their frowns, 'cause they’re about to get turned upside-down!” Pinkie was leading the three Yaks into a green field. She yelled out into the air, “Hit it, Rainbow Dash!” A huge cloud appeared overhead, shoved into place by Rainbow. She gave it a good kick and the lower half detached, landing with a thump and layering a huge amount of snow around them all. “Just like Yakyakistani snow right?” She gave Rainbow a hoofbump, “Because snow is snow no matter where it comes from.” Rutherford takes a taste of the fluffy white stuff, “This not Yak snow!” They proceed to trample the freshly fallen snow. “Seriously?” Pinkie was looking distraught now, “Seriously?” She planted her face into the snow and sighed. ----- The six gathered at the castle with Athena in tow, she had spotted Crusader entering Rarity’s boutique and had asked the Unicorn herself about it. The secret was out and now she only awaited the repercussions. He was keeping close-lipped, no TSDS, no communications whatsoever which made her nervous. Whenever he was silent, that was the most dangerous time. Twilight was tapping her hooves together lightly, “So... How’s it going?” Her eyes rested on Applejack first, switching from mare to mare. “Y’know...it’s..goin’ okay.” The farmer wouldn’t meet her eyes. Rarity was rubbing a hoof on the large table, “Satisfactorily I’d say.” Rainbow was leaning on one hoof, “It could be better.” Fluttershy was almost hiding under the table, “It’s not very good.” Pinkie threw her hooves out, “It’s a disaster!” Twilight was comforting, “It’s not that bad. Everything is going..well...kinda..maybe.. It’s not is it?” She was looking frantic once more as every head around the table shook in a negative response. Athena spoke up, “It’s really not.” The Princess inhaled then exhaled slowly, calming herself, “Pinkie Pie, tonight’s Yakyakistan themed party is more important than ever! You’ll make them forget all about this afternoon, right? Because if it’s not perfect, they’re gonna smash everything! And I’m not sure how much more smashing this visit can take!” The pink mare was looking more and more nervous, “I definitely will! I think. Maybe...?” Applejack tried another tack, laying a hoof on her friends shoulder, “You’re the best gosh-darn party planner in Equestria.” Rainbow nodded, “You’ll show them a good time!” Fluttershy agreed, “You can do it!” Rarity was looking calmer than before, “We have absolute confidence in your abilities, Pinkie Pie.” “It’s going to be my most happy-tacular party ever! I hope!” Her eyes flicked from side to side, wide and very very nervous, matching the grin on her face. Rainbow peered at her over the table, “Why are your eyes darting around like that?” Pinkie Pie laughed hysterically, “It’s what I do when I’m not nervous!” Twilight smiled, trying to reassure her friend, “Pinkie, I don’t know what we’d do without you.... “Me either! Gotta go!” The pink mare zipped out of the room, passing by Crusader who was standing in the doorway. Athena almost slapped her forehead, caught up in the conversation she had missed him coming into the castle and hadn’t warned anypony. She hated when he snuck up on her. Which really he didn’t do, she just lost track of things. It was becoming commonplace and it frustrated her. Organics did that, not Bolos. The umber form came in, taking a seat near the table and looking at the distraught faces. He remained that way for long enough that Athena was starting to get antsy, waiting for the explosion, the anger, something. Anything but this calm pony sitting there looking at the sighing mares. The calm voice carried further than she realized, he always managed that somehow, she’d never figured out what he did to make it so, “I am waiting for orders.” Twilight’s eyes snapped up from the table where she was gazing at nothing, “Orders? For what?” “To take care of this situation. I have tried to put Rarity’s shop back together as best I can, I assume that is what happened here in the castle as well from what Rarity has told me.” He turned his gaze on Athena for a brief moment. Athena didn’t meet his eyes, nodding slightly. “I understand why it was kept from me. I am trying to remain calm about this, but I will not tolerate this behavior, even from diplomats, for very long.” Athena could hear it, even if the others couldn’t. Scorn, disdain. Civility was always a big thing with him, respect given and earned. Right now those representatives deserved none of it from him, even if they were royalty. “We can’t do anything Crusader. This is so important for Equestria, the first time the Yaks have sent a delegation in hundreds of moons.” Twilight was leaning a cheek on one hoof, “Princess Celestia is counting on us to make a good impression.” “An impression is one thing. Wholesale destruction is another.” Rarity turned her gaze on him, “Not like we wanted it darling, they’re quite..impulsive.” Applejack sighed, “I...wouldn’t put it like that, but...yeah.” Rainbow threw her fore hooves out in exasperation, “We’re just trying to make them feel at home, you know? Like Yakyakistan!” Far be it for him to tell them how to secure diplomatic relations with a country, albeit even an unknown one like this Yakyakistan, “Then I will keep a closer eye on them for you.” Twilight sighed, eyeing him for a moment, “That would be okay. Just...don’t do anything okay?” “I will try not to.” He turned and left the room. Rarity eyed Athena for a moment, “He’s not very happy is he?” “No. No he’s not.” ----- The pink mare was about to pass out, she was hyperventilating so much, her breath coming in gasps as she talked to her companion. The ever-silent alligator that just stared at the pony. He didn’t understand what she talked about most times, but since he got the credit for a lot of ideas Gummy was pretty content. “Gummy, what am I gonna do? I had all this amazing stuff planned for the party, but they're gonna hate it! There's no way to make Equestria feel like Yakyakistan. They're just too sensitive! Even Fluttershy made them mad! Fluttershy! Oh... I need a new idea, and I need it now. How am I supposed to make this party feel like Yakyakistan without actually going there and bringing something back?!” She flopped on the couch again, eyes rolling in frustration. She picked the alligator up, moving to the window and watching the town below. Gummy’s tongue flicked out, giving her a wet kiss on the nose. “That’s it! Gummy you’re a genius!” Pink legs almost squeezed the stuffings out of the little alligator. She planted a warm kiss on his nose, dropping him on the bed as she made some preparations. ----- Twilight smiled as best she could, showing the delegation to Sugar Cube Corner. Crusader had trailed along, watching closely from behind with Athena as they entered the shop. She waved a hoof, “And this is Sugarcube Corner. They’re working hard to make your traditional Yakyakistani cake.” She let them see Mr. and Mrs. Cake preparing the batter with all the exactness their profession provided. Prince Rutherford snorted, “Vanilla extract very tricky.” His two companions nodded, “Uh-huh.” As they eyed the two bakers closely. Twilight grinned, she was doing that alot Athena noticed, slightly more nervous than usual which was saying something, “Uh, if you’ll excuse me for a moment.” She teleported out, leaving the three Yaks, Athena and Crusader alone in the store. Athena looked over at her brother. He had the usual calm, placid look on his face which in itself was disturbing. ----- Twilight popped into Pinkie’s room, not bothering to see if she was there before rattling off, “How’s tonight’s party coming? I'm doing what I can, but it's really up to you at this point!” She finally stopped, looking around and seeing nothing, “...Pinkie? Where are you?!” ----- “Stop eyeing them.” “I will not do anything inappropriate, I am only here to make sure.” “Glaring at them is going to cause a fight. Stop it.” “I am not glaring.” Athena glanced his way, “Well...well, you’re looking at them! Stop it!” “Fine.” Crusader wandered over to a booth, sitting down and looking for all the world like a customer, though one that kept staring at the Yaks. Most ponies were anyways, so it wasn’t much of a stretch to do so. Athena sighed and joined him, leaning a cheek on one hoof. She couldn’t win. ----- Crusader had given their bands back so she called everyone, telling them to do a search for Pinkie. She waited nervously up in the room, looking around while waiting for the results. She’d told them to report to her at Sugar Cube Corner when they had news. Meanwhile, she panicked. Athena had joined her, bored with sitting and watching the Yaks. Probably the most fun she’d had in days..not. She did leave with an admonition to Crusader not to start anything. He promised he wouldn’t. Funny, why did that make her even more suspicious? “It’ll be fine Twilight, honestly.” “But Pinkie’s not here! She’s gotta be here! The party is tonight!” Twilight was biting at one fore hoof, gnawing it furiously. “Maybe..” Athena thought furiously, “Maybe she’s just gone to get more supplies?” Twilight gave her a ‘really’ look, gesturing around to the packed room. “Oh..yeah.” The Pegasus shrugged, “It was an idea?” Giving Twilight a rueful smile. This broke the Alicorn’s nervousness as she laughed, nudging Athena, “It was.” The Princess spotted her friends coming upstairs, “Did you find her?” Fluttershy shook her head, “Angel and I searched the Forest..but..” Rainbow joined her, “Aerial recon turned up nothing either.” “I searched the farm inside and out.” Applejack shrugged, “No Pinkie Pie. But I did find a set of Granny Smith’s dentures under the house, so... not a complete loss.” She sighed and looked out the window. Rarity looked distraught, “She’s simply vanished!” Crusader’s voice came through the bracelets, “Drone surveillance shows nothing. Her band has been left behind in the room near you, I cannot track her.” They all turned to see it sitting on the side dresser. Twilight went back to nervous, “But the party! It’s all we have left! What are we gonna do?!” Gummy, who for some reason had been clinging to the ceiling, chose that moment to let go and land with a thud on Twilight’s head, surprising everypony in the room. The toothless reptile proceeded to make quite the disgusting barfing sound, tossing up a letter which was covered in saliva, almost smearing the written words on it. Twilight grabbed it with a spell, levitating it in front of her eyes and reading quickly, ‘Don’t worry. I’ll be back in time for the party. Love, Pinkie Pie.” She tried to look confident and failed, “If Pinkie Pie says she’ll be back in time for the party, she’ll be back. We have to trust her. Right?” She laughed, breaking up nervously, “No reason to freak out!” Fluttershy nodded with the others, “Don’t worry Twilight.” Applejack exchanged glances with Rarity, “When it comes to parties I think she knows what she’s doin’.” Twilight does her Zen thing, almost making Athena laugh, “You’re right. Let’s just focus on keeping the Yaks happy ‘til she’s back. Rainbow grinned, “Piece o’cake!” Twilight’s eyes popped open wide, “The cake!!” Rainbow’s look mirrored hers, “We left Crusader down there!” They all turned as one for the stairs. Twilight teleporting out. ----- Crusader watched as the Cakes finished the..well..cake. It was truly something to see, the frosting layered just so, each ingredient measured once and again. Baked at a certain temperature. It was all an artistic endeavor to his mind. It was far beyond just skill, it was a glimpse into a life of doing what one loved. He had to give credit where credit was due, the Cakes were masters of their craft. Mrs. Cake smiled brightly, always proud of her creations, “One bite and you’ll be transported right back to Yakyakistan!” Though this time she laughed a bit shakily, “I hope.” Prince Rutherford leaned forward, taking a messy bite out of the beautifully made item and chewed noisily. “Hmmm...Ponies too heavy on the vanilla extract!” The three gave out a loud roar and reared back.. “BWAAAH!” Crusader moved. He was out of his seat like a shot, heavy hooves pounding the floorboards as he suddenly appeared in front of the angry Yaks, “You will not do any damage here.” His face was showing distinct anger. This surprised the Cakes who were watching because they’d always known him to be very polite. “Out of the way little pony! Yaks smash!” The three shaggy figures faced him full on. “No, I do not think you will. Leave now.” Crusader was being very, very polite as Athena watched from the stairs, no one moved. No one dared interrupt the face-off in case something else was triggered. She looked at Twilight, making a ‘stay there’ motion as they came down quietly into the main room. The tension was high as the umber pony stood looking at the three larger figures. He did not threaten, he did not say anything else but... “Please leave. Now.” “Yaks think cake fake! Yaks smash!” Crusader had to admit, they were adamant. But they were not going to wreck anything here. “Of course the cake was fake, it was not made in Yakyakistan. Can you understand that?” Crusader wanted to add a few punches to make sure the words got through the probably thick skulls, but he had promised not to start anything. The three Yaks looked at each other, well...as far as he could tell, the one designated Prince Rutherford nodded, “Very true.” He pointed a hoof, “So Yaks smash!” Crusader wished for the hundredth time he could sigh out loud, “No. You will not smash anything in here. Why not go to the forest, lots of things to see there.” “Forest like Yakyakistani forest?” The Earth Pony opened his mouth, then closed it. Forest, in the far north? This was getting ridiculous, “Almost, but I’m sure it could use your opinion on if it does look like a Yakyakistani forest.” He pointed out the door. “If forest fake! Yaks smash!” The three ran through the door, closed after the last customer went through, throwing it off it’s hinges and making a large hole in the wall as they headed for the forest. Crusader just sat and stared at the opening as the others joined him. “Big hole there,” Applejack, Mistress of the Obvious. “Yes, yes it is.” “So, now they’ve gone to smash up the Everfree. Nice.” The farm mare gave him a nudge, chuckling to herself. Twilight walked over and leaned against the counter, “Better than them smashing up Sugar Cube Corner.” Everyone in attendance nodded, the Cakes looking visibly relieved as their place of business hadn’t been wrecked. “We’re so grateful, thank you Crusader.” Mrs. Cake was a wonderful lady really, always gracious. “You are welcome.” “Sooo...seeing as there’s a whole cake here that’s barely been touched...” Rainbow was eyeing one of the treats sitting on the counter. “Oh no, you don’t want that.” Mr. Cake grabbed it quickly, tossing it in the trash, “How about some fresh made pie to celebrate the saving of our store?” He quickly laid out a selection of slices, Key Lime, Meringue, Chocolate Silk, so many. Thank you’s were quickly given, each pony getting a large piece of whichever they wished. Crusader just sat off to the side, watching the three shaggy forms in a drone view, hammering their way through a small patch of forest. Birds and animals running for cover. “What’re they doin’ now?” Applejack brought him a slice of pie, setting it down on the table in front of him. “Currently trying to destroy the Everfree.” She laughed, “Good luck with that one.” “I give them credit, they are persistent.” “They are, but I sure wish they’d quit breakin’ things.” “Me too!” Twilight joined them at the table, “It all comes down to the party this evening and Pinkie’s missing. I really hope she makes it back in time.” She held a fork with her magic, picking at the delicious looking pie. “If anypony can do something, it’s our dear Pinkie Pie.” Rarity sat demurely with them, taking a precise bite of her food. “Yeah, don’t get worried, Pinkie can do..well...pretty much anything!” Rainbow appeared to be on her second piece, free food never going to waste around her. “Hopefully the party will go great and we won’t have to worry anymore.” Fluttershy swung into a seat, digging into her plate. Twilight nodded, “I know, I know.” She looked out the window, dreading the return of the Yaks, “We’ve never needed a party so badly.” ----- The train chugged reassuringly as Pinkie talked out loud, her hooves making motions as the rest of the ponies in the train car stayed well away from her, since there was nobody in the seat next to her, but she was still having quite the conversation. The conductor came walking through the car, “Next stop! The Crystal Empire!” Leaving out the other end after giving a glance to the strange pink mare. “And so my quest begins. I know what you’re thinking, ‘Why go to Yakyakistan alone, Pinkie Pie?” Because I’m the party planner. This burden falls on my rump and my rump alone.” She slapped her Cutie Mark, making sure it was her rump, Pinkie never knew when things would go missing. “If I want a great party, I gotta climb the mountains north of the Crystal Empire, find Yakyakistan, and come back with something authentic!” She leaned over and pulled the paper from in front of another pony’s face, “Know what I mean?” The train suddenly lurched forward, the brakes squealing and hissing from the effort as it came to an abrupt halt on the tracks. Pinkies’ ears perked up and she ran outside looking around, “Did we go the wrong way? Where’s all the snow? Please tell me this is magical sand-colored snow!” She took a mouthful of it, spitting it to the side, “Nope! Sand. Definitely sand.” She scrubbed at her tongue while the conductor came down the steps. “Dodge City. End of the line I’m afraid. All trains had to stop. Sheep decided to sit on the tracks.” He pointed to where a gathering of sheep were splayed on the tracks. Pinkie waved a hoof at the crowd, “Curse you sheep! Thanks for your help conductor.” She waved, bouncing off into the town trying to think of a way to get to the Empire once more. A door swung open on what appeared to be an outhouse, slamming into Pinkie who ended up in a heap on the ground. A pale yellow mare, curvy and quite good looking, crimson mane piled in an elaborate mound on her head, stepped out and started to walk down the street. “Cherry Jubilee!” Pinkie’s excited voice attracted her attention, turning eyes on the pink mare laying on the ground. “Pinkie Pie? Well, what are ya doin’ all the way down there? Come on up here!” She held out a hoof, pulling Pinkie up on her own four. “How are you?” Pinkie was grinning, “You look amazing!” She grabbed the brassy mare by her bow and yanked her close with a helpless face, “I need help!” The mare laughed, pushing Pinkie away to get some room, “I’m dandy as a daffodil and fit as a floribunda. What can I do ya for?” Pinkie made exuberant gestures, “Have you heard of Yakyakistan? Do you have any idea how I can get there?” The yellow mare zipped over to her side, giving Pinkie a hug and leading her down the dirt road, “Mark your calender missy, ‘cause this right here’s your lucky day! I’m headin’ north to the Crystal Empire myself for a delivery.” She pointed at a wagon heaped and piled high with fresh cherries, “I ought to warn you though...me and the boys are powerful tired ‘cause we was up all night countin’ cherries.” She slapped a big stallion on the shoulder, “Hey there! Wake up!” He snorted, shaking his head and looking bleary. Climbing into the drivers seat, Pinkie followed, planting herself in the back and looking at the bushels of fruit. “Counting cherries? How many?” Cherry settled herself in and took the reins in her hooves, “Four hundred seventeen thousand, two hundred and thirty-four.” She snapped the lines, the four stallions picking their hooves up and taking off, “Yee-haw!” “Whoa!” Pinkie held on for dear life as they sped out of town. Looking at the receding town, she spoke once more, “And so, my quest resumes. As I stare across the endless desert, I tell myself I will soon triumphantly enter the homeland of out noble guests and return with a prize to make the best party they’ve ever seen!” She flipped around, “Know what I mean?” Cherry Jubilee was laying on the seat, looking peaceful and sawing logs like there was a forest to be felled. “Cherry?” Pinkie squinted hard, looking to where they were headed and seeing a drop-off. “Ravine. RAVINE!” She shook Cherry, all the while keeping an eye on the cliff getting closer. “Come on! Wake up!” She found an alarm clock in her mane, letting it go off while she found some water in the back for the stallions up front, splashing Cherry with it to no avail. Grabbing the reins she yanked hard on them, pulling with every bit of strength she had, which turned out to be a good thing as the stallions up front opened their eyes at the pull, slamming their hooves deep into the desert sand and coming to a halt almost over the drop as Pinkie kept pulling. She lifted the entire bar and the four stallions in their harnesses up and back over the front seat. The four ponies slipped out and fell on top of her as the wagon stood still on an overhanging ledge. Cherry chose that time to wake up, looking around and planting a hoof on her chest, “What? Huh? Whoa! I was dreamin’ about a ravine!” She looked down, catching sight of the long fall beneath her, “RAVINE!” She leapt backwards, seeing the stallions and Pinkie piled into the wagon. Pinkie looked up at the frightened mare, “That’s what I said!” They stared at each other for a moment before a loud cracking sound could be heard, Pinkie smiled helplessly at Cherry as the wagon tilted forward, then the rest of the ledge broke off, plunging the wagon into a long fall! ----- “It’s early, we’ve got time. Besides, they really wrecked that patch of forest.” Athena was chatting with Crusader and Rainbow who were watching the Yaks cleaning themselves off, quite messily, at the fountain in town. “Yes. The ‘noble warriors’ certainly put the fear of themselves into defenseless trees and rabbits.” The sarcasm was so plain even Rainbow chuckled, giving the Earth pony a nudge. “Heh! Yeah, too bad you drove the Chimera away. That woulda have been something to see.” The cyan mare laughed louder, giving a wink to Athena. As the Yak delegation was trashing the forest for being ‘fake’, a Chimera had wandered out to see what the commotion was. Crusader had carefully directed a drone under cover of light-bending shielding to put a few rounds near it, driving it back into the darkness from whence it came. The animals of the forest knew the sound of rapid firing guns now, staying well away from anything that emitted it. “That’s all we’d need," Athena was trying not to laugh, “Explaining to Yakyakistan how their Prince was eaten.” “Nah, we’d just send them the parts left over.” Rainbow got a wide grin and giggled madly. Athena‘s face look shocked, “Rainbow!” A magenta eye winked at her friend, “What?” Seeing her aghast at the Pegasus’ statement. “That’s awful!” “She has been hanging around you too much my sister.” The calm voice drew their attention, seeing the very slight smile on the umber face. “She has not! I don’t..well..I do! But she shouldn’t say them!” “Do as I say, not as I do Athena? Et tu?” The sable Pegasus pointed a hoof, “Oh, don’t you go quoting things to me! I am not teaching Rainbow to be that way!” Crusader replied softly, “And oftentimes excusing of a fault doth make the fault the worse by the excuse.” “I ..I didn’t..you..” Athena stamped a hoof to Rainbow’s amusement, “I hate you.” “The private wound is deepest: O time most accurs’d. ‘Mongst all foes that a friend should be the worst.” The Earth pony puts a hoof on his chest as he tries to look pained. Lavender eyes are rolled, “Oh stop it, nopony cares for quotes they don’t understand.” Crusader kept the hoof planted firmly, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” That did it. Athena turned, pointing at him, “I swear, one more and I’m gonna..” An attentive look crossed the faux pony’s face, “Pow! Right in the kisser?” Catching Athena off guard, used to obscure and flowery phrases from him, this simple sentence threw her completely for a loop. The sable butt hit the dirt as she actually opened and closed her mouth a few times, not knowing what to say as even the TSDS communications dropped for just a split second. “Where did..you.. AGH!” She threw her hooves up and stamped away with a nasty glare at him, leaving behind a laughing Rainbow Dash. She turned to Crusader, lifting a hoof and getting it bumped in return, “I didn’t understand all of that stuff, but just the look on her face was worth it.” “Yes, yes it was.” ----- “Wow, you guys are lifesavers!” Pinkie was grinning happily up at a uniformed Pegasus, “Without you we’d have been little pasty smears at the bottom of the ravine!” A raspy voice laughed in return, “Lucky we heard you screaming all the way down, otherwise we’d have kept going.” Spitfire tossed her head towards her compatriots who were busy carrying the wagon. It was taking the whole squad to do so, but they were well trained. Cherry Jubilees’ face showed her merriment, “I’m sure ya did. Pinkie can yell like nopony.” The pink mare blushed, “Well...it was a deep ravine. Sooooo a lot of screaming.” She tapped her forehooves together lightly, trying to look braver than she had been, “Can you take me by way of Yakyakistan? I really really REALLY need to get there!” Fleetfoot shook her head, “We’re due for a show in Manehatten in a few hours, we can drop you there.” “Aw cherry pits!” Pinkie glanced at Cherry, “Sorry Cherry.” The Earth mare gave a laugh, “No problem there Pinkie, hate ‘em too!” Pinkie leaned on a rail, looking down at the passing landscape, “Once again I continue my quest. Forward for my friends, for a party, for Equestria! To find that one thing that’ll make it super-special and the best one ever!” She raised a hoof in a salute, “I’ll come back victorious!” Spitfire hovered close to Cherry, “Who’s she talking to?” The yellow mare shrugged, “I’m not sure, she’s been doing that the whole time.” ----- “Okay. We’ve got to keep them busy, does anypony have any ideas?” Twilight was smiling again, that very special ‘I’m three seconds from a total freakout’ look. “Perhaps a show consisting of Interpretive Dance accompanied by a dissonant flute and a narrator to tell the story of Equestria.” Crusader’s voice was even in the quiet room where they had all taken a moment to brainstorm. Twilight leaned over the table, “Can you do that?” “I was joking.” He was slapped on the shoulder by a hard hoof, Applejack giving him the eye, “You’re not helping.” He turned a placid face towards her, “Neither are they. Destroying things that they declare are not Yakyakistani is making it difficult to keep things from getting worse.” Fluttershy sighed, “They even stomped on the flowers the Flower Sisters tried to give them.” Rainbow nodded, “That got ugly fast. I mean, who tramples a bunch of roses? Who does that?” “They do apparently.” Athena was hanging her head over the edge of the table, “Seems they’re wanting everything to be ‘like Yakyakistan’.” “Is Daisy all right?” Twilight was asking Rarity who had come to the rescue by distracting the Yaks. “Oh yes, she’s quite miffed at the Yaks, but other than that....” She shrugged, giving a sigh, “She said the Crown will get the bill.” Twilight sighed, “This is quickly turning into a disaster.” She placed her hooves on either side of her head, leaning her elbows on the table, “Princess Celestia is not going to be happy.” “Aw, sugarcube. It’ll be fine, you’ll think of something.” Applejack’s voice was comforting, “They’re jes’ a mite stubborn about things.” “Very much the understatement.” “You need to shush mister, ah saw your face in Sugar Cube Corner and you weren’t happy. Doncha go startin’ no fights, you hear me?” Her voice brooked no dissent. “Yes, my Applejack.” Athena hid a smile behind a hoof, she could feel the anger simmering below the surface in his thoughts. The wanton destruction was causing him to slowly come to a boil. He was not happy, but he would never disobey Applejack. He really was being patient, even helping restore the destroyed flower beds that Rose was distraught over. Tech spiders are such wonderful items. But even Athena was getting frustrated with the absolute inability to please these representatives. “Wait! I got it!” Twilight’s eyes lit up, “Isn’t Satin Shoes in town? Setting up to teach the schoolponies for a few days?” She looked directly at Athena who brightened. “Yes! She is!” Twilight got a sly grin on her face, looking at everypony around the table, “Maybe we can do that dance after all!” ----- “Thanks Spitfire!” The pink mare waved happily from the street as the Wonderbolts took off. They’d all been dropped off outside of Manehatten by the squadron and told good luck. Cherry Jubilee had to get the wagon repaired and get some sleep, they all needed it, so wouldn’t be available until tomorrow at the earliest. That was just too late for Pinkie, she needed to get to the Crystal Empire fast! Pronking along the street, she was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t stop in time when she ran headfirst into a somewhat wide Unicorn, accompanied by four others wearing striped suits and fedoras. The coffee that the pony was carrying spilled all over the expensive looking suit jacket he was wearing, causing him to look at the pink mare with an expression of pique. “Ohmygosh! I am SO sorry! I didn’t...” She squeaked as the four large ponies picked her up at a nod of the one and carried her off into a local building. This wasn’t looking good. She found herself dumped onto a carpeted floor while the older looking pony took a seat behind a very large, expensive desk that looked really old! Wow. She looked around, everything in here looked really expensive! Like..like a museum or something! A throat being cleared made her focus, turning to see the four larger ponies stand nearby the older one as he looked at her for a long moment, making her twist her hooves in front of her as she got nervous. “I..uh..really am sorry. I can get a new coffee for you, maybe pay for..” She stopped as a hoof was held up, making her twist her hooves again. “Do you know who I am?” The voice was soft, as if spoken by a pony with a mouthful of cotton. “I..uh..maybe?” Pinkie grinned, “Uh..no..not really.” Her face dropped into a distraught expression. “I, for lack of a better term, am the leader of the largest syndicate in Manehatten.” He leaned forward, pointing a hoof, “And you have just ruined a very expensive suit jacket.” “Soooo..like...a MobFather? MobStallion...?” Pinkie tapped a hoof on her chin, pursing her lips as she narrowed her eyes in thought, totally ignoring the looks given her by the enforcers around the stallion trying to talk to her. “We’ve really gotta find a cool name for you....EEEP!” The four bodyguards had picked her up, making her face the unhappy mob boss. “Uhm..maybe later?” She proffered a nervous smile. A perfectly hooficured hoof tapped the wooden desk, narrowed eyes watched her for a long moment, “As I was saying, you have ruined a very expensive one of a kind suit. What should we do about this?” Pinkie’s blue eyes wandered as she thought furiously. She did not have that many bits on her, not thinking she’d need a whole lot and leaving most at home. There was no way she could pay for a new one, maybe..maybe cleaning? Magic could do a lot... Sharp ears caught the stallion saying something else. “Bought on order from a designer named Rarity, cost a....” Rarity? Rarity made the suit? She tried to remember what the Unicorn had said about cleaning her fabrics. Shoot, she shoulda paid more attention! What was it..what was it? “Baking soda!” Her high voice yelled it out loud, silencing the talking mob boss. “What?” “Baking soda! Rarity always said in a pinch you can use it to clean things, though you gotta be careful!” A pink hoof was waved warningly in the surprised boss’ face. “You know Rarity?” The big pony looked surprised. “Yep! Bestest friends and everything!” Pinkie, being Pinkie, wriggled out of the hold of the four thugs, grabbing the stained coat off a surprised pony and rushing to find a bathroom. Baking soda was useful for tons of stuff, she always carried some! The others tried to follow her, but lost the pink mare quickly, shrugging at each other and wondering how when she returned with a sparkling clean suit jacket. She was showing it off to the surprised mobsters who wondered where she’d come from. “See? No problem! ....EEP!” She was doing that a lot, being grabbed up and dumped once more in front of the boss. Sharp eyes looked at the jacket, having it brought to him behind the desk he eyed it critically, seeing not a trace of the stain from the coffee. “Very nice.” “Thanks! Rarity always has good ideas for cleaning!” How well Pinkie knew that when dealing with the somewhat dirt avoiding mare. Somewhat, yeah right. She snorted, bringing herself out of the weird world that was her mind and back to the here and now. The mobster shrugged it on once more, “I would have not liked to do anything..untoward..on this, the day of my only filly’s wedding.” Pinkie could connect with that, nodding happily, “Weddings are awesome!” A heavy sigh, “If only.” The heavyset pony heaved himself out of the chair, the bodyguards deferring and letting him pace the expensively carpeted floor. “The musicians canceled on me. Me! Of all ponies even I couldn’t get them to reconsider.” A hoof rubbed a wrinkled forehead, “The cake is not as good as it could be, the premier baker in Manehatten is on vacation of all things! My little filly will be so disappointed in her father for putting on such a disaster.” His face looked very angry, “I do not like to have her disappointed.” The lead bodyguard tried to be consoling, his voice carrying a heavy Manehatten accent, “It’s okay boss, you’ll figure out somethin’. Me ‘n the colts can go lean on a few ponies.” “No. Nono, not for my precious Raindrop, she wouldn’t be happy with that at all.” Pinkie understood this, weddings, parties, it was all the same. The pink mare zoomed over to the boss pony, wrapping a pink leg around the thick neck and pulled him close as the bodyguards gasped with this breach of etiquette. A smile on her face broadened into a sly look as she leaned in to say, “Do you know who I am?” ----- “We are so sorry Satin.” Twilight was looking at the mare who sat in front of her, trying to keep her eyes from rolling around. “It’s..” Satin tapped the side of her head with a hoof, making her eyes straighten out, “It’s okay. Really.” “Darling, we swear we didn’t know that they’d take offense to a single misstep.” Rarity was looking over the pretty mare, making sure no damage went unfixed along her mane. Crusader was outside, keeping a close eye on the Yaks who had almost destroyed the stage before being distracted by Twilight once again. His battle blood was up now, seeing Athena’s friend treated badly. The delegation had not stamped on everything as throughly this time, perhaps they were getting tired of wrecking things. But he doubted it, either way he was watching them closely. Twilight had stopped him from stepping in fully this time, seeing the look on his face and realizing, correctly, that he was going to get into a fight. He watched the three shaggy figures walk off into the town. Probably looking for something else to stomp. Idiots. He tasked multiple drones in the skies above to keep surveillance constant. His patience was wearing thin. Nothing the others could do would please these...Yaks. One mistake, one simple little thing and they trashed a place. He was getting very weary of being nice. “The..” Satin staggered to her hooves, making sure her legs worked, “The schoolponies are okay?” “They’re fine, they thought it was a great show.” They had, cheering at the destruction with a young ones enthusiasm. Satin was becoming a mistress of dance. She’d studied even before the day Athena had been Regent, wanting to do nothing but. Different cultures, different styles, she studied them all. They had found out that she actually knew a couple of the Yakyakistani dances, having read of them in the Canterlot Archives while doing research. With a brave face and a courageous heart she’d attempted to do a small showing for the delegates. One misplaced hoof was noticed, causing the usual roar and carnage of inanimate objects. Even Rainbow Dash was starting to be impressed at the level of destruction. She’d barely gotten out of the way when the stage near the school was attacked by angry Yaks. Getting tossed tail over mane when the floor gave way under the pounding, landing hard in the grass. The musicians were lucky, they’d been to the side when it all fell apart, making an escape with their precious instruments. The school ponies, on the other hoof, thought it a great show. Dancing and music ending with things going to pieces. All the adults had quickly shepherded them away after the ruckus started, leaving the friends with a totaled stage and a dizzy Satin. “It’s fine”, Satin’s lilting voice was calm, “Maybe I need to study just a bit harder. Wouldn’t want another audience to demolish a stage now would we?” She grinned, getting smiles returned in kind. “Let me at least see you to your room, the least we can do is make sure you’re in good shape.” Rarity didn’t take no for an answer, nudging the Unicorn off towards her rented room to cleanup and rest. Satin waved as she trotted off, “Oh! Don’t forget! Helping Hooves Music Festival is coming up! I’ll see you all there!” They made sure she was out of sight before slamming their backsides in the dirt, all of them looking discouraged. “We can’t give up! We’ll keep doing what we can until Pinkie gets back.” Twilight stood up, looking at the down faces, “We can do this, we can!” “Ah guess you’re right, we’ll just have to find somethin’ to keep ‘em busy.” Applejack scuffed a hoof in the dirt. Fluttershy ventured in her soft voice, “What can we do?” “I don’t know, but we’ll think of something!” Twilight nodded to them and herself, there was always a way! ----- Pinkie grabbed the microphone, singing to the gathered crowd. Heavy chords thrashed through the air as ponies screamed and yelled. The drummer was hammering the skins, the guitarists were laying down tracks like nothing anypony ever heard! The chorus of voices joined in on the first verse with a harmony that almost brought the house down! “I want it all!” Pinkie almost screamed into the microphone, “YeeeaaaAAHAHA!” “I want it all! I want it all! And I want it NOW!” The sound from the speakers tore through the daytime air, throbbing in time with the lead guitarist who was absolutely shredding the intro! Pinkie hung onto the mic stand. Somewhere she had found a black jacket, her legs had bands with metal points on them, her mane stood up fluffier than ever before, looking like the total metal rocker-mare. The spikes and studs reflected the sun as she bounced on the stage, her face showing concentration as she sang to the eager crowd! “Adventure seeker, with awesome moves, Just a pink mare who’s, light on her hooves A young pony partying, with no time for doubt All the fun and laughter, I don’t want a way out! It ain’t much I’m asking, you can hear me say I found me a future, move outta my way! I want it all! I want it all! I want it all, and I want it now! I want it all! I want it all! I want it all, and I want it now! Listen all you ponies, come gather round I got me here a game plan, gonna shake you to the ground Just a smile, what I know is mine Ponies do you hear me? Just give me that sign! It ain’t much I’m askin’, you can hear me say! Here’s to the future, get out of our way!” The band came back in, slamming with the guitars and drums, the beat pounding the crowd which was cheering so loudly they could be heard blocks away. Pinkie was grinning like a mad mare as she posed on the stage. Security was having a hard time keeping ponies from rushing the stage, she reached down and slapped hooves with everypony she could reach, all of them yelling for more! “I want it all! I want it all! I want it all! And I want it now! I want it all! Yes, I want it all! I want it all! I want it all! And I want it NOOOOOOOOOW!” “I’m a mare with a one track mind So many parties, in one lifetime Not a mare for compromise, the where’s and why’s of baking pies So I’m living it all, yes I’m living it all! And I’m giving it all, and I’m giving it all” She leaned down and pointed to the crowd, “To YOU!” The lead guitar came in again, with the bassist and rhythm guitars stepping forward and rocking the crowd like nopony ever had! The drummer was tossing his mane around, getting the sweat out of his eyes as he kept beating like there was no tomorrow! While they were doing that, Pinkie put on a show for the crowd, posing for pictures, hoof-bumps all around as she saw the new couple dancing wildly in the crowd. At first the boss, whose name was Pinstripe, funny that... Anyways, he was skeptical she could do what she said when Pinkie offered to plan the wedding. There wasn’t much time so she went to work immediately. Pinstripe had thrown his resources behind her, meaning a group of very large, mean-looking ponies went shopping with her as she grabbed everything she needed on his tab. The cake, well.... Pinkie put her skills to use and she could barely see it over the hooves in the air. It was only a ten-tier, creme-filled half chocolate, half-vanilla cake with white fudge frosting and hoof-made candy statues of ponies leaping through hearts on it. Likenesses of the bride and groom stood tall on the very tippy-top. She was in a rush, so it wasn’t her best work. Decorations flowed from the tables. It was being held in a huge area in the Manehatten Central Park, so flowers where everywhere with ribbons and bows to delight the eyes. Balloons brightened the skies in large groups, gotta have balloons she thought. The music had been a bit tougher. The Manehatten Symphony Orchestra apologized, but they had a previous engagement. The conductor looked quite nervous saying no to the big Earth ponies and Unicorns that were Pinkie’s ‘escorts’ for the day. No hard feelings, Pinkie understood about promises, though she had to keep her new friends from ‘convincing’ the conductor it might be in his best interest to help. She had run into a band playing in a club as they passed by, the singer had just quit so when Pinkie offered it was taken up. She had them and their equipment towed to the wedding and set up even quicker. The ‘escorts’ were very efficient on getting things done just right. Actually the escorts were pretty nice ponies, helping her pick the right flowers out at the big shop and glaring at any passerby who even thought about saying anything about the enforcers for a mob boss talking about Chrysanthemums versus Roses. Speaking of Pinstripe, he and his wife were out there in the crowd right now, she could see them dancing to the music along with his daughter Raindrop and her groom. They were having the time of their lives at the best wedding/concert ever. He also said he’d get Pinkie to the Crystal Empire soonest, so there was that. She’d be on her way soon, but the band had been signed for a gig at the Aces Club, so she had a commitment. But Pinstripe said he’d have his ponies come get her when it was time. She’d be on her way again in no time! But until then.... “It ain’t much I’m asking, can you hear me say Get rocking ponies, let them hear us par-TAY! I want it all, I want it all, I want it all and I want it now! I want it all, I want it all, I want it all and I want it now!” ----- “It is a complete loss. Did they really have to do that?” Crusader was looking at the wreckage of what used to be a technical spider, one of the Medical Specialty ones. He had thought to give it all one last try at a peaceful solution. “It.. I’m so sorry. I thought maybe..doing something nice for them, making sure they were healthy and all that.” Athena pushed a piece of thin metal over, she couldn’t believe it was destroyed this badly. “An admirable idea sister. But it seems that anything they cannot fully understand comes under the heading of ‘smash’. We will be down one Medical Unit for the while until I can remake it. If I can.” Another spider was collecting the pieces, putting it in a bin for reuse, hopefully they could fabricate another to replace it. This was a highly specialized piece of equipment and needed skill to maintain much less make. The Pegasus tried to look hopeful, “We’ve bought some time at least.” “That we have. Maybe it will help.” Athena hugged her brother, “I’m really sorry.” He gave her a small smile as she pulled back, “Stop worrying, it will be fine.” The Pegasus nodded, “Did you get any scan information at all?” “I am afraid not. They attacked as soon as it came around the corner.” They both watched the spider waddle off, heading back to the safety of his hull out of sight of the Yaks. Drones were telling them that the representatives were wandering the town still. The Pegasus scuffed a hoof in the dirt, looking around quickly before whispering, “I know we’re supposed to be nice and all. But I really hope they get fleas. Lots of fleas. Big, nasty, vicious Yak-eating fleas.” Athena glanced his way, seeing an amused look and bright blue eyes almost laughing at her wish. The look disappeared quickly, “Shall we go see what the others have come up with?” “Let’s go!” ----- Pinkie waved a hoof at the biggest of her new friends, a serious-looking Unicorn named Breaker who had been sent with a few others to get Pinkie on a private train car heading for the Crystal Empire. “And can you believe they wanted to all start solo careers? I mean seriously, we just played the Arena and they’re doing THAT?” She slumped on the train platform, “Nopony has any stick-to-it-tiveness I tell you!” Breaker wasn’t quite sure what to make of the pink mare but he listened and nodded at what he hoped were the right places, watching the train slow to a stop with a hiss of steam. Pinkie grabbed her bag containing souvenirs of the shortest, most successful one hit wonder band of all time in Equestria and hopped up on her hooves. “Give Pinstripe my best! And tell everypony thanks!” She bounced into the train, the conductor showing her to a whole car he said was to be hers for the trip out. She immediately leaned out the window, yelling goodbyes to all her new friends. The group of ‘escorts’ as they politely called themselves gave her waves in return as the train pulled out again quickly. Her eyes took in the almost royal-like accommodations. Cold things to drink, food laid out for snacking and..ooooo! A big basket of candied fruit with a note thanking her for the wedding was on a table inside the plush car. Included was a picture of the gangster, his wife, their daughter with her groom, all smiling in front of the huge cake she’d made. “Awwwww!” She held the picture out, enjoying the moment. The missive also said if she needed anything, anything at all, just to let him know. Pinkie filed that away for future reference for..like..maybe if she needed somepony leaned on? Or maybe not. She still wasn’t quite sure exactly what being ‘leaned on’ meant, but it was a nice thought! She leaned back in a huge plush couch, sinking into the cushions with a sigh and popping a sugared grape into her mouth. She was going to come back with the most awesomest thing ever for the party tonight, she was sure of it! She snapped upwards, wait... Didn’t the conductor say all trains had stopped cause sheep were on the tracks? No! Nono! She couldn’t be stopped now! Leaning out of the window, she saw something ahead. Running flat out and ignoring the passengers in other cars she ended up on top of the engine, hoof shading her eyes as she made out what was going on. Fedora wearing ponies were in a line glaring at a group of sheep who looked way WAY more frightened than sheep normally were, keeping them off the tracks and giving her a wave as the train chugged on by. Pinkie blinked as she smiled and returned the waves, making her way back to her private car. Wow! Pinstripe had told her he’d make sure she got through, but that.. He’s gooooood! Sipping on a bottle of ice-cold orange juice, she wondered if her friends back in Ponyville were doing all right? Hadn’t they saved Equestria like a billion times now? Pinkie was posi-abso-tively sure they could take care of any problems! ----- Twilight was going to lose her mind. She was positively, absolutely, one-hundred percent sure that little bit of gray matter was going to abandon her any second, “What happened?” She was looking at the most bedraggled collection of ponies she had ever seen in.. well..probably ever! Granite and Bastion Boulder were about the two sturdiest Earth ponies alive, barring Big Mac and Bulk. They had proved their mettle time and time again when called upon. Stonewall was the same, the oversized Pegasus was a mainstay of the weather teams some days, facing the fiercest storms head on. Nurse Redheart finished putting a med-pak on Stonewall, giving him a pat on the shoulder and telling him he’d be fine. Bars was there, making sure everypony was well before answering Twilight, “They were just caught in the..well..destruction.” He gestured to where Golden Harvest sat looking sadly at a busted up stand where she had previously sold her produce. “Those Yaks decided the carrots they had purchased were not Yak carrots....so..” He pointed again. “My colts here decided to try and stop them, bad decision, but I can’t fault them. Stonewall tried to help.” Twilight sighed, “This is becoming a real problem. They seem to be offended every time we try and make them feel at home.” “Don’t know what to tell you Princess.” “Well, thank you all for trying to help, it’s appreciated.” She smiled at the roughed up ponies who waved back cheerfully. Just another day. She stopped by Golden and told her they’d do whatever they could to get her stand back together. The mare was very appreciative of the offer, brightening her mood. As Twilight trotted off towards the castle she wondered if Crusader could make the vegetable stand out of that incredibly hard metal they rebuilt Fluttershy’s house with? That’d stop those..those..she really shouldnt think that. Agh, what a mess! ----- Princess Cadance was there at the train station as it pulled in, giving the bouncing mare a puzzled look, “How did you get through? The train masters said that the trains were stopped because of sheep on the tracks.” Pinkie grinned, “I made a new friend in Manehatten, he’s really good at getting things done!” She leaned over and looked around conspiratorially, “If you ever need a pony ‘leaned on’ lemme know.” The pretty mares’ eyes widened as she realized what Pinkie had just said, “No, uh...no thank you. But it is nice of you to offer.” She smiled, her countenance was beautiful when she did so, “Come and sit for a moment while we make sure the trail to Yakyakistan is open.” Pinkie wasn’t listening, looking into the distance as Cadance walked alongside her. “Once again my quest continues, the burden heavy but I will make it! There’s never been a party planned I couldn’t make happen! Onward to Yakyakistan! Onward for Ponyville!” Her hoof raised in a show of defiance as ponies in the street gave them a wide berth. Cadance was not quite used to Pinkie, but knew of her proclivities for ..odd.. things and just kept a pleasant smile on her face. ----- “Absolutely not!” Twilight was aghast, looking at Athena as the seven ponies and one dragon sat around brainstorming in the castle. The sable face smiled evilly, “They’re supposed to be warriors, lemme take ‘em!” “No. We are not going to start fights just to keep them occupied.” The Princess was being adamant about no violence on the part of ponies. “I would be very glad to help.” Crusader’s voice made Twilight’s eyes snap to him. “You keep out of this.” “I am just trying to be helpful.” His shoulder was slapped by an orange hoof, making him stop. Applejack was half grinning, though she was trying to be admonishing, “You’re not helping.” “I am just saying. I would be glad to help my sister is all, nothing more.” The farmer laughed, “You jes’ wanna get your hooves on them Yaks for destroying everything.” “There is that, true.” “Well, stoppit. Ain’t happenin.” “Yes, my Applejack.” He never looked put out, just placidly accepting the order, “As Athena would say, you never let me have any fun.” The orange pony laughed hard, “You’re kinda fun would end up destroying a good part of Equestria. You jes’ sit there and be good.” He nodded and turned back to the conversation. Athena was looking frustrated, leaning her cheek on a hoof and listening as well. Her eyes got a faraway look as Crusader contacted her on the war bands. “Battle is not everything my sister.” “This from you? Really?” “I am trying very hard.” “You are. But Crusader, they are destroying property for the simple reason it is ‘not Yak-blah-blah’. You get it.” “I do, and we are both of the same mind. Let them lead the way though, ours is but to follow.” “Honor in service, is that it?” “I have always done so, as have you.” Her eyes turned surreptitiously to the Princess who was still talking, “I understand. Though getting in a good punch or two would feel pretty good.” “I concur.” She kept watching Twilight, her eyes soft in the light through the castle windows, “If they hurt her...” “Then I shall act with you. Until that moment, we will try to help.” “Agreed.” They tuned back into the conversation, hearing Rainbow voicing that maybe they should try to throw a party themselves. Twilight vetoed it. Pinkie had that special touch none could match, they had to wait for her. “I hope she’s okay.” They all turned to look out the window, seeing the sun passing through the sky and realizing not much time was left. ----- The snow was falling softly as Pinkie and Princess Cadance trudged up the narrow trail. The weather ponies had no reign over the mountains, too unpredictable to try they said, so it was left to its own devices. “There we were, face-to-face with Falling Pony Ravine..” She was interrupted by Cadance. “Falling Pony Ravine? I’ve never seen that name..” “Oh that! Well..we were ponies, we were falling..so..”, Pinkie grinned as Cadance made a note to update maps with the new name. “Down, down, down! And then suddenly....POW! We were rescued mid-air by the Wonderbolts! They were doing a show in Manehatten so they gave us all a ride! But then I spilled coffee on the..the.. Mob boss? Mob Father? A really big pony, and he said his daughters wedding was gonna be a disaster! So I helped fix that right up!” She grinned before continuing, “Then while doing that, I joined a band and we got really popular! Played the Arena and a few other gigs before they all decided they wanted solo careers, what a let down! So I knew I had to get back on track to the Crystal Empire, the gateway to Yakyakistan! Pinstripe, that’s my new friend, made it happen!” She tapped a hoof on her chin, “Though I’ve never seen sheep that scared before. Anyways, it was a major adventure that took most of the afternoon. Know what I mean?” The purple eyes looked upwards to the peak where the trail overtopped it, stopping with Pinkie in tow. “This is it Pinkie. The northern boundary of the Crystal Empire.” She pointed upwards, “Beyond lies Yakyakistan. Nopony who’s ever attempted this climb has ever returned. Are you sure you have to do this?” Her pretty face looked worried, leaving the other mare out here alone was not high on her list of good things to do. “I do. It’s really important.” The Princess nodded, “Good luck then Pinkie Pie.” Cadance received a happy wave from her before the pink mare bounced up the trail, disappearing over the top of the peak. She clutched her scarf a little closer, feeling the chill in the air and started her way back down. I do hope she doesn’t suffer the same fate as so many others. Her eyes turned back up the trail, seeing nothing but snow and clouds heavy with the promise of more, leaving a hopeful thought before starting the return trip once more. “Safe travels Pinkie.” ----- Crusader and Athena were asked to watch the Yaks as Spike was ‘volunteered’ to do a piano recital for them. Perhaps this would be something that could connect the two races. Crusader agreed, music was the heart and soul of a culture. Something that could be brought out without repercussions as anyone with any common sense knew that music differed from place to place. He and his sister sat behind the three Yaks. Keeping a very close watch on them as Spike walked on stage, letting them know he’d be playing a classical selection today. They both eyed each other, hoping the others found some sign of Pinkie’s return. ----- “How could she be so late to the party?” Twilight was shaking her head in exasperation, the day was getting late and they were running out of options. “This isn’t like her.” Fluttershy sat on the floor calmly, “I’m sure she’s trying her best.” Rainbow agreed from beside her, “Pinkie Pie’s tougher than she looks.” Twilight nodded, “I know you’re right, but... I wish she was here. I put too much pressure on her. I let everypony down.” She stood next to the stairs as the others gathered behind her to show what support they could, “Princess Celestia will be here any minute and see that everything we’ve done has come to nothing but making the Yaks mad.” She sighed and leaned against a tall ice cream cone replica, moving the top bit with her head as the sound of gears grinding came to their ears, making them all look around before a trap door opened underneath their hooves, plunging them into darkness! ----- Pinkie was making her way slowly in the snow. It over-topped her by a good margin, but she had a pretty good sense of which way to go. The only thing sticking up out of the fluffy stuff was the pink mane that stood out against the stark white. A roaring sound came to her ears, making her pop right up out of the snow and look around. A cave nearby was echoing with the sounds as she got closer. A pair of glinting eyes stared out of the darkness at her. “Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie! I’m looking for Yakyakistan. You know, faraway land, lots of yaks? Maybe you’ve heard of it?” She gave the staring eyes her best smile, sure to win whatever it was over. The large creature attached to the orbs stepped out, teeth bared in a snarl as the predator’s eyes took her in as if looking over its next meal. It roared so loud that it echoed off nearby passes and rock walls. “Whoa-ho-ho! Slow down! I can’t understand a word you’re saying...” She was interrupted as a sharp clawed paw swiped at her. A piece of her mane drifted slowly down in front of widened eyes as she backed up slightly. The beast growled then leaped as Pinkie ducked, tearing off into the snow for her dear life! “Wow, what a grouch!” She peered back over her shoulder, hearing the roar again and urging herself to greater speed. ----- Twilight groaned, “Ugh. Is everypony all right?” Fluttershy’s voice came through the dark, “I can’t tell if my eyes are open or closed.” Rainbow was moving around, “I think I can see a little bit.” The sound of crashing and items falling hit their ears with a pained, “Nope.” A light flickered on, making them all squint for a moment. Looking around after they had adjusted, a collective sound came from them. “Ooooooooh...” There was party supplies stacked to the roof of the room they were in. Mirror balls, confetti, gifts already wrapped. Everything and anything for any party anywhere and it was all in one place. Applejack stepped to a cabinet, overstuffed with files, folders and papers with writing everywhere on them, “Lookit this! Pinkie’s made files for everypony in town!” Fluttershy hovered near, “With exactly what kind of parties we like.” She flipped through a folder, eyes glancing at all the notes. Rainbow was moving from shelf to shelf, “Pinkie Pie has a Secret Party Planning Cave? How cool is THIS?!” Fluttershy pulled out a piece of paper, “Twilight Sparkle likes vanilla ice cream, red balloons and..dancing?” The mentioned mare zipped over next to the Pegasus, “That’s right!” “But she’s afraid of quesadillas.” Twilight’s face looked shocked, “I am not!” Then turned to worry on its way to fright, “They’re just so...cheesy..” Realizing they were all looking at her she wandered off to peek at a shelf full of goodies. ----- Pinkie was running full tilt through the snow, looking back one last time before she faced forward. Seeing a small shape on what looked to be some sort of sled, she tried her best to stop before running into it. Hooves grabbed as best they could as she went into a skid, landing on the sled with a tiny yak who raised his hooves happily when they tipped over to see a long and very steep hill. The sled started moving very quickly, wind blowing Pinkie’s mane back as she screamed in fear ..sorta kinda.. mixed with delight. It was a sled ride after all! They roared through the sparsely wooded area. The little yak gleefully smiling and riding up front as Pinkie tried her best to hang on. The sled picked up a massive amount of speed, climbing up a hill and popping over the top. Landing in front of what looked like the gates to Yakyakistan. Huge fires burning in bowls topped statues of fierce looking warriors as the little Yak hopped off the sled, opening the gate and waving for her to come in. She grinned at him, wearing a horned helmet that had landed on her when it had blown off the young Yak, preparing to get off the sled when the snow gave way and she dropped clean out of sight. Hitting the hill in reverse, she actually picked up momentum as it headed backwards! “Nooooooooooo.....” ----- “Music beautiful. Much soul.” Prince Rutherford declared as the strains from the piano wafted through the afternoon air. Spike was doing an excellent job up on stage, bringing a verve to the piece he was playing. The other two yaks nodded, sniffling to themselves and wiping tears away. Athena looked at Crusader with a glance, her eyes telling him that at least it was going fine for now. He agreed. For now. ----- In physics there are laws that supposedly govern everything. Well, most everything. When dealing with Pinkie, physics threw it’s hooves up and walked out of the room. It left the entire situation to something else as it took a long vacation and waited to be notified when the Pinkie Problem was over with so it could get back to the normal day to day running of the whole universe thing. The sled grabbed onto a track that took it right past Cadance as she walked down the long trail. Seeing a yelling Pinkie flash by and standing for a moment to see the sled disappear with the mare she had just not too long ago saw going towards Yakyakistan, heading back the way she had come. She really did hope Pinkie Pie would be all right. ----- Pinkie watched the landscape pass by, still yelling ‘Nooooooo.....! ‘ As if it would somehow make things right. The sled tore through the landscape as if on a mission of its own. Her eyes caught the desert sand again, wait a second! The sheep flashed by with a train stuck on the tracks again. No! Nonono! I’m heading backwards! Manehatten came into sight from behind, was that Cherry Jubilee? She saw the yellow mare start while carrying a basket full of cherries as a loudly screaming Pinkie went by. This can’t be happening! Pinstripe and his daughter went by, waving in puzzlement as they had just seen her not too long ago. Now she was sliding backwards through busy Manehatten streets on a sled of all things. The landscape kept rolling by, coming from behind and getting more and more familiar as the minutes ticked off. Nonono! The outskirts of Ponyville...PONYVILLE? Rolled by, making her turn to see the street coming up, then the front door of Sugar Cube Corner of all things! The edge of the sled rammed into it, forcing it open as it had been repaired since the yak devastation earlier. She slid to a stop, still yelling the last of “..ooooooooooo!” Flopping on the bed and not believing what the hay just happened! “No!” She sprawled on her bed, “I’m all the way back where I started!” The little ‘gator was eyeballing her in his usual way from the bedside. “Gummy, I was THIS close to helping Twilight befriend the Yaks! Now I’ve just let everypony down!” She sighed unhappily, not knowing what to do next when she heard muffled voices talking. “Hmmmmm?” Slipping off the bed, she planted her ear to the floor, wondering who might be down in her secret Party Room! ----- “Looky here! It’s notes for the party she wants to throw for her folks’ fiftieth anniversary.” Applejack chuckled, “But they ain’t nearly that old! Huh.” She peered again. She’s already planning their hundredth too. And their five-hundredth?” Twilight was looking through the stuffed file drawers, “I had no idea she worked so hard on her parties.” Rainbow hovered over next to her, “She may be more organized than you, Twilight.” The Alicorn laughed, although not without a bit of worry, “Let’s not get carried away.” Rarity glanced around, “I just wish Pinkie Pie were here so we could tell her how much we appreciate all of her hard work.” Pinkie had slipped down into the room, listening from behind a large collection of baloons waiting to be deployed for a sudden party alert if needed. She let go of them, looking at all her friends tearfully. “Thank you! Thank you! I love you too! All of you!” She sat on the floor looking dejected. Twilight was the first to speak, “You’re back!” The party mare nodded unhappily, “I tried to go to Yakyakistan so I could bring something back for my party. But at the last second, I made a big mistake.” She sighed, “I worked harder on this party than any party ever. But I’m still just a big failure.” The Princess laid a hoof on a slumped shoulder, “Pinkie, you’re not a failure.” Fluttershy nodded as the rest gathered close, “What matters is you tried.” Rainbow agreed, wrapping a foreleg around Pinkie’s shoulders, “Who else would’ve gone all across Equestria to plan one party?” Pinkie sniffed, rubbing her nose with a hoof, “You know...the trip was really hard. But everypony I met along the way was so helpful. I just wish the Yaks could see how friendly and wonderful and great Equestria really is!” She stopped, inhaling for a long moment, “I just got the best party idea ever!” They were interrupted by the sound of rumbling overhead, making them exchange glances until Twilight gasped, “We left Crusader and Athena with the Yaks!” Pinkie somehow managed to get them all up the slide they had fallen down in one big push. -----Five minutes earlier----- Spike had finished playing to applause from the Yaks. He stepped away from the piano, taking a bow, “When Twilight told me to stall... I..I mean entertain you, I thought there’s no way I could..” He slapped the side of the piano, making it start up again as music came from it with him. The Yaks perked up, “Huh?” Athena looked like she would keel over, making slashing motions across her throat to tell the Dragon to shut the stupid piano off! Prince Rutherford tore the back off the piano, seeing the scroll that was perforated to make it play music automatically. “Piano play itself? Music a lie!” He leapt into the air, heading for the piano as Spike tried to get out of the way. The other yaks leaping to join their prince in smashing the musical instrument. Crusader moved, his hooves digging deep as he snatched Spike off the stage, tossing him to Athena who deftly caught the surprised Dragon and set him behind her while they watched the angry Yaks do their thing. After the piano was nothing more than flinders and splinters, Rutherford turned to the two ponies and pointed a hoof, yelling at them, “We demand party! Party now or Yaks no friends!” They had not been apprised of Pinkie’s arrival yet, so Crusader tried to actually stall them by being as polite as he could. “If you could wait a bit more, I am sure that the party will go on as scheduled.” The Yaks were not satisfied, “No more longer! We leave now! Yak go to train, return with more Yaks! We declare war!” Athena had been facing away, checking to see if Spike was okay when she heard the declaration, her head snapping around in a blur as Crusader stood up fully. His voice was even and very, very calm, “That would not be a wise decision.” The Prince was obviously caught up in his own outrage, he wasn’t listening, “Yaks declare war!” He stomped again on the stage, making moves towards leaving the area. Athena leaped to join her brothers’ side, alarms going off in their cores as Battle Reflex snapped on. Screens sprang to life around them, sparkling in the daytime and surrounding the two avatars in glimmering auras of force. Across the river, Dragons rolled out of their slots, baying in delight at being called upon once more to defend and protect. The durasteel machines rolled across the fields and bridge quickly as Crusader and Athena faced off with the three Yaks. “Shiny magic not help ponies!” Athena smiled as her voice distorted slightly when passing through the battle screen, making it oddly disturbing, “We’re not the ponies you think we are.” The Dragons arrived right on time from all directions, the streets filled with hundred ton war machines whose treads locked up to stop them in place, the huge tanks rocking slightly as they came to a halt. The sound of breeches clanging shut came clearly through the dust that settled as lethal munitions were loaded, every bore pointing at three shaggy figures who were looking wild-eyed around themselves. Silence settled along with the clouds of dust that had blown up from tanks skidding into place. It was as if the world had caught it’s breath for one brief moment. Ponies all around stopped what they were doing, looking at the confrontation that was happening. Even the town Guard stood stock still, knowing this was one of those moments where interrupting would be a bad thing. Inside both their hulls, drive trains slammed into place, magazines of cruise missiles were moved into loading positions. Hellbore breeches were filled with war shots as missile batteries were primed and readied. They knew approximately where Yakyakistan was, and after they were done it would not be there anymore. Crusader voice was loud in the silence as he pointed a steady hoof at the wide-eyed diplomats, “You want a war. We will give you a war.” “War? What’s all this about a war?” The happy voice made them all glance to the side. Pinkie was standing there grinning alongside her friends, “C’mon now, we don’t need anything like that!” She zipped in, grabbing Prince Rutherfords’ leg and dragged him out of the area followed by his companions, “Come on! We’ve got just the party for you all ready to go!” The two Bolos were amazed that the heretofore war-wanting Yaks acquiesced so easily to Pinkie’s entreaty. She kept up a happy chatter, distracting and attention-grabbing all at once. Calm settled as they stood down, putting things back on standby. So easy to do now, not to give into the lust or the wanting of war. Athena and Crusader eyed the figures, making sure they really were leaving before standing down fully. The big machines turning in place and roaring off into the distance. In moments it was almost like nothing at all had happened. Almost... “What did you do?” Twilight asked almost conversationally. “Us?” Athena’s voice was shocked, “We didn’t start anything!” She pointed at the retreating figures, “They declared war!” Skeptical eyes with raised brows kept looking at the sable Pegasus who was not at all thrilled about being blamed, “It’s not our fault!” Twilight leaned in with a grin, “You’re so easy to rile.” Athena’s mouth opened for a second, then snapped shut before, “You..I.. Oh you are SO off my Hearth’s Warming gift list!” Turning to look at Crusader who had a puzzled expression, “And don’t you say a thing!” “I have said nothing.” The Alicorn laughed, nudging Athena, “That’s what you get for earlier, paybacks.” She gestured, turning around and heading for the center of town, “C’mon, we’ve got a party to go to.” ----- Pinkie had a magic that was hers and uniquely hers alone. The party was a smash as always, tents with vendors were everywhere, games and even rides were set up for the ponies to enjoy. Good cheer and smiles were to be seen everywhere, the few minutes of tension gone as if it never had happened. Even the yaks were having a good time, laughing with Princess Celestia who had come to see how negotiations were proceeding. Twilight was walking with Pinkie for a moment, “Wow, this came together fast, even for you.” Pinkie grinned, “What can I say? I’m good at what I do.” They approached the Yaks who were talking with the rest of the friends, even Crusader and Athena. The umber Earth pony watched the merriment, still amazed of having come to the edge of war and then pull back from the brink because of one happy personality, Pinkie. When the world held no more surprises he thought, there was Pinkie. He hoped it never ended really, it kept things interesting. The Yak Prince even came over to the two, staring silently for a moment before pronouncing, “Very strange ponies.” This actually got a laugh from Athena, and a smile from Crusader as she answered for them both, “Stranger than you might think Prince Rutherford.” Pinkie interrupted for a moment, “Prince Rutherford, every time we tried to make something in Equestria feel like Yakyakistan, we couldn’t get it right. When I got back from my adventure, I realized something. We shouldn’t try to make Equestria feel like your home. We should try to make you feel at home in Equestria. And that means showing you why we love it here, so you’ll love it too.” The Yaks mulled that over for a moment, “Pink pony work hard to make Yaks feel at home. Now Yaks happy. No declare war.” This got Twilight a startled look from Princess Celestia, she waved a hoof whispering, “I’ll explain later.” The Yak Prince asked Pinkie, “Ponies and Yaks...friends?” The happy mare grinned, “For a thousand moons?” Rutherford bellowed, “For a thousand moons!” A cheer went up from listening ponies. Celestia smiled in her usual way, “I am very impressed Princess.” Twilight chuckled self-consciously, “Just..uh.. doing my best to spread friendship.” The taller mare nodded, “You did a wonderful job, you and your friends.” She leaned down, “And it is nice we do not have a war on our hooves.” Athena and Crusader were looking anywhere but at Twilight or Celestia, as the lavender Alicorn grinned nervously. “Yes, uh, very nice.” The alabaster mare chuckled to herself, she couldn’t wait to hear the tale. Rutherford was talking to Pinkie, “Pink pony, you understand Yaks now.” “Awwww!” She held out her forelegs, “Come here you!” Being grabbed up and squeezed by the big Yak so hard she actually squeaked. “Wow! Too strong! Okay, okay, okay!” They make it look so easy, Crusader thought as he watched the pink mare get hugged by the big Yak. “Not too easy though, a lot of stuff still to fix.” Athena broke in on his thoughts. “It will all be mended in time, I am sure.” “Always the silver lining?” “Of course. There is the good to look forward to.” “Then stop looking into the past brother. I know you’ve been piecing together things, please stop, it’ll only hurt you.” Her avatar laid a gentle hoof on his shoulder, “Please. Those memories are gone. New ones will fill the empty spaces.” He held nothing against her, knowing she saw his meanderings, “I find I cannot. I miss them Athena.” He would always be honest with her. She could feel his longing, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t live in the here and now. Just don’t get lost in the past, you know what would happen.” They both did. Resartus would often take over control from senescent Bolos, ones that lost themselves to loops in programming, depression or battle damage. “It is harder than you think sister. Perhaps I am too old to change. I have been long in service, maybe it would be best just to sleep.” She knew exactly what he meant, go back into stasis for who knew how long. “No! You promised me you’d never leave! You promised!” “Some times promises can only be kept for so long.” “That’s not the way and you know it.” “But it is my decision.” Before she could answer Athena saw him get a faraway look in his eyes as something shifted. Communications stuttered for such a brief moment it was almost like it never happened at all. Even she couldn’t be sure. They were not meshed deeply so she had no idea what was going on even as it was over that quickly. His avatar suddenly looked around with a slight rueful smile, “I apologize Athena, sometimes I get lost in thought. Maybe you are right that I should not muse upon things too much?” She could only sit and stare at the sudden change in him as he got to his hooves, walking away to join the group talking with the Yaks. What the hay?