//------------------------------//
// Zulu: Invaders and Survivors 
// Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) 
// by Barrobroadcaster 
//------------------------------//

The bridge was mostly repaired when Dan arrived; Gust's crew was out fixing other things. He hung up the intercom and waited, timing how long it took them to get there. It was then Dan noticed he wasn't the only one on the ship's bridge.

"I'll see that it's done. I'm able to do that, at the very least. You're certain you don't want the Frigate for support? The cannon might be useful against the zebras."

"It's more important that you do what you can to delay Vice. He's more dangerous than the others."

"I understand," Colress said. "And you?"

"I have to do this," the Gold Baron answered. "They're family."

Colress nodded. "I'll do whatever I can."

"Thank you. Prepare quickly, we'll be going soon."

"Of course." The scientist stepped into a strange, circular tile on the floor and disappeared. The Baron stood in front of it, head down in contemplation, or something, for several long moments in silence.

Dan walked over to him. "So... what the heck was that about?"

"Ah, uh, Dan, yes. That was... another issue. It's nothing you need to worry about. How long have you been here?"

"Oh, okay," Dan said, nodding like he understood. "I just got here, didn't feel like interrupting your private conversation on the bridge of my can't-carry-aircraft-worth-a-crap aircraft carrier."

"But this is Gust's ship."

"And Gust works for me. And I work for Twilight, so technically it's Twilight's ship, but she kind of asked us not to convert any new planes or choppers or whatever into personal vehicles shaped like her head," Dan said, sitting in the pilot's seat. "I feel like I still could convince her to sign off on the Twilicarrier, though."

The Baron shook his head. "I really don't think she would."

Dan leaned forward. "And you know her how, exactly?"

"I..." he motioned towards his helmet, then stopped. "That's not important. Also, that wasn't what I wanted to show you."

"What do you mean?"

"You left early," the Gold Baron said. "There's something else you need to see."

"Alright, then," Dan said, folding his arms. "I am sitting comfortably, on the bridge of MY aircraft carrier, giving an audience to a shiny, steampunk superhero who says I need to see something. You may proceed."

"Thanks." The Baron stepped into another mysterious floor tile and disappeared for a second.

"The heck?" Dan stood. "Why did no one tell me there were teleporters on this ship? I ran up six flights of stairs when I could've used this thing!" He then thought for a moment. "AND WHERE THE HECK IS EVERYPONY ELSE?!?!"

The teleporter flashed again and the Baron returned. He was holding the zebra prisoner he'd just spoken to.

"I've seen that before," Dan said.

The Baron set him down. "Not... quite."

"What are you doing? Let go of me! Who are you people?!!" the zebra demanded, flailing.

The Gold Baron restrained him with a single arm and claw. With the other, he held up the spear, the shield already strapped to the zebra's back.

Dan backed up. "Uhhh... you're not gonna flip his murder switch, are you?"

"Again, not quite." He touched him with the spear. The zebra's struggles turned into violent flails.

"AHHHAA!! Where are you, you filth! Scum, infidels, release me and I'll-!"

The Gold Baron released him. Unlike before, the zebra's hooves were bound behind his back. He still struggled, but was contained. "We want to speak to Zen Zeal," the Baron said.

The zebra snarled. "You don't deserve that honor! We are one, we are his legion, we are not your-"

"Tell him we know who he is."

"YOU WILL BE RENDED LIMB FROM LIMB! YOUR BONES SCATTERED TO THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE LAND! YOUR NAMES WILL BE-"

The Gold Baron folded his arms. "Ask him if he remembers Borleias."

The zebra's foaming violence suddenly began to melt the moment the words hit his ears. His expression began to change from hot rage to cold rage, a deeper and more reserved anger. His eyes narrowed and focused on the Baron. Slowly, the zebra got up. With barely a twitch of his fetlocks, he broke his restraints and stood on two legs. He stared at the Gold Baron, his very presence now radiating a dark hatred.

"How do you know of Borleias?" the zebra asked, his voice changed.

The Baron paced backward to Dan. "Before I answer that, Dan, may I introduce you to Zen Zeal. He's speaking through the zebra through a type of linked voodoo, part of their dark magic."

"Voo-doo?" Dan repeated. "So what, he's like, "assuming direct control" or something?"

"Precisely."

Dan walked over to the zebra. "So, you're projecting Zen Zeal, the top zebra guy right now?"

The zebra looked at Dan, utter disdain in his eyes. "I am Zen Zeal, General of the Legions of the Zebra Kingdom. And you are... Dan, Captain. Of the Sparkle Guard."

"Eeyep. And I have a message to you from me and the rest of the Sparkle Guard."

He looked back at him coldly. "And that is?"

"This." Dan hauled back and punched the zebra right in the muzzle. "Ow!" The human pulled back his hand. The zebra barely moved, didn't even look away. "Crap, are you made of iron or something?!"

The zebra smiled at him, which was somehow worse than his previous expression. "You are fortunate I cannot respond in kind. I am quite certain you would not survive one of my "messages."

"Your "certainty" is something that's been your undoing before," the Baron said, walking around him. "If you recall Borleias."

Zen Zeal's puppet turned to him again. "You know that name. You know what it means to me. Tell me how you know these things."

"Ah, but Dan has to be brought up to speed."

"Yeah, that would help," the human said, sitting down again.

"Dan, Zen Zeal is a ruse. He's not real, he's an illusion," the Gold Baron explained. "This is the real... person behind the illusion. This is Czulkang Lah. Former warmaster of the Yuuzhan Vong."

"The you-what?" Dan asked. "So, he's a fake zebra or something?"

The baron shook his head. "No, he's a real zebra. But a long time ago, he was a member of a galaxy-conquering technophobic, xenophobic alien species that committed genocide on every planet they touched. He was defeated though... by more than a few "clever minds."

Dan sat there, mouth half-agape for another few long moments. When he finally processed all the information, he shook his head and said, "What?"

"He's an alien from another galaxy, from another dimension. He was transported here after the Battle of Borleias," GB explained. "I'm pretty sure it was the Director's doing."

Dan looked at the zebra, his expression still perplexed, as if he was waiting for him to confirm what he'd just heard. "You were summoned? That guy summoned you here, too?"

The zebra turned around. He clasped his hooves behind his back. Suddenly, it was if his movements were slower and more deliberate. Each of Zeal's... or Lah's, steps were smaller, more careful, more deliberate. It was that of someone crippled who had just learned to walk again.

"Borleias... Borleias was my greatest failure. My last words... I had intended my last words for my son," he turned to them. "I saw a bright light before the Lusankya hit. And I woke up here, years ago. At first, I had thought the gods had smiled upon me and saved me from my fate. But I see now... this is something else entirely," he said, looking around the room. "But I am Czulkang Lah just the same." He focused on the Baron. "You said this Director is the one responsible for me being here?"

The golden bipedal bird stepped back. "Th-that's more of a working theory, but-"

The zebra smiled at him again. "You have given me information. I may spare you so you can lead me to this Director yourselves. Do not attempt to contact me again... or you'll receive quite a different message." The zebra's eyes rolled upward and he fell to the floor, unconscious.

"Gonna admit, that was a new one," Dan said, nodding casually. "Was that what you wanted to show me? The bad guy we've been fighting is really a brutal alien conquerer from another galaxy?"

"Yes."

"Because if we were going to fight aliens impersonating other species, I was hoping we could fight Invader Zim," Dan said, looking at him enthusiastically.

The Baron cocked his head. "Who is Invad- oh, the cartoon."

"Yeah," Dan nodded happily. "Can you redo it so the bad guy's Invader Zim?"

"Wha- why would I have control over any of that? This isn't something you get to choose," the Baron said.

"I'll settle for Marvin the Martian," Dan said innocently, batting his eyelashes. "Vilgax from Ben 10. Kang and Kodos, Roger, anything from Futurama. Heck, aren't we near that studio that did Monster Buster Club? There's enough references to Canada here, anyway!" he continued to plead/bargain. "Anything but Butt Ugly Martians. How about TMNT or Power Rangers? Teen Titans? The old one, not Go."

"That's not-"

"Planet 51. Independence Day."

"I have something else you need to see." GB picked up the zebra and walked back to the teleporter. He disappeared again, and Dan began playing around with the pirate captain-y things on the ship.

Finally, Dan's friends arrived. "Guys! What took you so long?!"

Phoenix held up his hand. "First off, there's a lot of stairs." Half of them looked out of breath and covered in sweat.

"Frrrpttth." Stairs.

"Second, we stopped to get lunch."

"Frrrpttth." Stairs.

Dan walked up to the lawyer. "You know the protocol, Nicky. And?"

Phoenix held up a small brown bag. "Lean, crispy hay bacon on toasted marble rye with chipotle mayo on both sides but not too much, lettuce, tomato and pickle."

Dan happily snatched the bag. "Good man. Okay, update, Zen Zeal's an alien," he said, chowing down.

"What?!?!"

"Yeah, alien from Borealis or something. Sulking... Zullking... Invader Zull," Dan said through sandwich bites.

"An alien?" Chrys said. "Does this mean all zebras are aliens?"

Dan shrugged. "I dunno. Probably."

"Zebras aren't aliens," Twilight said. "We've known Zecora for years, she's our friend. Whoever Zen Zeal really is, if he's an alien or something, that might explain how he was able to beat Celestia and why the zebras are acting so hostile."

"They were all invaded by body snatchers!" Dan shouted, holding up his sandwich.

The Gold Baron walked through the door rather than using the teleporter this time. Edge Antares was with him. And they were fighting.

"NO! No, I'm not- you don't understand!"

"You have to tell them!"

"Tell them what? What do you expect them to do?"

"They might be able to HELP you!" the Gold Baron said.

Edge backed away. "I don't see how. I'm not him. I'm not the guy."

"Hey," Dan said, still eating. He poked the Baron with his free hand. "Tell them about Invader Zim."

"Czulkang Lah," the Baron corrected. "Zen Zeal is actually Czulkang Lah, the former warmaster of the Yuuzhan Vong from the old book series back at the library, the Star Wars one."

There were all silent. Dan finished his sandwich. "Mmm, that was good. Good job, Nicky, thanks."

"You're welcome." (And the chances of him paying for it the next time are about the same as me getting reimbursed for this time.)

"Czulkang Lah was an old warrior, a military genius and a legendary commander who taught other warriors," GB explained. "In all of his years, he was never defeated except at the Battle of Borleias. The name of the one who defeated him... is Wedge Antilles."

They all slowly turned to the orange stallion in the room. Edge Antares... or the pony version of Wedge Antilles... or whoever he was, had his back turned to the rest of them.

"Wedge Antilles?" Dan asked. "The guy from the video games?"

"No," Phoenix shook his head. "He's from the books."

"I thought he was in the movies," Twilight said.

"I thought the guy from the comic was in the movie," Chrys added.

Spike scratched his chin. "Wait, the webcomic or the graphic novel comics?"

"I'm not Wedge Antilles," Wedge said, turning. "I... I don't know who I am. I'm obviously not him, though."

They all stared at him. "I think that's something Wedge would say," Chrys said.

Twilight nodded. "I think he did say it. In the comic."

"Graphic novel."

"Stop," he held up his hoof. "I'm not the guy. I don't know who that guy is, where he is... but he isn't me," he said, sounding strangely defeated. "It wouldn't help anyway."

The Gold Baron walked over to him. "I've seen it in the way you fly. When pegasi fly, they place their hooves in front of them to grab things or in case they need to land or stop abruptly. But you and the rest of Rogue Squadron, you always fly with your forelegs to your backs, the opposite direction. This is so you can angle your flight pattern, change it abruptly while maintaining speed, like a jet," he pointed at him. "You don't fly like a racer, a delivery pony or a weather manager. You... you fly like a predator."

Dan walked up to him. "Are you really Wedge?"

And Wedge looked back at him. "I don't know. I have... memories," he said, holding his head. "I had a wife. I had children. Two daughters, meant everything to me. I fought wars... battles, countless numbers of them." He sighed shakily, almost like he was sobbing. "I'm tired of the killing. Of losing friends. Every time... every time I tried to get away from that life, it would pull me back in. And now, I'm here... and I'm in the same exact situation."

The Director was a collector, not just of stories and things but of characters. Whereas Twilight and a select few other ponies summoned individuals from Earth and other places in times of great need, the Director did it for fun, causing great strain on the fabric of magic in the process. The Director, having been through countless Equestrias and Earths, now summoned characters from media like Wedge. Summoning things and people directly is only completely successful from, oddly enough, handheld devices like Nintendo DS games, which is why Phoenix, Colress and Professor Layton were easy to summon. Movies, books and other games were harder.

The Director's first attempt at a summoning was actually from the movie The Big Lebowski, summoning The Dude, Walter and others from the cult 90's film. The stain caused by the extreme disregard for the 'rules' of summoning magic caused the error to be rectified by "ponifying" them, in essence, pulling the characters their own reality and placing them in the world of Equestria as ponies. The Director did this, because she hated the circumstances of her own reality with such intensity, and in fact the other realities and chain of them she was forced to go through so much that she was desperately trying to destroy it. She tortured people like Wedge and Czulkang Lah, but unfortunately, some of them liked torture, like Czulkang Lah.

Chrys walked up to the stallion and put her hoof on his back. "You can be whoever you want to be. I got a second chance here... there's hope for anypony."

"You could help us," Phoenix said. "And we could use your help. We need all of it we can get."

"Yeah," Dan said. "We need your help to beat Invader Zebra-lah. And then we go after the Irken Empire."

"Save it for season 2, Dan," Twilight said.

"Awww," Dan moaned. "Fine. But, for now, we need you to defeat Czulky."

Wedge/Edge smiled. "Except, there's just... one problem with me helping you."

"And what's that?" they all asked.

"I didn't defeat Czulkang Lah," Wedge said.

And their jaws dropped. "But... but... but!" Dan stammered. "The gold guy! He just said! And the zebra puppet dude!" he held up the still unconscious zebra. He worked the zebra's mouth. "He said, "Ima legendary bad guy and I'm here to finish what I started!" and stuff. I was there!"

"I lost the Battle of Borleias," Wedge said. "Czulkang Lah and his forces defeated mine. We were forced to retreat."

"But then, how-"

"This doesn't make any sense," Phoenix said. "How do you beat someone but not defeat them? How do you... win while still losing?"

Wedge turned abruptly, grinning. "You give them exactly what they want- victory. The kind of victory that defeats them, that makes them lose more than they gain from it, the kind of victory that costs them the entire war. I killed Czulkang Lah by ramming my ship, the Lusankya, into his. The resulting explosion ravaged his entire fleet but mine was forced to retreat. That was the plan, all along, anyway. It took a lot of work, a lot of people didn't make it back but we got it done. That's why the Yuuzhan Vong hated Borleias: it's the type of victory that costs them everything. It's more of a victory for us but technically theirs."


"That's... that's incredible!" Dan said. "I love that idea! Yes, let's kick his ass by giving him exactly what he wants!"

"Uh, calm down there, Captain," Phoenix said. "Let's not jump to any conclusions."

"Too late."

"We need a plan still," Phoenix said. "But, if it's true the zebras are fighting like the... Yuuzhan Vong, then you must have experience fighting them, right Wedge?"

Wedge nodded. "They've changed some of their tactics, but judging from their formations, they still have the core principles back from the war. The discipline, the zealotry, it's all there, so we might be able to use that to our advantage. With training, you could even counter their moves."

"That sounds great! Yes!" Dan exclaimed. "Yes, train all of us so we can kick their asses back to wherever it is their from!"

"Would you train us, Wedge?" Chrys asked.

The orange stallion smiled confidently. "Alright. Not like I haven't done that at least twice already."

"YES! Now, we'll be able to beat any aliens that try to screw with us!" Dan said. "Today the zebras, tomorrow the Xenomorphs, the Orks and everything from A.I to Zerg!"

Wedge's smile never faded. He suddenly felt like he was in his element again, like it was where he belonged. Remembering back, that was how he'd felt before, so maybe he was responsible for getting into these situations all the time. He still wasn't sure if he was Wedge Antilles or not, but in a way, that made him more sure than ever that they could get the job done. He folded his hooves and watched his new squadron celebrate. It was good to be back.