Iam Noone sat in a dark room, tied to a chair. The guards had made no effort to handle him gently, as evidenced by the gash along the left side of his face. The sheer number of enchantments on his bonds, the ring on his horn, even the room itself was impressive. He looked between the two guards and a smile played across his his face, “So you two don’t smell like any of my drones, too much piss and depression in your pheromones. So your Chrysi’s right?”
“You’re getting exactly what you deserve, scum!” Was the guard’s only reply.
“Yeah, your not fooling anyone, old bug-butt’s drones always were shitty infiltrators.” The changeling grinned widely. “But by all means, have your fun. Half the castle is already infiltrated by my drones. More than a few from my own brood. They’re NOT shitty infiltrators, mind you. I’ve got ‘lings inside Princess Fast Change’s hive right now. Do you even know how hard it is to fake a changeling disguise? Of course not, your Queen Cheese Cunt’s drones. You can barely do proper ponies. I even took care of the local hive’s resident giant monster.”
“Dozens of ponies injured, numerous deaths,” the guard on the right stepped forward, “And that whole fiasco in court today was just one big SHOW for you?!?!”
“You’re not one of Chrysi’s drones are you?” Iam raised an eyebrow and grinned. “Heh, I guess castle screening was better than I thought. Are you even a changeling? You’re not a changeling at all are you? Sorry, I’m really not on my “A” game today. Didn’t expect the big guy to up and disappear. Didn’t really expect him to up and appear in the first place, either, though.”
“Are you happy with yourself, Mr. Nopony?” A new, regal voice voice rang out behind the changelings head. “Is this what you really wanted? Ponies dead? Ponies turning against changelings they were ready to embrace as friends? Is this really what you wanted?”
“I should ask you that, your majesty.” Iam grinned with a confident smile. “How many monsters did it take until you got it right? You think I’m SO evil?” The changeling’s voice became mockingly sweet and coy. “I killed SO many ponies. Pfft. That was the monster you named prince on a bad day. And I’m not even talking about Discord’s little abortion. That was the monster you share a bed with every night. You didn’t see what he was capable of inside your baby sister’s little nightmare dream machine, but I did. It inspired me… with your help of course. You’d be amazed what your precious sister fears you might do. Her fears, my life.”
At Celestia’s silence the monster continued. “But that wasn’t really you, right? That was just your sister’s nightmare of what you might become. Let’s look at that ‘other’, the one Disord thought might stop me. That wasn’t a nightmare. That was just one ancient bitch horse trying to win a war. He killed more ponies than I ever even tried to, everyday. Do you know why? Because you told him to. He did unspeakable shit because you put a weapon in his hand, pointed him at your enemies and said, ‘Hey, you just take care of these bad ponies and I’ll let Pinkie Pie tell you that your still not a monster’. Is it any wonder the only one of us who wasn’t a murderer died before he ever saw your face? You made me. Again and again. Is it better or worse when I thank you for it?”
“Guards! Leave us.” At Celestia’s order the guards quickly exited the room and the monarch turned an oddly predatory smile on her captive. “Your bonds are enchanted to prevent you from changing into a smaller form. The doo-dad on your horn will stop any magic you might be thinking of using, and this room is enchanted to prevent teleportation. Why Baltimare University.?”
“Well, it had to be a school. And it had to be a human working with a changeling. To tell you the truth, I was going to go with Decanter Elementary. Probably would’ve been more effective. But then I found out Big Sulky’s only surviving pony waifu was a student at Baltimare U. Well it’s been fun...teleportation she says,” The changeling's grin suddenly became a scowl. “Why am I still here. Text! Dammit you stupid fucking words! We had deal! TEXT!”
“So you were targeting Z’s big sister on purpose?” The alicorn narrowed her eyes, “But what did you want with me?”
“You? What the fuck are you talking about? This was never about you, you fat assed whorse! This was about my daughter, little #7. She eats fear, loathing and hatred. All my brood do, or at least can. And she can radiate emotion. You don’t know it yet, but the changeling evolution is at hand.” Nopony sneered at his captor defiantly. “Even now her hatred is feeding my loyal brood. It may take time, but eventually she WILL come around. She has to. Her mother’s been useless as a brood queen ever since the factory. I told her all those flamable chemicals weren’t good for her, but bug loves her work.”
“Loved. Past tense. She’s dead.” Celestia smiled warmly. “I saw her on my way here.”
“Wow, so your sister was really spot on about you, huh?” Iam Noone chuckled to himself. “It’s always the overly nice ones ya gotta watch out for. Seriously, Text? Now would be a really good time.”
“The words aren’t going to save you this time.” Celestia walked casually out of view. “I should spare you. It’s what Surprise would have wanted, if only for my sake. But you made Z cry. You killed her big sister. And I might still spare your life if that was all, because Z would never want me to kill anypony. But you took him away from me. Again. And he was the only pony who could possibly talk me out of killing you right now.”
“Wait… what?” An icy wind cut through what passed for Iam Noone’s soul.
“Got a secret, can you keep it? Swear this one you’ll save.” A sadistically cheerful voice cut through the room and the shadows became just ever so slightly darker. “Better lock it in pocket, you’re taking this one to the grave.”