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// Blythe Baxter (Not really a rant) 
// Story: Colgate's Rants:  Hasbro Franchise Edition 
// by StormLuna 
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It was just another Saturday morning and like we always do, my sister, my marefriends, my harem and myself had gathered around the TV to watch My Little Human and after that, Littlest Pet Shop.  I can't help but wonder what was going on because at the end of the season finale, Blythe was being chased by the Biskit Twins though a door.....ooh, an off season cliffhanger!  Why must they do this to us, what will happen to Blythe?   Well obviously we were upset because we will have to go several months wondering what will happen to our favorite character.

Ok, enough about our obsession with LPS.  That afternoon I had a knock on my door so I answered it and in front of me stood a pony I had never seen before, a blue pegasus with a brown mane and a spool of thread and pencil cutie mark.   She came to me not to only ask where she was but also to ask me where the nearest dentist was.  Now obviously I was not thrilled that somepony would have the audacity to bug me on a weekend.  Despite me being disgusted by this, I led her over to my practice where I would be surprised.

Now of course the moment I got her in there I fired up my computer and card reader so I could run her insurance card through and afterwards, if she had one, her debit card for her co-pay.  She handed me her insurance card and I was extremely suspicious that this was some sort of stupid prank this young mare was playing on me.  The card was issued by Aviators' Family Insurance.  Aviators'?  What the fuck is an aviator?  Well I asked this pony about it and she told me her father is a pilot.  I took a closer look at the card and saw something you don't see on most Equestrian insurance cards, a signature of the client.  OMG!  The signature is that of Roger Baxter!  Could it be?  Could this actually be Blythe?  Well I asked her about it and she told me that she was chased through a portal here by the Biskit Twins.

Holy shit, that happened in the show!  I never imagined that there was a portal to Downtown City here in Equestria.  After I went all fanfilly and made Blythe think I was an idiot, I asked her about her problem.  She told me that a tooth in the upper right side of her mouth hurt.  You know something, I didn't even bother running her dad's insurance card through because I never even thought about accepting insurance plans from other dimensions but after this, I may rethink that.  Having Blythe as a return customer would be well worth it.

Well I took her back and sure enough, she has a cavity.  Now yeah, it does anger me that such a level headed girl would allow herself to get a cavity but I can't stay mad at Blythe!  I filled her cavity and cleaned her teeth but I did give her a very stern lecture about brushing her teeth three times a day.  Once I had finished her appointment I told her that since she can't pay me that she do one thing, that she lead me to the portal where she came from.  

She led me out to the wastelands east of town and showed me an opening in the rocks that led to a cave.  In it I saw a grayish vortex and was stunned.  While I am ecstatic that this portal is here and now I know how to get to Downtown City, I issued a warning to Blythe.  I told her that I would come through every now and then and check on her.  I told her that if she did not begin to brush and keep her teeth clean, that I would come through sometime and confiscate Pepper!  Hey, who wouldn't want a pet skunk to spray unruly and non-paying bums.  

She gave me a nervous smile and told me that just so I would know that she was taking good care of her teeth, that she would come through the portal to see me every six months.  Sweet, now Blythe will be one of my regular customers!  Of course setting up an agreement for me to accept that insurance of her father's will be tough.  I'm not sure if they will do business with a dentist from another dimension and given that there is no exchange rate between Equestrian bits and the US dollar, it will be unlikely but oh well, for Blythe I'll let her see me for free.  I'll just jack up Aria and Adagio's rent and overcharge a few ponies to make up for it.