Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster


Zulu: Hair-Trigger

Treating the poison joke-afflicted ponies and griffons was easy once Zecora got started. Twilight, Chrys and the others pitched in to help heal the injured in the ship's medical deck and Dan learned he was not a gifted nurse. After trying to reset a griffon's fractured rear talon with a hammer, he was asked to offer bandages and get food and drinks to the patients. He was a lot better at that form of healing, an important procedure in its own right.

Rainbow Dash helped as well, being one of the first that was treated. Spike found out about her sudden "hair-raising moment" but he didn't berate his friend with it.

"Number twenty-five's a good one," Spike said, stroking an imaginary stache.

Rainbow hovered up to Dan, looking innocent. "So... are we going up against the zebras again? Because if we are, we're gonna need more medical supplies. And ammo. And bombs!"

Dan folded his arms. "I ALMOST solved that problem, Rainbow. Almost!"

"Why almost?"

"Hmph. Because apparently, it's "highly illegal" and "a crime against Equestria" to try and set the hippies on fire and launch them at the zebras," Dan said, using air quotes. "And I'm a "violent sociopath" and "unethical" and "probably mentally unstable" for suggesting it. All you have to do is say it's a bad idea, I'll get the picture!"

"Who called you all that stuff?"

"Freaking Sharp Winter. His leftover gas canisters were all we had left that burns."

"So now the Flutterbirds are outta gas?"

"Among other things," Dan said. "We'll come up with something, though. Something that's more... "humane" I guess, whatever that means."

Rainbow put a hoof on Dan's shoulder. "I'm sure you guy's will think of something."

"We kind of have to, or we're all screwed," Phoenix said. "We will, though. Thanks for your support, Rainbow."

She grinned sheepishly at him, blushing just slightly. "Aw, right back at ya, Nix." Rainbow was fiercely loyal to her friends, especially those that stood up for her, so it made since she bonded with Phoenix.

Someone, or something new approached Dan and the others. No one saw him enter the room or noticed any of the doors open, yet here he was.

He grabbed Dan's arm. "I need you to come with me."

"What the- woah," Dan turned, coming face-to-face with a shiny, gold-armored figure. He bore a resemblance to a griffon but was more upright, not unlike one of Spike's statues. But the dragon was with Twilight. "Who... what the hell are you?" They all turned to face the newcomer, surprised on all their faces to say the least.

The golden stranger took a step back. "I am... a friend," he said, sounding a little nervous. "Dan, I need you to come with me. Now."

"I don't remember making friends with a golden goose," Dan said. "These chicken-lions, maybe but not... whatever you are." The golden figure was imposing, but not intimidating. The armor on its face and eyes did not move, like the suit he was wearing was some kind of golden full-body mask. It reminded Phoenix of an Egyptian sarcophagus if it had been combined with a medieval knight's suit of armor.

"Who I am is not important. I assure you, however, that I am an ally of yours and Twilight's and I have come here to bring you information," he said. "Please, it is imperative that you follow me. It's just down the hall."

"What's your name?" Phoenix asked. "Are you... this is a disguise of some kind, you're wearing?"

"Uh-um, I'd rather not say."

"That's not really much to go on, buddy," Dan said, arms folded. "How did you even get aboard our doughnut ship anyway?"

"I, uh, well..." the stranger paused, considering his words.

The doors opened to the room and Twilight rushed in. "Guys! We captured a-oh!" Twilight stopped. "You're here already."

"Yes, I- I wanted to check on Rainbow Dash," the golden one explained. He then turned to Rainbow and asked, "You are okay, aren't you?"

"Yeah, hey," the pegasus rose an eyebrow at him, "where have I seen you before?"

"I've... been around. I'm on your side, as always."

"As always?" Phoenix repeated.

"Dan, listen. Edge and Derpy captured one of the zebras," Twilight said. "You need to come see this."

"Oooooh, is it interrogation time?"

Gust, on one of the hospital beds recovering, raised a talon to offer his own advice. "Please don't try waterboarding again."

"There won't be a need for that," Twilight assured them. "Not this time, anyway. C'mon, hurry!"

"Alright, fine," Dan said, following along with the others. "Gust, you're in charge here while I'm gone. Help Zecora treat the rest of our fliers!"

"No."

Twilight led Dan and the others to the ship's brig, which was located directly under the bridge. To griffons, prisoners were also valuable because they could be ransomed back to whoever they belonged to, so it made sense to keep them close and take good care of them. The cells were designed like mini-birdcages but had plenty of comforts for different species. Rogue Squadron was gathered around one of the ones in the back, some of them inside and others outside watching while Wes kept the door closed.

"Yub yub guys, good to see ya again," the yellow pony greeted. "You must be here to see our new recruit."

"New recruit?" Dan and Phoenix asked. "I don't like where this is going."

Wes opened the door. "See for yourself."

They entered. Edge Antares, Derpy and Daring Do stood on either side of the zebra. Derpy held the zebra's spear and Daring held the zebra's shield while the orange stallion examined him.

"I still can't see anything. Bioscans aren't picking up anything unusual."

"What are you guys looking for?" Phoenix asked.

"Transceiver, a receiver or relay of some kind that could pick up or amplify signals," Edge answered.

"Basically, like a walkie talkie or something," Derpy clarified, looking at the spear again.

"Why would he have one of those?" Dan asked. "Is he trying to tell the rest of the horde our location?!"

"I do not understand," the zebra said. "I am sorry, but I do not know who any of you are." He looked around the room, confused. "Where are we?"

Dan shrugged. "I don't get it. He has amnesia or something?"

"We should show him," Daring said. "Derpy, get ready gain."

"Okay..."

Twilight stepped up. Her magic encircled the zebra, lifting him up off the chair.

"What is... what are you doing?"

"Okay, carefully... now." Derpy and Daring lifted up the shield and spear.

"What's going on? Is this magic or-" And then they touched them to his hooves. "I'LL KILL YOU ALL, LET ME DOWN YOU ARCANIST FILTH! I'LL RIP YOUR LIMBS OFF IF YOU DON-" He snarled angrily, eyes red and practically bulging out of his sockets.

"Heh, that's a pretty good impression of me. As a zebra," Dan remarked, chuckling.

The two pegasi removed the items. "TAKE YOUR BONES AND- hey, what are you doing with those?"

"You see what's happening?" Twilight asked. "It's some kind of reaction; the same thing happened with the hippies. Certain items, like the hippies' clothes puts them under a spell. They can then be controlled through rhythmic vibrations that resonate through these items when music or something is played. This is probably how Zen Zeal controls his army."

Dan touched both the spear and the shield to the zebra again. "RARRRRRRAAAGGGARRRRRRAAA!!" He then removed them. "Is there something wrong?" the zebra asked.

"Fascinating. It's like a homicidal rage button," he said, touching them to him again. "Murder mode on!" He touched him with them again.

"RARRR!"

"Murder mode off!" He removed the them. "On!"

"RARRR!!"

"Off!"

"Dan..."

"On!"

"HAAARRRRAARREEEG!"

"Off!"

"Dan!"

"On!"

"GLLLLRRRRLLLRAAAARRRSSSAAAA Pauly Shore!"

"Off!" Twilight declared. She grabbed the weapons with her magic. "Stop triggering the zebra!"

"Awwww," Dan said. "Okay, yeah, sorry, but that was too much fun."

"This coming from the king of being triggered?" Phoenix asked. (Not that I'm asking for trouble, just that... I'm asking.)

But Dan expressed no hostility at the question. "It is a privilege to be enraged, Nicky. Not like, well, whatever the hell magic that was but I mean like to be really, really angry. It's a gift to feel such anger, to be so mad about something your hands feel like claws, that you could use them to rip the throat out of whoever's pissing you off, to use their own ribcage to gouge out their eyes and-"

"I get the idea," Phoenix said, patting Dan's arms back down. Even as Dan was going into detail of the enraging process, he was beginning to get more and more worked up. "I understand what you mean, though. Having that much anger means you have a lot of passion within you that can motivate you when you need it."

"But yeah, whatever this is isn't that. This is like, unnatural brainwashing rage. Hypnorage," Dan explained.

Twilight set the zebra and the items down. The group then walked out of the brig. "We need to work on some kind of counter-signal, a way to block Zen Zeal's orders," Twilight said. "If we can do that, we could force them to retreat, maybe even make peace with them. Even if we're only able to break the control on some of them, we could make them fight each other and we might beat them that way."

"This is astounding," Chrys commented. "It's almost like Zen Zeal's forcing all the zebras under him to fight. I know magic like that, but I've never really used any myself."

Phoenix rubbed his chin. "We can't jump to any conclusions. I think what we need to do is investigate more about the zebras, see how they work and try to see if separating them from the horde works the same way."

"Yes!" Dan raised his fists. "We get to fight the zebras again!" He immediately ran down the hallway, laughing maniacally.

"I was just going to suggest we try capturing another one!" Phoenix shouted after him. A few moments later, the intercom crackled harshly.

"This is CAPTAIN Dan to all able-forces! If you can walk, get your butts, flanks, tail feathers and whatever else up to the bridge for immediate tactical briefing!"

"You heard him, everypony," Twilight announced. "Back to war." Most of them groaned, Chrys did not. She merrily began skipping up to see Dan on the bridge.