Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster


Zulu: I Am Deterrence

The shockwaves reached Twilight and Spike, knocking over the bag 'o loot. Not that either of them really noticed; Twilight was busy studying the apparently-magical bongo drums while Spike was playing on another set. Neither of them noticed that the hippies nearby seemed to be responding to the drums, either.

Knight removed her massive hoof and checked underneath it. There were no remains of the alicorn she'd slammed on her hoof or the ground. Which meant only one thing.

The ground began to shake underneath Knight. Cracks appeared in the sand and arced outward, shifting and shattering in a jagged web. A glowing ethereal light spread through the cracks and Knight instinctively backed away. She deployed her auto cannons again.

"HeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" The ground exploded in front of Knight, showering dirt and sand all over the battlefield. Flower Power shot up from the crater, her form changed yet again. Her mane and tail now burned in green flames, a matching, burning green aura around her eyes. Her body radiated power and rage, glowing aurora-like lines ran the length of her legs and drew swirls on her body. Flower Power's eyes themselves were glowing yellow-orange balls with a radiating green aura around them, face gritted in pure rage as she stared at Knight.

Energy sept up from the ground beneath them and encircled Flower Power. It came to a point on her horn and grew, becoming a massive pillar of pure, bluish-green magic. It glowed like a lava lamp above her head.

"War is unnatural! YOU ARE UNNATURAL! ALL THOSE WHO GO AGAINST MOTHER NATURE SHALL FEEL HER WRATH!!!"

"Possible hacking detected. Reporting to admin." Before Knight could back away, Flower Power slammed her with the massive energy column like a baseball bat. Knight was sent flying from the blow and crashed into the mesa west of the base. The machine's massive body gouged into the surface of the rock, embedding in the side of the mesa slightly. Knight struggled to get out.

Warning! Heavy damage sustained!
Leg drive motors: heavy damaged sustained, auto-repair functions initialized.
Error: damage approaching critical levels. Repair functions insufficient.
Condition Red! Condition Red!

Although sentient, she was still part machine. Knight's systems blared warnings inside her head, the equivalent of a Magic Gear concussion. She fought through the error messages, struggling to get her processors back online. She pulled herself out of the mesa.

But she never reached the ground. Although her body resisted magic and made it so she couldn't be levitated, Flower Power was more than able to lift the ground and rock around her. The alicorn pulled the rocks containing Knight out of the mesa like pulling a nail out of a two-by-four. For a moment, she looked at Knight, helpless before her. Knight fired her auto cannons at her but missed. It was then the Magic Gear realized its left optical sensor array, in other words, her left eye, had been broken. The grid of lights that made up the surface of her left eyeball had gone out. Although they were repairing themselves, she was blind for the moment.

Her remaining eye watched as Flower Power grinned at her maliciously. She then felt herself rise up from the world, spin around and then the world rise up to meet her face.

Flower Power smashed Knight into the sand, shattering the boulder that contained her into the dirt. Rubble and bits of Knight's armor scattered around the battlefield. In the middle of it all, Knight struggled to stand.

Error- Critic8392103 sustasustasustained. Systems Offlililililine.
Critical damage sussssssstained! Emergency! Emergennnnnnncy!
What is... what is still working? What can I do?
Requestestestest assistanceance. Repairs required.
Negative. Repairs not available.
Additional susususuport required. Error: Equestrian air forces dedededpleted.
They're still... they're still recovering. They need my help.
Error: support rerequireded.

Flower Power looked over her helpless prey. "Has the tin soldier finally given up? No one around to recharge your batteries?"

Knight's remaining eye flickered red. She brushed her broken hooves against the ground, struggling to get enough power to lift her own weight.

Criticalalalalalal Critical damage sustained-sususustained. Systems offlineine.
Must... stand.
Leg drive motors critically damaged. Sys89983 offli-error.
Is there anything... anything on me that still works?
Communications array online.
Wait... so I can call for help? But there is no help.
Communications array online. Advisement: request additional support.
No one's out there...
Communications array online. Advisementment: request-
Fine, do it, do it now.
Beginning trans33mission.

Knight's ear reconfigured into satellite dish-like shape. An antenna deployed and a tiny red light on the end began to pulse, scanning for frequencies. With systems damaged, Knight now sent a signal to locate any help that remained. She managed to straighten and at least get to her knees.

"Oh, what's this now?" Flower Power asked. "Isn't that pretty? It's like a flower," she said, hovering toward's Knight's ear. "But you're not going to San Francisco, are you? Here," she grabbed Knight's right ear. "LET ME PLANT IT FOR YOU!" Yanking with all her arcane might, She pulled Knight's ear off.

"GAAH!!" Knight screamed in pain, falling over.

Flower Power then hovered back down with Knight's satellite-reconfigred ear and planted it in the sand like a mock flower. The light on it continued to pulse.

"AAAHH! Aaaaahhh!" Knight screamed, holding the side of her head. She writhed on the ground, in pain. Flower, momentarily enamored with her "planting", looked back to Knight.

"Remarkable," she said, coming near her again. "You really do feel pain, don't you? That's incredible." She leapt onto Knight's tummy chassis. She kicked Knight with her hooves. "Let's see exactly how much you can feel, war machine!" She punched Knight in the gut, denting her. Whether the damage was just superficial or because of the damage she'd already sustained, Knight didn't feel much.

I... I have failed. This is defeat... again.
Sysysysystems failfailinnnnggg...
Maybe I was wrong... maybe... there is no hope for a machine... here....
Power failiiiiiiiierrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... error.
Emergency reserves activateded. Operating on reserve powerer only.

"I think I'll show you to Dan and the others. Maybe he'll still give you a new coat of paint, hahahaha!" Flower Power said, cackling.

Behind her, Knight's ear's antenna continued to pulse. Suddenly, the color changed from red to green.

Connection established. Accessing Equestrian Orbital Grid.
Wha... what?
Connection established to Equestrian Orbital Defense Grid. Support request acknowledged.
De...defense grid?
Uplink engaged... awaiting response...

Knight's ear still continued to broadcast, even disconnected from her body. Linked with her communications systems, it sent a signal to several disused Enclave relay stations, which transmitted the signal into orbit. The antenna pulsed blue as it transmitted the exact instructions.

Response acknowledged. Accessing Defense Grid...
Locating closest platform...
.......Confirmed.
ARCHIMEDES-V-class Orbital Defense Platform designate Daisy-3 awaiting instructions.
Satellite... it's a satellite in orbit. Does it have any weapons?
Error. Daisy-3 awaiting instructions.
Ahh... unnnnhh, activate close fire support protocols! HELP! HELP!!
Acknowledged. Daisy-3 reports repositioning. Estimated one minute to engage.
I... I have to distract her. Keep her in range... overcharge emergency batteries!
Warning! Safeguards engaged! Unstable power regulation-
Disable safeguards, overcharge battery now!!
Acknowledged... done.

Knight's working eye flared to full power. She lifted her right foreleg and swiped, smacking Flower Power off her chest. The massive machine then got to her hooves, breathing hard as her inner systems worked beyond their own limitations. Her backup power completely drained, she was now running on pure adrenaline.

"Oh, so you didn't quite get enough? Got some spare double-As in there somewhere, have you?"

"I could beat you if I was powered by a potato clock."

Flower Power grinned. "Well, I would approve of that," she said, summoning another magical spear. "After all, that would be green energy." She swung the energy column at her again.

But Knight was ready this time. She ducked, and Flower Power swung it back around again. Knight grabbed it, negating the magic's effective force. Flower Power had a firm grip of it with her horn and the two wrestled with it. Unfortunately, the alicorn proved the stronger and used the column to flip Knight on her back again. She then raised it high above them both.

"Dan should've picked a hybrid!" She swung it down at Knight.

The Magic Gear rolled out of the way at the last second. The column smashed into the dirt right next to her. Knight didn't waste the opportunity; she turned and dove at Flower Power. The alicorn was taken off guard by the machine's maneuverability. While distracted trying to hit her with her magic, Flower Power was completely unprepared for Knight's lunge at her. Knight tackled her to the ground. Before she could get back up again, Knight grabbed her own removed ear and planted it on Flower Power while she was stuck to the ground. Using her ear, she held Flower Power in place.

"Ennngh! UNNNGH!!" Flower struggled to raise her hooves. Her magic wasn't able to lift the machine holding her down. "You're... you're too strong!" Red lines cascaded down from the sky. They became huge pillars of crimson light surrounding the two combatants. The red lines then closed in on them.

"Strong enough."

"Ennnnaaaah!!" She screamed, still struggling. "What's the point of this?! What's the point of having weapons like you to "defend" Equestria? You're too dangerous to be near anyone safely! What's the point of having all this power?!?!" The red lines focused on Knight's ear... which was still pressing on Flower Power's stomach.

"Deterrence."

"What the hell is deterrence?!"

Firing sequence engaged.

"I am deterrence."

A giant red-white beam of energy pierced the blue sky and hit the ground. It blasted through Knight's ear, through Flower Power and exploded. A wall of fire and magic, two different powerful forces combined erupted from the impact and bloomed outward. The mesa nearby collapsed and the wall of fire expanded outward. It stopped just short of the base.

Twilight and Spike, now in command of the hippy herd, rode them as a wave towards Knight's position.

"Knight! Knighty, where are you?!" Twilight yelled.

They both looked around. "I don't see either of them, Twilight."

"We should've intervened... we should've tried to help," Twilight said.

"She would've gone all-out, Twilight. She might've tried to use us as hostages," Spike reminded her. "It looks like they both really went at it. The whole field is covered in rubble."

Twilight lowered her head. "I know... we'll have to start digging if we want to get them out. Or... what's left of them."

"Not necessary." Knight limped out of the cloud of debris, picked up her blasted ear off the ground and reattached it to her head.

"Knight!" Twilight flew up to to her big metal friend and hugged her battered muzzle.

"Mission successful?"

"Yes! Yes, you did a great job," Twilight said, nuzzling and being nuzzled by Knight. "We're just happy you're okay."

"I am fine. May require juice box... or maybe tea."

"We'll get you whatever you need. Big trooper." They hugged and squee'd.

"You'll... need more... than tea..." Flower Power said. Her voice was higher now and strained, she weakly crawled out of the rubble behind them. "You're going... to lead us... all... to... ruin..."

They turned to her. The alicorn was no longer Celestia-sized. Her empowered form had been reduced to scorched green remains that clung to her hooves. It slowly dissolved from her, leaving a smaller Twilight-sized alicorn underneath, her regular form revealed.

"Why are you doing all of this?" Twilight asked, flying down to her. "Do you just want the zebras to conquer all of us?"

She scowled at Twilight like a teenager. "What'd be so bad about that?"

"There's a lot bad about that," Twilight said. "For one, they don't allow the use of magic."

"Or technology," Spike added.

"Outside of potions and simple tools, that is," Knight added as well.

"Pffft, like we need any of this... junk," Flower Power said. "The zebras follow nature's plan and look at them. They're powerful, they kicked your asses and everypony else that's ever stood against them. That's all there is to it- nature always has a plan."

Twilight stood. "Well, we have different plans. And we're not going to have you going against them."

"Hahaha... like you can stop me. My strength always returns quickly. You won't beat me next time," Flower Power said, chuckling.

Twilight hopped up on Knight's back. "I'm not going to give you a next time." She whispered something in Knight's ear. Knight then turned so Twilight could whisper into her good ear.

"Affirmative. Commencing firing sequence." Knight's horn began to glow. Although it was no longer a Sword Spell, she was capable of one very powerful form of magic.

"What... what are you doing?"

"You tried to trap us, to sabotage and bring harm to Equestria. You entranced and endangered its citizens in violation of your own treaty. There's only one punishment for this," Twilight said. She flew up from Knight's chassis. "As a princess of Equestria, I am sorry. But this is for your own good." Knight aimed at Flower Power.

The summer-yellow alicorn looked around. "What is this? Banishment? You think Tartarus can hold me? In case you forgot, the moon's already been taken. Ask Vice Grip if you don't believe me."

Twilight glared at her. "We intend to. By the power I've been granted, I hereby banish you, Flower Power!"

"Wait, no-!"

"I hope you learn something from all of this!!" Knight unleashed a blast of white-blue magic at her.

"NOOOOO!!!" It hit the alicorn where she crawled in the sand. She was too weak to block it, to summon any magic to defend against it, even if it wasn't the Elements of Harmony, it was still powerful enough to teleport Flower Power far away.

Banishing magic could be consider the opposite of summoning magic. They were both types of teleportation magic, and the stronger and the more a unicorn or alicorn knew about magic, the stronger the effect. When Nightmare Moon was banished using the Elements of Harmony, the Elements also sealed her, but in truth, they were two different spells: banishment and imprisonment. Imprisonment magic seals the target and prevents them from using magic or escaping whatever they are imprisoned to. Knight used a lower form of banishing magic.

"Woah..." George Washington said. "Who the heck was that chick?"

"She was evil. I didn't like her," another hippy said.

"Five-oh got the job done, tho."

Twilight smiled at Knight. "C'mon. Let's go get some tea."

"Yay! Engaging approval sequence!" The three of them walked back to the base, eager for rest and recuperation. And to find Dan before he burned the place down.... again.


Earth, U.S.A
Salt Lake City, Utah

Flower Power landed in an alley next to a building. She lifted her head up... and realized quickly that she had hands. She was human, more or less, and wearing hippy-esque clothes.

"Where... am I?" She looked down. "Oh... wait, is this the Canterlot High dimension?" She stepped outside the alley. "This might not be so bad."

A group of people passed her, all different and multi-colored skin, just like the movie. She smiled, hands on her hips, deciding she could get used to this.

One of them, another girl, stopped by her. "Hi there! Are you going to the service?"

"Service?" FP asked. "Service for what?"

The girl giggled. "Sunday morning service, silly! It's almost starting!"

"Sunday morning?" Flower Power ran out to the sidewalk. Across the street was a billboard for FOX News. Next to her was a bus bench with an ad on it with Rush Limbaugh's face on it. "Conservative media?! Where am I?!" And finally, she saw it across the parking lot. The building she'd landed next to had a huge sign out in front. It read: CHURCH OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS. SERVICE 7-11:30. Bakesale this Monday!

Flower Power felt her jaw drop. "La... latter-day saints?! No... not mormons! ANYTHING BUT MORMONS!!!" Behind her, the church bell let out a single, loud *gong*. She fell to her knees and yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Behind her, a man with orange hair shook his head at the sight of her. "You wouldn't have lasted a day in the Puppet Dimension," Hoss Delgado said.