And boy, did he run.
Spike had ran across the fields, over the fence, straight through downtown, and all the way into the notorious Red Light District; in case you didn't figure it out by context clues because you're an illiterate knob, the Red Light District is nothing but a bunch of broken down homes for clubs and pubs. So, with incredible luck and finesse, who better to stumble into other than Rainbow Dash.
"Hey kid! Jeez, you look like you just got out of a marathon."
"With all due respect, Skittles Bag, shut the fuck up and buy me a drink."
Was he too forward? Her mouth is just kinda hanging open. Yeesh, what a jaw. Spike saw why all the colts wanted to explore the inner sanctums of her throat. She tried to regain her composure, only to stare at the ground for a solid few seconds.
"Did...something happen to you?"
"Well, I admitted my love to Rarity, got rejected, ran away from home, got laid in a homeless kid's cardboard castle, tried to invade Sweet Apple Acres for food, started a race war, and ran away from the almighty Princess of Assholery. Frankly, Ms. Dash, yesterday and today have not exactly treated me peachy keen."
A moment of silence passed between the two. Rainbow finally glanced upwards to find Spike looking out into the distance.
"Yeah, you need a drink. Come on, stud."
Berry's Punch is a totally original name made by Alcoholics Anonymous' biggest fan, Berry Punch. As much as she's tried to stay sober, she can't help but dipping into her own barrels, then chugging, then bringing five colts into the back for a great time. Spike couldn't help but giggle at the thought of her passing out in puddles of several different liquids.
"Gimme another one."
Another appletini slides across the table to Spike. Berry Punch, however, stumbles out of the back.
"Heyyyy, big boy~, wanna come into the back room and turn my brains into mush?"
Spike stares into the eyes of the beholder for quite a while.
"I think there's only so many STD's I can catch in a day, hun."
"SPIKE!"
Rainbow Dash flies into the dragon-- yes, into him, scales and all-- somehow ignoring the pain. Spike, however, collides into the edge of the shoddy front bar.
"If this is about anything less than the end of the universe as we know it--"
"Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity are about to walk in."
The response wasn't quite in dialogue; instead, it was simply the sight of a purple blur rushing out the back and a spinning barstool. Just as soon as he left, the door was opened by three well-kept ponies, turning every head in the room. A single quite 'buzzed' colt walked up to the group, now joined by the blackout drunk Rainbow Dash.
"Would any of you ladies like to--"
As Spike leaped from a box to a rain gutter, climbing up top the ceiling, he heard a definitive zap of electricity. Turns out taser spells do exist in the magic arsenal.
"Shit. It's one on four, bases lined. Any second, I could be found. Think, Spike, your journey can't end here..."
He felt the pitter-patter of rain graze his scales. The drops began to increase in power and volume, giving an ambiance to the current situation. He heard Applejack's voice below.
"He couldn't have run off far!"
"I say, darling, the weather outside is dreadful!"
"Can't we just settle this over some cider?"
The kid was sweating bullets. The tension was high as the three started to bicker, and the chances of having a perfect stealth job were dwindling. He waited a few seconds, then glanced down again.
Applejack was walking around the building, clockwise, at a decent pace. Rarity was going counter-clockwise, but seemed to have trouble with the mud, making her much slower. It would buy him an extra few seconds. Rainbow Dash was a problem-- she soared upwards, looking down in the alleyways to try and find her new drinking buddy. Spike had to hide behind a chimney for that one; her drunken state and vision being impaired by the rain would benefit highly in his favor.
But...he could have sworn there was another one.
A crack of lightning lit the sky, flashing a dark magenta outline. Spike knew where she was. She knew where Spike was. His next moves had to be precise, so he analyzed every tiny detail; the broken branches littering the battlefield. Pulled out, shattered ceiling tiles. A single, thin metal pipe, easily a few feet high. A sewer cover pulled open for the incoming storm.
"Spike the Dragon! You are coming out from behind that chimney and going straight home right now!"
3.
"Applejack, Rainbow Dash! Get up here and help me out!"
2.
"Ah got you, Twilight!"
"Let's just go back inside, guys!"
1.
"We have you surrounded, Sp--"
An array of sharp tiles were thrown, spinning straight towards Twilight and her friends. Blasts of purple magic confirmed that she had obliterated every target flawlessly, giving Spike just enough time to grab a large wooden stick and the metal pole.
"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Spike swung the branch to the side, Twilight teleporting out of range. Applejack, however, had not been so fast, slamming into her torso and knocking her back a few feet. The sloshing of water confirmed she had slipped and fallen. One down.
Rainbow Dash had finally landed on the opposite side of Spike, ready to pounce. Twilight began to charge her spell, wisps of snow and ice beginning to form around her. Instead of a direct action, the dragon had bought time, throwing the stick at the moment his mentor cast a ray of ice, freezing the stick itself in place. The cyan pony had pounced, but Spike rolled off the top of the roof, making her crash into an array of splinters and icicles. Two down.
With the minions down, Spike had one shot. There was no possible way he could fight Twilight in the state he was in now, but in drunken fury, he lodged the metal pole in between the rain gutter and the tiles, pole vaulting himself into the air. He heard the whistle of another magic bolt, but it just barely missed. Spike had straightened himself out, landing right into the sewer tunnel and out of their range.
By the time Twilight had ran to the edge of the ceiling, she had lost any sight of her target.
"SPIKE! Spike...Spike?"
Rarity had run to the front, flipping around and noticing her friend's cries, Applejack's bruised form, and an unconscious Rainbow Dash-- from alcohol or the attack, nobody will ever know. Probably both, though.
"...Did you get him, dear?"