//------------------------------//
// ...We Can Make It Through The Night 
// Story: Big Tavi Lil Tavi Cardboard Box 
// by All Art Is Quite Useless 
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	Octavia sat on her haunches in the corner of her bed, set against the wall. She was facing the door, her eyebrows knit in reflection, her composure regained after a significantly long period of self proclaimed weakness, during which she laid around in a langourous manner, bashing Vinyl for being difficult to interpret, and then blaming herself for not understanding her roommate's behaviour.

First, she had questioned her own empathetic ability, and wondered if she was simply too dissociated with the ponies around her, even the ones closest to her, to be of any use in matters of sensitivity and compassion. Next, Octavia considered how it could be construed that she was a rude, invasive pony, going through her roommate's possessions without any considerations as to her feelings, then, when she had found something that confused and vexed her, deciding to confront Vinyl about it rather than keep it to herself.

Part of her mind had argued that her reaction was a sign of strength and that she would not take nonsense in her own home, nor deal with pretenses, but the rest of her strongly argued that she should not have pried in the first place. Octavia was not used to this manner of internal conflict, raging in her mind as it was, and blamed it for the temporary break in her usually prim behaviour. Arguments warranted counterarguments and reasons presupposed blame; Octavia's mind was tumultuous and discordant.

By this point, Octavia had managed to calm herself somewhat, reminding her stilling form that she was usually assured in her thoughts and decisions and was not a mare of hesitation, and would not be now. It was time for her to order her thoughts and figure out just what she would do, she decided. Despite this revelation, Octavia was reluctant to begin. Still, her mind's voice persisted.

I should feel guilt. I am a fool for my behaviour. Vinyl may have acted in a different manner to that which is her nature whilst in my presence, or she may not have, I do not know that. There are many studious ponies that do not flaunt it, aren't there? What right have I, existing upon the same level as her, and exercising a similar level of emotional stagnancy, to judge Vinyl on her character? Does having more sides to her make the ones I have already seen irrelevant? Must I assume that because she is educated to the degree that she is, likely more so than myself, that she doesn't like that hyperactive raving music that she does?

That would be ridiculous. Even if her looks, image, and profession are all part of some facade, you can't fake a personality like Vinyl's, nor an appreciation for music such as the one she possesses. In all honesty, I couldn't ask for a better roommate, and finding out she has more dimensions to her just makes her all the better. I have been curious about Vinyl for a long time, knowing she has never had a manager, that her mixes do not pass through any other hooves during their editorial process, that she must have self-marketed all the way to the level of fame she has attained. How did it not occur to me sooner that she was mentally gifted?

In more ways than just musical production at least. I like to say that I am perceptive, but I appear to be mistaken. Vinyl made it clear earlier that she cares for me, I need to stop sulking and return this gesture in some way. I should let her know that I can understand her, that nothing is too confusing, that things can be dealt with no matter what--

At this point, Octavia had to stop her internal rambling, or as she affectionately referred to it, thought ordering. She did not stop because she wanted to, or because she had run out of things to say. She did not even stop because she had finally made sense of all that was happening in her head, and all that had happened earlier that evening. She stopped because she heard the door open, and she yearned to tell Vinyl, who was surely dealing with severe upset, that she wished to help. At once, she roused herself and stood, angling toward her bedroom door and pushing on the wood, as it was not fully shut.

With the door open, she trotted into the foyer to greet Vinyl, a small, sheepish smile upon her face. Vinyl did not regard her, or even steal a glance at her, instead trotting past at a relaxed pace, cigarette in her mouth. The sight gave Octavia pause.

She knew that Vinyl had smoked in the past, even while living with her, however, she was meant to have quit months ago. Then, she had spoken about having no need for the habit, and wanting a positive change in her life, and Octavia had been supportive. It was not Vinyl's picking up of the habit that shocked her though, it was her smoking in the house. When Vinyl and Octavia had began rooming together, it had been on the condition that Vinyl didn't smoke indoors, due to Octavia's preference of cleanliness and dislike of yellow, smoke stained walls and ceilings. She also didn't like the thought of her lungs being polluted by the second hand smoke currently circling the room in small, wraith-like wisps. 

As she watched a translucent column of smoke rise to the ceiling, she realised that something else was amiss, something she had not initially considered. Vinyl had not acknowledged her upon her arrival. Not a look, not a greeting, or even a nod. Octavia could feel frustration mounting, due to Vinyl's blatantly deliberate ignorance, but tried to keep it bottled as she moved to address her directly. "Vinyl?" She asked, almost meekly. There was no response, save Vinyl stopping in her tracks, still not facing her. She tried again, more strength present in her tone this time. "Vinyl, you're smoking again."

"Well done." Vinyl couldn't have sounded more blunt.

Octavia only stood for a second, mouth open, as she imagined that Vinyl's eyes were boring into her with a strength with matched her tone. Despite this, she did not falter. "You know you're not supposed to smoke in the house Vinyl, I would greatly appreciate it if you could put that out."

Vinyl took a long, drawn out puff on the cigarette before lifting it in her aura and flicking it onto the carpet, stubbing it out with the tip of her right forehoof after it had landed. "Better?" She asked, sarcasm laced in her tone.

"No that is not better! Honestly Vinyl, what is wrong with you tonight?! I've thought and thought about the things you said earlier and I wanted to believe there was a feasible reason for your upset but this is petty. I know that I shouldn't have been in your room without your permission and I know that it was wrong to make assumptions about you based upon your choice in literature! I also realise that I could have been less pressing when asking you why you chose to hide these things, or even that I could have not asked at all, I know these things Vinyl, and I am sorry, but I wish you would stop this! You never ignore me, you are always polite and considerate of my feelings, and you never intentionally upset me in the way that you just have. Frankly this is nothing like you, Vinyl. You are acting completely out of character and I would hope that--"

"Hold on wait." Vinyl interjected, indignation rapidly developing from her previous, scornfully indifferent appearance. "You think I'm being, what was it, out of character? That's what you said, isn't it?" Vinyl waited a second before continuing. "Well come on, tell me, was that what you said?"

Octavia opened her mouth to respond. "Well yes Vinyl that's what you're doing. Anyone who knows you could see--"

Octavia's sentence was drowned out by Vinyl's laughter, long, out of place and almost maniacal in delivery. In a few seconds, Vinyl started to speak again. "So let me get this clear. You believe that I, a mare that you personally confessed, "never tells you anything" am being out of character? How would you know, if I don't tell you anything, eh Octavia? How would you know what's the real me, and what's an affectation, a pretense, which isn't really me? How the hell would anypony know? You really aren't as smart as you pretend to be Octavia, you sit around and conclude that I am something different to what you thought I was, and then you get all shocked when I act differently! Like shit, what did you expect? And before I go on a tangent let me put it to you that nobody knows what is and isn't in character for me. I mean, screw me, most ponies only see me when I'm out working, and I don't even talk then! I've had people come up to me and talk with really slow, exaggerated movements because they assume I'm freaking disabled or something! Like yeah, clearly cause I'm not talking every prick's ears off while I'm at work, I must be unable to speak or something. Ponies and their asinine assumptions never cease to shock me! Maybe I wanna get on with my work without interruption, that ever occur to anyone? Or maybe it's because there's no point in trying to speak when I'm behind a turntable which I haven't already enchanted, because who the hell is gonna hear me if I do? And don't even get me started on the shades, the amount of ponies that treat me as if I am blind is almost staggering. Do you see how frustrating all of this must be to me? And these are judgments I have to deal with from strangers. Now, all of that would be fine, totally fine, in fact it has been for a long time, because I could go to my home, a home which I share with you and allows me to live in a judgment free atmosphere. I'm with someone who won't try and ask me a million questions, someone who won't assume things about me, someone who won't think me something I'm not and will just accept me how I want to be accepted. But you had to ruin that, didn't you? You had to go and alter your perception of me, and now you think that everything I do is some kind of ploy? Like I'm just playing an act all of the time? I was happy Tavi... I've been happy for a long time, because I've felt safe and secure here. You know, I've heard that one a lot tonight, the whole 'out of character' spiel. Custom said it, and okay I've been going there for a while and I just randomly walked in all robot like and asked for smokes, excusable I suppose. But then Ditzy said it. Ditzy, who I've spoken to like what, ten times at best? She turns around and tells me that my behaviour isn't 'like me', whatever the hell that means. Like what, is this some magical reality where ponies never get upset? 

All the while Octavia had stayed quiet, partially out of respect for a clearly distraught Vinyl, visualised by her shaking and her wildly varying intonation, and also because Vinyl's words stunned her. The mention of Ditzy made her speak up. "What did you say to Ditzy, Vinyl?"

"Told her to take a hike is what I did, she was getting on my last nerve."

Octavia took on a scolding tone, albeit gentle. "Vinyl, you know how sensitive poor Ditzy is, what was she even doing?"

"Doesn't matter what she was doing she was irritating me! That mare is always in the wrong place at the wrong time, getting in the way."

"Vinyl, what was she doing?"

Vinyl's gaze and tone lowered in force and she replied with hesitance, for the first time since returning home. "She was trying to help me."

"What do you mean, Vinyl? You hurt her feelings?" Octavia understood what she was implying but had difficulty imagining Vinyl being so mean to a vulnerable pony like Ditzy, no matter her mood at the time.

"I mean she came over and tried to cheer me up, and I ignored her at first. And then she said something, I can't even remember what it was really, I don't even think it was anything important, but something inside me kinda snapped... I pushed her away, I pushed all of my upset and anger onto her, like a freaking bully. I think she was crying when she left, and yet, all I could think of is how lonely I felt, not the poor mare I had just reduced to tears... I feel terrible. Ditzy didn't deserve it, none of you have deserved this tonight, and I don't deserve any of you..." Vinyl was visibly trembling, her forehooves locked to the ground and her gaze's focus impossible to determine past her shades.

Octavia had tried to remain composed throughout the entire exchange, but at this point her own emotions had began to seep through, and she felt the need to speak her thoughts aloud. "I am so sorry Vinyl... I am sorry for everything. I am sorry that I have driven you to this point, I am sorry that I could not have been more understanding, I am sorry that you did not feel you could confide in me. I feel like a terrible, terrible friend." Octavia, although profusely apologising, managed to say all of these things with a straight face and an unlaboured tone, something that made Vinyl chuckle slightly, despite her current sadness.

"It's me that should be sorry. Look at all I've done tonight, I've hurt everypony that's come near me, and for what? Who benefited from it? I should be apologising."

"You should not apologise for being yourself, even if the pony inside of you is hurt, it is not a common occurrence for you. You do not often hurt the feelings of others, and the occasional slip up is excusable, as long as you feel remorse, Vinyl."

"I feel terrible Tavi... I've just felt so... so angry! So incompetent. I feel as if I'm forced to act in a certain way. Over the years I've built a face so elaborate that my life may as well be modeled around it. And, I guess it technically is. Since I found this music, this amazing unbound thing, that gave the artist as well as the listener autonomy and freedom of expression, I knew that it was what I needed in my life. I needed an opportunity to do something fulfilling with my life, to show who I was, more to myself than anyone else. Believe it or not, music wasn't my first direction in life, nor my first interest, but it was the one that drove me forwards and brought me happiness. Over the years, I've become absorbed in my musical ventures, and in response music has absorbed me. It's given me an image, a fanbase, and with that many other things, some could be seen as great, some not so much... People's preconceptions have shaped me, shown me what is expected from a mare of my position, so I've played that position as best I can, so much that certain parts of me just don't show on the surface anymore. The side of me that cares about the serious issues and questions of the world, it feels almost like a guilty pleasure now that my life is facilitated by it's own propaganda. I wish I could be that mare again, as well as who I am now. I wish I didn't have to hide, I wish I didn't feel so boxed in..."

Octavia smiled warmly and placed a hoof upon Vinyl's wither and rubbed her gently, a gesture she had extended to her only a handful of times in the past. "I would have appreciated you however you were Vinyl. However you came across to me, I would have liked you as much as I do all the same. We always would have been close no matter what. It is like you told me, I am your yin, and you are my yang. We are here to protect and look after each other, and I will always have full intention of doing so. I will be strong for both of us, but I need you to support yourself too, Vinyl, please. You cannot go on like you have tonight."

Vinyl held back her bubbling emotions no longer, releasing a stream of tears and crying out audibly, something Octavia had only seen a couple of times in the past. Octavia came forward and embraced Vinyl. As awkward as she found the motion, along with the unfamiliar contact, she knew that Vinyl needed the comfort. She could not help but ponder whether or not she found the hug comforting herself, as she held Vinyl in her firm hooves, letting her softly cry into her coat, her shades slightly pushed up but eyes buried in Octavia's fur.

After an interval that neither pony attempted to measure, the crying slowed, and Vinyl pulled herself away from Octavia, donning her shades once again after wiping her eyes with a forehoof. Octavia hoped that her counsel had helped somewhat, and decided to test the waters. "I think that you should request an audience with Princess Twilight, Vinyl. Hear me out before you respond. Princess Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, and therefore would likely be able to suggest ways for you to get out of your shell and be the real you, unmitigated by societal expectations or your own barriers. Second, I am led to believe that she was once the town librarian, before she was titled princess, and would likely be suited to discuss books and literature with you, more than one such as I. Although, that is not to say that I will not discuss your books, or anything else with you. I will if you wish me to. In fact, I will always attempt to be of assistance. The third reason that I suggest Princess Twilight is that I suspect she has been through something similar to you; ponies acting differently around you for superficial reasons. She may know coping mechanisms, among other things. Will you consider it?"

Vinyl nodded sharply. "I'll do it, Tavi. I don't want to feel like this anymore, and I don't want to make anyone sad again... I'll do it, and I'll get better, I promise."

"Which reminds me, you will apologise to Ditzy, the first chance you get."

Vinyl nodded once again, ears flattened against her head. 

Octavia sighed and looked Vinyl over, laying on the floor next to her. She looked a wreck. Her lips appeared to be dry, her shades were glossed over, likely due to tears, her fur was frazzled and messy, and there was a burn mark on one of her forehooves. Only her mane looked as it always did, brilliant and unbroken, a bastion of dazzling colour among a sea of tarnished fur, the last defence of her tattered image. "We're going to get through this, Vinyl, I assure you."

"No need to assure me, Tavi, I could get through anything with you by my side."

Octavia only smiled in content at the response, all the while looking out of the window at the calm night sky, devoid of clouds of rain. No wind was whistling by and slicing at those who were unfortunate enough to be caught in it, nor was there hail pelting down upon the hard ground. The world was calm, as it should be, as it was at that moment in the house of Octavia and Vinyl, as it would be for days to come. Octavia willed this thought to be true with steady conviction as she let the effects of fatigue take over, staying with Vinyl awhile and making sure that she was significantly calmer than earlier, before conceding to her tired mind's demands and retiring to her bed.