//------------------------------//
// With a Little Bit of Luck... 
// Story: Big Tavi Lil Tavi Cardboard Box 
// by All Art Is Quite Useless 
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	You absolute dick. Vinyl stood in her room staring at her small literature collection, considering an impromptu bonfire, before quickly dismissing the idea. You're so stupid Vinyl. Couldn't keep it contained could you? No wonder Tavi's confused, she's never seen me act anything like that! I didn't want her to either. She eyed herself in the mirror and snarled at her reflection. Vinyl often looked carefree, energetic, and happy-go-lucky. Now, she had a haggard look on her face which she couldn't shake if she tried. 

Imbecile. People I don't know can deal with my superficial bullshit all they like, but Tavi? I shouldn't act around her, I shouldn't have to. Do I really feel like I have to? Am I that scared of being myself? She ran a hoof through her mane, feeling the transmogrification enchantment she had perfected over the years holding true, as it always did. 

She had originally developed it in an attempt to save money on wax and spray, when she could barely afford to eat but needed to retain her image, but over time it was modified to reflect light and resist fire, for the purpose of not losing her hair whilst dealing with pyrotechnics, and to further enhance her light shows by giving her mane a polychromatic, shimmering effect.

At this moment, however, she wanted to dispel her mane, throw away her glasses, and be somepony else, if only for her own indulgent relief. Again, she dismissed the rash thought. Stop it. You've put too much into your image to ruin it, so don't even think about it. What would you be without that mane and those glasses. Who would even recognise you? You'd probably look like a fan or an impersonation act, and have to start from scratch. 

She didn't even have the capacity to laugh at her unintentional pun, favouring cursing herself in her mind over any prolonged rational thought. You had to do it didn't you? Couldn't help yourself. As soon as someone I wanna impress mentions something I know about, the veneer vanishes, and all of a sudden I'm going full freaking Twilight mode. I'm so conceited. Self absorbed too. Here I am, feeling sorry for myself, practicing my best masochistic internal monologue, and Tavi is likely out there just as confused, not to mention disappointed.

Vinyl paced back and forth as she lashed herself repeatedly with statements, barbed and malicious, intended to remind her just how idiotic she really was. She proceeded to bash herself until she felt numb to the melancholy seeping from her conscious thoughts, until she was tired of complaining, and instead settled for empty pessimism. Screw this, I'm going for a walk. With that, Vinyl trotted to her bedside table, picked up her hastily dumped headphones from half an hour previous, and left her room. 

As she trotted across the hall and the living room came into view, she didn't sigh with relief that Octavia wasn't there, at this moment she didn't have the energy to care. She carried on going, across the foyer and out of the door, almost forgetting to shut it in her absentminded condition. She told herself she was walking to clear her head but knew it wasn't the truth. Really she was trying to get away from herself, and her roommate as an extension. She should have felt guilty for leaving unannounced and not dealing with her problems, but her empathy had been sapped away by her earlier thoughts, and she no longer cared what she did, nor what effect it would have on others.

As Vinyl trudged along, dragging her lead laden mind with her, she began to dissociate with her surroundings. Vinyl was no longer paying any attention to where she was going or what she was doing, she drifted without grace, gravitating toward the closest grocery store, a small establishment ran by a middle aged stallion named Custom Fit. He had told Vinyl, during one of her many visits to the grocers, that he had once worked as an apprentice to one of Hoofington's premier tailors, but found the work stuffy and constricting, and as such had developed an interest in real estate.

His was one of many buildings he owned, but he still ran a till, as one quality retained from his time as a tailor was a friendly demeanour and a desire to please customers. As Vinyl entered, he smiled a genuine smile and inclined his head slightly, as he usually did when Vinyl entered, as if anticipating an interesting statement or anecdote. When Vinyl remained silent, he initially didn't know whether things were going well for her, but decided to chance it regardless. "Nice evening eh, Miss Scratch? The air's very crisp tonight. So what will it be? Let me guess, Octavia's run out of teabags? Or is it digestives this time?"

Through all this Vinyl didn't react, only meandered closer to the counter, moving back and forth as she trotted, before stopping, as if in consideration. Then, she spoke. "Twenty velvet cut please, Fit."

She spoke in a monotone, no hint of emotion present, which shocked Custom Fit, for two reasons. "I thought you had quit Vinyl?"

"So did I." she grunted.

Custom flinched slightly. He was used to disgruntled customers being short with him, but had never come to expect it from Vinyl. He was trepidatious when choosing his next words, not wanting to anger the typically serene mare further, but not wanting to enable her all the same. "Are you sure you want these, Miss Scratch? Seems to me like you'd be opening a can of worms. It's not like you to be so rash if I may say so." He smiled warmly and with sincerity, hoping his words would hit their mark.

Vinyl glowered at him before retorting. "Look, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, Fit, but if I had wanted advice, I would have gone to a therapist or something. I came here because I wanted a smoke, and I still do. If you're really that worried about how much I've considered my actions, I'll think more before buying the next pack, sound good?"

Custom sighed and went to open his mouth once again "Miss scratch--"

"Are you going to serve me or not, Fit? I can go somewhere else if this is weighing too heavily on your conscience." 

Custom sighed before turning around and digging out a small pack of cigarettes, which he then placed upon the counter. "Need a light too?" He asked with forced indifference.

Vinyl gestured toward her horn with her hoof and shook her head.

"I see, that'll be 8 bits then please."

Vinyl picked up the pack in her magic and with practised precision sliced the cellophane wrapping down the middle before opening the box and removing one cigarette, which remained in suspension a foot in front of her as she put the box in the larger part of her mane, the best place for storage when she had no other option. "Write it down and I'll get it to you tomorrow, Custom. Sorry about this."

Custom resumed speaking as Vinyl turned to leave. "Don't you worry about it girl, we all go through tough times after all. Just look after yourself, you hear? This ain't like you one bit." Vinyl barely caught his last words as she left, levitating the cigarette to her mouth, then lighting it with the same incendiary magic she would often use to operate her pyrotechnics. Her first cigarette in almost three months went straight to her head, and after only two or three puffs she had regretted buying them, feeling slightly sick from the once familiar taste again spreading through her mouth and permeating her lungs. Doesn't sound so appealing when I think about it like that. Ah well. By the fifth or sixth puff, she couldn't put it down, and by two minutes later muscle memory had kicked in and she couldn't remember ever being without a cigarette in her aura. 

Vinyl carried on walking as she smoked, levitating the butt of her cigarette over to a bin after thoroughly extinguishing it against the ground, as she usually had in the past. She found herself without direction, wandering without considering her whereabouts. Three cigarettes later, she was sat in the local park, on a bench overlooking the fountain. She lit yet another cigarette, feeling abnormal without the habitual toxic inhalation she had already grown accustomed to, and closed her eyes. If one were to observe, they might think she was contemplating something, or relaxing, but in truth Vinyl barely knew where she was, such was her emotional exhaustion, heavier than any physical fatigue. Eventually, however, she was forced to return to her setting, amidst the trees and the running water, the few birds that still flew and the grey pegasus flying towards her.

Ditzy Doo paused in her flight remaining hovering directly above Vinyl and to the side, almost level with the bench, as if she was ready to fold her wings and plop a few feet down into the seat at any time. Vinyl had to crank her neck slightly to see her fully. "Hey there Vinyl! Fancy seeing you here, you doing much?"

Vinyl sighed in spite of herself. Yeah, fancy seeing me here. Not like I live in the area or anything. Oh, yes Ditzy, I'm doing so much right now, how could you tell?

Ditzy focused on Vinyl, her eyes aligning for a moment as she thought before one teetered slightly away. "You're upset, aren't you?"

Vinyl looked back at her, eyes narrowed, but still didn't speak. Gee, Ditzy, what gave that away? No, I usually sit and chain smoke on benches in the middle of the evening, just thought it would be a fun thing to do.

Ditzy moved ever so slightly closer and made to sit down beside Vinyl. "You know, I don't have to pick up Dinky for a couple more hours, she's with Princess Twilight every other Wednesday, practicing her magic."

Vinyl lit a cigarette.

Ditzy looked around, her eyes exagerating the motion slightly, and leaned in to address Vinyl. "I could keep you company if you like?"

"Do I look like I need company?"

Ditzy didn't speak for a second, hoping Vinyl would continue, but she didn't, favouring her latest cigarette over Ditzy's face at her response. "Well I just thought that maybe--"

"I don't need company. Not from you, not from anyone."

Ditzy looked away, not sure what to say in response to Vinyl's sudden assertion.

"I mean seriously Ditzy, do we really even know eachother? We never spend any time together and now you wanna take time out of your evening to sit around and cheer me up, and what, out of some magnanimous sense of goodwill, like I'm some sort of charity case? Like I need help?" Vinyl lowered her shades lightly, as if to accentuate her gaze, which Ditzy could only imagine as piercing at this point.

"I'm sorry Vinyl, I just thought--"

"Then don't think. It doesn't seem to be your strong suit. If I'm sat here, on my own, away from other ponies, after some peace and quiet, that isn't some silent cry for help! I'm not that freaking dramatic. I don't want to be saved, I don't want to hang out and what I definitely don't want is nosy pegasi dive bombing me and trying to force me into amateur counselling sessions! I want to be left the hell alone, can't you understand that?"

Ditzy blinked the rapidly forming tears out of her eyes as she took to the sky, eyes averted from Vinyl the whole time. "Y-Yeah Vinyl, I can understand that just fine. Believe it or not, I know what it feels like when people won't just leave you alone, so I'll go now, goodnight..." 

As Ditzy flew higher into the air, it dawned upon Vinyl just who she had been speaking to. Ditzy had been the subject of ridicule across the entire town once upon a time, and it was only through great personal strength that she had managed not to openly bear grudges against any of the townsfolk who had previously referred to her as 'Derpy' and made fun of her for years. Vinyl and Octavia had originally been part of the vast minority of people to refer to her by her name and only that, as they had met her at their door, delivering post, instead of being told about her by another when they had moved to Ponyville, which is how most of the nicknames and rumours had been propagated initially.

"Ditzy, wait. I didn't mean any of that."

Ditzy ascended further, seeming not to hear or even not to care what Vinyl had to say anymore, she had already done her damage.

"Ditzy, seriously, come back, I'm sorry." Still, her words went unheard. "I'm really sorry Ditzy, I'm hurting right now, I didn't mean any of that. I'd actually love the company, really."

Ditzy began to fly away in a sombre manner, not pausing to turn and listen to Vinyl's pleas, or even considering what hurtful things she might be saying to her now. 

"Please?" Vinyl cracked, knowing it was too late. Ditzy was already too far. Vinyl flicked her cigarette away as she sat watching Ditzy's receding form, wondering how much better she could have felt by now if she had been less guarded and hostile. I brought that upon myself. She was right to leave. What's wrong with me? Why did I talk to her that way? She's a lovely mare, she only wanted to help me, but I drove her off. As vinyl sat and wondered what had went wrong for the umpteenth time that night, her anger and malice gave way for a fresh bout of misery, and once again she was thankful for her shades, which would hide her wet and bloodshot eyes when she got home.