Starlight sat down on a lawn chair outside of Twilight's Castle. It was a nice summer day and after a good week of ol' unicorn supremacist fighting, having a well-deserved rest delighted her. She sipped some tea as she relaxed. Such relaxation even made her dream that the world had accepted social justice at last.
A noise aroused her back to the real world of racism, bigotry, homophobia, transphobia, griffonphobia, nonponyphobia, sexism, capitalism, and inequality. She moved her sunglasses down to better see what was creating such noise. Over the hill came a mob, a mob of ponies that held signs and black hoodies. A lot of them were visibly uncomfortable because the winter gear made them sweat tremendously. She raised a brow as they approached.
"Starlight! Starlight!" they cried. "We have done as you asked! We have found a Sombrazi to spank!"
They stopped before her and shoved an average sized white unicorn mare towards her. They cheered and shouted as she landed face first into the ground. She appeared like a normal bespectacled pony, but upon her horn was a red cover molded in the shape of Sombra's wicked horn. She pulled her face out, gave herself a shake, and then returned to her hooves with indignation.
"She's a Sombrazi!" the mob cried.
"I can see..." Starlight rolled her eyes in annoyance and then got up. "We'll take care of this."
"I'm not a Sombrazi!" the mare growled, rubbing her hooves through her pink mane. "I'm a nurse!"
"The horn says otherwise!" one stallion from the crowd argued.
"YEAH!" the crowd followed suit.
The mare looked right at Starlight. "Starlight, they put this dumb horn on me."
Starlight raised a brow and with her hoof, moved the Sombra horn, showcasing that there was no horn beneath it. The object was attached to her head via a string that wrapped underneath her chin. Now the mob looked a bit deterred. but they all remained there.
"See? They think I'm a Sombrazi, but I'm not even a unicorn!" the earth pony mare said.
Starlight ignored the plea from the nurse. "What makes you think Nurse Redheart is a Sombrazi, besides the horn?"
"She thinks feminism is useless!" one answered.
"She wants to be kind to dragons!" another said.
"She doesn't want free universal healthcare!" a third shouted.
"She refused to make-out with me!"
All eyes turned to a dark gray pegasus stallion. He blushed when he realized what he had just said. Even Starlight glared at him. He gulped and began to sweat.
"She...uh..." he thought carefully. "She didn't make-out with me because I'm a pegasus!"
"She's a Sombrazi!" the crowd shouted in unison while the pegasus sighed in relief. "She's a Sombrazi!"
"Alright, alright," Starlight quieted them down. "So she did all that."
"No I didn't!" Redheart stamped her hooves on the dirt.
"So you did make-out with him?" Starlight pointed at the pegasus.
"What?" Redheart asked incredulously. "No I didn't kiss him."
"Because he's a pegasus? How dare you! I thought racism had gotten better than that. Guess I'm wrong," Starlight told the nurse with absolute disdain.
"No! I didn't make-out with him because I have the right as a mare to deny such contact!"
"You give up your rights if you don't agree with feminism. Self-hating mare," Starlight berated her again.
"I'm not a Sombrazi!"
Starlight paused, thinking. "Well then, why aren't you a Sombrazi?"
"Because I don't believe in Sombrism! I believe in freedom!"
"Redheart, do you agree with us?" Starlight gestured at the crowd and herself. At this question, the ponies gathered around closely to hear the accused pony's response.
"What? No! You're a bunch of lunatics!" Redheart said loudly.
"See? You're a Sombrazi! You admitted it yourself," Starlight shrugged.
"No I didn't! I don't believe in fascism!" the nurse sounded worried.
"An ignorant fascist is still a fascist," Starlight stated. "You all can spank her now. She's a definite Sombrazi."
Starlight returned to her chair as her minions pinned Redheart down to a wooden board and began smacking her rear with a paddle.
"Gouch!" Redheart whelped. "Oh! By the Sun, ya'll are getting flu shots up the ass! Ouch!"
"Spank the Sombrazi! Spank the Sombrazi! No mercy!" the crowd chanted.
And Starlight crossed her legs and watched them punish the Sombrazi. A smile crept on her face. "Ah, it's a good day to be an anti-fascist," and she grinned as she sipped her tea once more.
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