//------------------------------// // And don't forget the beer, Shiny (Chapter 4) // Story: The socially awkward assassin // by wariyoshi //------------------------------// (Ponyville) Kal ran towards the Ponyville park as fast as he could. He would make Rainbow promise she wouldn’t tell anypony on the way to Fluttershy’s. He was unsure as to what Rainbow may have told other ponies, as she was not one to gossip, but she did talk a lot. Once he got back to the park, he was relieved to find out that those crazy fillies had left as well. He flew up to the cloud that Rainbow was napping at before and discovered that she hadn’t moved napping spots in the time he was gone. He violently shook her awake, “Rainbow, Rainbow! We need to talk, NOW!” Her snoring was cut short with an awkward snorting noise before she yawned, “Kal? What are you doing waking me up at this late hour?” He sighed, “It’s two in the afternoon, Rainbow. We need to talk about my…job” She frowned, “I didn’t think you were an athlete, you didn’t seem competitive enough. I never thought you’d turn out to be a killer” She shuddered as he looked away from her, “I didn’t think it was appropriate to tell many other ponies, I’m sure you understand” She slowly nodded before smirking, “But I still expect you to work out with me sometime, you look pretty athletic” He chuckled, “I’ll work out with you if you promise not to tell anypony about my line of work” She nodded confidently, “Rrright! Now, when are you free? I usually work out the best on weekends” Without another word Kal pulled out a taser and shocked her, which made her leap off of her cloud. She reflexively tried to spread her wings to protect her fall but her wings had suddenly been duct-taped to her side. As she helplessly fell down to the ground, a vat of pudding appeared below her in a pink blur just in time to catch her fall. Mission accomplished. (Fluttershy’s cottage, later) Kal sighed deeply and rolled his eyes. That prank took too much of my precious time, I need to make sure Fluttershy doesn’t tell anypony. Not that I’m worried, of course, I don’t think that mare EVER speaks. He trotted up to her cottage and knocked on her door lightly, remembering that she was a little timid and making sure to be gentle. “Hello? Who’s-EEEK!” She slammed the door in his face, causing him to rub his snout. Still rubbing his snout, he slowly and cautiously opened the door, “Er, Fluttershy? Is everything alright?” “STAY AWAY! DON’T HURT ANY CREATURE HERE! WE’LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!” She screamed from the farthest room in the house away from the front door. He sighed deeply and muttered under his breath, “These fillies are unbelievable sometimes” Kal waited there for a few minutes, contemplating what to do when an angry-looking rabbit bounced right up to him and held his paws up threateningly. Much to Angel’s dismay, Kal couldn’t hold back a chuckle. Angel squinted his eyes and attempted to intimidate Kal, failing miserably. “Are you a friend of Fluttershy’s, Mr. Bunny?” Kal tried to look as serious as possible, but his grin showed otherwise. Angel nodded slowly, not blinking or taking his eyes off of Kal, before smacking him in the face harshly. He rolled his eyes, “Ok, whatever. Just take this note to Fluttershy, please. I’m leaving, I promise” Kal quickly scribbled a little note and handed it to Angel, who continued to glare at him as he backed away towards the door. Once he had left Angel took the little note over to Fluttershy, “Oh, what’s this little Angel bunny?” She began to read it aloud, “I am so sorry to have startled you Fluttershy, but at the risk of sounding somewhat ridiculous I would just like to say that I am not a bad pony. If you aren’t a criminal then I don’t think we have any reason to be cross with one another. Please accept my apologies and I hope that we can overcome this in the future” She blinked at Angel, unsure of what to make of the note, before she saw something written on the back, “P.S. Please do not tell anypony about my line of work, as it will inevitably cause nothing but trouble” They both stared at awkwardly at each other for a minute before Fluttershy sighed. She hadn’t expected a brutish murderer to speak with such an aristocratic tone. She most certainly would keep her distance from him in the future, but at least she wasn’t as afraid of him anymore. (Ponyville) Kal headed back into town, he was going to go back to the library and see if there was anything to be done. He walked near the market-place when he saw Pinkie bouncing around happily. He went wide-eyed and ducked behind a garbage can. Oh buck my life, if she finds me, I’ll probably go insane. This is like Stableria all over again…except SHE doesn’t have any guns… He looked around for possible escape routes from the situation when he heard a cheery voice next to him, “Hi there Brassy! Omigosh, I thought I lost you there for a minute!” He yelped and bolted in the opposite direction of the annoying voice. He ran through the streets for a while before he came across the police station. Knowing he could be safe-guarded there, he dove in and looked outside to see if she had followed him. (Police station) After seeing no trace of pink outside, he turned around only to find that he was face to face with Shining, “Where have you BEEN Kal? Interrogations started half an hour ago” Kal blinked, realizing that he had forgotten all about them, “Uh, better late than never, right?” Shining rolled his eyes before leading him down a hallway to the interrogation rooms, “We’ve been digging information out of the grunts, but no matter what we say we can’t get anything out of that one pony you kept alive” Kal chuckled, happy that he would get to play with his new friend once more, “Oh don’t worry, Shiny, I’ll see to it that he tells us EVERYTHING” Kal walked through the door and saw the officer sitting there with an angry look on his face. As soon as the gruff looking stallion saw Kal, he went wide-eyed and backed away into a corner. He was clearly terrified, “Oh no oh no oh no, not…not YOU again” Kal grinned sadistically, “Oh yes oh yes oh yes…ME again” (Outside the interrogation room, looking through a one-way window of glass) The chief of police frowned, “Are you sure this…Brass can get this guy to talk? We’ve tried everything we know” Shining chuckled lightly, rolling his eyes, as the criminal’s head was bashed against the window, “Not everything. Kal has a certain way of being…above the law, in some respects, so he can get the job done more efficiently” They saw Kal head-butting the guard through the window, before the pony was splattered against the wall in a manner only seen in cartoons, “He looks like he’s promising, but even if this guy talks, I don’t know what exactly we’ll get outta him, he could lie to him about things, or-” Shining put a hoof up to the chief’s mouth as he watched Kal forcefully introduce the soldier’s face to the concrete floor repeatedly, “I’ve known Kal long enough to the point where I can safely say that I don’t think anyone has ever lied to him and gotten away with it” The two didn’t exchange words as Kal triumphantly trotted out the door, “He gave me names, he gave me places, and he gave me numbers, my three favorite things!” Grinning at the chief of police’s gaping mouth, he handed him the tape-recording from the room, “Sort through this, see what you do and don’t need, and document it accordingly. I expect a full summary of the ‘interview’ to be delivered to me by tomorrow” Shining and Kal walked away without another word, exiting the police station and continuing back to the library, “You shouldn’t have had the chief there, you know. If he’s being paid off, we don’t want him seeing what’s going on behind the scenes” Shining frowned, “He’s the chief of police, he knows everything that’s happening…behind the scenes…I don’t think I could’ve stopped him if I tried” Kal rolled his eyes, “We’re gonna have to follow him, you know. He could lead us somewhere important, maybe even to the boss himself” Shining smiled, “A stakeout two nights in a row, Kal? You’re spoiling me, you know that?” The two walked back to the library and decided that they would set up an observation post in an hour or two. Kal prepared his equipment and suited up as Shining did the former as well and acquired some supplies they might need. (Twilight’s library) Shining walked into the kitchen as Kal called after him, “And remember the beer, Shiny! Celestia only knows we can’t stalk somepony without beer!” Twilight rolled her eyes as she read a book, “What’s with your need for alcohol, isn’t that a bad thing to be drunk on a mission?” Kal shrugged, “I never thought much of it, alcohol is just one of the fundamental things you need to go on a stakeout. It’s like an unspoken rule, really” Twilight replied flatly to him, “You know, for someone so obsessed with the mission, you seem to take it lightly” Kal’s eye twitched, “I think obsessed is too strong of a word” Twilight giggled, “How about addicted? Fanatical? Devoted? You like your job a lot” “Hey, hey, hey, I just think it’s important to enjoy what you do!” Kal stated matter-of-factly, causing a chuckle from Twilight. Kal rolled his eyes, “But believe me, if I’m devoted to my mission, then YOU’RE obsessed with your books” Twilight frowned angrily, “That’s not true!” Kal didn’t respond and only looked behind her. She rotated her body, only to find herself staring down a massive mountain of books that she had carelessly tossed into a pile. He grinned smugly and stuck his tongue out as she crossed her front hooves and glared at him. (Ponyville streets and rooftops) Shining trotted out of the kitchen with a six-pack of beer and they were off. They set up another rooftop position the same distance away as the other stakeout was before, both of them were equipped with binoculars this time, as well as matching dark grey and black special operations uniforms. Shining sighed, “We’ll probably be here for a few days, I doubt he visits the boss very often” Kal shook his head and smiled, “I put on a show today with the interrogation for a reason, you know. I want the chief to know EXACTLY who I am, so he can report to his boss later tonight. We’ll see all there is to see tonight, I’m sure” Without another word, the two stared at the building for roughly two and a half hours before they saw the chief come out, “Hey, Shiny, we gotta move, the chief’s leaving” Shining nodded, and the two were on the dark streets once again, following a much-smaller target this time, but still having no trouble keeping up with him. After a little while he led them to the same building that the cart was being loaded at before. They set up a position in the same place as before as Kal took out a crossbow. Shining quirked up an eyebrow, “Who are you planning to shoot?” Without saying anything, Kal fired the crossbow and sent the bolt flying across the rooftops until it hit right next to the open window and embedded itself deeply into the wood. Shining snickered, “I think you missed, buddy” Kal grinned smugly as he took out a little device from his pocket and turned it on, “I never miss” The device turned on and started talking to them. It took Shining a few moments to realize that he hadn’t intended to hit anypony in the building; the bolt was a miniature microphone, and they would hear the whole conversation inside now. A gruff voice spoke from the little radio, “The boss wants to know what exactly we’re dealing with here. Who is this assassin?” The chief spoke, “His name is Brass Kalibur, and he is NOT to be trifled with. I’m still working on getting you a picture of him, but until then, just try to keep everything locked down. I’ve heard he’s the go-to guy in Canterlot when they need somepony dead, so we need to be careful about the information we give out” The voice chuckled, “We don’t ‘give out’ information, Chief. We’ve all been sworn to absolute secrecy, I assure you” “You can assure me anything you want, but that worthless officer told him everything he knew in only a few minutes of interrogation, and that was a pretty hard pony, I can tell you that much” The chief stated bluntly. The voice seemed shocked, “An OFFICER gave off information? Who was it?” The chief rolled his eyes, “His name was Dirty Gruff, but that’s not big news, because EVERYPONY they captured squealed like a pig when they were put on the spot” You could almost hear the confidence in the voice snap in half with a sickening crack, “Fine. Maybe you’re right, maybe we should keep important information away from the soldiers, their allegiance might not be as truthful as they say” The chief seemed annoyed, “If I were you, I would keep ALL of the information away from the soldiers. Hay, Keep it all away from anypony that doesn’t need to know about it. Anypony could get captured, and I can assure you everypony WILL squeal. Therefore, if you limit the number of ponies in the know, you limit the amount of information outputted” Kal grinned and whispered to the chief, despite how it was set to ‘one-way radio’, “That’s where you’re wrong, my friend. You’ve just given us a gold mine of information” The voice sighed, “Just leave, I have to send a letter to the boss about this” They followed the chief as he left, but discovered that he was, in fact, retiring for the night. Kal and Shining exchanged glances before Shining broke the silence. “So what do we do now?” Shining inquired. “Simple,” Kal added nonchalantly, “we take out the chief of police” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Short chapter is short. To anyone following this story, I'm going to be gone for like 10 days, but I assure you I'll be writing fanfics in my absence and I'll be uploading them when I come back ^.^ Then I come home for 2 days, then I go somewhere ELSE to train for 2 weeks >.> But anyways, I just didn't want anyone to think I was giving up on this series. Until then, I'll see you all later :D